Pre-planting mental seeds
You guys are relying too much on technology and not enough on pre-planting mental seeds.
1. I've always left obsolete cellphones laying around the home "as conversation pieces, they're hilarious!". It rings true because it is true; I had them before my SO and I were together. I often send a dinner guest home with one, making it clear they're a dime a dozen. At least three or four times in my presence, my SO has come across my current burner and she ignored it like the cluttering toy it seems (meanwhile, I break a cold sweat and curse my stupid absent-mindedness). In my car once, it was unexpectedly cold, and she just jumped out, popped the trunk, dug out a light jacket of mine, put it on and found a burner in the pocket. She just handed it to me, asking which idiot friend gave you that and doesn't he know your collection is big enough already?
2. I let my SO's calls go to vmail and I never phone her back in less than 15 minutes. Even then, I routinely DON'T phone her back but just text her that I "didn't hear the ring / didn't feel the vibrate" and what's up. I have no good reason for that, EXCEPT that some day I may be humping another chick when she calls and I don't want to have to explain why that one day I couldn't answer immediately.
3. Every 3 or 4 months, if it fits in the conversation, I mention that of course my back is getting stiffer with age, and of course I'm interested in getting a massage, but they're too expensive. If I ever get seen at or caught at an AMP, my back will have been extra painful that day, it will be my first time there and what bad luck my intentions were misunderstood.
4. Every couple of months I off-handedly mention that I leant my car to Joey/Frankie/whoever (which in actuality I never do). Sometimes I complain that they returned it smelling of cigarettes (in case my car ever does smell of cigarettes) and sometimes I complain that they returned it with a forgotten fastfood or grocery bag (which could later explain condoms or almost anything in the car). Sometimes I complain that they used half a tank of gas and where the hell did they drive to in the middle of a workday? So Joey or whoever is also the scapegoat for any red-light camera or for a mechanical breakdown. Example: That ungrateful Joey had my car all the way in City Island and the alternator went, and roadside assistance insisted that they won't cover the tow unless someone listed on the policy is with the vehicle, so I had to get a ride from coworker Frankie all the way to City Island!