Tips on not getting caught

popeye363 · Feb 27, 2013

If your playclothes are besotted with stripper scent and you change into "civvies" before going home, the clothes you wear home will pick up the aroma d'amour from your body. Even after showering (if you can get to the shower before being intercepted), you'll want to change into fresh underwear. Don't forget to bury the aromatic shorts at the bottom of the stinky laundry!

No matter how faint a scent, a woman will recognize it if it's not her own.

A better strategy, if you can manage it, is to line up a place to shower before you come home. Gyms and fitness centers are great for this, of course. Maybe you want to join the miunicipal pool, which has the added benefit of leaving you smelling of chlorine! If you have a boat, the facilities your yacht club or marina makes available for transient boaters are ideal... during the boating season. They're usually open 24 x 7. Plus, if you can obtain a locker, you have a sweet hideout for your monger phone. Of course you use a monger phone, or all this is moot.

theladiesman · Mar 5, 2013

LISteve said:

I recently got my 4th red light ticket. The outside of the envelope says its from the "Traffic Camera Division" or something like that and it's got that ominous look to the print, like an IRS envelope. Even if wifey didn't open it, if she sees it she will certainly know what its about and grill him on the particulars.

theladiesman · Mar 5, 2013

Al Shrepton said:

You guys are relying too much on technology and not enough on pre-planting mental seeds.

1. I've always left obsolete cellphones laying around the home "as conversation pieces, they're hilarious!". It rings true because it is true; I had them before my SO and I were together. I often send a dinner guest home with one, making it clear they're a dime a dozen. At least three or four times in my presence, my SO has come across my current burner and she ignored it like the cluttering toy it seems (meanwhile, I break a cold sweat and curse my stupid absent-mindedness). In my car once, it was unexpectedly cold, and she just jumped out, popped the trunk, dug out a light jacket of mine, put it on and found a burner in the pocket. She just handed it to me, asking which idiot friend gave you that and doesn't he know your collection is big enough already?

2. I let my SO's calls go to vmail and I never phone her back in less than 15 minutes. Even then, I routinely DON'T phone her back but just text her that I "didn't hear the ring / didn't feel the vibrate" and what's up. I have no good reason for that, EXCEPT that some day I may be humping another chick when she calls and I don't want to have to explain why that one day I couldn't answer immediately.

3. Every 3 or 4 months, if it fits in the conversation, I mention that of course my back is getting stiffer with age, and of course I'm interested in getting a massage, but they're too expensive. If I ever get seen at or caught at an AMP, my back will have been extra painful that day, it will be my first time there and what bad luck my intentions were misunderstood.

4. Every couple of months I off-handedly mention that I leant my car to Joey/Frankie/whoever (which in actuality I never do). Sometimes I complain that they returned it smelling of cigarettes (in case my car ever does smell of cigarettes) and sometimes I complain that they returned it with a forgotten fastfood or grocery bag (which could later explain condoms or almost anything in the car). Sometimes I complain that they used half a tank of gas and where the hell did they drive to in the middle of a workday? So Joey or whoever is also the scapegoat for any red-light camera or for a mechanical breakdown. Example: That ungrateful Joey had my car all the way in City Island and the alternator went, and roadside assistance insisted that they won't cover the tow unless someone listed on the policy is with the vehicle, so I had to get a ride from coworker Frankie all the way to City Island!

Brilliant!

nycfunnights · Jun 19, 2013

Not sure if this is the right place but want to know if anyone has experienced this and what did you do? I have a monger yahoo account that I use and just a few days ago, they want a phone verification via call or text. You can't use your google voice phone number. I figure I would just let the account go dead. Who knows who is listening in on us.

backseat · Jun 19, 2013

It's not required, just a suggestion from yahoo.

rockhudson · Jul 5, 2013

My fucking wife gave me herpes and now I gave it to my GF

lickytick · Jul 7, 2013

Just my ten cents. Be involved in a hobby that she is not into. Always go there whenever you have time. But, once ina while use that time to monger. Even if she is suspicious, she will have to keep guessing. Also don't make a routine of visiting. Its a giveaway. Change the timing and also surprise your self. I always found it easier to mingle with gym time, before or after. Also you are sweaty so she won't want to come near you

manitoba · Jul 8, 2013

Practice always what the military calls opsec or operational security.

Everything written down is coded and positively destroyed when not needed. That is make sure that you rip up and throw away the paper, not leaving it in the general trash in your car or putting it into the house garbage.

Always count and know where all condoms and wrappers (and the receipt for them from the drugstore) are, especially if you and your SO do not use them.

Always use VPN for browsing, hides all traces on the router that you use (also protects passwords and gets around firewalls at work) so is a good idea to have especially if you use Wi-Fi in public places.

Use a disk encryption program like True Crypt for anything you want to save. Make a regular encrypted volume and then a hidden encrypted volume and put the secret stuff on the hidden volume. (See their website for details)

Always clear your GPS history.

If you use Google maps on an Android phone, make sure that GPS is off or that you have not shared location with SO.

Always park a couple blocks away from incall location, walk the last little way.

Have an excuse ready for being in that part of the city. I use a friend whom my SO hates. More than half the time I am hanging out with him, I never see him. He is also the only person who knows in real life that I partake in this hobby. (He also is hobbies) We go back more than 40 years and have a high degree of trust. We have literally each saved each others life’s more than once. (Of course teenaged stupidity got us into those situations in the first place but that’s another story)

Never ever tell anyone in real life about your hobby unless absolutely necessary and then only to someone you trust with your life.

Take the money out of the bank far ahead of time. That way when you pay for a session you will not have spent the $200 that you took out the day before. My SO is in the habit of noticing when I make withdrawals and often asks me for some cash the next day ( I can get to an ATM much easier than she can) so I always have the cash available, take out the replacement cash before the session.

Always use fake names for prepaid cell phones and email addresses.

Cash only for everything, including buying the hobby phone or recharge cards for it. Don't buy stuff at Costco or Sam's Club where you have to use a membership either.

Always look for alternate exits from places, use back doors instead of exiting from a MP to the street. Easier to explain why you came out of an alley (had to piss) than to explain why you came out of a MP door if anyone sees you.

ModernDayCowboy · Feb 5, 2014

I think the steps I've taken to hide digital stuff from my SO and protect myself while out mongering can be conceived as a little bit over the top but it works.

I am in the IT industry so I have the advantage of having access to many things the average monger doesn't.

Internet browsing/e-mail:

I have a Microsoft Exchange 2010 server running at my house. I created an account on this server that I use for signing up to things (such as this site, etc.). The email goes into my server and it gets archived (saved to another journal account) and then it gets directly forwarded to one of my 3 gmail accounts so I can confirm, then get's deleted from gmail. If I ever need to see the email again I can pull up the archive on my email server. I also have 3 seperate gmail accounts. 1 I use as the forwarding account for my email account I host at home, another I use if I'm signing up to bullshit sites (basically a mongering SPAM account) and the 3rd is an account I use to respond to NP4P ads and such. All 3 email accounts use usernames and passwords that I do not use anywhere else. I also have setup a virtual machine on my server that runs Windows 7 pro. I use this specifically to check my email accounts and browse UG, BP and CL for mongering things. I simply remote into it use Remote Desktop, or if I'm not home I have Team Viewer installed on it for remote access. I do absolutely ZERO mongering things on my laptop or desktop at the house, I strictly use the virtual machine (which I am using to type this). I also maintain all my routers and switches so I'm the only one who see's the logs, so no worrying about prying eyes finding and IP address and running a WHOIS request on it.

Phones:

I have an iPhone as my daily, and a cheap Verizon flip as my mongering phone. If I am away from a computer I have no problem using my iPhone to browse BP/UG/CL. I also am not worried about my SO looking through for phone because 1) even if she does use it she doesn't use the browser I use to browse those things. I keep my mongering phone in my coat in a pocket she doesn't check, and since my coat is always on me I figured it's the best way to know it's safe. I also have come up with a bunch of excuses if she happens to stumble upon it, all of which are very plausible. Now, about that mongering phone; I picked up cheap VZW Samsung flip phone for $15 from walmart. Phone came preloaded with $10 in call credit. Obviously this was a cash transaction. I like the idea of having a cheap phone like this because if I have to toss it there's no monetary attachment. I also have the google voice app installed on my iPhone for mongering in a pinch if I don't have my second phone on me (dont take my coat, leave it at work, etc). I clear the history after I use it and she won't check my google voice so it's win win.

in call locations - Parking and getting to them:

If you are going to an AMP or in call session in an area you are unfamiliar with you should do yourself a favor and Google Map the address and use Satellite View to get an idea of the surroundings. Always look for alternate places to park, and alternate routes out to main roads using side streets. Another trick I do is when I get to an in call location such as a Motel/hotel, I will scout out/drive around the location BEFORE I call the provider to tell them I am there; sometimes I will just sit in the parking lot for 10min before calling just to see if I spot any movement/suspicious activity. I will also look for movement AFTER I make the call; anything the tiniest bit sketchy and I'm out. I've bailed on 2 providers due to a bad vibe from the parking lot. ALSO, if you use a GPS navigation unit CLEAR YOUR HISTORY. This should be a no brainer. Me personally, I use one of the 4 GPS nav apps I have on my iphone to guide me to in call locations.

Picking in call escorts:

This part I learned from wasting time and hard earned money. First thing I do when I see an ad for an escort I like is I google the phone number. If there's no other escort/mongering related results besides the ad the provider posted, I pass. Second thing I do is I search for the provider on UG and other well known sites to look for reviews. Anyone who is reviewed on this site or other reputable ones is drastically less likely to be LE. Also, I cannot stand wasting money like I have in the past on piss poor providers, so seeing other people's experiences allows me to decide if I want to go or not. I will TOFTT if I'm really into a provider (or really horny), but I do feel more comfortable if I see some feedback. Another thing I like to do is if an escort gives off a vibe like they may be a snitch, see if they've recently posted in other counties. Chances are if they move between counties (Queens, nassau, suffolk, North Jersey, etc.) they aren't a rat. LE agencies aren't wasting money on joint operations to nail mongers getting some side pussy.

Once inside in call location:

One thing I do is I DO NOT discuss anything once in the room. The only 3 things I care about I ask when setting up the appointment (Whats the donations for your time, how many pops for the hour, are you gfe). I DO NOT make any moves until the provider starts to disrobe, and I also will try and disrobe at the same time to make them comfortable that I am not LE. At that point I still do not discuss anything until after my dick is in her mouth or pussy. I do not trust scumbag LEO's to not stoop to new lows to make a case, especially in this corrupt ass county (Nassau).

Other general tips:

If you do not have a common name, make one up. I am lucky in that my first name is one of the most common male names, so I don't need to make one up because if you use my first name and my physical description LE will come up with a shit ton of results. No need to give them anymore info then needed. Also, pick one name and give it to all providers so you don't get caught or mixed up.

Don't be rude/nasty. There's no reason to be rude to providers due to bad service, or bad attitude. You are still engaging in an illegal activity and as such you should cover your own ass. This means at AMPs if you are not happy with the service, don't tip; don't do what this one guy did at an AMP I was at earlier last month did and sit there an argue with 2 workers for over an hour because you are unhappy. Suck up the fact you lost money, don't tip, leave, write a bad review, and don't come back. Same goes with escorts. Don't give them any reason to do anything in retaliation for being treated like shit. I was with a terrible provider and didn't enjoy the session at all, but I still said "Thank you" and "bye" when I left very nicely.

Don't fool yourself. These girls are in it to get money, and we are in it to pay them to give us pussy. I've watched too many people fall victim to hookers and strippers leading them on and just extorting money out of them one load at a time.

I've only been mongering for a few months but I'm no stranger to NP4P/side pussy and having to cover my ass.

Gman744 · Feb 5, 2014

Red light cameras

Always drive carefully, especially if you are in a different area than you told the wife you were going to be in. A red light camera ticket shows up, and it shows you in an area that you normally wouldn't be in, make sure wife doesn't see the ticket.

vince-10001 · Feb 5, 2014

Screen Saver/ Sleep settings

I was in the habit of checking my mail and UG as I get ready for work in the mornings,
Usually I use my lap top which my SO never touches. On rare occasions, I would use the PC that she uses..........mind you I have both set-up to delete all history and passwords etc. on exit and she has enough trouble navigating through her email, so no fear of her delving into any kind of settings and what not.

On this particular morning I used the PC.......was reading new post's about a provider that I had also posted about. All was good. went to work, came home, had dinner and retired to the den to watch the boob tube..........then it happened !

As she bellowed my name, I knew the tone was not good. I answered as politely as I could,"just a minute"......which she followed with "NOW". Crap...now what?

As I saw she was sitting at the PC, I got a sinking feeling in my gut.
"What's This" she proclaimed. I was greeted with the UG page I had been reading at 6AM that morning......my screen name staring back at me in the post's.........luckily it doesn't resemble my real name in any way.

Fortunatley, I was able to think quickly....."What's This" was the question........"just some web site I googled after reading Newsday online" was my answer.

She wasn't accepting that.....at first. Luckily for me I could prove it !! This was the same time as UG had gotten a mention in the comments section of a story in Newsday.
I sat with her, found the story. scanned the comments till I found the mention and said see........I was wondering what they were talking about and googled it.......so I was just reading the post's. She said this is about someone specfic, and I said yea have no idea who, just clicked on a link on top and got this page. No big deal.....I was just reading I told her, she accepted it and have never mention again.

So I spent a sleepless night wondering how the fuck I could have left that window opened and gone to work. Screen saver set to like 1 minute........I had gotten distracted getting ready for my day......PC went to screen saver and I forgot all about it. Now it's set for an hour and I see what's open all the time......but fuck that was a close call.

ModernDayCowboy · Feb 6, 2014

vince-10001 said:

I was in the habit of checking my mail and UG as I get ready for work in the mornings,
Usually I use my lap top which my SO never touches. On rare occasions, I would use the PC that she uses..........mind you I have both set-up to delete all history and passwords etc. on exit and she has enough trouble navigating through her email, so no fear of her delving into any kind of settings and what not.

On this particular morning I used the PC.......was reading new post's about a provider that I had also posted about. All was good. went to work, came home, had dinner and retired to the den to watch the boob tube..........then it happened !

As she bellowed my name, I knew the tone was not good. I answered as politely as I could,"just a minute"......which she followed with "NOW". Crap...now what?

As I saw she was sitting at the PC, I got a sinking feeling in my gut.
"What's This" she proclaimed. I was greeted with the UG page I had been reading at 6AM that morning......my screen name staring back at me in the post's.........luckily it doesn't resemble my real name in any way.

Fortunatley, I was able to think quickly....."What's This" was the question........"just some web site I googled after reading Newsday online" was my answer.

She wasn't accepting that.....at first. Luckily for me I could prove it !! This was the same time as UG had gotten a mention in the comments section of a story in Newsday.
I sat with her, found the story. scanned the comments till I found the mention and said see........I was wondering what they were talking about and googled it.......so I was just reading the post's. She said this is about someone specfic, and I said yea have no idea who, just clicked on a link on top and got this page. No big deal.....I was just reading I told her, she accepted it and have never mention again.

So I spent a sleepless night wondering how the fuck I could have left that window opened and gone to work. Screen saver set to like 1 minute........I had gotten distracted getting ready for my day......PC went to screen saver and I forgot all about it. Now it's set for an hour and I see what's open all the time......but fuck that was a close call.

This is why I use the virtual machine. Even if I forget to close the remote session I have remote access into my PC from work so i can log in remotely and close it. Too many incidents with other shit and my gf being a bit jealous and snooping through my browser shit.

fairemily · Feb 7, 2014

Was it Chris Rock who said you always get caught by leaving evidence behind because your distracted after the fact, it was a reference to porn left in the video tape machine after carefully hiding his collection. My point is if you go through such irrational precautions prior your going to end up self incrimation by carelessness over one thing. I think the main philosophy on how not to get caught is always be cautious but not paraniod and think rationally. Guys that are too weary will rule out all the safe choices and only be left with risky ones.

mrtaiwan · Feb 8, 2014

Epic browser can be useful.

fairemily · Feb 8, 2014

When I have walked into a hotels I don't sneak around and try to slip by security, I walk to the desk and politely ask where is the curtosy phone and may I use it and call the room. Suspicious or guilty behavior is a big red flag, always act you belong where you are and are visiting a friend. When you try not hard not to be noticed it's normally the best way to attract unwanted attention. The reason I'm writing this is because I read the horrendous LI bust was partially initiated by the hotels complaining, I'm sure they didn't appreciate all the guilty faces and sneaking around, it's always better to act natural even if you are nervous on the inside. Hotel traffic is normal, large groups of people acting suspiuos or guilty is not.

sexpert · Feb 17, 2014

vince-10001 said:

Distractions are the number one thing that gets us caught, especially on the PCs. Same shit happened to me TWICE! First time I was on my secret Yahoo chat account (when Yahoo Chat) existed, she saw it , I shut it off and just denied everything. She was on me for a month straight, I just kept denying it and saying it was a popup window from a site.

2nd one was the worst, it was my electro mail I use for playing, I have all the numbers locked in the drafts, mongering buddies etc... The power went out and I was on my laptop, went straight to the basement to check, came back up and then saw the SO staring at my screen, I knew I was fucked, luckily she didn't touch anything, didn't see the name was different than my regular and saw something sexual. I asked her what she was doing nonchalantly, I was like, fuck, "spam again? no I don't need to meet a cheating wife or a nice escort" and clicked it off. SO was on high alert for another month.

nyc_sw_monger · Mar 30, 2014

Wow. I have been mongering for the past 15 years of my 17 year marriage. Started when my wife started with holding sex. I have fucked hundreds of girls over the years and tonight I learned that my wife is having an affair because she was dump enough to let the family know her unlock code to her phone and never deleted any txt messages. Rookie mistake. Thank goodness I did not devote myself to her emotionally over the years. Since I make a lot more money then her and we have young kids, " it is cheaper to keep her!" Not moving out or paying child support so some other guy can come fuck her in my house!!!! I will play dump and fuck her like any one of my other adventures without feeling guilty about it. Hopefully the other guy will take her off my hands after after kids grow up....LOL

Li631 · Mar 30, 2014

Nyc sw... Sucks man i feel your pain. I caught my wife after many years of the "ton of bricks" falling on me.
Yes it is cheaper to keep her and all that is said. I recently tried the legal way and the fact she will not just go away means i must wait. And play.
I caught her years ago and didnt stray for 8-9 years then found the hobby to be my fun time.
Good luck and keep your chin up. My goal is my childs HS graduation plus a day (dont want to ruin the day). It sounds stupid but it is a small but ever shining light at the end of the tunnel

Banacek · Mar 31, 2014

Li631 said:

I thought child support payments are required until the child turns 21 in New York State.

Li631 · Mar 31, 2014

Sorry if this dupes banacek...
I will support my child 100% but just the thought of giving her $$$ for it is reason enough for this guy
Call me vindictive but i cant and wont