The death of any illusions about my sanity
- Thread starter justme
- Start date
- Status
- Not open for further replies.
Love or Desire, Trust or Control
Is the significant downside that has been discussed associated with pursuing a healthy relationship (of the significant other type) with a provider really a result of the fact that the person is a provider, or perhaps is it the result of not seeking a healthy relationship? While there are particular challenges unique to a relationship with a provider it seems like much of the downside is associated with the fact that the seekers perspective on, and motivation for, pursuing the relationship are not coming from a place which is compatible with a healthy relationship.
To be considered healthy a relationship needs to be composed of two individuals. A relationship that requires one of the partners to subjugate his or her judgment and/or will to the other doesn’t meet this criterion. Such a relationship of two individuals requires that each partner have both trust and love for the other.
Each partner must trust that the other, operating as an individual, has the ability and will to make correct choices for their own life. This requires that they see in the other not only the ability to perceive alternatives, and the consequences of those alternatives, but also enough self esteem to choose the alternatives which are in their best interest.
And each partner must have enough love for the other that they are able and willing to put the other’s interest on a par with their own.
If these qualities are present, while the odds of the relationship flourishing may not change, the consequences of it not doing so will not be so adverse or painful. If these qualities are not present the relationship is doomed to failure and it has nothing to do with the fact that one of the partners is a provider.
Is the significant downside that has been discussed associated with pursuing a healthy relationship (of the significant other type) with a provider really a result of the fact that the person is a provider, or perhaps is it the result of not seeking a healthy relationship? While there are particular challenges unique to a relationship with a provider it seems like much of the downside is associated with the fact that the seekers perspective on, and motivation for, pursuing the relationship are not coming from a place which is compatible with a healthy relationship.
To be considered healthy a relationship needs to be composed of two individuals. A relationship that requires one of the partners to subjugate his or her judgment and/or will to the other doesn’t meet this criterion. Such a relationship of two individuals requires that each partner have both trust and love for the other.
Each partner must trust that the other, operating as an individual, has the ability and will to make correct choices for their own life. This requires that they see in the other not only the ability to perceive alternatives, and the consequences of those alternatives, but also enough self esteem to choose the alternatives which are in their best interest.
And each partner must have enough love for the other that they are able and willing to put the other’s interest on a par with their own.
If these qualities are present, while the odds of the relationship flourishing may not change, the consequences of it not doing so will not be so adverse or painful. If these qualities are not present the relationship is doomed to failure and it has nothing to do with the fact that one of the partners is a provider.
Re: Re: Re: Judge Crater Pierces the Void in an Anti-Matter Expirement: Update
(I've discovered that Edna and Marta have a way with children. After we came back from mass, Edna and Marta gave my daughter and her friends instructions on how to put on a condom without using their hands. This caused literally hours of giggles, and will be most helpful to them when they begin dating in earnest.)
(Rolf too seems to have a way with the little ones. When my son and his friend were arguing over who was going to play with Thomas the Really Useful Engine, Rolf injected them both with heroin. That stopped the dispute with no tears. My son and his friend looked really cute in the RayBans Rolf put on them. They slept for hours.)
(Rolf has all the makings of a fine father. I can tell. Maybe he and Marta will get married so that we can have a triple ceremony. I feel as if he were my younger brother in some strange way. I would like to help him.)
(Mrs. Henderson next door solved Marta's and Rolf's problem about where to find drugs in the suburbs. She drove down to her cleaning lady's neighborhood in the next town and just yelled out the window. Rolf spent a few hours over at her house entertaining her. Much to her suprise, she found out that Rolf's penis has a tatto of Marlene Deitrich in a gorilla suit. When he gets erect, the head comes off. Mrs. Henderson's been lonely these past few years since Mr. Henderson died. Poor old girl.)
(This afternoon, we all went to the town street fair. Edna, Marta and my wife set up an incall location next to the face painting booth. It was one of the most popular attractions. At the close of the fair, Edna and Marta led the crowd in a naked line dance while the Macarena played in the background.)
(Edna also wants to breed horses and large dogs. There's something so wholesome about her. I know I'm doing the right thing.)
(I confessed to her that I felt a little mistrustful of her and was having her past looked into by a private investigator. She didn't hold it against me. She promised that she'd go see my private investigator first thing in the morning and provide him with any information he might need.)
(Edna confessed something to me too. She's never felt so comfortable in needing someone as she does with me. I feel proud of that.)
(My wife so enjoyed her little stint working incall today at the street fair that she wants to use the house tonight to gain more practice before the big event starts tomorrow. That means Rolf and I will have to sleep together on the fold out couch in the den. I hope he doesn't wet it. If he wants me again, that'll be okay too. I'll dry his eyes afterwards. Besides, it's good practice for the big event.)
(I'm off to Target now. I have to buy several crates of condoms and a 50 gallon drum of Astroglide.)
(My price will be $20 for each trick. My wife will get $30. Since their pros, Edna and Marta will each get $50 per trick. Less expenses for the stadium, our parish school and the diocese stand to raise quite a lot of money.)
(I am becoming a better person. More giving of myself.)
(We are one big happy family now.)
(I've discovered that Edna and Marta have a way with children. After we came back from mass, Edna and Marta gave my daughter and her friends instructions on how to put on a condom without using their hands. This caused literally hours of giggles, and will be most helpful to them when they begin dating in earnest.)
(Rolf too seems to have a way with the little ones. When my son and his friend were arguing over who was going to play with Thomas the Really Useful Engine, Rolf injected them both with heroin. That stopped the dispute with no tears. My son and his friend looked really cute in the RayBans Rolf put on them. They slept for hours.)
(Rolf has all the makings of a fine father. I can tell. Maybe he and Marta will get married so that we can have a triple ceremony. I feel as if he were my younger brother in some strange way. I would like to help him.)
(Mrs. Henderson next door solved Marta's and Rolf's problem about where to find drugs in the suburbs. She drove down to her cleaning lady's neighborhood in the next town and just yelled out the window. Rolf spent a few hours over at her house entertaining her. Much to her suprise, she found out that Rolf's penis has a tatto of Marlene Deitrich in a gorilla suit. When he gets erect, the head comes off. Mrs. Henderson's been lonely these past few years since Mr. Henderson died. Poor old girl.)
(This afternoon, we all went to the town street fair. Edna, Marta and my wife set up an incall location next to the face painting booth. It was one of the most popular attractions. At the close of the fair, Edna and Marta led the crowd in a naked line dance while the Macarena played in the background.)
(Edna also wants to breed horses and large dogs. There's something so wholesome about her. I know I'm doing the right thing.)
(I confessed to her that I felt a little mistrustful of her and was having her past looked into by a private investigator. She didn't hold it against me. She promised that she'd go see my private investigator first thing in the morning and provide him with any information he might need.)
(Edna confessed something to me too. She's never felt so comfortable in needing someone as she does with me. I feel proud of that.)
(My wife so enjoyed her little stint working incall today at the street fair that she wants to use the house tonight to gain more practice before the big event starts tomorrow. That means Rolf and I will have to sleep together on the fold out couch in the den. I hope he doesn't wet it. If he wants me again, that'll be okay too. I'll dry his eyes afterwards. Besides, it's good practice for the big event.)
(I'm off to Target now. I have to buy several crates of condoms and a 50 gallon drum of Astroglide.)
(My price will be $20 for each trick. My wife will get $30. Since their pros, Edna and Marta will each get $50 per trick. Less expenses for the stadium, our parish school and the diocese stand to raise quite a lot of money.)
(I am becoming a better person. More giving of myself.)
(We are one big happy family now.)
Originally posted by buddyyy
I know that I don't usually (actually I only did once but that was by accident) tell the women I'm with my real name. I do have layers of other names I use based on our degree of intimacy but that is a different story.
...
It strikes me as really sad if Mr. SG experienced so much love for and pain as a result of a relationship with a person he only knew as Trixie (or whatever.)
I know that I don't usually (actually I only did once but that was by accident) tell the women I'm with my real name. I do have layers of other names I use based on our degree of intimacy but that is a different story.
...
It strikes me as really sad if Mr. SG experienced so much love for and pain as a result of a relationship with a person he only knew as Trixie (or whatever.)
Yeah.
Originally posted by h. von bingen
do you think these are unrelated? if you go forth in great joy, you will reap great joy. (i swear it!)
do you think these are unrelated? if you go forth in great joy, you will reap great joy. (i swear it!)
Originally posted by donquixote04
I wonder if it is easier to read a person through the ambiguity of lies, or through the ambiguity of a cultural and language gulf of the sort jm faced with Kimmie.
I wonder if it is easier to read a person through the ambiguity of lies, or through the ambiguity of a cultural and language gulf of the sort jm faced with Kimmie.
Originally posted by buddyyy
Interesting
Interesting
But that isn't what I meant about reality being an obstacle. In a sense, I meant the opposite, namely that if I wanted to continue with my happiny bliss, I was going to have to (soon) begin to work out some of the obstacles that were very real at the time - language barrier / cultural differneces/ jealousy issues/ etc.
Last edited:
Originally posted by justme
I don't have a hard time with someone else paying a friend for sex.
I have a hard time with me doing it. Or, more precisely, I have a hard time with the idea.
I haven't paid Gina (my hostess bar 'friend') for sex in a long time. I stopped paying her about the time I started getting advice from her.
Maybe I should stop in and see how paying her for sex would go.
I don't have a hard time with someone else paying a friend for sex.
I have a hard time with me doing it. Or, more precisely, I have a hard time with the idea.
I haven't paid Gina (my hostess bar 'friend') for sex in a long time. I stopped paying her about the time I started getting advice from her.
Maybe I should stop in and see how paying her for sex would go.
Originally posted by justme
OF COURSE I'M A HYPOCRITE
OF COURSE I'M A HYPOCRITE
I don't think these two posts point to hypocrisy; I think they point to growth.
I'd probably take issue with the inference of the first post that there is such a thing as objective reality, but hey that's me.
Last edited:
- Status
- Not open for further replies.