Hooking up with the cleaning lady...

[eros701]

I had a neighbor who claimed his cleaning lady would blow him when she was done with her work. I don't know what she looked like or anything.

 

[lostmypants]

Don't know if this belongs in this section but a friend of mine recomended his cleaning lady for me to clean my house. I called her up and made an appointment for a Saturday as I wanted to be home and see how good a job she would do. Well this drop dead georgeous twenty something year old shows up at my house and as she starts cleaning I can't help staring at her beautiful body. After some small talk I was able to convince her to take off some of her clothes and clean that way for some extra $$$. Well one thing led to another and she wound up polishing my knob. I wanted to make this a monthly thing but when I called her back after a month for an apointment she said she doesn't clean houses any more and got a real job. Best part of the story is that my friend was trying to nail her for months and didn't get anywhere, and I still can't find a hot cleaning lady

 

[Gavvy Cravath]

lostmypants! You gotta love this story. Nicely done...

 

[lostmypants]

Thanks Gav, gotta say she left some high standards for cleaning ladys

 

[Axe]

I wanted to make this a monthly thing but when I called her back after a month for an apointment she said she doesn't clean houses any more and got a real job.

I dont get her response to you at all. When you called her, you werent interested in having her clean your house. If her original job was to clean your house and she banged you 'on the side', well then she can do the same with the 'real job' she has now and bang you on the side again. Right?

 

[lostmypants]

I dont get her response to you at all. When you called her, you werent interested in having her clean your house. If her original job was to clean your house and she banged you 'on the side', well then she can do the same with the 'real job' she has now and bang you on the side again. Right?

I didn't get it either, maybe she had a boyfriend, who knows, maybe it was a ethics/money thing. I think at the time I was more disapointed and didn't think to go in to more details. I just chalked it up to a great experience.

 

[DaveNJ]

It might be that her new job pays better, so she doesn't need the extra $$

 

[Gavvy Cravath]

Argh, the fucking cleaning lady...

Well, I don't use the oven that much being a single guy and all. But I was just about to heat up some lasagna that my mother made for Thanksgiving (I am alergic to turkey). I preheated the oven and then went online to finish up some paperwork. Within minutes, the whole house is filled with smoke and a smell of burning plastic. What the fuck?!?!

I open up the oven and there is this strange melted brown substance on the botton. It looks like melted icecream. And I am kind of freaked. I thought I miht have broiled a mouse! Then I looked up at the top rack of the oven. The cleaning lady put my arepa grill in there as storage and the handle melted. Fuck.

I know people store pots and pans in the oven, but I never do. And there is my arepa grill in the oven, now it's useless. And the house reeks of plastic and I can't heat up the lasagna.

Why would she put that in the oven? What if I wanted to heat up arepa and couldn't find the grill? Man, I love the cleaning lady...but this kind of pissed me off.

Fuck.
Gavy

 

[fumpton]

the good thing is nothing else was damaged and your house didn't burn down. Do you have smoke detectors installed?

 

[DaveNJ]

Well, I don't use the oven that much being a single guy and all. But I was just about to heat up some lasagna that my mother made for Thanksgiving (I am alergic to turkey). I preheated the oven and then went online to finish up some paperwork. Within minutes, the whole house is filled with smoke and a smell of burning plastic. What the fuck?!?!

I open up the oven and there is this strange melted brown substance on the botton. It looks like melted icecream. And I am kind of freaked. I thought I miht have broiled a mouse! Then I looked up at the top rack of the oven. The cleaning lady put my arepa grill in there as storage and the handle melted. Fuck.

I know people store pots and pans in the oven, but I never do. And there is my arepa grill in the oven, now it's useless. And the house reeks of plastic and I can't heat up the lasagna.

Why would she put that in the oven? What if I wanted to heat up arepa and couldn't find the grill? Man, I love the cleaning lady...but this kind of pissed me off.

Fuck.
Gavy

You think that's bad, the hot l'il Mexicana cleaning lady my folks use has been MIA for a while, she and her manager just disappeared off the face of the earth.

I just saw the new cleaning lady last week, and she's definitely not an acceptable replacement. She's older, she's heavier, and she's not latina. I'm not happy.

 

[Gavvy Cravath]

the good thing is nothing else was damaged and your house didn't burn down. Do you have smoke detectors installed?

You are right. Where would the little dogs and cat have gone? It could have been worse. I really am not pissed at her, just can't figure out where she puts things half the time. And she doesn't tell me where she puts it. I was looking for a nail clipper for a week in my house before I finally broke down and went and bought two. I have no idea where she puts this stuff...

Gavy

 

[Gavvy Cravath]

I just saw the new cleaning lady last week, and she's definitely not an acceptable replacement. She's older, she's heavier, and she's not latina. I'm not happy.

Completely unacceptable...

...but my cleaning lady brought her thinner and younger sister last week. She is here tomorrow, I'll check her out again.

Gavy

 

[DaveNJ]

Nice. Just make sure you don't text her [sfsf]

 

[marcinny]

Hahahahaha, Dave, your sense of humor is very underrated.

 

[marcinny]

Gavy, fumpton is right. It could have gone much worse. You should say her something, at least when her young sister leaves.

 

[DaveNJ]

Hahahahaha, Dave, your sense of humor is very underrated.

Thanks, it works out better for me that way. Easier to surpass expectations.

 

[Axe]

And there is my arepa grill in the oven, now it's useless. And the house reeks of plastic and I can't heat up the lasagna.
Gavy

I guess this means you dont want to fuck her?

 

[justlooking]

Hahahahaha, Dave, your sense of humor is very underrated.

I think Dave is fucking hilarious.

 

[justlooking]

You are right. Where would the little dogs and cat have gone? It could have been worse. I really am not pissed at her, just can't figure out where she puts things half the time. And she doesn't tell me where she puts it. I was looking for a nail clipper for a week in my house before I finally broke down and went and bought two. I have no idea where she puts this stuff...

Gavy

The whole purpose of cleaning ladies is to put your stuff places where you can't find it.

It's what they live for.

 

[Thorn]

Cleaning ladies...

Ah to be one of the privileged.