Have you got "game"

R

RuffToy

#1
#1
There are guys who get it and there are guys who simply don't have a clue. I see it constantly and according to the multitude of ladies I talk to, the majority of the guys don't get it.

Game is not a condition reserved for the best looking guys, in fact many good looking guys are clueless how to deal with the ladies. Tall, short, fat, slim, rich or poor...has nothing to do with whether or not you've got game.

So I thought I'd start a thread to discuss this issue. In no particular order, here's some of my thoughts about having "game".

- Game is an inner aura that one either emanates or doesn't. It's the way you feel about yourself that subtly transmits information about your sexuality. The key is confidence. Without it, you've got nothing. And you will be hard pressed to attract quality ladies.

- Excellent perception through first impression. (The Disney employee motto.....simple and brilliant)

- Humor and lightheartedness. Don't try to be a stand-up comic but keep conservations light and humorous. This brings on a smile from the lady and yourself. This is very attractive trait.

- When you engage a lady in conversation, stay focused on her. Look into her eyes when she speaks to you and when you speak to her. Don't let your eyes wander and become distracted when another attractive lady is nearby.

- When you eyeball a lady that you are considering approaching, say in a bar or club, never assume she's available. Unless you're sure she's not with another guy, I recommend making sure she's free to talk before you barge ahead. "Hi, would I be stepping on anyone's toes if I offered to buy you a drink?"

- Don't try to impress. Never discuss your money or possessions. It makes you look like a tool.

- Subtlety is the best approach. Don't fawn all over her. A carefully executed compliment goes a long way, but keep it real and don't grovel.

- Stay calm. Don't put any undue expectations on the conversation. The goal is to make yourself attractive to her in many ways.

- Trust your instincts. If you pick up a negative vibe from her or think she's trying to lose you...tell her it was nice chatting and excuse yourself.

- Always be a gentleman. Don't talk negatively about someone even if she doesn't know who you're referring to. It sets a negative vibe. Never discuss politics. Never argue to make a point.

- If the energy between you two is right (and you will feel it), a gentle touch on her arm or shoulder when you're making a point can be extremely electric.



These are just a few of my thoughts. Feel free to chime in.
 
S

stevana

#2
#2
Yikes! This surely puts pressure on us RuffToy. But if one responds with a self assessment or not, you have certainly given all of us something to think about along with some detailed guidance for doing that. Thank you.
 
garvin_fred

garvin_fred

#3
#3
Great post, RT. I agree. I find success too by only talking to her about her. Women like attention so I give her 100% focus. I personally have witnessed guys going on and on about themselves, almost like a monologue and the ladies hate it. I used to do that in my younger days, but you learn about what works and what doesn't. Be really into what she is saying and occasionally make a short comment agreeing with her or complimenting her. Make her feel like she is the only one in the room. And if you need to, learn how to fake sincerity, lol.
 
R

RuffToy

#4
#4
It's a topic worthwhile of discussion and inspired by:

Bandaid said:
There's a big division in the hobby: guys who love the chase and guys who hate it. I always hated it, b/c I'm no good at it and never was successful at it.
Click to expand...
Bandaid said:
...There's lots of guys, like me, who were never able to get np4p...
Click to expand...
marcinny said:
I was good at it, a few years ago. I think I will always remain a seducer, although I am not stud type. Whenever I am near a woman, I am busy seducing her. At work, in the park, in the subway, everywhere. I am a complete dog...
Click to expand...
 
R

RuffToy

#5
#5
You have to remember, women are extremely perceptive. Never underestimate their abilities to read clearly. Be yourself. You want the lady to become attracted to who you really are, not a role you're playing.
 
R

RuffToy

#6
#6
RuffToy said:
- Trust your instincts. If you pick up a negative vibe from her or think she's trying to lose you...tell her it was nice chatting and excuse yourself.
Click to expand...
Conversely, if you pick up positive vibes, if she shows strong interest in you, if she's green lighting your attention. Move ahead slowly and deliberately and take charge. Women love a man in control.
 
R

Ruv Me Rong Time!!

#7
#7
I might also add.

-- Always be in the game. You never know when opportunity is going to knock. You better be at the door when it happens.

-- The Rule of 40 -- it takes 40 "no's" to get one "yes fuck me now" if your not out there getting your "no's" then your not playing the game.

-- Would James Bond do/say this? -- if the answer is no ...
 
R

RuffToy

#10
#10
BTW, it's important to note that there are times when your game is off. You simply are not in the zone on a particular evening. If you're not feeling it, it's OK. Just recognize it & take it easy. Perhaps a martini will ignite your game. If not, enjoy the evening anyway.
 
Thorn

Thorn

#11
#11
In my own experience I found that the age of the women you are dealing with matters.

When I was a very young fellow [late high school till around 22 or so] I had many, many, female friends [still do actually] but few dates. I was the "big brother they never had" to more beautiful women than I could count.

The issue was that I kept falling into the "nice" category. They'd spend hours with me sharing stories about the bastards they were dating. Telling me they wish they could find someone nice. I'd mention they didn't seem to have any problem hanging out with me and that I was nice, only to get the old, "You are a really nice guy "Thorn".

The kiss of death.

Long story short I figured out that the common thread that ran through all these "bastards" getting the ladies and my being filed under friend was that these guys were almost always pricks. It was the "bad boy" attraction thing, and my lack of same, that appeared to be the issue.

So as I moved to my later college years I tarted up, grew an '70's porno mustache, and strapped a Harley on between my legs. While not becoming a complete asshole I gave myself just enough "edgy" to make myself a bit of a bad boy. I became cocky without stepping over into arrogant. I stopped caring about dating and just enjoyed the company of women. If they wanted to go out, fine. If not, fine. The change of attitude helped considerably. Young women don't seem to find men who make it obvious that they find them desirable attractive. They prefer men who project a "I couldn't care less if you'd date me.", attitude.

Becoming a cop later on didn't hurt.

Now, as I get older, I find women my own age don't have the same attitude. They've apparently learned that you can't take a sow's ear and turn it into a silk purse. They have a greater appreciation for a "nice guy".

Funny how that works.

Either way it helps to be humorous. Women seem to like guys who can make them laugh. Cocky and funny seems to work fairly well.
 
S

superwoman01

#12
#12
Great post RT! From a ladies perspective--I guy who is charming and can make me laugh--regardless of looks--has a better chance of getting to know me—Now if the sex is not good—well he is not a keeper regardless of his game! Just my opinion!
Now --As for the women having game--I am not considered a spinner but I am a very confident woman & it shows through in all that I do. Plus I am very down to earth, kind hearted and love to laugh, smile and live life. I find that all these qualities make it quite easy to meet people. I meet guys know matter if I am in the grocery store, the office or a lounge. The funny thing is that I meet gentleman of different ages—of course I prefer to meet someone who is not the same age as my children! IKES.

When someone makes eye contact-I look right back at him or her and smile. Now they may be looking at my boobs and not my face--who knows! LOL!

Great reading--I really like this thread.
 
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R

RuffToy

#13
#13
superwoman01 said:
..When someone makes eye contact-I look right back at him or her and smile...
Click to expand...
This point cannot be stressed enough. Eye contact, as SW & I have mentioned, is a deal maker or breaker. Short story. Many years ago I was sitting at the lobby bar at the MGM Grand in LV with friends. Across the bar there were two ladies hanging. One of them was looking directly at me. Our eyes met and locked together for many seconds. Everything, and I mean everything was communicated in those few seconds from across the bar. She and I had an incredible evening together which lasted until the next morning when her flight was leaving.

The point is that many people, and I'm sure SW can attest to this, get intimidated by eye contact and look away. Imagine all the lost opportunities from a split second of inattention, indecision or lack of confidence.
 
A

Axe

#15
#15
Unfortunately, I dont think it's possible for the guys who dont have it to somehow 'learn' it. However, some guys develop an MO that can make up for it. Case in point: a friend of mine lives in a college town with lots of "Bohemian" chicks. Easy pickins! No game necessary.
 
A

Axe

#20
#20
I have a few friends (like the one I mentioned) who I've known for years and they dont have it and they never will. It doesnt mean they dont score ass. It just means they score through some other path of least resistance that doesnt involve having game. They dont go to bars, SCs, or any of the other meat-market kinds of places. They do hook up with some weird-ass chicks, though. But, they do get laid.
 
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