Have you got "game"
- Thread starter RuffToy
- Start date
Also...
...you don't have "no game' but more-so "little game" Since you made remarks about how
"Virtually all my Non P4P action has been a result of women coming on to me"...this means you HAVE game but as you say need practice, and as RT said need "steerage" as to how to develop your game ie.
1. recognize it.
2. Know when to take action on it. (maybe not with the rental woman, as it may or may not be too close to home, but with one of these other women came on to you under a better circumstance)
3. Know how to take action on it
I say this and encourage you as I am in a VERY similar boat right now and while the waves(rejection and mistakes in choice) make for a rocky ride, it is exciting none the less.
...you don't have "no game' but more-so "little game" Since you made remarks about how
"Virtually all my Non P4P action has been a result of women coming on to me"...this means you HAVE game but as you say need practice, and as RT said need "steerage" as to how to develop your game ie.
1. recognize it.
2. Know when to take action on it. (maybe not with the rental woman, as it may or may not be too close to home, but with one of these other women came on to you under a better circumstance)
3. Know how to take action on it
I say this and encourage you as I am in a VERY similar boat right now and while the waves(rejection and mistakes in choice) make for a rocky ride, it is exciting none the less.
DITTOE that!
...most recently.
1. Just being a good guy and helping a group of women with a car issue...1 of them thought I was "sweet and Hot". This was at the end of a very long day in a shirt and tie but a very dishevelled a tired shirt and tie look. And the funny thing is I am the type who would have helped them no matter what they're age / gender or looks were(later she said she recognized that in me).
2. I initiated it sort of...Gave a woman my free scratch off ticket while at the carwash as a thank you for her giving me some directions, Saying here you try I'm not that lucky. Her response was "well what if I win"..I said it's yours..to which she said "I couldn't take it like that without sharing". So she scratched it on the spot and it was a loser(Shock), and walked out the door...oh well, that's over...UH UH! I walked outside a good 3-5 minutes later to hear a honking horn, turn around and there she is looking at me in her rear view mirror. Waves me to her and hands me a pice of paper with her # on it.....We shall see?
...most recently.
1. Just being a good guy and helping a group of women with a car issue...1 of them thought I was "sweet and Hot". This was at the end of a very long day in a shirt and tie but a very dishevelled a tired shirt and tie look. And the funny thing is I am the type who would have helped them no matter what they're age / gender or looks were(later she said she recognized that in me).
2. I initiated it sort of...Gave a woman my free scratch off ticket while at the carwash as a thank you for her giving me some directions, Saying here you try I'm not that lucky. Her response was "well what if I win"..I said it's yours..to which she said "I couldn't take it like that without sharing". So she scratched it on the spot and it was a loser(Shock), and walked out the door...oh well, that's over...UH UH! I walked outside a good 3-5 minutes later to hear a honking horn, turn around and there she is looking at me in her rear view mirror. Waves me to her and hands me a pice of paper with her # on it.....We shall see?
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Whatever you may think about yourself, it's apparent you have something that attracts women to you. Perhaps your looks, your style, your personality...but you have something more than many others. That alone should boost your confidence.
Before you go plunging into the deep water with Car Rental Lady, ask yourself what do you really want here and what do you think she wants from you. It's obvious she's aware you have a SO, so she knows that dating may be out of the picture. She's most likely sexually attracted to you, but how far will she go is the question. Is she in a relationship? Is she just being professional with you as a long time customer? Is she flirtatious?
If your dealings with her are strictly over the counter with little chance of physical contact per billyS suggestion, use your smile and body language to communicate. Stay relaxed, keep eye contact even when she isn't looking directly at you, she will "feel" your eyes on her. Smile often, but not like a metal patient. And when the transaction is over you may want to say something like "I greatly appreciate the incredible personal service you always give me. I always look forward to coming back and dealing with you only. I would love to buy you a cup of coffee sometime." Gauge her reaction to your offer, this will tell you everything you need to know. If she says:
a) "That's really nice but I never get a break from this place" She's just being a great employee for the company and has no interest in you.
b) "Perhaps next time you come in, I'll take you up on it" Options remain open but it may still be platonic interest.
c) "Sure" Then you find out her general availability and set something up at that moment.
d) "I don't drink coffee but I eat dinner". Set it up and bring condoms.
Of course, I'm over simplifying it, but I think you get the hint. Remember, she already likes you. Now you have to investigate & capitalize on her interest.
Before you go plunging into the deep water with Car Rental Lady, ask yourself what do you really want here and what do you think she wants from you. It's obvious she's aware you have a SO, so she knows that dating may be out of the picture. She's most likely sexually attracted to you, but how far will she go is the question. Is she in a relationship? Is she just being professional with you as a long time customer? Is she flirtatious?
If your dealings with her are strictly over the counter with little chance of physical contact per billyS suggestion, use your smile and body language to communicate. Stay relaxed, keep eye contact even when she isn't looking directly at you, she will "feel" your eyes on her. Smile often, but not like a metal patient. And when the transaction is over you may want to say something like "I greatly appreciate the incredible personal service you always give me. I always look forward to coming back and dealing with you only. I would love to buy you a cup of coffee sometime." Gauge her reaction to your offer, this will tell you everything you need to know. If she says:
a) "That's really nice but I never get a break from this place" She's just being a great employee for the company and has no interest in you.
b) "Perhaps next time you come in, I'll take you up on it" Options remain open but it may still be platonic interest.
c) "Sure" Then you find out her general availability and set something up at that moment.
d) "I don't drink coffee but I eat dinner". Set it up and bring condoms.
Of course, I'm over simplifying it, but I think you get the hint. Remember, she already likes you. Now you have to investigate & capitalize on her interest.
Thanks for all the feedback... I said I had little or no game ( but I'm not clueless ). I have been able to capitalize on situations in the past where I had very overt indications that the girl was into me.. so it wasn't really putting much on the line ( low/no chance of rejection). However, I have an under-developed skill for pulling in women that give you that more subtle sign.. Car rental girl is being fairly overt given the public nature of our interactions.. When she asked to switch to take care of me, I got an immediate hard-on and the vibes were strong. This women only occassionally handles customers herself. At the least, she like to flirt w/ me. I really like the idea of trying for some subtle physical contact ( the arm touch ). I think this could really be a highly charged physical thing... and hoping she's up for that.. She isn't a kid ( early 30's ) so I'm doubtful that its just too be flirty... I will be cool.. and re-read the advice from this community... Thanks again
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NewGuy --
Roughtoy has a good approach. I doubt that your going to get the opportunity for the physical contact thing though. If she ever has to ask you for your phone number for the car rental thing you might follow up by saying it would only be fair for you to have her number as well. I suspect thought that all that info is already in there system since you are a regular. Maybe as your renting your next car you could say, "Ive been coming in here for months renting these cars with absolutely no use for them just so that i could see you." and then just follow it from there... its a little cheesy but humor goes along way.
Roughtoy has a good approach. I doubt that your going to get the opportunity for the physical contact thing though. If she ever has to ask you for your phone number for the car rental thing you might follow up by saying it would only be fair for you to have her number as well. I suspect thought that all that info is already in there system since you are a regular. Maybe as your renting your next car you could say, "Ive been coming in here for months renting these cars with absolutely no use for them just so that i could see you." and then just follow it from there... its a little cheesy but humor goes along way.
of course the last time i was there, she was not... she is not generally a behind the counter type employee.. she seem to be making sure the logistics of the place are working.. lots of cars in a relatively small space. Therfore, I'm as likely to see her in the open garage area as behind the counter ( so a touch is possible ). I have thought about the amount of info. she could potentialy access about me ( even work info. as I have a corp. discount and that's a little worrisome ). I will have to play carefully -- and see if fate deals me the cards. Actually in a very happy p4p situation right now that makes me smile.. and when I'm at the rental car place, I'm generally not trying.. so there you go...
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I like that.. it actually cracked me up. Your flirting (hitting) on her but in a very carefree way and she can do nothing but laugh and say you know.. that guy is alright... the best part, the next move is hers.. you put it out there and now she can A) Make a move then B) Lull it over and make a move next time you come in C) Nothing happens and you made her think you are a good guy and you put yourself out there in a joking manner that left the next move to her so you can come in the next week with your wife and have no worries since you didnt actually hit on her directly, so to say ....
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Nada -- sorry to say --- She wasn't visable to me for a while and when she was at the desk, seemed distracted. Finally, had a one on one ( still fairly public ) at the desk and she was still friendly, but the "spark" wasn't there.
I also was having second thoughts as I occassionally show up there w/ my SO and that had the potential to get ugly if my Latina was as hot-blooded as I had hoped she could be ( sorry if the stero-typing offends anyone ). : )
Been busy with current fav. and working out caring a little too much about a certain professional -- in other words, cutivating some distance -- and some new talent has been the best "cure"... Sorry no juicy story about getting head in the back of an Explorer, but we can still dream.
I also was having second thoughts as I occassionally show up there w/ my SO and that had the potential to get ugly if my Latina was as hot-blooded as I had hoped she could be ( sorry if the stero-typing offends anyone ). : )
Been busy with current fav. and working out caring a little too much about a certain professional -- in other words, cutivating some distance -- and some new talent has been the best "cure"... Sorry no juicy story about getting head in the back of an Explorer, but we can still dream.
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OK - new situation.. cute asian girl working at a holiday booth in Manhattan.. I chatted her up several days ago and returned Friday and purchased a present for my SO. She was quite sexy in modeling the jewelery for me - quite a flirt.. I let it drop that I was married but in the discussion also mentioned I had also bought a present for another lady friend. She had a slight raised eyebrow -- but still felt some real chemistry. She noted my name ( from cc card ) and started to use it in a familair fashion.. On leaving I said I would need to make a new excuse to come and flirt w. her.
Showed up today after work and saw that she was working her magic on 2 other guys,, she can sell -- her flirty nature is a little magnetic.. I was a short distance away & watched while I made a call or 2. At first I was put off by the display, thinking she does this w. everyone.. so you really don't have any game here. But decided, nothing ventured and walked over.. saying I saw her working her charms... She called me by my name and said she was wondering if I would drop by...and said she saw me nearby. Aside from a few misc. statements, i told her she was sexy & I would like to take her to lunch or something some time... She went on quietly about not wanting to get any calls from my wife.. so I said guess you don't want any drama ( me neither ) then asked for her number and she gave me her card and said she could go for a "friendly lunch or dinner"... Small victory here... I'm not a pro at this N4P stuff -- really very out of practice, but I could not resist... Easy for me to be bold w/ her... Wanted to set up the premise that I'm married but looking for fun... so I'm optimistic... Plan to drop my one more time b4 the stalls close on Xmas and then work on the 1st date in Jan. Any thoughts from the pros? Admit I'm unlikely to follow advice unless it rings true to my style... Frankly gloating a little here... Big deal for me at this point.. Important facts-- She is Korean but may be American born, or at least very western... perfect English, smart, sexy, arty -- my style in women. I know this could be trouble, but she feels cool & sexy... like she could take on a part time lover
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I did stop by one more time b4 Xmas and the girl was not alone in her booth and she ignored me. I decided to think she didn't want her store mate ( a guy ) to be in on the conversation, so I walked away. Today I sent an email to her and thought my chances were 50/50 at best and maybe she had reconsidered the idea of meeting up. I went to a mtg. at work and when i returned I had a message from her. Looks like there will be some logistical problems -- daytime good for me / night time best for her.. so told her I would work something out -- have been in a bit of a funk, so this is lifting my spirits -- but I need to proceed carefully to not arouse the SO's suspicions. She gave me her cell # and we spoke live -- she sounds careful and is working hard to sound like this is not that important to her -- but i think she protests to much--- she wants someone to pay attention to her.
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Fwiiw, from the IP onward this whole thread is full of bad or, at best, mediocre advice imo.
As I see it, the problem is the fundamental perspective. Namely the whole discussion is based on a bunch of generalizations about women, what they like and don't like, and about their interactions with men. Within this framework, the advice is probably pretty good, but the whole approach is a terribly limited and flawed one imo and experience.
Put in a different way, life is incredibly complex. People, and certainly women, are among its most complex components. Interactions between people are even more complex than individuals. Sex, and surely romance, are among the most complex and subtle of human interactions. Dealing with such complexity is so daunting and challenging that people understandably have the urge to fall back on some simple system/recipe/algorithm. If nothing else, it makes for less effort and stress. But using a simple solution does not make a hard problem easier; it just means that you do a poor job of solving it. In yet other words, human relationships are simply not the equivalent of baking a cake; they are no place for blindly following recipes; they are not even a good place for following recipes creatively. Better to throw out the cookbook entirely.
All this is not to deny that following all these rules/principles of "game" etc can sometimes get you layed. It surely can, but imo it will equally surely deny you access to the full potential and richness of relationships with women.
Btw, I'd say exactly the same thing about other important human relationships, e.g., parenting or friendship. Don't imagine that you can find the best approach by reading a book or following some simple set of principles. It just ain't that simple, no matter how much one pretends or wishes it were.
-Ww
As I see it, the problem is the fundamental perspective. Namely the whole discussion is based on a bunch of generalizations about women, what they like and don't like, and about their interactions with men. Within this framework, the advice is probably pretty good, but the whole approach is a terribly limited and flawed one imo and experience.
Put in a different way, life is incredibly complex. People, and certainly women, are among its most complex components. Interactions between people are even more complex than individuals. Sex, and surely romance, are among the most complex and subtle of human interactions. Dealing with such complexity is so daunting and challenging that people understandably have the urge to fall back on some simple system/recipe/algorithm. If nothing else, it makes for less effort and stress. But using a simple solution does not make a hard problem easier; it just means that you do a poor job of solving it. In yet other words, human relationships are simply not the equivalent of baking a cake; they are no place for blindly following recipes; they are not even a good place for following recipes creatively. Better to throw out the cookbook entirely.
All this is not to deny that following all these rules/principles of "game" etc can sometimes get you layed. It surely can, but imo it will equally surely deny you access to the full potential and richness of relationships with women.
Btw, I'd say exactly the same thing about other important human relationships, e.g., parenting or friendship. Don't imagine that you can find the best approach by reading a book or following some simple set of principles. It just ain't that simple, no matter how much one pretends or wishes it were.
-Ww
