Have you got "game"

A

Axe

#81
#81
Wwanderer said:
I don't disagree, but I also don't see what this has to do with my point/post.

-Ww
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It was the first thing that popped into my head when I read your post so it's probably only half a thought. The remaining half might be that even when we're aware of the issue with expectations you pointed out, we may not necessarily be looking to prevent it from becoming self-fulfilling.
 
Traderdave

Traderdave

#84
#84
Many years ago,I had a friend who would go to a club and hang out till the bitter end. He always met someone. I followed his advice and wound up going out for drinks and something to eat at 2 in the morning. The snow was falling and I was making out with her in the cab on the way to her house. It was a a magical New York type of evening. You can also go to a bar stake out a spot and do the same routine. It works. You may not get Megan Fox, but you will get something.
 
N

new guy

#87
#87
Per Axe: That's the paradox at the center of P4P. Does it matter if you have an SO or not? I dont know. I do know you want it to be good, but not that good. Then it slowly (or quickly) drifts in the direction of being that good. Now you're hooked and you've become delusional over how you feel about her. 'It's just P4P', you'll say to yourself.

This is EXACTLY my predicament -- but fortunately, sex with other women softens the pain and a week later, I'm pretty OK.
 
P

puffin

#88
#88
new guy said:
Per Axe: That's the paradox at the center of P4P. Does it matter if you have an SO or not? I dont know. I do know you want it to be good, but not that good. Then it slowly (or quickly) drifts in the direction of being that good. Now you're hooked and you've become delusional over how you feel about her. 'It's just P4P', you'll say to yourself.

This is EXACTLY my predicament -- but fortunately, sex with other women softens the pain and a week later, I'm pretty OK.
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I think your posts are why I put that poll up.
 
H

h4c

#89
#89
imho, y'all make this too complicated.

Simply take a yellow pad, draw a graph and determine what you want. Make one axis cheap dollars, the other emotional involvement and then plot how np4p and p4p chicks fit in for you. Usually, SW are at the bottom left with np4p affairs at the upper right.

Determine your comfort zone and then pursue your demographic. For me , its milfs on business trips, kinda in the middle, then trending up to the rght
 
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N

new guy

#90
#90
h4c -- your thoughts assume we all want to be in our comfort zone -- I kinda like to stretch mine from time to time -- do new things have new experiences..
 
N

new guy

#91
#91
back to the subject here: Np4p -- Well I finally had the first mtg. w/ the girl I had gotten a card from at the Xmas booths. And it was most likely the worst outcome. I really like her. We had lunch and went for a stroll w/ her clutching my arm. Got to say it felt like a million dollars. Got big pieces of her life story -- and I'm going to try and take this slow but I was charmed and dazzled ( and she seems to like me ). I feel like I'm in a fantasy (she is litterally 1/2 my age & completely adoreable). I'm also in a nightmare as I need to continue to juggle time slots and I KNOW if this keeps going I'm very likely to get spotted/caught.. The girl knows I'm married & seems to be thinking she can keep it light & fun... Bottom line is -- I can get sex fairly easily, but I'm playing this for rommance -- not what I expected, but apparantly what I need/want
 
N

new guy

#93
#93
3 dates and big trouble.. she is a bigger player than me.. sorry to stay vague, but my life is in major transition.... she was a change agent.. I might call her in a month or so..but i might not.. the kinda girl that hooks you but gives u a different story every time.. a very advanced dinner whore of sorts..
 
N

new guy

#95
#95
neither -- in a crazy/inspired/other-worldly moment I asked for the big D.. I just realized how unhappy I was with the status-quo... Even a dream of a better life was better than what I was living.. My SO said OK... so I have moved out and am working on an amicable settlement (if there is such a thing).

The freedom is nice, but it takes some getting used to...
 
B

bigsmoovvve

#98
#98
marcinny said:
I act familiar, I make them laugh (often in the way that the response is: "Oh my God you're bad"), I am also the guy who touches you. They may cut it right away and often show you the road, but if there is a chance, I am already past square one (I have touched her hair and arm in the first minutes). I don't put visible importance into it. I act as if I have known them for years.
See, first look might be important, but while I am not bad looking I don't pretend to win someone over just by exchanging looks. There is always a guy next to me who is taller and better looking. I need to be close, I need her to lend me an ear.
Of course, I am the gentleman. Holding doors, allowing them to go first, offering help etc. These are things that come natural to me, with a smile, charming. I often get the bs "you European guys are gentlemen." (not sure on this though - it could be a stupid cliche)

One thing I have to add and that deserves attention is that a good start, is important, but it is just that. I used to screw it up later, when I had almost guaranteed the deal. Distraction, wrong direction of the conversation, leaning on her to blow a loud fart (OK not this one, but it could be a funny way to lose her)...
Have you noticed sometimes that her eyes are not shining anymore, you feel she's loosing interest, you lost her at some point. Sometimes it is just an impression. You still have her, but it threatens your self-confidence, which is very very important (without being a pompous ass, self-confidence is key).
I believe I have always had the best results when I took the whole matter lightly. If you see it as if you have nothing to lose, it helps you come across much confident and attractive.
Now if you've not gotten laid for sometime, if you feel suddenly desperate to have it, chances are you are more prone to scare her away. But this should be common sense. As in everything else.

Finally, I believe that the ability to seduce women is part of the same talent and potential to seduce people in general. Not to have sex, but somehow to be likable, to make them want to socialize with you, make them become intimate, lower their barriers, share secrets with you and feel comfortable. Always avoiding the "nice guy" status of course that Thorn very rightly mentioned.
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Good Morning Guys,

I hope all is well with everyone. I have been on a hiatus (2yr relationship). it was good..learned alot bout myself and women in general. I am dating a new girl now not sure where its going but its great so far. IMHO, marcinny is spot on. Whether I am in the grocery store, bookstore, club, etc...I have a small of the back litmus test. First, let me describe myself I am 6-3 275 pound black man...babyface and very nonintimidating to WOMEN. What i do wen i meet a woman I want..is touch the small of the back. you may get a few responses...1. SHOCK...1A. Girl is suprised your touching her but responds pleasantly with a smile or moving closer(usual shock reaction) 1B. Moves away or knocks ur hand away (she may feel lil uncomfortable, playing hard to get or SHE's JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. 2. She gives you the look, moves closer ASAP or gives you a touch back...CLOSE after this whether it means make a date to meetup or go home and have monkey sex together. 3. No response (worst response) either she is accustomed to men doing this and is numb...She is smarter than we are. You blew your load so you might as well try her now. This women/men thing is truly a science. It has taken 35yrs for me to understand women even in the smallest way.

Sorry if I offended any women, but this is what romance means to us men. Thanks for listening guys and being my sounding board..much more to come.
 
Gavvy Cravath

Gavvy Cravath

Moderator Emeritus
#99
#99
bigsmoovvve said:
Good Morning Guys,

I hope all is well with everyone. I have been on a hiatus (2yr relationship). it was good..learned alot bout myself and women in general. I am dating a new girl now not sure where its going but its great so far. IMHO, marcinny is spot on. Whether I am in the grocery store, bookstore, club, etc...I have a small of the back litmus test. First, let me describe myself I am 6-3 275 pound black man...babyface and very nonintimidating to WOMEN. What i do wen i meet a woman I want..is touch the small of the back. you may get a few responses...1. SHOCK...1A. Girl is suprised your touching her but responds pleasantly with a smile or moving closer(usual shock reaction) 1B. Moves away or knocks ur hand away (she may feel lil uncomfortable, playing hard to get or SHE's JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. 2. She gives you the look, moves closer ASAP or gives you a touch back...CLOSE after this whether it means make a date to meetup or go home and have monkey sex together. 3. No response (worst response) either she is accustomed to men doing this and is numb...She is smarter than we are. You blew your load so you might as well try her now. This women/men thing is truly a science. It has taken 35yrs for me to understand women even in the smallest way.

Sorry if I offended any women, but this is what romance means to us men. Thanks for listening guys and being my sounding board..much more to come.
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Hmmmm...interesting. Inappropriate touching or smoothe move?
 
I

IRVINGTON29

#100
#100
I think tackling a bytch shows you love her. I use to do the Goldberg spear (Like the wrestler) and knock her on the bed. She would say "stop playing all the time".

Girl I will spear you again!
 
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