Stripper Chit-Chat II

J

Jag120

#61
#61
Psychotic Double Standard

The scene is a small sleazy bar shapped in a horseshoe. In the middle is a dance floor about 2 feet off the ground with two brass poles. The girls would dance to two songs, stripping down to nothing by the end of the song. Then they climb on the bar and crawl nude on all fours stopping at each customer. At each customer they bring their breasts close to your face, or sit back and spread their legs as they play with themselves...this is kinda like a lap dance only you're sitting on a stool and the girls are on the bar, naked in front of you. Well, as the girls do their thing, they periodically lean into you and push their breast together waiting for you to slide some ones or fives in. If you tip well, the girl would actually touch your nose with her boobs. If she liked you, she would pull your head in and smother you.

So, I'm there for the second night in a row, and this cute blond from Poland recognizes me from the previous night. She's all smiles and hugs. when it's time to be on the bar in front of me, she's just about killing me with my face smashed in her chest. Then she puts her legs over my shoulder and pushes her muff millimeters from my nose. I'm tipping like crazy(ones) and she even touches my nose with her muff lips. As she's about to leave, she leans in one more time, pulls my face between her boobs for a goodbye smother. I'm feeling pretty good, and I like her, so I kiss her between her boobs. She rears back, looking absolutely shocked, and says:

She: What are you some kind of pervert?!!
Me: What are you talking about?
She: Don't you know you're not allowed to touch me???
Me: Wha-a-t???
By now she's yelling so loud, the other girls stop dancing, and the bouncer is heading my way
She: Don't you ever touch me again!
Me: What are you nuts?
Bouncer: Hey, I'm calling the cops
Me: Are YOU nuts??? (he didn't appreciate this)
He grabs my arm and lifts me off the stool. Now, I'm 6'3" and 240, so this will give you an idea of his size and strength. Nevertheless, my Italian temper starts heating up, and I'm ready to do something stupid.
She: He touched me!
Me: She's rubbing herself all over me! All the girls do it. She's crazy!
Bouncer: I'm calling the cops
Me:(thinking) all right (my name), you can be right and have to explain to the wife you were arrested for fighting and molesting a stripper (insert end of marriage here), or you can eat humble pie, and exit. Guess which one I did??
 
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A

atrain

#62
#62
I drive a taxi at night here in NYC and sometimes I pick up strippers going home (or wherever). One night I took a stripper out to the wilds of Middle Village (she was getting directions from her boyfriend or whomever over the cellphone).

The trip starts out when she gets into the cab and the doorman is not shutting the taxi door so fast. She tells him "look this was my first night, I didn't do too good" and he slams shut the door. Then we start the safari to Middle village. She's yelling over the cellphone (my cellphone actually) "You can't talk to me that way! You have to have respect!" She hangs up, he calls back I answer, give her the phone. More yelling but I finally get the secret on how to get to where prince charming awaits.

She says to me. "I hate men. I'd be better off if I turn lesbian."

Another stripper over the cell, another slow night-
"It was all ghetto and cheapskates"

One flying on some chemical or other puts one leg through the partition and the other out the car window. A cop car is following but they don't do anything. She keeps asking me "what's your problem?" I was a bit worried but at the end of the ride she paid pretty quickly, tipped normally and thanked me for the ride.
 
J

justlooking

#63
#63
In a hotel room.

I start to undo her bra.

HER: Be careful. This bra was very expensive, and this is the first time I'm wearing it.

ME (unhooking clasps): Don't worry. I've been undoing bras since before you were born.

HER: That's really not a good thing for you to say.
 
M

masquerade

#64
#64
So, I'm at work doing my now famous after stage tip parade. I walk up to a table where two young guys and one stripper are sitting.

1st guy: "Can you believe how pretty this girl is?" He says this to me and gestures at the dancer sitting next to him.

Me: "I know, definitely the hottest one here!"

The 2nd guy, completely misinterpreting the entire exchange, looks at me with disgust and says,

"geez, conceited much? I was gonna tip you 'cause I liked your show, but you're a bitch. Get lost."

1st guy and other stripper: "no! she wasn't talking about herself, dummy!"

The 2nd guy realizes he just fucked up and insulted me and starts apologizing.

Me: No problem. So, can I have that tip you were gonna give me now?"

2nd guy: "ummm... actually I don't have any money."
 
R

Retoxicate

#66
#66
I was in a room at the old Paradise club with a little J-Lo looking thing. The conversation drifted to what is the wildest thing you've done sexually. After a bit of prodding, she told me that she had been engaged to great guy who she really loved. But, she always fantasized and fucking him in the ass.

He refused, but slowly, she began to get thim to agree to have things out in his ass. A finger, anal beads, fingers and anal beads and so on. Then as they were planning the wedding she gets him to pick out a strap on. The idea was that maybe they'd do a threesome, but she told me she lied, she only intended to use it on him. During the story, which took her about 20 minutes to tell, there was way to much detail, she kept saying how great and understanding he was and how much she loved him.

Eventually, about 2 months before the wedding, he gave in. Her eyes lit up as she said, in what sounded way too much like Rosie Perez, "I fucked the shit outta him."

I asked if he liked it and she said that he absolutely hated it.

I figure, wow, that's some story, but what happened to the engagement? She said, I dumped him about a week later.

Then entirely seriously, she looked at me, "What sorta bitch ass man lets hisself get fucked in the ass?"
 
R

Retoxicate

#69
#69
The first stripper I ever dated was a chick from Paradise club. I will call her Chastity. She was educated, married, hot and a basketful of daddy issues. Still she was hot and I spent way too much time and money in the champagne rooms at the PC getting to know her. One thing led to another, and we ended up dating and as these things usually do, it ended badly.

One story she told me, sticks out in my mind, mostly because it shows how completely immature and self-centered I am and its a good story.

Anyway, Chastity had worked as an au pair in Spain for about a year when she was 20 or so. The conditions were awful, the pay worse and the people she worked for worse than that. Still, she went an ocean away to get away from Daddy (told you she had Daddy issues). Eventually, it got so bad there, she came back to the States, penniless. She got a job stripping, but had nowhere to stay. The club manager told her she could sleep in the club at night for a week or until she got enough cash to get her own place.

So, she worked that day, settled in for the night with a guy she had met like an hour before closing. They were in a back room of the club, fucking in the pitch black, I mean it was dark, he wasn't nailing her in the rear. Now, she said, something was amiss. There was a noise, like whipsers, it got louder and scratchier. Well, they were still fucking away, the way 20 year olds fuck, until she felt something hit her arm and then her leg, then more and more of that. Then all hell broke loose. Fuckboy did an Olympic dismount and managed to hit a light, screaming the entire time. When the light went on, their worst fear (or definitely in the top 3) was confirmed. The room, the furniture, their clothes and their bodies were covered with large rats.

Now, her version of the story lasted about ten minutes. As for me, all I could think of was why is this girl I'm dating telling me what a slut she is. I mean fuck the rats, she just met this dude like 10 mintues before. Anyway, I'm a douche.
 
P

puffin

#70
#70
Retoxicate said:
... As for me, all I could think of was why is this girl I'm dating telling me what a slut she is. I mean fuck the rats, she just met this dude like 10 mintues before. Anyway, I'm a douche.
Click to expand...
I dated a church cantor who (I learned later) liked to pick up strangers and bring them home to be banged and spanked. She liked being treated like a dog. At least with the stripper you see it coming.
 
P

puffin

#72
#72
Retoxicate said:
Wow, how'd you find out about what she was up to?
Click to expand...
Her most recent bang buddy would call for a booty call, and she would struggle to get off the phone quickly. She would tell me about him, and how it was over, and awful. She would explain how how would drop by and call her names, pull her hair. She then complained that she didn't even know his name. In brief - she told me. I headed for the hills. She had issue. MAJOR issues. I thought there was something creepy about her when I met her. These days I'm more likely to walk away early on. It's a bit judgmental, but in my experience my hunches are right. I wish that was not the case.
 
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R

Retoxicate

#73
#73
puffin said:
Her most recent bang buddy would call for a booty call, and she would struggle to get off the phone quickly. She would tell me about him, and how it was over, and awful. She would explain how how would drop by and call her names, pull her hair. She then complained that she didn't even know his name. In brief - she told me. I headed for the hills. She had issue. MAJOR issues. I thought there was something creepy about her when I met her. These days I'm more likely to walk away early on. It's a bit judgmental, but in my experience my hunches are right. I wish that was not the case.
Click to expand...
Lol, I used to have a friend with benefits who was forever having a few different guys over to change lightbulbs and shit. She told me over and over it was platonic, old friends and such, and she would get genuinely upset when I would tease her about it. For the most part, I didn't care, so I didn't give it much thought. Then one night I drop in for a booty call and she has like 6 lights in her apartment and 5 of the bulbs are burnt out. All I said, was change light bulbs, my ass. Oh, I did fuck her again, I just never believed a word she said after that.
 
M

MrNY

Subject to blackouts
#74
#74
feelin' kinda down, i came in for a visit only to find my ATF thread...

THANK YOU, Justlooking (you'd think after all this time, he'd graduate up to "Ok-ok-I-looked-I-Liked it-i'll stay"

thanks for the laugh (BIG BElly laughs)

Hi to ALL!!

x/o - MrNY
 
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