Stripper Chit-Chat II

K

krshtest

#121
#121
Bah

Just last week -- Lying in my own bed with a stripper (yeah, yeah I took her home while my wife is out of town for a week -- not the brightest move).

Her: You need a girlfriend to take care of you.
Me: I don't want a girlfriend.
Her: Why not? You're a good guy. You deserve one.
Me: I'm married.
Her: Really? Where does your wife live?
Me: Here. You didn't notice all her shit lying around?
Her: Not really. This place could actually use a woman's touch.

Doh!
 
M

martinjsxx

#122
#122
In the good old days of the Harmony Theater I knew this Chinese woman who used to spend a half hour with me for a $10 dance. That was about all I spent on her each time. After a few months she started casually asking me to give her several thousand dollars to buy a car. I laughed it off each time but she would continue to ask once in awhile. I never considered it seriously at all. Now maybe if she was about 19 I might have given it some serious thought. :)
 
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J

justlooking

#123
#123
Here's something I've noticed about girls from the former Soviet Union or Warsaw Pact nations. No matter how "close" and "personal" you get with them, they really like to bring along friends to meet you -- presumably to up their own status.

So a few nights ago, a stripper from a former part of the Soviet Union insisted on bringing along her roommate to one of our "dates". I didn't resist, obviously.

It was fun. We had dinner, and then hours of fun in a hotel.

As they were leaving, I went to the safe and pulled out some money to give to each of them.

"Yeah, you're right," my "friend's" roommate said to her, rolling her eyes, after I gave her the money. "This doesn't feel anything like being an escort."
 
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B

BennyBlanc0

#124
#124
silly ruskies

justlooking said:
Here's something I've noticed about girls from the former Soviet Union or Warsaw Pact nations. No matter how "close" and "personal" you get with them, they really like to bring along friends to meet you -- presumably to up their own status.

So a few nights ago, a stripper from a former part of the Soviet Union insisted on bringing along her roommate to one of our "dates". I didn't resist, obviously.

It was fun. We had dinner, and then hours of fun in a hotel.

As they were leaving, I went to the safe and pulled out some money to give to each of them.

"Yeah, you're right," my "friend's" roommate said to her, rolling her eyes, after I gave her the money. "This doesn't feel anything like being an escort."
Click to expand...

truth lol! mine doesnt seem to get the point when I drive a 2-seater certain evenings... maybe she likes getting in-car lapdances from friends?
 
D

donquixote04

#125
#125
justlooking said:
... "Yeah, you're right," my "friend's" roommate said to her, rolling her eyes, after I gave her the money. "This doesn't feel anything like being an escort."
Click to expand...
I know I'm being incredibly thick about this, justlooking, but I'm not sure if she was being sarcastic/ironic, or if she really meant it. Which one was it?
 
A

Axe

#128
#128
justlooking said:
Here's something I've noticed about girls from the former Soviet Union or Warsaw Pact nations. No matter how "close" and "personal" you get with them, they really like to bring along friends to meet you -- presumably to up their own status.
Click to expand...
Russians? Wow, I'm surprised. Ok, not too surprised, but sheez, man, those broads are ALL business. Kinda throws a wet blanket on the fantasy aspect, doesnt it? Or have you found the only Russian sex worker(s) who isnt counting her money while she blows you?
 
Z

zarathustra88

#129
#129
re: russian wit and wisdom...

a recent one started telling me about her boring but safe house in CNJ-purchased in 2006...i said 'wow you must pay a lot...' then she told me $300,000...and added 'yes that's right, i got fucked, without lubrication.' later she described the parking lot (of an extras joint) trolls blowing customers for twenty dollars as 'our competition.'
 
J

justlooking

#130
#130
Axe said:
Russians? Wow, I'm surprised. Ok, not too surprised, but sheez, man, those broads are ALL business. Kinda throws a wet blanket on the fantasy aspect, doesnt it? Or have you found the only Russian sex worker(s) who isnt counting her money while she blows you?
Click to expand...
1. Not Russian.

2. After.
 
S

stevana

#132
#132
Axe said:
Or have you found the only Russian sex worker(s) who isnt counting her money while she blows you?
Click to expand...
I am not a big Russian fan for many of the reasons mentioned but don't all sex workers count the money before, during and after - at least in their minds? They are not blowing us because the like us - they are blowing us even though they despise us (and maybe themselves for doing it) for money.
 
P

puffin

#133
#133
stevana said:
I am not a big Russian fan for many of the reasons mentioned but don't all sex workers count the money before, during and after - at least in their minds? They are not blowing us because the like us - they are blowing us even though they despise us (and maybe themselves for doing it) for money.
Click to expand...
I was with one the other day who forgot to remind me to pay. I left only to turn around in the lobby and return to square up things. Of course in this case my credit is good, but still.
 
L

LISteve

#134
#134
I would like to thank al of you for your stories. VERY FUNNY stuff, Just Looking should get some sort of award! I read all of this thread and the stripper Chit Chat I thread. Gold ... pure gold.

This is my story ... 14 or 15 years ago at Scores in Manhattan ... I am there with two friends ... one guy loves to bust the strippers chops. This particular night there aren't a lot of customers and the girls are fighting for business. My friend says, "Watch this" as a girl walks up for her sales pitch:

Her: Hey baby want a dance?
Friend: No ... not right now I'm drinking a beer.
Her: That's OK take it back with you!
Friend: No ... I'm really tired.
Her: You won't be for long with me!
Friend: OK ... I will tell you the truth, I just had a lapdance and I shot my load in my pants.
Her: Big deal .. I will get a second load out of you no problem!
Friend: (looks at me and winks) OK ... I have no money.
Girl walks away without saying a word.

Priceless!
 
S

stevana

#136
#136
Conversation with a new girl at the bar in a mainstream place I frequent. Never saw her before.
Her: Would you like a lapdance?
Me: No. I don't do them. They are silly.
Her: Want to go to the CR?
Me: Maybe but I expect quite a bit back there.
Her: You will get that.
Me: What does that mean?
Her: Gulp!

We went and she did.
 
R

Retoxicate

#138
#138
her: you have to have kids, how many kids do you have?
me: that's not really something I talk about
her: come on, how many?
me: 17, I have 17 children.
her: stop. how many?
me: really, 17, those people beat us by like one, we were supposed to have that reality tv show. now my wife's vagina is so big, the doctor walked in and carried the last kid out.
 
paulbunyon

paulbunyon

#139
#139
I recently got into a discussion with a stripper I know who thought that Mark Wahlberg's gigantic penis in Boogie Nights was real! She didn't believe me when I broke the news to her that it was a prosthesis. I mean, c'mon...... Can't make this stuff up. Stripper logic lol!
 
R

Retoxicate

#140
#140
Took a recent trip to Montreal. At one of the more fun places outside of town I ended up in a private room with a woman bodybuilder. After some fooling around and bbbj action, I started to pull off her panties and she stopped me.

Stripper: I just need you to know that I have a huge clit.

Me: please just tell that isn't your way of saying you have a tiny penis.

Hormones can do bad things my friends.
 
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