Strip Clubs / Reality, Separating The Two

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danger-us

BACKCHANNEL BOY
When I'm in a strip club, my best experiences are when I temporarily lose the distinction between The Business and Reality. (Fortunately I rarely lose my monitary senses. This can't be said for some of my friends.)

Outside the the LD room, you need to understand the difference between The Business and Reality.

But when the games begin...

Like being at a movie. You know it's not real but you are willing to suspend your true beliefs so you can enjoy the show.
 

Wwanderer

Kids, don't try this at home
Originally posted by danger-us
Like being at a movie. You know it's not real but you are willing to suspend your true beliefs so you can enjoy the show.
I very much like this analogy which I have made many times myself, and in this context, I think a lot of guys approach LDs or provider sessions with a mindset that reduces their ability to enjoy themselves in much the same way that it would ruin one's enjoyment of a movie to be constantly dwelling on the fact that the characters are only actors/actresses following a predetermined script, working in front of an unseen array of cameras and crew, not even seeing the special effects that may dominate the viewer's version and so on and so forth. I do not really understand why people would spend money to intentionally buy an illusion and then do everything in their power to psychologically dispel it.

(Btw, to be clear, I am not here talking about the much discussed (im)possibility or wisdom of real relationships in commercial sex contexts but only about the appreciation of temporary illusions via suspesion of disbelief etc.)

-Ww
 
suspension of reality + good negotiating = temporary illusions and enjoyment. This is an oversimplified equation but it make some sense. Don't forget about negotiating - like it or not, the ladies generally don't have much choice if they want your business.

Chels
 

danger-us

BACKCHANNEL BOY
Originally posted by nychelsea
suspension of reality + good negotiating = temporary illusions and enjoyment.
As long as you are not negotiating much back in the LD room. That can bring business too close to pleasure. If you can handle it outside first, it's best.

If it is handled inside, the skills of the dancers are key. Some act very business-like and can spoil the mood. Others are good at keeping the illusion going while at the same time negotiating in a playful, teasing manner.
 
Originally posted by justlooking
Even if I didn't have any other opitions (and frankly, at about 1 o'clock yesterday morning I didn't have many good ones), why would it be worth it to spend a lot of money to get someone to do something she's told me she doesn't want to do? Doesn't seem very promising to me.
That is true. Even if you were able to convince her to do the extras that she didn't want to with you, she probably wouldn't have been "into it". It would have almost seemed mechanical.
This would have been a waste of your money, as you could have spent it on another dancer(another night) that was willing to give you what you wanted(and would have been into it).
 
Originally posted by danger-us
When I'm in a strip club, my best experiences are when I temporarily lose the distinction between The Business and Reality. (Fortunately I rarely lose my monitary senses. This can't be said for some of my friends.)

Outside the the LD room, you need to understand the difference between The Business and Reality.

But when the games begin...

Like being at a movie. You know it's not real but you are willing to suspend your true beliefs so you can enjoy the show.
I never DITTOed this. But I want to.
 
I was having dinner with a (now-"retired") stripper I've been "dating" for a while. After dinner, we were going to a hotel together.

She claimed I was the only (former) customer she was having sex with. Indeed, she claimed, since her boyfriend moved away from the area a few months ago (she plans eventually to join him), I was the only man she was having sex with.

She said I was not, however, the only (former) customer she saw. There was this other guy who she said she considered a friend. She spends a lot of time hanging out with him, and she asks him to do things for her. "I would never expect that from you," she said. "You've got a life."

As much as he obviously wants it, however, she does not have sex with him. Indeed, she told him her boyfriend is her husband in order to fend him off. She said she did not find him attractive. It also seems like he's probably somewhat socially maladroit, since she said he didn't have a girlfriend and probably never had a girlfriend.

"If he wants sex," said this woman who in less an than hour's time was going to be having sex with me, after which I'd give her some money, "he should hire an escort."

Now clubber will probably respond that she was lying to me about all this, and that's the end of the story. But let's pretend for a minute, for discussion's sake, that she was telling me some form of the truth.

I confess that the message I derived, as I was listening to her, wasn't that you can't sell sex to someone you consider a friend. What I thought was, some guys are losers and some aren't.
 
Of course, maybe what it is, is that he thinks, since they're "friends", that he can't pay her for sex -- and she sure isn't having sex with him gratuitously.* Maybe he'd think I'm a loser, then, since I have to pay her to sleep with me. But -- this is going to be the first time I've ever intimated that I might not always be a loser -- I don't see it that way.

_______________________________________________
* It seemed pretty apparent to me that she wouldn't sleep with him for money, either.
 

danger-us

BACKCHANNEL BOY
Originally posted by justlooking
She said I was not, however, the only (former) customer she saw. There was this other guy who she said she considered a friend. She spends a lot of time hanging out with him, and she asks him to do things for her. "I would never expect that from you," she said. "You've got a life."
OK, try this angle. As a good salesperson, she may be just pumping up her value. She could be doing this indirectly as to not make you suspicious.

1) She has some guy begging her for sex. That serves as a form of "review" of her value.

2) She wants you to recognize her value. (and in turn financially reward her very well)

3) This other guy does all sorts of things for her even with out getting sex (a form of payment)

4) By taking this form of payment she exhibits that even her time is worth money. Having sex with you is clearly worth more.

5) She makes you feel like you are better than the rest. (That's worth a few extra bucks!)

I think what she has done is masterful, even if it was not intended.
 
Nursing That Delusion

I should add this: she was moving far away a few days after that conversation. That was the last time I was ever going to see her. She had no reason to be promoting future business.
 
For what it's worth...

JL, you and I have never met, but I feel like I've got a pretty good sense of the kind of man you are, and you may be many things, good and bad (just like the rest of us), but you are most definitely not a loser...
 

danger-us

BACKCHANNEL BOY
Re: For what it's worth...

Originally posted by Cat_Ballou
JL, you and I have never met, but I feel like I've got a pretty good sense of the kind of man you are, and you may be many things, good and bad (just like the rest of us), but you are most definitely not a loser...
Ditto.
 

danger-us

BACKCHANNEL BOY
Originally posted by justlooking
She could have been trolling for some special big last-time payment, of course.

(Shit, you'd think she'd have appreciated the nice paperback I gave her as a going-away gift.)
Even when it's not done as a conscious sales tactic, women have a subconscious reason for telling you things they don't need to tell you.

A paperback? Sounds like you went all out this time.
 
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