How do you guys stop?

[mugi]

Almost everybody in the civilized world has psychological distortions regarding sex. Religious rules and societal rules compounded, along with parents and families restricting our understanding of the innate simplicity and beauty of sex.

I would say that the only peoples with a healthy, honest, true and real acclimation towards sex would be tribal communities where they are naked and free. Nothing is hidden. Everybody is walking around with erections, and bright pink moist pussies, free and easy with nothing to hide.

And, they are observing all of nature, pollination, plants, trees, animals, especially monkeys, doing nothing other than eating bananas and fucking. There is absolutely no mystery. No need to monger. You are credited for a healthy libido to add to the tribe. Your sexuality is your great asset, admired by all.

But, since we unfortunately did not grow up amongst the bushmen, we were burdened with the concepts of shame, guilt, limitation with regard to sex to whatever degree we accepted it.

It is our duty to ourselves to free ourselves from the conditioning imposed upon us, not only from our superiors, but that which lies deep in the subconscious of our human psyche.

For myself, giving up sex is a useless restraint that only breeds torment, frustration, and perverted desire.

My approach to free myself from my sexual phobias is to engage in the act very consciously.

Conscious sex can only be performed when to some degree you are able to control your orgasm.

If you are able to control your emission of semen, you are able to consciously design a session, and extend it and elongate it to experience a much higher quantity and quality of sexual content to satisfy all your desires fully.

If you lose control of your semen early, you might shortchange yourself, and not accomplish everything you want and need from a session.

Quality is more important than quantity.

The only way out is to be so satisfied and blissful having experienced sex to the hilt, where it no longer remains mysterious and hidden.

Then, you move on.

So, keep on doing what you are doing, but become a master of your sexuality. And, we have capacity to be a master and not a slave.

 

[genius]

.....But, since we unfortunately did not grow up amongst the bushmen, we were burdened with the concepts of shame, guilt, limitation with regard to sex to whatever degree we accepted it......

unfortunately ?
Thank you very much but I'll live with "with the concepts of shame, guilt, limitation with regard to sex " here instead of with the bushmen. —

Anyway the joke told by Woody Allen when asked "is sex dirty?
his answer: "If done right it is"

 

[mugi]

unfortunately ?
Thank you very much but I'll live with "with the concepts of shame, guilt, limitation with regard to sex " here instead of with the bushmen. —

Anyway the joke told by Woody Allen when asked "is sex dirty?
his answer: "If done right it is"

Yes, I see your point clearly, and your point of view. Thank you.

You enjoy the lifestyle fully, enjoy the game that it is, very optimistically assimilating the negative aspects into the far more abundant positive aspects, from your point of view.

May you live long and march forward and prosper continually in your pleasures.

More than 99% of the threads on this board address that view point, namely winning at this game that we play, how to get more and better from it.

However, this particular thread is entitled “How Do You Guys Stop?”

This particular thread leans more towards those who have enjoyed sometimes a lifetime in “this lifestyle,” “this game,” and while still addicted and pulled in by its titillation, have one foot trying to get out, choosing the broader happiness of clarity and freedom of reality, over the abundant thrills that this lifestyle offers.

This thread, “How Do You Guys Stop?” is a contemplation for those having suffered loses in the game that triggered a thought process and reappraisal of their dedication to it, and the possibility of freedom outside of its structure.

 

[Unown]

This is one of my favorite threads. I really enjoyed the comments from @genius and @mugi.

Feels like we need to start a new thread. "How did I start and why I keep going".

 

[Mongercode]

I just take breaks but can’t say I’ve ever fully stopped in over a decade and still counting…

 

[kimochi8]

I have an addiction. I am constantly looking for girls to fuck. I don’t know how many times I tried to stop and failed

the only period of time where I saw no one is beginning of covid when all GFE spas shutdown for about 5 months.

 

[zxcvb225]

Jerking off when you get the urge helps, that post nut clarity hits like a mf. Get you some good lube and a toy if you need to mix it up or something. Helps me. Also maybe setting a yearly or monthly budget on mongering. I don’t allow myself to go more than once every 2 months.

I swear sometimes the thrill of searching through and texting different providers is half the fun sometimes, so I would avoid casually doing that when bored too

And as corny as it sounds you also need a hobby or something to consume your time. If your sitting around bored all the time with nothing to do you will end up back in the habit no matter what. Whether it’s a sport/gym/hiking, trying new restaurants or take a class at a local community college you’ve always been interested in. Find something to take up your time.

There’s a study about mice being given cocaine and the mice were more addicted when they were in less stimulating environments. But when they had other mice around them with different activities and a larger environment they did less cocaine.

Also when considering addiction ask yourself the following questions:

is it negatively impacting my-
Health (physical and mental)?
Finances?
Career?
Social life?
Family?

if you say yes to any one of these it may be worth reaching out for help.

 

[mugi]

Jerking off when you get the urge helps, that post nut clarity hits like a mf. Get you some good lube and a toy if you need to mix it up or something. Helps me. Also maybe setting a yearly or monthly budget on mongering. I don’t allow myself to go more than once every 2 months.

I swear sometimes the thrill of searching through and texting different providers is half the fun sometimes, so I would avoid casually doing that when bored too

And as corny as it sounds you also need a hobby or something to consume your time. If your sitting around bored all the time with nothing to do you will end up back in the habit no matter what. Whether it’s a sport/gym/hiking, trying new restaurants or take a class at a local community college you’ve always been interested in. Find something to take up your time.

There’s a study about mice being given cocaine and the mice were more addicted when they were in less stimulating environments. But when they had other mice around them with different activities and a larger environment they did less cocaine.

Also when considering addiction ask yourself the following questions:

is it negatively impacting my-
Health (physical and mental)?
Finances?
Career?
Social life?
Family?

if you say yes to any one of these it may be worth reaching out for help.

Nice job @zxcvb225. You are an independent thinker taking control of your own destiny.

Keep on delving. Do whatever works for you, without giving yourself unneeded pressure.

It’s a universal mesmerizing desire, sexuality is.

But, we humans, being aware of its patterns and endless cycles, are designed to conquer anything that hurts, harms or distracts us from our own peace and sanity.

 

[mugi]

George Carlin used to do a short bit back in the 70’s on one of his vinyl albums, and in his live performances that used to send my friends and myself into uncontrollable frenzies of laughter.

Using the psychology of a killer who could not stop killing and making a plea to the authorities while on the lam, “Stop me before I kill again!!!”

In inimitable Classic Carlin 70’s style in voice and mannerism, he used to desperately broadcast, “Stop me before I fuck again!!!”

 

[gold69]

I haven't stopped completely but I have slowed down alot, I must admit though what helped me besides liking to see more $$ in my pockets and accts is ug, seeing and reading about all the raw bare going around and especially with sw or addicts freaks me out, I can't imagine some dude fucking some infected sw raw then fucking one of my atf raw and then I fuck her raw, that's how shit hits the fan, and not judging and to eaches own but I don't want to go out like that. As far as sa I went from having about 10 or so girls on rotation to just having 1 now, sometimes I have the urge to go on sa and see what's out there but I zone it out or put my mind somewhere else till it goes away and not saying I will never go back but for now I'm good taking it day by day. If you do the math the amount of money a person spend on sa could be another mortgage or nice car payment lol.

 

[Flintfred]

I haven't stopped completely but I have slowed down alot, I must admit though what helped me besides liking to see more $$ in my pockets and accts is ug, seeing and reading about all the raw bare going around and especially with sw or addicts freaks me out, I can't imagine some dude fucking some infected sw raw then fucking one of my atf raw and then I fuck her raw, that's how shit hits the fan, and not judging and to eaches own but I don't want to go out like that. As far as sa I went from having about 10 or so girls on rotation to just having 1 now, sometimes I have the urge to go on sa and see what's out there but I zone it out or put my mind somewhere else till it goes away and not saying I will never go back but for now I'm good taking it day by day. If you do the math the amount of money a person spend on sa could be another mortgage or nice car payment lol.

I have recently cut back as well. Partly because as you say, you can save a lot of money and partly because of the bare. I had a recent scare where one girl I was with said that she had something and found out after we were together. That was pretty scary. Got checked out and luckily didn’t get anything but it puts things in perspective.

 

[Flintfred]

I have recently cut back as well. Partly because as you say, you can save a lot of money and partly because of the bare. I had a recent scare where one girl I was with said that she had something and found out after we were together. That was pretty scary. Got checked out and luckily didn’t get anything but it puts things in perspective.

I’ll add that even with the scare and the saved money, the urge to get out there and do it again is very very strong and hard to resist.

 

[gold69]

I’ll add that even with the scare and the saved money, the urge to get out there and do it again is very very strong and hard to resist.

Same!!

 

[billyS]

Same!!

The first time I said "I am never going to do this again ", with 'this' being seeing a prostitute, was when I was driving down Queens Blvd heading to the Grand Central after seeing a girl at a Fast house.
That was in 1982.

 

[gold69]

The first time I said "I am never going to do this again ", with 'this' being seeing a prostitute, was when I was driving down Queens Blvd heading to the Grand Central after seeing a girl at a Fast house.
That was in 1982.

Back when dudes were standing on Roosevelt and junction saying "Chicas chicas" .

 

[billyS]

Back when dudes were standing on Roosevelt and junction saying "Chicas chicas" .

They had shills like that on The Deuce also.
One night while I was looking for some PFP action on 42nd better 6th and Broadway a dude stepped up to me as I was walking by and hissed "girls upstairs". I turned on a dime, headed up the stairs to find about six scantily clad WOCs bidding for my business.
I've never been the same.

 

[Nehoma]

The urge never stops and neither does the age. Thats what helped me stop among many other things.

 

[billyS]

Damn! Sorry. Makes you think, nature versus nurture! I’m always horny so I tend to think nature. But when you’re 7 years old and your mom wants you to watch Porky’s, Porky’s II and Porky’s Revenge because they are funny then shames you for liking a girl, then I think nurture.
I definitely have an unhealthy relationship with sex but I’m a big boy and continue to make my choices.

Did your mom have mental issues? Your relationship with your mom probably is the cause of your intimacy issues.
I'm basing some of that after reading your posts about how you fell in love with porn.

I'm also thinking you might deserve your own thread in the Stories section.

By stories I mean the section Thru The Looking Glass

 

[Camant1997]

Its hard to stop, you try and you go back, you say ok last time, you surf the adds and see a fine piece of ass and you say, I just need to taste that, last time, and its a vicious cycle

 

[iheartporno]

Did your mom have mental issues? Your relationship with your mom probably is the cause of your intimacy issues.
I'm basing some of that after reading your posts about how you fell in love with porn.

I'm also thinking you might deserve your own thread in the Stories section.

By stories I mean the section Thru The Looking Glass

Thanks for the reply Billy.

I think my mom definitely suffered from undiagnosed bipolar. It really screwed me up to the point where I’m uncomfortable talking about sex with anyone. I don’t even chime in when my friends would be talking about some hot girl at work, school etc. Even celebrities we would want to bang. For me, sex is buried deep into my personality. There’s such a disconnect, that I’d rather jerk off to porn or be with a provider rather than be with my wife. To me sex is purely a transaction. I pay and get what I want to quiet my mind. When other mongers talk about a provider not being into it, laying there like a dead fish etc, what’s messed up to me, I prefer that. I don’t like the acting and there’s few and far between providers that are really into it. I’m not into to the fake moans and orgasms. I want them to just lay there, not look at me and let me get what I’m paying for.

Maybe I will post in the “Through the Looking Glass“ forum to tell my story. Might be cathartic.