Why do men seek out providers for NP4P?
- Thread starter blondekelly
- Start date
- Status
Maybe because they feel that they clicked with you.
This is a strange business.
I guess one reason would be that some of us hold out a bit of hope that maybe, just maybe, a provider saw something in us other than the money in our pockets.
On the provider end, most try to be as friendly and sexy as possible for there customers whether they 'feel' anything or not. On the flip side, us mongers only see this friendly and sexy side. We dont know, or ignore the fact, that everyone gets the same treatment. I think it's pretty easy to mis-read the signals from the monger end, if your not wise to the business.
If a provider digs you NP4P, she will let you know. Otherwise, just enjoy the fantasy.
This is a strange business.
I guess one reason would be that some of us hold out a bit of hope that maybe, just maybe, a provider saw something in us other than the money in our pockets.
On the provider end, most try to be as friendly and sexy as possible for there customers whether they 'feel' anything or not. On the flip side, us mongers only see this friendly and sexy side. We dont know, or ignore the fact, that everyone gets the same treatment. I think it's pretty easy to mis-read the signals from the monger end, if your not wise to the business.
If a provider digs you NP4P, she will let you know. Otherwise, just enjoy the fantasy.
To be honest, I have no experience at all seeking out a provider for NP4P - at least as far as I know - but I'll take a stab at this one anyway.
Figuring out why men do things isnt Rocket Science. Men do this for the same reason they pursue ANY woman: They are attracted to them.
In the case of providers, there are a few extra reasons.
1. They know what shes like to have sex with. This gets the sexual compatibility 'mystery' out of the way and since the result is positive, he wants more.
2. Ego boost to get for 'free' what other guys are paying for.
3. Many men like the thrill of the chase and for some of them a provider is right up there at/near the top of the challenge list. For them landing one as a gf is like going to the High School prom with THE prettiest girl in the class.
My $0.02.
Figuring out why men do things isnt Rocket Science. Men do this for the same reason they pursue ANY woman: They are attracted to them.
In the case of providers, there are a few extra reasons.
1. They know what shes like to have sex with. This gets the sexual compatibility 'mystery' out of the way and since the result is positive, he wants more.
2. Ego boost to get for 'free' what other guys are paying for.
3. Many men like the thrill of the chase and for some of them a provider is right up there at/near the top of the challenge list. For them landing one as a gf is like going to the High School prom with THE prettiest girl in the class.
My $0.02.
Last edited:
I know a couple providers I have been friends for for 8+ yrs. Some have left the biz and have "normal " jobs that they wanted and I helped them to get.
I have found some to be crazy wack jobs and some to be bright intelligent compelling women. I try to avoid the first example...The latter usually end up as long term friends. ("friend" friends, not girlfriends)
I have found some to be crazy wack jobs and some to be bright intelligent compelling women. I try to avoid the first example...The latter usually end up as long term friends. ("friend" friends, not girlfriends)
It's going to sound a bit odd but after getting to know a few providers, straight middle-class women just don't make the grade in my estimation and I'm not talking about sex, not really. In my experience (which I'm ready to admit is limited and perhaps skewed as well), middle-class white women are afraid of men and sex or at least need all sorts of guarantees in life. More ofthe latter.
I have to say that seeing a few CL providers - both FS and BR - really brightened my outlook. I was under no illusions that the girl was responding to me in particular but I could see that it was possible that a woman could act with some sort of sexual courage in life and strangely this gave me some romantic hope about all women. It doesn't matter that she, the escort, was doing it for money. That just simplified things. We all do most of what we do in life to make a living. We are material beings and while I wouldn't go so far as to say that marriage is legalized prostitution, the relations between men and women are always going to intertwined with questions of material support. Prositution just makes this reality a little starker.
On the one hand I've seen a steady P4P woman since about 1992 - strictly oral at this point - and as unromantic and functional as this experience has been overall, I still respect K's interestingly cynical point of view and consider her a friend. We talk mostly about politics these days. On the other hand, I have met perhaps the most intellectually charismatic woman I have ever known last year and in order to get closer to her, I moved it to a platonic basis after a few CL dates. I consider her to be a good friend and yes her semi-pro escort past and somewhat outre sexuality is part of the appeal. But that's not the whole story.
I have to say that seeing a few CL providers - both FS and BR - really brightened my outlook. I was under no illusions that the girl was responding to me in particular but I could see that it was possible that a woman could act with some sort of sexual courage in life and strangely this gave me some romantic hope about all women. It doesn't matter that she, the escort, was doing it for money. That just simplified things. We all do most of what we do in life to make a living. We are material beings and while I wouldn't go so far as to say that marriage is legalized prostitution, the relations between men and women are always going to intertwined with questions of material support. Prositution just makes this reality a little starker.
On the one hand I've seen a steady P4P woman since about 1992 - strictly oral at this point - and as unromantic and functional as this experience has been overall, I still respect K's interestingly cynical point of view and consider her a friend. We talk mostly about politics these days. On the other hand, I have met perhaps the most intellectually charismatic woman I have ever known last year and in order to get closer to her, I moved it to a platonic basis after a few CL dates. I consider her to be a good friend and yes her semi-pro escort past and somewhat outre sexuality is part of the appeal. But that's not the whole story.
Emily,
I think the guys BK was referring to already know what providers do...in fact they are existing customers...so Im not sure this applies to what you said.
perhaps you were referring to situations where the guy is not a hobbyist and does not know???
under either scenario...it really is no one's business whther they approve of what yo do or not!
if they are a customer...they already know and there is no room to be judgemental in this case.
if they are a civilian, they dont necessarily need to know ...but if the do and they dont like it...you know what they say....the door is that way!
by the way, their are many non-hobbyists that have relationships with providers...perhaps you are just meeting the wrong guys????
another policy that sometimes works is "Don't Ask...Don't Tell." just like the military. Lots of involved adults work this way these days.
what do you think Emily??
Last edited:
I know what the question was, meeting someone in session and then dating them, right? Well if you meet someone in session the hard part of telling them what you do is over because they already know since they met you in session.
I don't speak for anyone else but I personally cannot be with someone in my private life without them knowing what I do. If they leave me for it, they leave me. The problem with dating a client and continuing to work is that not only do they know what you do but they have a visual play by play of the session and if you date them and go back to work they will know exactly what you do but it will be with another guy. here are very few guys that could handle that. When that reality sets in they most likely they will resent you for it.
I don't speak for anyone else but I personally cannot be with someone in my private life without them knowing what I do. If they leave me for it, they leave me. The problem with dating a client and continuing to work is that not only do they know what you do but they have a visual play by play of the session and if you date them and go back to work they will know exactly what you do but it will be with another guy. here are very few guys that could handle that. When that reality sets in they most likely they will resent you for it.
- Status