I just want to be clear about this. I believe the choice of telling someone what you do is completely personal choice. I respect all of my peers and I do know judge of disagree any choices about disclosing information. I make a choice but it is my choice and not the standard of what I believe is right or wrong. I was accused in another thread of thinking my perspective is the only one and that is not true.
Why do men seek out providers for NP4P?
- Thread starter blondekelly
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No, I am not sure but it takes a certain kind of person to be able to but things in perspective and not let jealousy and emotions fog thier thoughts too much. We are not talking about what is fair and who has rights to say what but what could realistically happen with two humans.
Another question will be why would a provider date a client. One reason I could think of is that all the cards are on the table from the beginning and it could be relieving.
Another question will be why would a provider date a client. One reason I could think of is that all the cards are on the table from the beginning and it could be relieving.
I don't know about dating providers per se, but I'll make the comparison to dating dancers. Many guys meet them at a club, usually guys that are rarely there (bachelor or office party), find them hot, sexy, and possibly even intelligent. They start dating, and eventually the guy starts resenting when the dancer comes home from work and isn't interested in sex (she's just been groped by semi-strangers for 6-7 hrs.). I've seen this so many times it becomes the stereotype. I can imagine the same for providers, FS or not. I've seen several marriages break up because of it.
Just because a guy knows the facts going in doesn't mean his outlook doesn't change over time. I would say that is the norm rather than the exception. Man can put aside ego for a while, but it's always there, and he'll use it to make her the bad guy at the end of a relationship.
As for being judgmental as related to having personal baggage, I think everyone is/has both to some degree. It comes out when life stress forces it out, even if you didn't think it was there before.
Just because a guy knows the facts going in doesn't mean his outlook doesn't change over time. I would say that is the norm rather than the exception. Man can put aside ego for a while, but it's always there, and he'll use it to make her the bad guy at the end of a relationship.
As for being judgmental as related to having personal baggage, I think everyone is/has both to some degree. It comes out when life stress forces it out, even if you didn't think it was there before.
Here is how I see it: jusification for time spent on NP4P can be an attempt by a client to be with a provider whom he's had good experiences with more frequently and without the burden on his wallet. In the end guys want more sex...sure variety is nice, but I would rather consistent solid performances instead of the random guessing game (I could hit the bars for that! Let me tell you it sucks bringing home some hot 20 something that looks like she'll romp you into a coma only to have her transform into a timid, inexperienced, orgasmic crier).
Now I dont beleive that any provider would accept NP4P with a client without some higher level commitment: meaning dating. None of you would accept someone just coming over for some "fun" at his leisure without a donation simply because he's a good lay or conversationalist. There would have to be more to it...which begs the question: why? Isnt being a monger a conscious effort to avoid all that wining and dinning and go straight for the firworks? Providers: what would be reason you would entertain seeing a client except under the pretext of starting/having an emotional (dating-type) relationship?
Now I dont beleive that any provider would accept NP4P with a client without some higher level commitment: meaning dating. None of you would accept someone just coming over for some "fun" at his leisure without a donation simply because he's a good lay or conversationalist. There would have to be more to it...which begs the question: why? Isnt being a monger a conscious effort to avoid all that wining and dinning and go straight for the firworks? Providers: what would be reason you would entertain seeing a client except under the pretext of starting/having an emotional (dating-type) relationship?
From a client standpoint this is what I see,
- guys try it because they like the idea of getting for "free" what other guys have to pay for.
- there is no issue of secrecy because each comes to the party knowing about the other.
- if a guy wants to date a provider under np4p, then he knows what she does and can accept it, at least for a little while.
- guys know that a woman is sexual and just how sexual.
- guys like the idea that this woman may see dozens if not more guys a month, but its him that she remembers, him that she belongs to, and possibly him that she "loves."
- guys only see the soft, sensual, friendly and sexual side of most providers and they assume that this is how the woman would be for him in real life.
- and going on that last point, many lonely guys simply see these women, know how friendly they are, sexy they are, sexual they are, and since they're already substituting this "relationship" for a real relationship with a civie woman, and the provider makes them feel like a king and the only man in the world, they take all these perceptions from the provider and see if they can transfer them from a business to personal relationship.
And that's my two cents....
- guys try it because they like the idea of getting for "free" what other guys have to pay for.
- there is no issue of secrecy because each comes to the party knowing about the other.
- if a guy wants to date a provider under np4p, then he knows what she does and can accept it, at least for a little while.
- guys know that a woman is sexual and just how sexual.
- guys like the idea that this woman may see dozens if not more guys a month, but its him that she remembers, him that she belongs to, and possibly him that she "loves."
- guys only see the soft, sensual, friendly and sexual side of most providers and they assume that this is how the woman would be for him in real life.
- and going on that last point, many lonely guys simply see these women, know how friendly they are, sexy they are, sexual they are, and since they're already substituting this "relationship" for a real relationship with a civie woman, and the provider makes them feel like a king and the only man in the world, they take all these perceptions from the provider and see if they can transfer them from a business to personal relationship.
And that's my two cents....
Your right.
I do not know why guys do this, some guys are curious to see what we are like outside of our uniform in a civilian society. Of course there are special connections that guys feel and want to explore. There are many reasons but I can only speculate, I would like to here more from of members on this.
In Kelly's case she is so charming and fun people want to be seen with her so I understand why she is asked out on casual dates often. I believe my Dad even has a crush on her, she just has that certain something.
I do not know why guys do this, some guys are curious to see what we are like outside of our uniform in a civilian society. Of course there are special connections that guys feel and want to explore. There are many reasons but I can only speculate, I would like to here more from of members on this.
In Kelly's case she is so charming and fun people want to be seen with her so I understand why she is asked out on casual dates often. I believe my Dad even has a crush on her, she just has that certain something.
Not sure what you mean...
Any relationship today has to deal with the volume of extra relationship sexual activity as that with a stripper or provider? That's stretching. Yes, every relationship has to deal with a partner having a bad day and not being in the mood, but the overtones associated with the items in this thread appear exceptional to me. "Simply" needs to be worked out is a matter of degree, and this is the extreme.
Any relationship today has to deal with the volume of extra relationship sexual activity as that with a stripper or provider? That's stretching. Yes, every relationship has to deal with a partner having a bad day and not being in the mood, but the overtones associated with the items in this thread appear exceptional to me. "Simply" needs to be worked out is a matter of degree, and this is the extreme.
For me, personally, it is difficult to date a non-provider without not only lying to her about a lot of my life, but not being able to talk to her about a lot of things I do on a daily basis. It is also difficult for a non-provider to meaningfully talk to me about a lot of issues which I want to be able to have serious discussions with the person I'm dating.
I think I have had "success stories" even though they "end badly" - let's face it, how do most relationships end? Badly! That's why they're over! I still have deep feelings for a number of women even though I no longer see/speak with them (I often wonder how they feel about me).
And since we all know how much I like to repeat myself: In my case, it's almost always been the woman who broke up with me, rather than me breaking it off because I couldn't deal with what she was doing. It's very hard since if you want her to leave the business, you're a controlling asshole, and if you don't want her to leave the business you're a heartless bastard who couldn't possibly care about her.
PS I'm hoping to get stupid again with a past .... whatever ... in about 3 months. I'm sure everyone thinks it's a bad idea, but I know one thing: the last time I was reasonably happy was when I was with her (I fealt like a king whenever we were together).
PPS I really can't think of too many working girls who I hooked up with where I regret doing it. But I can think of several which I wouldn't give up having done so for all the tea in China.
I think I have had "success stories" even though they "end badly" - let's face it, how do most relationships end? Badly! That's why they're over! I still have deep feelings for a number of women even though I no longer see/speak with them (I often wonder how they feel about me).
And since we all know how much I like to repeat myself: In my case, it's almost always been the woman who broke up with me, rather than me breaking it off because I couldn't deal with what she was doing. It's very hard since if you want her to leave the business, you're a controlling asshole, and if you don't want her to leave the business you're a heartless bastard who couldn't possibly care about her.
PS I'm hoping to get stupid again with a past .... whatever ... in about 3 months. I'm sure everyone thinks it's a bad idea, but I know one thing: the last time I was reasonably happy was when I was with her (I fealt like a king whenever we were together).
PPS I really can't think of too many working girls who I hooked up with where I regret doing it. But I can think of several which I wouldn't give up having done so for all the tea in China.
When I first read the question Blondekelly asked to start off this thread, it seemed to me to imply that seeking out providers for NP4P is a stupid idea.
Then I realized that no matter how stupid it may be, it would probably still be hard to find a provider who hasnt dated a client. Miki just sort of verified that.
So to be honest and accurate about it, can we say that it is a stupid idea... but only for the guys a provider would never date?
For the guys she would consider dating, it most certainly is not a stupid idea.
Right, Blondekelly and Fairemily?
Then I realized that no matter how stupid it may be, it would probably still be hard to find a provider who hasnt dated a client. Miki just sort of verified that.
So to be honest and accurate about it, can we say that it is a stupid idea... but only for the guys a provider would never date?
For the guys she would consider dating, it most certainly is not a stupid idea.
Right, Blondekelly and Fairemily?
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