Sugar Babies are not good Girlfriends
- Thread starter justme
- Start date
A few reasons. One is that I have trust issues I have to work through still due to some personal issues I'm not going to get into here. The other is being practical you just don't know (I'm saying this independent of her).
Right. And a black hole of nonsense. Circular eh?
I don't want to turn this into a pissing contest, but ok, I'll entertain some of this.... We get along great. Ridiculously great. Surprisingly great. As mentioned here or maybe in the SA thread we tell each other everything too, including stuff never told our own families. We have pet names, we finish each other sentences, have similar sense of humor, as mentioned watch each other's backs, etc. She never said she loved me, nor have I to her, probably because we don't at this point. I am often the first person she will tell good news, etc. Or contact about daily stuff for instance she contacted me multiple times during the snow today to see if I was ok. We help each other with family problems, and other nonsense that comes up. Sex with her continues off the charts. We keep changing up what we're doing and it keeps it spiced up. I don't think she's never not have multiple orgasms, many times to the point of exhaustion. Re wetness let me just say that one time she had my finger fuck her while we were driving back from dinner she was so horny. On that note we're pulled off on the road to fuck more than once. She tells me what she likes and I do it for her and then asks me what for me too. We love to fuck each other silly. She's always coming up with new things to do and say whether in the bedroom or not. We talk about other couples including why we won't have their problems if that's the case, talk about the future, and even of some of our co-dependency on each other. Ok, now back to our regularly scheduled station.
Right. And a black hole of nonsense. Circular eh?
I don't want to turn this into a pissing contest, but ok, I'll entertain some of this.... We get along great. Ridiculously great. Surprisingly great. As mentioned here or maybe in the SA thread we tell each other everything too, including stuff never told our own families. We have pet names, we finish each other sentences, have similar sense of humor, as mentioned watch each other's backs, etc. She never said she loved me, nor have I to her, probably because we don't at this point. I am often the first person she will tell good news, etc. Or contact about daily stuff for instance she contacted me multiple times during the snow today to see if I was ok. We help each other with family problems, and other nonsense that comes up. Sex with her continues off the charts. We keep changing up what we're doing and it keeps it spiced up. I don't think she's never not have multiple orgasms, many times to the point of exhaustion. Re wetness let me just say that one time she had my finger fuck her while we were driving back from dinner she was so horny. On that note we're pulled off on the road to fuck more than once. She tells me what she likes and I do it for her and then asks me what for me too. We love to fuck each other silly. She's always coming up with new things to do and say whether in the bedroom or not. We talk about other couples including why we won't have their problems if that's the case, talk about the future, and even of some of our co-dependency on each other. Ok, now back to our regularly scheduled station.
I've been down this road more than a few times since I found my first SB and I have learned something about deluding myself into believing it is anything more than what it is. Friendships and bonds are formed over time with familiarity and intimate contact. The real deal will give you something more than themselves, their words, their time and an ego stroke which is often considered their part of the bargain. It's unmistakable when someone does even the smallest thing for no reason beyond the arrangement like think to buy you a gift or give you a card or anything that shows they appreciate you and what you do for them. If, over time, after that friendship and bond is formed they only know how to take without consideration then it is nothing more than what it started as.
I would
Your situation does sound a bit more personal in nature than mine did...I saw this gal for 5 years...we went through births, deaths, weddings,college graduation her acceptance to Med school the whole gamut of life you go through with anyone in a relationship....but things and people change. And being older I know there's always another guy who could come along who is richer and younger than me.....THe "Pretty Woman" experience like the movie are just very rare. The first time I had a SB "turn" on me..I spent weeks driving myself crazy of reviewing in my head all the times we hung out and she seemed sincere, and enjoyed it...and I walked around in a daze questioning my sanity...the next SB I said no more I won't be suckered in..and then this latest gal came along, the one I saw for 5 years..and I fooled myself again with .."But she's different"....it's really no different than the phases in regular relationships... THere's the "honeymoon" phase where you're both thrilled with each other, then the ho hum phase where it's like "ok, this is ok"..and then you "start to notice the distance phase"...the texts are less personal, less frequent, the time spent is lessened, the quality of the time for you is great but you begin to pick up on the little things where you know in your gut.."It's all about the money".....Well you know what Woody Allen said.."The most expensive sex is free sex"....One way or another we all pay a financial and emotional price for all this.....I just try and keep that in mind just enough where it's not spoiling my fun...
Your situation does sound a bit more personal in nature than mine did...I saw this gal for 5 years...we went through births, deaths, weddings,college graduation her acceptance to Med school the whole gamut of life you go through with anyone in a relationship....but things and people change. And being older I know there's always another guy who could come along who is richer and younger than me.....THe "Pretty Woman" experience like the movie are just very rare. The first time I had a SB "turn" on me..I spent weeks driving myself crazy of reviewing in my head all the times we hung out and she seemed sincere, and enjoyed it...and I walked around in a daze questioning my sanity...the next SB I said no more I won't be suckered in..and then this latest gal came along, the one I saw for 5 years..and I fooled myself again with .."But she's different"....it's really no different than the phases in regular relationships... THere's the "honeymoon" phase where you're both thrilled with each other, then the ho hum phase where it's like "ok, this is ok"..and then you "start to notice the distance phase"...the texts are less personal, less frequent, the time spent is lessened, the quality of the time for you is great but you begin to pick up on the little things where you know in your gut.."It's all about the money".....Well you know what Woody Allen said.."The most expensive sex is free sex"....One way or another we all pay a financial and emotional price for all this.....I just try and keep that in mind just enough where it's not spoiling my fun...
I,went through the same thing. Started out great. Texting was regular and frequent. Then it tapered off to the "OK, this is cool" phase. Then out of nowhere the texts became less frequent to the point of no,response. It was always about the money and nothing else. I stopped deluding myself. A whore is a whore...
I agree. 100%. And it's just as telling when we bring up the path of wife, SO, gf, and yes SB. And if the SB is so into you and stuff if the feeling is mutual you'd be bf/gf. So hearing somebody loves you when you're not even going up that path well yeah I have doubts who wouldn't? There's a reason you're not at that next step.
It's definitely lots of personal. As has also been said stop paying her and see who is still around. I do know my SB is enjoying things but for those SB who do it 100% for the money I just can't see them spending all that time just for that. But that's me. My ATF and I are not gf/bf and until we are we're not. And right now there is no until so we're not that way either. If we evolve I'll worry about that step if it happens. And the way I see it is if is was going to happen then it would have by now. Your brain wants to tell you a bunch of stuff but you need to continue in reality until and unless there is pretty clear signals and statements otherwise. And this isn't even doubt. Doubt is from the wishful thinking. If there was no wishful thinking the doubt is not part of the equation.
It's definitely lots of personal. As has also been said stop paying her and see who is still around. I do know my SB is enjoying things but for those SB who do it 100% for the money I just can't see them spending all that time just for that. But that's me. My ATF and I are not gf/bf and until we are we're not. And right now there is no until so we're not that way either. If we evolve I'll worry about that step if it happens. And the way I see it is if is was going to happen then it would have by now. Your brain wants to tell you a bunch of stuff but you need to continue in reality until and unless there is pretty clear signals and statements otherwise. And this isn't even doubt. Doubt is from the wishful thinking. If there was no wishful thinking the doubt is not part of the equation.
You never said your ages. My SB told me she likes me first. Told me she loved me first. Just yesterday she was helping me shovel my driveway before we went in my house. She texts me always thanks after the date. I give her money maybe the 3rd date after we hang out. She tells me everything.
Unless people have never had a girl have strong feelings for them. I really don't understand what's so confusing about realizing if a girl has genuine feelings for you or not. Girls aren't as direct but they give clues. Big ones some Men just miss them idk how but they do.
Unless people have never had a girl have strong feelings for them. I really don't understand what's so confusing about realizing if a girl has genuine feelings for you or not. Girls aren't as direct but they give clues. Big ones some Men just miss them idk how but they do.
And I won't be.
One of my first SBs did exactly this. Clamored all over me too. I love female attention. I got rid of her immediately.
Why not the 4th or 5th? Heck, don't give her any money at all.
I've addressed that some feelings are genuine as otherwise it would not work. Beyond that something I've said I've either miscommunicated or is being misunderstood, let's just assume the former for now as I think we're getting circular.
One of my first SBs did exactly this. Clamored all over me too. I love female attention. I got rid of her immediately.
Why not the 4th or 5th? Heck, don't give her any money at all.
I've addressed that some feelings are genuine as otherwise it would not work. Beyond that something I've said I've either miscommunicated or is being misunderstood, let's just assume the former for now as I think we're getting circular.
I'm one of those guys that has had success not needing to compensate their SB. Some of these girls I'm not interested in long term, just to hook up with a few times before moving on. Sure, there are girls I'll see if they tell me up they're looking for money, and if we can agree on a figure I'm comfortable with I'm game for that. But if they don't mention money to me, I'm not bringing it up.
Others I started out not giving money to, but over time would help them with buying clothes, groceries, wireless headphones, etc. if I was interested in them and seeing them regularly. I've seen some of these girls struggling with basics working part time and going to school full time, so if I care about them, I'll help them out as I can.
And then there are girls (only 2) I started out giving money to but stopped after a few dates. More about them later.
Some of the girls that didn't want an allowance DID treat SA like a dating site. They just liked older guys. One 19 year old African Muslim who lived with her family only had sex with her college boyfriend, but wanted to sleep with another guy before going back to college. There was no mention of money, she wanted sex. Unfortunately, picking her up and being in a seedy Bronx motel room 25 minutes later and hooking up wasn't my thing. As cute as she was, my body wouldn't go along it and I had the embarrassment of not being able to perform for her. I've never been the type to feel comfortable just hooking up with someone right away like that, and that evening solidified it for me to make sure I was comfortable with the girl, on a personal level, before hooking up.
The ones that I stopped giving money to with no other kind of compensation were the ones where it started turning into a quasi-relationship. I would cover the costs of dinner when we went out, the hotel rooms, and maybe get them a cute top if we were at the mall. Aside from the age gap and keeping them from my personal life, it felt like a regular relationship. Including them buying me gifts. Maybe for a birthday, maybe just because. It does happen. Some of these younger girls develop feelings, and it's a difficult balance to strike with how far you let that go.
In closing, I see a lot of comments from guys questioning if the girls really cared about them at all, or if it was just about the money. My take? If you've been seeing her for years, make her laugh, put her at ease and are someone she can confide in, even if money is what drew her to you, chances are she has feelings for you too. I imagine it would take someone being quite the psychopath to have that kind of sustained, regular intimate contact with another human being and have no feelings whatsoever for them.
Of course that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.
Others I started out not giving money to, but over time would help them with buying clothes, groceries, wireless headphones, etc. if I was interested in them and seeing them regularly. I've seen some of these girls struggling with basics working part time and going to school full time, so if I care about them, I'll help them out as I can.
And then there are girls (only 2) I started out giving money to but stopped after a few dates. More about them later.
Some of the girls that didn't want an allowance DID treat SA like a dating site. They just liked older guys. One 19 year old African Muslim who lived with her family only had sex with her college boyfriend, but wanted to sleep with another guy before going back to college. There was no mention of money, she wanted sex. Unfortunately, picking her up and being in a seedy Bronx motel room 25 minutes later and hooking up wasn't my thing. As cute as she was, my body wouldn't go along it and I had the embarrassment of not being able to perform for her. I've never been the type to feel comfortable just hooking up with someone right away like that, and that evening solidified it for me to make sure I was comfortable with the girl, on a personal level, before hooking up.
The ones that I stopped giving money to with no other kind of compensation were the ones where it started turning into a quasi-relationship. I would cover the costs of dinner when we went out, the hotel rooms, and maybe get them a cute top if we were at the mall. Aside from the age gap and keeping them from my personal life, it felt like a regular relationship. Including them buying me gifts. Maybe for a birthday, maybe just because. It does happen. Some of these younger girls develop feelings, and it's a difficult balance to strike with how far you let that go.
In closing, I see a lot of comments from guys questioning if the girls really cared about them at all, or if it was just about the money. My take? If you've been seeing her for years, make her laugh, put her at ease and are someone she can confide in, even if money is what drew her to you, chances are she has feelings for you too. I imagine it would take someone being quite the psychopath to have that kind of sustained, regular intimate contact with another human being and have no feelings whatsoever for them.
Of course that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.
I don't think you're wrong hunter. As I've been saying it takes all kinds there is no one personality. And furthermore what works for one person her or him doesn't have to work for somebody else and in fact many even be a turn off or show stopper. Plus some are on SA for pump and dump only others for any other reason you can think of. Like I said it's what make the world go round.
Ditto for the quasi-relationship stuff whether one keeps paying or whether one doesn't pay except for dinners, etc. At least for my input on all this it was never statements from me whether anybody cared at all (in my case they absolutely do). It was more acknowledgement and reality of the relationship you are in. Heck husbands and wifes break up all the time, bg & gf sometimes barely get past a dozen dates, many guys on here are cheating, and so on, so not being 100% is not rocket science. But not being 100% doesn't mean there wasn't, isn't and won't be anything there at all. IMO not an earth shattering thought.
Ditto for the quasi-relationship stuff whether one keeps paying or whether one doesn't pay except for dinners, etc. At least for my input on all this it was never statements from me whether anybody cared at all (in my case they absolutely do). It was more acknowledgement and reality of the relationship you are in. Heck husbands and wifes break up all the time, bg & gf sometimes barely get past a dozen dates, many guys on here are cheating, and so on, so not being 100% is not rocket science. But not being 100% doesn't mean there wasn't, isn't and won't be anything there at all. IMO not an earth shattering thought.
In almost all my longer-term, sugar-free relationships, the girls have bought me something. Sometimes it's just picking up the tab at a bar or restaurant, sometimes a stocking-stuffer equivalent gift for xmas or my (alleged) birthday. The latter often portended the end of said relationship, as it was the 1st step towards the girl wanting a more "real" relationship, even though they all knew the broad strokes of my situation (live-in, long-term SO).
Not all guys are just looking for sex. Sex is easy to come by, at least for me, right now. I'm still in shape and in my 30s. I love being at a bar with a hot piece of ass that every other guy is checking out. They don't know I paid her to be there. It's a good feeling/high. Whether I'm fucking her later or not.
Personally, I like the pursuit. Even if it costs me more both in money and time. I don't see the point of hooking up with some woman that will fuck any guy for $ 200 or $ 300. Might as well get a pro, if I'm doing that. Yes, I've been burned. But, I also had some awesome conquests.
But; to each, their own.
Personally, I like the pursuit. Even if it costs me more both in money and time. I don't see the point of hooking up with some woman that will fuck any guy for $ 200 or $ 300. Might as well get a pro, if I'm doing that. Yes, I've been burned. But, I also had some awesome conquests.
But; to each, their own.
I have had mixed success over the years on SA.
Years ago, it was better. Serious people, every meet was almost a guarantee to be real
girl looking for an arrangement.
This past time has been bad... too many pros. The best thing is that they reveal themselves
almost immediately, and it is up to you to decide what to do.
I have had my most success with city girls of Hispanic backgrounds.
They are appreciative and ready to go right away. And they are loyal! Best of all, they
don't break the bank.
One girl in the Bronx years ago ruined it for me though... First meet was $200 and a room
where we were asked to leave after 4 hours. She was beautiful and her body was amazing.
I was with her for over a year and sometimes she would not even want money. Sent pics every
day of her getting dressed or undressed, while she was shopping for sexy clothes to wear,
or just when she was at work. I lost her when she moved away...
These spoiled white girls don't do it for me. Give me an inner city Latina and I am in heaven!
Happy hunting!
Years ago, it was better. Serious people, every meet was almost a guarantee to be real
girl looking for an arrangement.
This past time has been bad... too many pros. The best thing is that they reveal themselves
almost immediately, and it is up to you to decide what to do.
I have had my most success with city girls of Hispanic backgrounds.
They are appreciative and ready to go right away. And they are loyal! Best of all, they
don't break the bank.
One girl in the Bronx years ago ruined it for me though... First meet was $200 and a room
where we were asked to leave after 4 hours. She was beautiful and her body was amazing.
I was with her for over a year and sometimes she would not even want money. Sent pics every
day of her getting dressed or undressed, while she was shopping for sexy clothes to wear,
or just when she was at work. I lost her when she moved away...
These spoiled white girls don't do it for me. Give me an inner city Latina and I am in heaven!
Happy hunting!