Strip Clubs / Reality, Separating The Two
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I guess I should say a few things to clarify some of my recent posts here.
1. I don't think it's a particularly good or desirable thing to befriend sex workers. I think that affirmative attempts to do that on behalf of the customer breach the boundaries upon which this whole business rests (and also betray an unadmirable neediness on the part of the customer).
2. I also think it's dangerous for customers to think in terms of befriending sex workers. It leaves them open to exploitation and emotional anguish.
3. I finally harbor no illusions that I'm friends with the strippers and prostitutes I see.
4. OTOH, I think it's silly to deny the possibly of such friendships' developing. I don't think it would be a bad thing if they did. And while everybody has their own sensitivities, I don't see why, as a rule, they would prevent any customer from continuing to buy sexual services from his friend.
1. I don't think it's a particularly good or desirable thing to befriend sex workers. I think that affirmative attempts to do that on behalf of the customer breach the boundaries upon which this whole business rests (and also betray an unadmirable neediness on the part of the customer).
2. I also think it's dangerous for customers to think in terms of befriending sex workers. It leaves them open to exploitation and emotional anguish.
3. I finally harbor no illusions that I'm friends with the strippers and prostitutes I see.
4. OTOH, I think it's silly to deny the possibly of such friendships' developing. I don't think it would be a bad thing if they did. And while everybody has their own sensitivities, I don't see why, as a rule, they would prevent any customer from continuing to buy sexual services from his friend.
Friends and Whores - Will the twain ever meet?
I became friendly with about 4 girls I met in the Harmony. Friendly in the sense that we would hang out and do stuff together, like go to the movies or to concerts or out to eat. The thing is, I know that once we became good friends (as opposed to just stripper/hooker and client), that they felt as uncomfortable as I did at having any type of sexual contact any longer (and in every case , we all started out doing full contact LDs at the very least). They now put me in the "friend" category, not the "client" category.
(Actually, this reminds me of the Chris Rock routine on his "Bring the Pain" special, where he talks about getting to know a woman you want to bone, and then somehow you end up trapped in the "Friend Zone", and she's not going to be giving any up to you ! )
I'm sure some of you guys out there have met women that you found attractive, but you ended up becoming platonic friends with her for whatever reason, and now, no matter how appealing you may still find her, it would be too weird to try to bang her at this point. (Or maybe you haven't ...)
I became friendly with about 4 girls I met in the Harmony. Friendly in the sense that we would hang out and do stuff together, like go to the movies or to concerts or out to eat. The thing is, I know that once we became good friends (as opposed to just stripper/hooker and client), that they felt as uncomfortable as I did at having any type of sexual contact any longer (and in every case , we all started out doing full contact LDs at the very least). They now put me in the "friend" category, not the "client" category.
(Actually, this reminds me of the Chris Rock routine on his "Bring the Pain" special, where he talks about getting to know a woman you want to bone, and then somehow you end up trapped in the "Friend Zone", and she's not going to be giving any up to you ! )
I'm sure some of you guys out there have met women that you found attractive, but you ended up becoming platonic friends with her for whatever reason, and now, no matter how appealing you may still find her, it would be too weird to try to bang her at this point. (Or maybe you haven't ...)
Originally posted by justlooking
I guess I should say a few things to clarify some of my recent posts here.
1. I don't think it's a particularly good or desirable thing to befriend sex workers. I think that affirmative attempts to do that on behalf of the customer breach the boundaries upon which this whole business rests (and also betray an unadmirable neediness on the part of the customer).
2. I also think it's dangerous for customers to think in terms of befriending sex workers. It leaves them open to exploitation and emotional anguish.
3. I finally harbor no illusions that I'm friends with the strippers and prostitutes I see.
4. OTOH, I think it's silly to deny the possibly of such friendships' developing. I don't think it would be a bad thing if they did. And while everybody has their own sensitivities, I don't see why, as a rule, they would prevent any customer from continuing to buy sexual services from his friend.
I guess I should say a few things to clarify some of my recent posts here.
1. I don't think it's a particularly good or desirable thing to befriend sex workers. I think that affirmative attempts to do that on behalf of the customer breach the boundaries upon which this whole business rests (and also betray an unadmirable neediness on the part of the customer).
2. I also think it's dangerous for customers to think in terms of befriending sex workers. It leaves them open to exploitation and emotional anguish.
3. I finally harbor no illusions that I'm friends with the strippers and prostitutes I see.
4. OTOH, I think it's silly to deny the possibly of such friendships' developing. I don't think it would be a bad thing if they did. And while everybody has their own sensitivities, I don't see why, as a rule, they would prevent any customer from continuing to buy sexual services from his friend.
friends -- without privileges
I was F***ing a girl who worked at VIPs in NYC for a while, and we ended up becoming friends after I stopped seeing her (I started a serious relationship with a girl, and felt guilty -- who knew I had a conscience!!!). I kept in touch b/c I sincerely enjoyed her company, and she was the best lay of my life! Now, almost a year later, I have given into that little cartoon devil on my shoulder, but find myseld in the friend zone. She won't give me any real action anymore, because she wants to "develop a closeness", and she won't introduce me to her dancer friends because she feels some sort of "ownership" towards me...
<<sigh>> live and learn, I guess... next time, I'll know better.
I was F***ing a girl who worked at VIPs in NYC for a while, and we ended up becoming friends after I stopped seeing her (I started a serious relationship with a girl, and felt guilty -- who knew I had a conscience!!!). I kept in touch b/c I sincerely enjoyed her company, and she was the best lay of my life! Now, almost a year later, I have given into that little cartoon devil on my shoulder, but find myseld in the friend zone. She won't give me any real action anymore, because she wants to "develop a closeness", and she won't introduce me to her dancer friends because she feels some sort of "ownership" towards me...
<<sigh>> live and learn, I guess... next time, I'll know better.
Originally posted by justlooking
I guess I should say a few things to clarify some of my recent posts here.
1. I don't think it's a particularly good or desirable thing to befriend sex workers. I think that affirmative attempts to do that on behalf of the customer breach the boundaries upon which this whole business rests (and also betray an unadmirable neediness on the part of the customer).
2. I also think it's dangerous for customers to think in terms of befriending sex workers. It leaves them open to exploitation and emotional anguish.
3. I finally harbor no illusions that I'm friends with the strippers and prostitutes I see.
4. OTOH, I think it's silly to deny the possibly of such friendships' developing. I don't think it would be a bad thing if they did. And while everybody has their own sensitivities, I don't see why, as a rule, they would prevent any customer from continuing to buy sexual services from his friend.
I guess I should say a few things to clarify some of my recent posts here.
1. I don't think it's a particularly good or desirable thing to befriend sex workers. I think that affirmative attempts to do that on behalf of the customer breach the boundaries upon which this whole business rests (and also betray an unadmirable neediness on the part of the customer).
2. I also think it's dangerous for customers to think in terms of befriending sex workers. It leaves them open to exploitation and emotional anguish.
3. I finally harbor no illusions that I'm friends with the strippers and prostitutes I see.
4. OTOH, I think it's silly to deny the possibly of such friendships' developing. I don't think it would be a bad thing if they did. And while everybody has their own sensitivities, I don't see why, as a rule, they would prevent any customer from continuing to buy sexual services from his friend.
As for the friendship preventing you from continuing to purchase their services, I think this would have to come down to each individual partie's sensitivities on the matter. I know that with the ladies that I befriended, they would have been as uncomfortable going down that path anymore as I was
Originally posted by jjhunsecker
JL - Several good points here. Guys just have to be aware that they may consider the girl a "friend", but she sees him as a meal ticket.
JL - Several good points here. Guys just have to be aware that they may consider the girl a "friend", but she sees him as a meal ticket.
This can apply to many areas. My boss thinks I think of my job as a career and all I see is getting paid so I can get more pussy! If a better job comes along with internet access I will take it.
Originally posted by jjhunsecker
If the girl is still accepting your cash for gash,
If the girl is still accepting your cash for gash,
I can imagine a scenario where you're friends, you hang out lots for free, etc. But when the time comes to fuck (because you're not lovers or anything), you're having your pro relationship and you pay her for it.
Although I generally afbjure this analogy, in that case it really is like not paying your accountant/friend to hang out with you, but still paying him to do your taxes.
Originally posted by buddyyy
I initially meet a person in his professional capacity as a Dentist and I pay him to work on my teeth.
In the process we learn that we share some other interests and in fact develop a personal friendship.
It doesn't seem that means I have to seek dental services elsewhere nor would I expect not to continue to pay for those services when I received them.
I initially meet a person in his professional capacity as a Dentist and I pay him to work on my teeth.
In the process we learn that we share some other interests and in fact develop a personal friendship.
It doesn't seem that means I have to seek dental services elsewhere nor would I expect not to continue to pay for those services when I received them.
P.S. Because of my comments regarding the dentist scenario, please do not conclude that I am an anti-dentite.
Friends vs lovers
Most guys seem to take it for granted that it is more desirable to be the lover than the friend of any and all attractive (by whatever standards of sexual attractiveness the guy has) women they know. Any other attitude is certainly not macho, and many men would consider it shameful.
At the risk of further raising my wimp/geek rating, I want to point out that I don't see it that way in all cases and don't think the conventional attitude (as I understand it and stated it above) makes much sense. Basically, I think life offers most guys more women as lovers than as significant/serious (open, trusting, loyal...) friends. Some of the most rewarding relationships of my life have been very close but platonic friendships with women; if I could do it over and have had them as lovers for a year or a few (which is probably all it would have lasted) rather than as long term friends, I would definitely stick with the friend option despite the fact that I find them quite attractive.
I think this goes double if the woman in question is a provider in that it is certainly easy to arrange sex with providers and rare to have the opportunity for a real friendship with one.
-Ww
PS - Of course, best of all may well be to have such a woman as a friend and a lover, but as this thread has noted several times, that is not an option that everyone is comfortable with.
Most guys seem to take it for granted that it is more desirable to be the lover than the friend of any and all attractive (by whatever standards of sexual attractiveness the guy has) women they know. Any other attitude is certainly not macho, and many men would consider it shameful.
At the risk of further raising my wimp/geek rating, I want to point out that I don't see it that way in all cases and don't think the conventional attitude (as I understand it and stated it above) makes much sense. Basically, I think life offers most guys more women as lovers than as significant/serious (open, trusting, loyal...) friends. Some of the most rewarding relationships of my life have been very close but platonic friendships with women; if I could do it over and have had them as lovers for a year or a few (which is probably all it would have lasted) rather than as long term friends, I would definitely stick with the friend option despite the fact that I find them quite attractive.
I think this goes double if the woman in question is a provider in that it is certainly easy to arrange sex with providers and rare to have the opportunity for a real friendship with one.
-Ww
PS - Of course, best of all may well be to have such a woman as a friend and a lover, but as this thread has noted several times, that is not an option that everyone is comfortable with.
Originally posted by jjhunsecker
I always felt that one of the main joys of commercial sex back when I used to do it (I'm pretty much retired from that game now), was that it was for me purely about pleasure, with no "emotions" necessarily involved. Basically, if I had an itch that needed to be scratched, and didn't really wanted to be bothered with the song and dance usually required to get sex from any of "regular" (non-pro) women I knew. The emotional aspects of sexuality were reseved for those I had some sort of ties with.
So once, I've established some sort of friendship with a woman and get to know her, she can no longer be ,to me at least, an anonymous commercial sex partner since we've now created some sort of emotional bond.
I always felt that one of the main joys of commercial sex back when I used to do it (I'm pretty much retired from that game now), was that it was for me purely about pleasure, with no "emotions" necessarily involved. Basically, if I had an itch that needed to be scratched, and didn't really wanted to be bothered with the song and dance usually required to get sex from any of "regular" (non-pro) women I knew. The emotional aspects of sexuality were reseved for those I had some sort of ties with.
So once, I've established some sort of friendship with a woman and get to know her, she can no longer be ,to me at least, an anonymous commercial sex partner since we've now created some sort of emotional bond.
Another thing to consider is whether the emotional bond is mutual. If it is only a service related friendship, you are not going to emotionally affect the girl no matter what you do.
Originally posted by justlooking
1. I don't think it's a particularly good or desirable thing to befriend sex workers. I think that affirmative attempts to do that on behalf of the customer breach the boundaries upon which this whole business rests (and also betray an unadmirable neediness on the part of the customer).
2. I also think it's dangerous for customers to think in terms of befriending sex workers. It leaves them open to exploitation and emotional anguish.
1. I don't think it's a particularly good or desirable thing to befriend sex workers. I think that affirmative attempts to do that on behalf of the customer breach the boundaries upon which this whole business rests (and also betray an unadmirable neediness on the part of the customer).
2. I also think it's dangerous for customers to think in terms of befriending sex workers. It leaves them open to exploitation and emotional anguish.
Re: Friends and Whores - Will the twain ever meet?
So many times.
Sometimes I don't see them as potential mates anymore because, as we got to know each other, we found we were too different. And the friendship becomes too evolved to revert to basic animal instinct.
I can think of many girls I've had crushes on that I would never feel right having sex with.
(These are non sex workers I'm thinking about)
Originally posted by jjhunsecker
I'm sure some of you guys out there have met women that you found attractive, but you ended up becoming platonic friends with her for whatever reason, and now, no matter how appealing you may still find her, it would be too weird to try to bang her at this point. (Or maybe you haven't ...)
I'm sure some of you guys out there have met women that you found attractive, but you ended up becoming platonic friends with her for whatever reason, and now, no matter how appealing you may still find her, it would be too weird to try to bang her at this point. (Or maybe you haven't ...)
Sometimes I don't see them as potential mates anymore because, as we got to know each other, we found we were too different. And the friendship becomes too evolved to revert to basic animal instinct.
I can think of many girls I've had crushes on that I would never feel right having sex with.
(These are non sex workers I'm thinking about)
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