Friends??? Who are your friends??? Friends talk. Friends need something interesting to talk about. A guy devoted to mongering is a great story. It might not be a malicious transfer of information, but great coffee talk. I keep my mouth shut 99% of the time. If I do talk, I am vague, "Before I was married, a long, long time ago, when I was a kid, back in the 70's, only once, I MIGHT have gone."
At work, somebody green was taking over, and he was married and probably had nothing or almost nothing on the side. I needed to warm up to him, as my income would have a better chance of being enhanced if we had a good relationship. He used to salivate when talking about asians. He was about 45 years old. So, when Flushing was roaring about 10 or 15 years ago, I told him I would take him to a legit spa on Friday evening.
I knew the girls there. It was semi-legit and no extras were given until they knew you REALLY REALLY well. In fact, it was more of a place for the girls to hook up with a man and become a girlfriend/boyfriend on the outside. Cute girls with only curtains and the boss ran a tight ship.
So, I called my girl ahead of time and told her I would be bringing a newbie over and I would get her (I would never share my Cici with anyone) and for her to get a pretty friend for him and absolutey no monkey business, at all. He was never touched by an asian woman before, so for a first time, it was enough for him to just get a massage. My girl was absolutely smokin' and when he saw her, he broke out in a sweat and I actually heard him pant, "Oh my God," as if he saw a vision of The Madonna. (not the singer, but the Mother of God) His girl was okay looking also.
Before going to the spa, I brought him to the chinese bakery for tea and treats and to brief him on the following activities. I let him know that this is no whorehouse. I also made it abundantly clear to "the cretin" that even though this is totally legit and nothing untoward will occur; there and no fear of a bust, and we are engaged in a totally legitimate activity. (Remember this is an office associate and you don't eat and shit in the same place. I was fully conscious of that.)
So, I tell him, "look, even though this is a totally respectable place, you know the connotations attached to Flushing and asian massage, and we don't need this being misconstrued all over the office, so better to keep this to ourselves, you know, between us guys. Because, you know, we are both married, and, you know, who needs any problems with our wives and the big guys up front, and the staff. I mean, you know, they will jump to conclusions that I brought you to a Flushing asian whorehouse, and we certainy don't need that reputation. Right, big guy?" He was all ears, nodding like a school boy in the principal's office.
So, I took about an hour with him, sipping lemon and honey tea, eating Chinese crumpets to explain this all to him, ad nauseam, ad infinitum, like I was explaining a complex engineering project. He heard me and locked eyes with mine, nodding and agreeing to each and every word I uttered, as if I was General George S. Patton delineating precisely the plans for The Battle of The Bulge.
I was confident. All bases were covered, gentleman's agreement; time to get his feet wet. We had a great time. Behind the curtian, felt up my girl a few times but told her I will see her in a few days for the sequel, and his girl kept him entertained with a kickass massage and some cute, nonsensical, innocent flirting. All is well. Had a great time. I paid for the massages and tipped both sweeties as if we had some heavy extras and they were delighted and giggling, and told him to come back any time. We left, I debriefed him. Reminded him yet again of keeping this innocent act a secret because people might misconstrue it, and he again vehemently agreed, and we parted and went separate ways in good spirits into the night.
Monday morning, the boss, who happened to be the cretin's uncle, calls me into his office looking distressed to discuss the poor judgement on my part, taking his nephew to a whorehouse. I go home to find out his wife called my wife about the same matter.
I shook my head in disbelief about how disingenuous people can be.
Far better to come to a meeting place such as this, donning an alias, amongst like-minded beings and being able to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth in a forum where one is not judged.