Musings of Mugi - otherwise interesting novella's that are only vaguely connected to the thread where he posted.

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#1
That makes sense. Maybe the ones I've spoken to are already on-track for a Green Card and need a legit-looking job?
One girl that I was heavily involved with many years ago used political asylum.

I got too involved in many of their lives and saw many interesting things. I entered into their soap operas, always trying to be a friend and a good Samaritan. But that is over now. I am in a different place. I did it and it is past. I look back at all I did and I am flabbergasted that I had the time and energy to be so pathetically involved and still work so many hours in my career and still raise a family. I was always exhausted. They were crazy days.

I left the country for a while and mercifully was allowed to break ties, see it all dissolve and view it from a distance. It was a blessing in disguise to leave. Their soap operas go on fine without my involvement.

I guess it does not matter when you wake up, as long as you do wake up.

And now, well, I still enjoy an outing. But, it is the last thing I do. Everybody that is close to me, including myself gets taken care of and is given my full support, love and attention and they are nurtured. (I guess I am making up for being split for so many years)

And, when time allows, I go back to walk the battlefields and enjoy it all almost like a past life. The crazed compulsion has dissipated. But it is still more than just a biological necessity. It is a trip down memory lane. So, to be honest, I am not free from it completely because I am still pulled in by the past.

But, if I don't go, I very POWERFULLY ENGAGE MYSELF in another activity that engages full absorption of mind, breath, body. That could be swimming, biking, hot steam, sauna, meditation, pranayama, even writing or online games like checkers/chess. (I try to stay away from scotch and such as I don't want to create another habit that must eventually be broken and too much strong liquor could be detrimental to health. But a cold beer after a hot steam is in order and beneficial and an occasional scotch is sometimes good for the soul)

The act of sex is being fully engaged with another body/mind. You can simplify that act by being fully engaged with your own body/mind. (I am not talking about masturbation but that also could be a last resort) Oftentimes it is more rewarding to employ all your faculties and be engaged by yourself. And your gained insight and calmness and power can also be used in the hobby when you so desire to partake.

The stronger you are, the less you need others. The stronger you are, the more others want to be around your pleasantness and strength.

I look at it this way, I was given the opportunity to play around like a little prince for many years. I thank God that I emerged without being destroyed because with that kind of frequency and unbridled passion, I could have ended up in the trash heap. I now take what I have learned (and much was learned) and share it with those that are near and dear to me. (And that could be just anyone in your circle. Everybody has some friends. And if you don't, share on these boards. I consider everybody on this board to be a dear friend even when they don't agree with me and give a sharp reply. That is just communication whether it be nice or nasty.) (And if I do become unpopular, well, I am only a phantom, anyway) (I do take a risk when bearing my soul but it is made possible because I have seen you guys at times drop your façade and bear your souls)

Habits are made to be broken. If the habits fail to deliver on happiness, then seek out clarity of mind and freedom.
 
#2
Wow, with a thread caption like that, and I didn't think you could do it, but you finally found a way to shut me up.

My compliments to the wisdom of the moderators.

I didn't think I could ever use this line: "I am speechless." hahaha LOL
 
#4
)
Habits are made to be broken. If the habits fail to deliver on happiness, then seek out clarity of mind and freedom.
Habits, as they say, become character. I try to be at my best for every mongering interaction. Perhaps it's my antidote for an inextricably toxic family situation where every positive action is questioned, undermined and, at best, taken for granted. My revenge is to take my goodness where it is appreciated, absurd as that must sound. Whether it's the ladies who've come to figure out exactly what I need, to the point where each time feels like the best sex ever such that a voice in my head is saying "This is truly who you are and where you need to be." Or just being sent on my way having shared my provider's dinner from home, leaving me with a feeling of being cared for, it has become an alternate and very real existence. It's also financially unsustainable and something that I can only share on the boards here. Women open up to me. I saw someone in Thailand, in her own home. I had found her through CL. After two hours she was pulling out her photo albums and papers, telling me about her Western boyfriend who she had run a business with and who had died unexpectedly not so long ago. She wasn't asking for anything from me, just opening up to a sympathetic face while her four cats circled the bed, occasionally joining us. It was kind of a shattering experience but felt like an honor at the same time. I ask myself whether this is going to be the remainder of my life or just a period that shapes me for the next stage. My exploring and spending over the last five years would probably lead friends and family to think about having me committed, if they knew. But it's where I found what I needed. Long ago, I wanted to be a writer. Maybe this is where I start.
 
#5
That's quite a story and one that is easily relatable. What comes to mind about your family life is "familiarity breeds contempt."

They typecasted you and not in a very positive role. Maybe you acted a certain way, way back when, at some point in your human life but you transformed yourself into an ever-changing upward spiraling positive happy being with great desire to fulfill yourself and explore new vistas. But the stagnant consciousness of the family has no room to allow for your transformation. They view it as phony.

Life in that environment is so stifling, and in the daily battle of gasping for air, one decides to escape for one's own welfare.

To put it simply, you outgrew them. And if they themselves were open to a new life of freedom and happiness, you could stay and teach them but if they act in a way detrimental to your flourishing and covertly seek to extinguish your light, to stay with them at this time would be akin to assassinating your soul. (possibly you can return when your transformation is more complete and you are confident and strong in your new identity)

So, you seek a life lived amongst non-judgmental people who accept you for what you are. Your happiness from just being accepted and treated fairly, magnifies and expands in the moment. Your soul shines. The ladies sense the innocence and vulnerability and feel safe, free and happy. They find a kindred soul to confess to. There is a beautiful relationship.

I might be criticized for this typecasting (but now given my own thread, seems I have carte blanche to not hold back anymore, as I did prior to a great degree) but nevertheless, especially so with women from certain Asian countries like Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Indonesia, Cambodia, et cetera you can find a certain beauty in them because they are sensitive by their upbringing and ancestors to honor and respect the spirit of life in the individual and in all of nature.

Of course, in modern times, greed and commercialism has covered that spirit, but it seems easier to peel back because the crudeness is limited to a number of decades and not entrenched for so many centuries. They were simple native people, joyful to have a bowl of rice (the seed of a grass growing in water) and a few vegetables, wooden chopsticks and to be happy working the fields and living in a straw hut with family, surrounded by friends.

Their simple, uncomplicated spirit allows you to feel safe amongst them and they with you. And during sex, your actions exemplify your nature, your spirit, your harmony, your happiness and not being able to put it in words, a gush of feelings come forth, telling the history of this Asian flower and her ancestors. And it is very poetic, harmonious, simple, lovely and definitely a vibe to enjoy. The more ancient Asian spirit that comes to the fore especially during mating is honor and respect to the male and appreciation for his presence and power. And the male appreciates her absolute vulnerability and loveliness.

In Asia it is described as yin/yang and until recent history the extreme polarities -- the differences between the sexes was accentuated and celebrated. So, the attraction was absolutely, undeniably magnetic. Seems nowadays in modern cultures the differences between man and women are being obliterated and a more androgynous being emerges.

My dear friend, Leobloom, you are not at all insane but in reality completely sane. You are following your heart and your bliss as opposed to chasing convention and popular culture.

To foster your awakening: non religious spiritual work abounds on YouTube, the likes of Eckhart Tolle, Rupert Spira, Sadhguru and so many, many others or even religious works. Or just time by yourself at the beach, out in nature, writing, breathing, meditating, concentrating, hot steams, saunas, baths, bowling, music, loving yourself, anything that you enjoy.

A classic simple novel concerning this phenomenon was read by most high school sophomores when I was a youth, "Siddhartha" by the brilliant Herman Hesse. It is a free book on the internet.

In other words, just finding ways to magnify this new birth of spirit seeking expression through your being. It desires you to find happiness and completeness.

March on Brave Soldier.
 
#6
Seeing a provider who I am very fond of, is a definitely a way of filling the void not fulfilled through family and friends, and of course my own personal failings. Has anyone ever wanted to just do a dump of your whole history to a total stranger? Other than forums like this, where can you feel safe to discuss this thing? I have been wanting to do an exchange with this provider, where we discuss our history and beginnings in this thing. Maybe it's much too stressful?
 
#7
Seeing a provider who I am very fond of, is a definitely a way of filling the void not fulfilled through family and friends, and of course my own personal failings. Has anyone ever wanted to just do a dump of your whole history to a total stranger? Other than forums like this, where can you feel safe to discuss this thing? I have been wanting to do an exchange with this provider, where we discuss our history and beginnings in this thing. Maybe it's much too stressful?
In my experience I have found sharing certain personal information and life experiences with a few very select companions can be very emotionally fulfilling.I have done it and often find myself in a good ‘place’ when thinking about that past visit and barring my soul..For me, it’s not just about the sex
 
#8
I think doing a personal history dump would be interesting to do with both a provider(woman), monger(man), civilian never participated(woman), civilian never participated(man). This would provide all angles of feedback to assess, judge, and put things in some prospective. The key to this is finding total strangers, who would never be able to leak your story, so you would be thorough and not holding things back.
(BTW sorry for mooching in Mugi's area)
 
#9
I think doing a personal history dump would be interesting to do with both a provider(woman), monger(man), civilian never participated(woman), civilian never participated(man). This would provide all angles of feedback to assess, judge, and put things in some prospective. The key to this is finding total strangers, who would never be able to leak your story, so you would be thorough and not holding things back.
(BTW sorry for mooching in Mugi's area)
Not at all. Please mooch. I thrive on your experiences and points of view. I never even thought of being open and honest on this board until I saw some of you guys dropping the veneer. I thought "Wow, what an opportunity to be completely honest and forthright and the possibility of walking away unburdened and freer, ready to peel away another layer.

Please indulge me.

I mentioned the book, "Siddhartha." I read it many times. Starts out a young man, gifted with good looks, intelligence, social status, well-trained by family traditions, studied scholarly works with his father and teachers, wealth, good family, destined to rise to amazing heights. Leaves home in his teens against his parents' wishes. A true rebel at heart. Endures great hardships in an attempt to find the truth. Fails. Wanders. Meets up with a beautiful courtesan, a prostitute but one of the highest order, surrounded by wealth, property, servants, opulence. He gazes at her from outside her "queendom." She can't deny her attraction to this intense, handsome man but he is penniless. She lets him know that if he wants her time, he must acquire wealth and present to her gifts and act and dress like a man of means. The young man was smart enough and capable enough to accumulate wealth and power and even exceed those around him. He becomes her exclusive. The man grows in wealth and power and social status and now includes drinking wines and heavy meals of meat and fish, gambling, orgies, falling unconscious.

He becomes a big time powerful player. Eventually feels sickened by it all, runs away and meets a river and contemplates suicide due to the debauchery in his life. Meets a simple man by the river, an oarsman, a ferryman, an honest man. He pours out his soul and chaotic life and suicidal thoughts to the ferryman for many hours into the night, he unleashed his gloom, his pain, his dissatisfaction. But it was the way in which the ferryman listened to the tortured soul. The wise old ferryman listened with an open, waiting soul, without judgment, criticism or condemnation. The man confessed on-and-on in this utterly safe space under the moon, by the river to a pure soul. And by the end of his confession, his past was history and he was able to fully embark on a new life.

It might be difficult to find such an open, waiting, humble, non-judgmental listener. It actually used to be my wife, for me. Then I found that instead of listening with an open, non judgmental soul, she was carefully gathering, storing, categorizing and cataloging my faults and failures and using them as ammunition in future marital spats. Again, "familiarity breeds contempt."

But if you can find such a person or format to unload your past in order to get off on the right foot, unburdened and ready to create a new life, it is a very useful exercise for a human being to engage in. (I say "human being" because my dog never seemed to be bothered by the past. He was always present and happy. Guilt seems to be a human invention.)
 
#10
Not at all. Please mooch. I thrive on your experiences and points of view. I never even thought of being open and honest on this board until I saw some of you guys dropping the veneer. I thought "Wow, what an opportunity to be completely honest and forthright and the possibility of walking away unburdened and freer, ready to peel away another layer.

Please indulge me.

I mentioned the book, "Siddhartha." I read it many times. Starts out a young man, gifted with good looks, intelligence, social status, well-trained by family traditions, studied scholarly works with his father and teachers, wealth, good family, destined to rise to amazing heights. Leaves home in his teens against his parents' wishes. A true rebel at heart. Endures great hardships in an attempt to find the truth. Fails. Wanders. Meets up with a beautiful courtesan, a prostitute but one of the highest order, surrounded by wealth, property, servants, opulence. He gazes at her from outside her "queendom." She can't deny her attraction to this intense, handsome man but he is penniless. She lets him know that if he wants her time, he must acquire wealth and present to her gifts and act and dress like a man of means. The young man was smart enough and capable enough to accumulate wealth and power and even exceed those around him. He becomes her exclusive. The man grows in wealth and power and social status and now includes drinking wines and heavy meals of meat and fish, gambling, orgies, falling unconscious.

He becomes a big time powerful player. Eventually feels sickened by it all, runs away and meets a river and contemplates suicide due to the debauchery in his life. Meets a simple man by the river, an oarsman, a ferryman, an honest man. He pours out his soul and chaotic life and suicidal thoughts to the ferryman for many hours into the night, he unleashed his gloom, his pain, his dissatisfaction. But it was the way in which the ferryman listened to the tortured soul. The wise old ferryman listened with an open, waiting soul, without judgment, criticism or condemnation. The man confessed on-and-on in this utterly safe space under the moon, by the river to a pure soul. And by the end of his confession, his past was history and he was able to fully embark on a new life.

It might be difficult to find such an open, waiting, humble, non-judgmental listener. It actually used to be my wife, for me. Then I found that instead of listening with an open, non judgmental soul, she was carefully gathering, storing, categorizing and cataloging my faults and failures and using them as ammunition in future marital spats. Again, "familiarity breeds contempt."

But if you can find such a person or format to unload your past in order to get off on the right foot, unburdened and ready to create a new life, it is a very useful exercise for a human being to engage in. (I say "human being" because my dog never seemed to be bothered by the past. He was always present and happy. Guilt seems to be a human invention.)
I will pick up a copy of Siddhartha for a couple of bucks and put it in the queue to read. Thanks for mentioning it. I've heard of both the book and author. I am unsure if I had read anything of his during school days.

From childhood on, the sight of a beautiful woman, has evoked a "cocaine hydrogen bomb" going off in my nervous system. They really get my attention, in other words. So, patience, morality, restraint, discretion went out the window early on, once I was introduced to this thing. Left the game for quite a long while, but am back again. It's a vastly different thing now with internet, cell phones, and Asian providers mostly around. No more buying Screw Magazine, and using public pay phones.
 
#11
Not at all. Please mooch. I thrive on your experiences and points of view. I never even thought of being open and honest on this board until I saw some of you guys dropping the veneer. I thought "Wow, what an opportunity to be completely honest and forthright and the possibility of walking away unburdened and freer, ready to peel away another layer.

Please indulge me.

I mentioned the book, "Siddhartha." I read it many times. Starts out a young man, gifted with good looks, intelligence, social status, well-trained by family traditions, studied scholarly works with his father and teachers, wealth, good family, destined to rise to amazing heights. Leaves home in his teens against his parents' wishes. A true rebel at heart. Endures great hardships in an attempt to find the truth. Fails. Wanders. Meets up with a beautiful courtesan, a prostitute but one of the highest order, surrounded by wealth, property, servants, opulence. He gazes at her from outside her "queendom." She can't deny her attraction to this intense, handsome man but he is penniless. She lets him know that if he wants her time, he must acquire wealth and present to her gifts and act and dress like a man of means. The young man was smart enough and capable enough to accumulate wealth and power and even exceed those around him. He becomes her exclusive. The man grows in wealth and power and social status and now includes drinking wines and heavy meals of meat and fish, gambling, orgies, falling unconscious.

He becomes a big time powerful player. Eventually feels sickened by it all, runs away and meets a river and contemplates suicide due to the debauchery in his life. Meets a simple man by the river, an oarsman, a ferryman, an honest man. He pours out his soul and chaotic life and suicidal thoughts to the ferryman for many hours into the night, he unleashed his gloom, his pain, his dissatisfaction. But it was the way in which the ferryman listened to the tortured soul. The wise old ferryman listened with an open, waiting soul, without judgment, criticism or condemnation. The man confessed on-and-on in this utterly safe space under the moon, by the river to a pure soul. And by the end of his confession, his past was history and he was able to fully embark on a new life.

It might be difficult to find such an open, waiting, humble, non-judgmental listener. It actually used to be my wife, for me. Then I found that instead of listening with an open, non judgmental soul, she was carefully gathering, storing, categorizing and cataloging my faults and failures and using them as ammunition in future marital spats. Again, "familiarity breeds contempt."

But if you can find such a person or format to unload your past in order to get off on the right foot, unburdened and ready to create a new life, it is a very useful exercise for a human being to engage in. (I say "human being" because my dog never seemed to be bothered by the past. He was always present and happy. Guilt seems to be a human invention.)
Nice musing lol! I was fortunate enough to meet a spectacular woman during an encounter. The asian culture is much different and sharing our perspectives on things changed me permanently. Unfortunately i was not completely honest from the beginning and it definitely created some distance. It still is a great experience. Fortunately they understand men are pigs lol. Im sure it will mend as time goes on (maybe) but regardless of the outcome im glad we met. Some of these women as you know are really incredible. Delusional? Nope. These women HAVE to honor thier commitment to family/ children back home. Cant do that as a cashier at the market. They are more responsible than some deadbeat dads lol.
Will see how this saga plays out. In the meantime i will just enjoy the ride.
 
#12
I will pick up a copy of Siddhartha for a couple of bucks and put it in the queue to read. Thanks for mentioning it. I've heard of both the book and author. I am unsure if I had read anything of his during school days.

From childhood on, the sight of a beautiful woman, has evoked a "cocaine hydrogen bomb" going off in my nervous system. They really get my attention, in other words. So, patience, morality, restraint, discretion went out the window early on, once I was introduced to this thing. Left the game for quite a long while, but am back again. It's a vastly different thing now with internet, cell phones, and Asian providers mostly around. No more buying Screw Magazine, and using public pay phones.
Below is a site for a free download of Siddhartha.
Many Blessings.

http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/2500
 
#13
Nice musing lol! I was fortunate enough to meet a spectacular woman during an encounter. The asian culture is much different and sharing our perspectives on things changed me permanently. Unfortunately i was not completely honest from the beginning and it definitely created some distance. It still is a great experience. Fortunately they understand men are pigs lol. Im sure it will mend as time goes on (maybe) but regardless of the outcome im glad we met. Some of these women as you know are really incredible. Delusional? Nope. These women HAVE to honor thier commitment to family/ children back home. Cant do that as a cashier at the market. They are more responsible than some deadbeat dads lol.
Will see how this saga plays out. In the meantime i will just enjoy the ride.
An intimate affair with an unspoiled, non-jaded Asian flower (or any woman that matches your temperment) can really quell the mind and expand your ever-loving heart.

After a recent beautiful, loving and highly sexual (but also highly loving) encounter with a very open and generous Vietnamese young lady, my sense of well-being and calmness was highly elevated and introduced just a feeling of belonging to this earth and understanding my world around me.

The afterglow has given me the ability to smile at strangers with an open loving heart and understanding their plight and that their tight rigid faces and posture is caused by a lack of love and ease in their life.

Making love in a safe space between two loving, open, happy souls is a very great ceremony to be appreciated and respected. Many diseases stem from unhappiness, rigidity and a life vacant of love and happiness.

Mutual respect is a key factor.
 
#15
As dangerous as say Corona? never had a problem at any of the bars there but then again only went daytime. Most of the girls were shuttled from Queens and Bronx. Now I haven't gone in two years so things might have changed but I doubt it.
Bridgeport at one time was a huge industrial town with over 500 factories, and entertainment that spilled over from NYC. After WW2, it declined rapidly. GE left acres and acres of huge factories to just rot there for about 50 years. Many slums, drugs, killings. I was around there in the 70's and AMPS started pouring in. Also a lot of cultures that apparently enjoyed eating cat and dog meat. Anyway, most of the pets that walked the streets were disappearing in Bridgeport. They did show up eventually, though, (thank God) skinned and butchered in the freezers of the local restaurants. (yum-yum) When I went back a few years back, they cleaned it up quite a bit. All the strip bars seemed gone and I could not find one AMP. But growing up as a kid, a lot of gangs and mob presence. My buddies who thrived on drinking, drugs, fighting and sex used Bridgeport as their playground. I could easily forego the first three and enjoy the fourth.
 
#16
I did not know Bridgeport's past; thank you for the history lesson. I first stumbled upon it in the late 90's and found it fresh and appealing after NYC succumbed to Guliani's regime. I would make a bi-weekly trek that would take 50 minutes door to door back then. Now its a 1-1/2 hour trip at least. Teddies,Keystone,Bar-R, Panchos were some of the spots that unfortunately met their demise.
 
#17
I will pick up a copy of Siddhartha for a couple of bucks and put it in the queue to read. Thanks for mentioning it. I've heard of both the book and author. I am unsure if I had read anything of his during school days.

From childhood on, the sight of a beautiful woman, has evoked a "cocaine hydrogen bomb" going off in my nervous system. They really get my attention, in other words. So, patience, morality, restraint, discretion went out the window early on, once I was introduced to this thing. Left the game for quite a long while, but am back again. It's a vastly different thing now with internet, cell phones, and Asian providers mostly around. No more buying Screw Magazine, and using public pay phones.
Siddhartha was an interesting story and matched your description. It was easy to read, and I burned right through it to see what would happen next. I took away some spiritual things from it (the art of thinking, of waiting, of fasting) and additionally some maxims. e.g. Knowledge can be conveyed, but not wisdom.
 
#18
Oh, I didn't know the authenticity of The Washington Times, nor did I know that Reverend Sun Myung Moon was behind them.

Incidentally, possibly The Reverend is partly responsible for my Asian fetish. In the 70's and 80's he owned a lot of property in NYC, including a gigantic hotel on the corner of 8th and 34th which he turned into housing for all of his faithful. Thousands of young Korean and Japanese beauties flooded the area and he matched and married them in a huge marriage ceremony in Madison Square Garden and he loved to intermingle races. But you had to be a member of the Moonies and go through Moonie Boot Camp to get inside and mingle with the beauties. I liked religion anyway and went pretty deep into training and traveled with them.

I actually loved Moon's philosophy called "The Divine Principle." Definitely Christian but with a very heavy Asian twist on it. But I exited when my fate was to be matched with a beauty but ordered to toil off the land on a radish farm. (you had to take orders within the Moonies' organization and it had a sort of military hierarchy)

So, possibly their news is slanted in disfavor of communism. I know that CNN commented but more about the unfortunate timing for China to find themselves in this predicament, right after being weakened by the trade wars and then another hit of grander proportions. Another news bureau, CCN wrote an article about the lab leak and for the dyslexic, it could be mistaken for the former.

Many rumors abound and nobody can prove the source of the virus. But these wet markets are pretty gruesome, resembling the automobile junk yards by CitiField, only not selling tires and fixing dents but live killings of wild animals, raccoons, civets, snakes, rats, bats, mice and almost any critter and Asia has more wet markets than McDonalds. So, it is indeed coincidence that the Wuhan wet market be the epicenter of the virus when it is located only a few miles from the known bio labs.

You will never know the severity of the situation but the panic is widespread and of huge proportion.

There is another counter-theory proposed by the China side that the USA planted the virus.

Of course, almost all agree, try and quell the human death and suffering and lay the blame later. But China will definitely be called upon by the world community to provide heretofore unknown evidence about any covert virus activities. Especially given the fact that the virus seems to have characteristics that are not natural like the prior SARS virus. I am by no means a virologist and it will come down to a battle of the experts to determine if in fact this virus was a naturally occurring one harbored in wild animal flesh or one that was magnified biologically to cause quick and lethal injury or damage to the human organism.

Only time will tell and there is no need to jump to conclusions. In today's science-based culture, the truth will become inevitably revealed as long as a deal to suppress information is not entered into by the superpowers for mutual power and financial gains.
 
#19
Siddhartha was an interesting story and matched your description. It was easy to read, and I burned right through it to see what would happen next. I took away some spiritual things from it (the art of thinking, of waiting, of fasting) and additionally some maxims. e.g. Knowledge can be conveyed, but not wisdom.
I am so pleased that you enjoyed the reading. Hermann Hesse was a brilliant writer. I have had the privilege of using some of his works for teaching purposes. There is a very short story by Hesse entitled "Klein and Wagner." A commentary states: " The most ruthless of Hesse's many self-exposures." I have read it quite a few times and literally had to pinch myself to bring myself back to this world. Hesse's works are so deeply psychological and spiritual that he transports the reader on an inner journey.

He was a man that struggled not only with the rules imposed by society, parents, teachers, religion but also with the madness in his own mind. He seems to have been able to finish his journey through the psychological depths of the mind and emerge into an experience of the unfettered Spirit. And mostly all of his writings reflect his wisdom of knowing both worlds.

Thank you for getting back to me, Headsup.
 
#20
I mentioned in another thread, one lonely night in Asia a couple of nights ago, I had a rushed session with a young lady and was walking to public transportation dejected.

I was met by a lady that I enjoyed many prior lovely long sessions with that went far beyond the session time and spilled over into dinner and an invitation to just spend the night as an accommodation because of the late hour.

She approached me and I told her I already had my time down the street but wished her a Happy New Year. She asked if I wanted to spend time together and I let her know I was low on cash and no time. She told me if I have a little time for her, forget the cash or just give her a little something for New Years. She looked lonely and in need of some love, tenderness and friendship and quite frankly I needed some, too. But I kind of wished I was a little more astute and avoided her. Because for me, once is enough.

Anyway, we got into the elevator, away from people and the old memories of the times we had re-emerged and I aggressively groped her and ravished her in the elevator which she giggled and loved to no end. (you know, there are people you just fit well with) I just sensed in her a feeling to be loved and to relate to another human being that shared mutual compatibility.

So, we got started and it went from warm to a warmer lovemaking for a long while, about 40 minutes in our usual positions. But I sensed she needed a lot that night. No quickie here whatsoever or her disappointment would be shattering to the both of us. This lady, this night wanted long-time loving. Well into the hour and she was just warming up.

Her looks, no raving beauty but well-taken care of girlish figure, simple, plain, about maybe 41. But her endurance and flexibility knows no limits and you wouldn't know it by looking at her.

So, after she warms up in cow girl and mish and side insertion, she goes into reverse cow girl. But here is where it gets kind of yogic and tantric. In cow girl, her upper torso fully prostrated where her entire abdomen, chest and face lay flat on my legs and her hands reaching to hold my feet and kissing my legs and feet. Unbelievable dexterity. And all the while in that position for almost another hour, never breaking rhythmic grinding and exhibiting orgasms in a variety of ways with shivers and short jerks and never volcanic but a constant array of delights.

Now, for me, I of course never see her face again but only have a view of her ass riding my member like a well-oiled piston with absolutely no rest and building momentum. I had to reach out and grab her fanny cheeks to slow it down a bit to keep myself from erupting. When she sensed my near eruption, she gave me a sign to call it back because mama needs more and more and a lot more.

At one point, I wondered how is that condom holding up? But the view for me of the ass totally bent down and taking junior with it was a very exciting and unique vantage point. I contributed some thrusts which added fuel to her fire. With her face in the mattress by now, she mumbled in Chinese, from what I could hear, "my sweetheart."

I can't say I was tired because it was her show. She was doing it all but it was getting late. I let her go for a while longer and get a few more orgasms because she has difficulty getting off the runway but once she is flying she loves to stay in flight for a long time, being that she seldom has the opportunity to get off the ground. And I just really felt that she so needed the attention as sometimes I need it and that just a few hours earlier, I was in need of it from the younger provider but denied.

It was just so karmic, going from dissatisfaction to maximum satisfaction and fulfillment.

Anyway, you know, I am also engaged in the thread "How do you guys stop?" And that is a real desire for me to be free from it all and I have slowed down quite a bit but I still need to enjoy the activities sometimes. I am not ready for a wholesale relinquishment at this moment.

But after this session and the incredible intensity of it all, the length of it, the visuals of just pure unadulterated "fucking" with full view of ass bent over and riding, I realized that it just can't really get better than this. I had it all, really. And the fear of disease and possibly breaking a condom and quite honestly, the fear of living up to repeat performances and remaining hard for thousands of reps for multiple hours and coupled with the fact that I am no spring chicken but an old rooster brings me to contemplate being satisfied with my 45 year legacy of sort of living on the edge and preparing to end the cycle while I am still healthy.

And, so, the lady dismounts and I look at her with great love and compassion knowing she got what she needed and was satisfied (but she would have gone on for another 2 hours, easily) and she looked at me with joy and gratitude and I praised her as being the best fuck on the face of the earth and she felt my sincerity and she knew it anyway.

We took a shower. She asked me to stay. She put her baggy non-sexy teddy-bear pajamas on and said she was calling it quits for the night. How could I not give her enough money to make her smile and validate her worth and she giggled and put her hands together in a prayerful manner.

To tell you the truth, I might be good for a while. Maybe not forever but for a while. I certainly am not foolish enough to try and replicate that experience. Let the satisfaction sink in and serve me well. I am not willing to be a slave to the hobby. Leave that for the young bucks.
 
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