That makes sense. Maybe the ones I've spoken to are already on-track for a Green Card and need a legit-looking job?
I got too involved in many of their lives and saw many interesting things. I entered into their soap operas, always trying to be a friend and a good Samaritan. But that is over now. I am in a different place. I did it and it is past. I look back at all I did and I am flabbergasted that I had the time and energy to be so pathetically involved and still work so many hours in my career and still raise a family. I was always exhausted. They were crazy days.
I left the country for a while and mercifully was allowed to break ties, see it all dissolve and view it from a distance. It was a blessing in disguise to leave. Their soap operas go on fine without my involvement.
I guess it does not matter when you wake up, as long as you do wake up.
And now, well, I still enjoy an outing. But, it is the last thing I do. Everybody that is close to me, including myself gets taken care of and is given my full support, love and attention and they are nurtured. (I guess I am making up for being split for so many years)
And, when time allows, I go back to walk the battlefields and enjoy it all almost like a past life. The crazed compulsion has dissipated. But it is still more than just a biological necessity. It is a trip down memory lane. So, to be honest, I am not free from it completely because I am still pulled in by the past.
But, if I don't go, I very POWERFULLY ENGAGE MYSELF in another activity that engages full absorption of mind, breath, body. That could be swimming, biking, hot steam, sauna, meditation, pranayama, even writing or online games like checkers/chess. (I try to stay away from scotch and such as I don't want to create another habit that must eventually be broken and too much strong liquor could be detrimental to health. But a cold beer after a hot steam is in order and beneficial and an occasional scotch is sometimes good for the soul)
The act of sex is being fully engaged with another body/mind. You can simplify that act by being fully engaged with your own body/mind. (I am not talking about masturbation but that also could be a last resort) Oftentimes it is more rewarding to employ all your faculties and be engaged by yourself. And your gained insight and calmness and power can also be used in the hobby when you so desire to partake.
The stronger you are, the less you need others. The stronger you are, the more others want to be around your pleasantness and strength.
I look at it this way, I was given the opportunity to play around like a little prince for many years. I thank God that I emerged without being destroyed because with that kind of frequency and unbridled passion, I could have ended up in the trash heap. I now take what I have learned (and much was learned) and share it with those that are near and dear to me. (And that could be just anyone in your circle. Everybody has some friends. And if you don't, share on these boards. I consider everybody on this board to be a dear friend even when they don't agree with me and give a sharp reply. That is just communication whether it be nice or nasty.) (And if I do become unpopular, well, I am only a phantom, anyway) (I do take a risk when bearing my soul but it is made possible because I have seen you guys at times drop your façade and bear your souls)
Habits are made to be broken. If the habits fail to deliver on happiness, then seek out clarity of mind and freedom.