So I decided this week to give it a break. I just couldn't find anything appealing and just tired of the BS. Shut the burner off. So three days pass and I get the itch to check out some ads. But I'm telling myself nothing is gonna happen. Then I see an ad of a regular number i go to and the girl i wanted a 2nd round with is actually working. Then I turn on the phone and the number text me the night before telling me the girl is back and available. I'm like fuck well I need a 2nd time. So what I do? I just had to smash it. But I seriously need to slow down. If I can just maybe do it once a month instead of 3 to 4 times a week I will be straight.
How do you guys stop?
- Thread starter keepitcovered
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For me, the physical side of the addiction is far easier to handle than the mental\emotional side of the addiction. Rub one out and you save a trip and a fistful of money. When it is purely a physical need, I almost always (almost always) opt to rub it out because if the physical semen backup release need is so severe, and the semen is almost oozing out before the first kiss, then it is just a waste of money because there is no quality sex-time. Might as well rub it out and go on a day when I can have a full experience.
But the mental/emotional visits are the real addiction. Those are the times when I am going for the ego, for validation, for approval, to make my mark, to be known and noticed, to touch and be touched, to be appreciated, to feel human, to relate, to touch youth, the culmination of every thwarted sexual desire imposed by the hundreds of beauties passed by in life that were positively off-limits-- REVENGE!!!!! (sounds psycho but upon first touch of her ass after a long hiatus from sex, I have often blurted out "Oh My God, finally!!!!")
When the latter is the reason for going, a rub-out only forestalls the visit.
In the journey for sobriety, one must analyze one's own psychological make-up. It might be different than your neighbor's.
Sometimes you have to give a dog a bone to appease him. In the same way, I sometimes need to be given a beauty for satisfaction when the need becomes apparent to me and possibly might be interfering with the rest of my life.
And for the rest of the times when the suggestion arises in my mind to go, I view them as just meandering sex thoughts and I don't have to act upon them and make visits. If I reacted to every sex impulse with every lovely creature I have ever seen, I would have been physically destroyed by my 30th birthday.
But the mental/emotional visits are the real addiction. Those are the times when I am going for the ego, for validation, for approval, to make my mark, to be known and noticed, to touch and be touched, to be appreciated, to feel human, to relate, to touch youth, the culmination of every thwarted sexual desire imposed by the hundreds of beauties passed by in life that were positively off-limits-- REVENGE!!!!! (sounds psycho but upon first touch of her ass after a long hiatus from sex, I have often blurted out "Oh My God, finally!!!!")
When the latter is the reason for going, a rub-out only forestalls the visit.
In the journey for sobriety, one must analyze one's own psychological make-up. It might be different than your neighbor's.
Sometimes you have to give a dog a bone to appease him. In the same way, I sometimes need to be given a beauty for satisfaction when the need becomes apparent to me and possibly might be interfering with the rest of my life.
And for the rest of the times when the suggestion arises in my mind to go, I view them as just meandering sex thoughts and I don't have to act upon them and make visits. If I reacted to every sex impulse with every lovely creature I have ever seen, I would have been physically destroyed by my 30th birthday.
I agree with Mugi. The emotional release is what I want and what I pay for. I pay for the fantasy. The providers I see and the ones I become “addicted” to are the ones that can fulfill my fantasy.
I want a provider to be enthusiastic and tell me how great I am. How big my little guy is, and I want them to shake when they come. When we are done, I want them laying on me in a panting heap. Is it all an act? Are they faking it? As I type this after my first cup of coffee, I have to admit that yes it most likely is. But a really good provider can make you forget that you are paying. Make you believe that you alone among their many clients are the only one who can make them climax like that. It is the ego boost I crave. It is the ego boost I am addicted to.
I want a provider to be enthusiastic and tell me how great I am. How big my little guy is, and I want them to shake when they come. When we are done, I want them laying on me in a panting heap. Is it all an act? Are they faking it? As I type this after my first cup of coffee, I have to admit that yes it most likely is. But a really good provider can make you forget that you are paying. Make you believe that you alone among their many clients are the only one who can make them climax like that. It is the ego boost I crave. It is the ego boost I am addicted to.
I just want to bust a nut and get out, I am not looking at it for an ego boost. I mean honestly, anything a provider says to you in the more positive light has to be taken with a grain of salt. "OMG your the best I have ever had!" LMAO, I know damn straight she full of shit. Its all dollar signs, the more they can pump that ego up, the better chance they have at making you a repeat customer and making more money off you. They want you to fall for them. I would chuckle all the time when I would read that "Mandy" thread, man she had some of her customers eating out her hand. Some would wifey that one up in a second if they could. Bunch of Romeo's thinking they her number 1, that she goes home and thinks about you at night. Sorry, all she and most providers are doing is counting your money. I am sure some on here would digress, and claim they have a "real" connection - NEVER make a ho a housewife.
Its a hustle, straight up. This isn't "Pretty Woman" I'm no Richard Gere, and I haven't banged out any Julia Roberts looking providers in my travels. Its strictly a release, a desire for "The Strange", variety IS the spice of life. Its also never been a "hunt" for me, I am paying them to get me off and get out. I've read many posts where mongers mention the "hunt". Its more like pick and choose in my opinion. It's like going through a drive thru, pick what you want, pay for it, smash it, and move on until the hunger returns. A hunt for me would be a conquest, that dime piece you've been wanting forever, so you slowly work her until finally your up in her. That's a hunt, thats a conquest. These providers provide no "real" hunt. Come fuck my mouth/pussy, pay me, leave. That's like shooting fish in a barrel in my opinion. I guess the streetwalkers would fall more into that "hunt" category, but not these women posting online. That's too easy, and that's what I am looking for personally, get in, get out.
"Stray Cats Strut....."
Its a hustle, straight up. This isn't "Pretty Woman" I'm no Richard Gere, and I haven't banged out any Julia Roberts looking providers in my travels. Its strictly a release, a desire for "The Strange", variety IS the spice of life. Its also never been a "hunt" for me, I am paying them to get me off and get out. I've read many posts where mongers mention the "hunt". Its more like pick and choose in my opinion. It's like going through a drive thru, pick what you want, pay for it, smash it, and move on until the hunger returns. A hunt for me would be a conquest, that dime piece you've been wanting forever, so you slowly work her until finally your up in her. That's a hunt, thats a conquest. These providers provide no "real" hunt. Come fuck my mouth/pussy, pay me, leave. That's like shooting fish in a barrel in my opinion. I guess the streetwalkers would fall more into that "hunt" category, but not these women posting online. That's too easy, and that's what I am looking for personally, get in, get out.
"Stray Cats Strut....."
If every trip to a provider would feel like a gamble, with stress, and a mystery about what you'll get, your trips would probably be mostly for physical needs. To scratch an itch, for relief, to end a frustration possibly. If you are going to someone you know and really like, who has been nice to you, it is a mix of mental and physical need. Even though the money is still exchanged, your fantasy is much more enhanced, where you feel more things, and possibly end up as friends
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There was some kind of trouble at my favorite UTR place. They closed for a few days and not all the girls are coming back. I got in touch with my ATF who had been there. She was terse and gave me to understand that she wasn't going back. Then she let me know that the number I had used would be changing. So I wrote back that I understood where she was coming from (i.e. I wouldn't be in touch). I also added some nice true things about what she had done for me. I said that I hoped it had been ok (have to be realistic) for her, too. I got the warmest possible response, including her new number. Since I'll be out of commission for a few months, there wasn't any "so where can I see you now". We left it that we're staying in touch and may get together, even just for a meal. Of course, money is/was/will be part of the equation, but that doesn't negate what I feel to be a connection.
I posted earlier and detailed how I started,stopped and started again. Also said you could never stop.
however, with the state of the hobby now it’s making it easier to stop. Tough finding good leads, when you do they are pictures from 10 yrs ago,etc.
Now, I got a text that Kari Karina was retiring from the business. She was a fun time and was close by. I am now down to one trusted provider. Sophia Belle.
Once she retires or stops coming up I believe that will put an end to everything. It’s not worth blowing 120-200 on some of the ladies that advertise. At least with Sophia she is down to earth and treats you like friend and not an ATM.
so through attrition and not wanting to take chances might be the answer.
however, with the state of the hobby now it’s making it easier to stop. Tough finding good leads, when you do they are pictures from 10 yrs ago,etc.
Now, I got a text that Kari Karina was retiring from the business. She was a fun time and was close by. I am now down to one trusted provider. Sophia Belle.
Once she retires or stops coming up I believe that will put an end to everything. It’s not worth blowing 120-200 on some of the ladies that advertise. At least with Sophia she is down to earth and treats you like friend and not an ATM.
so through attrition and not wanting to take chances might be the answer.
Not sure why I began reading this thread, but once started, binge-read all 13 pages. Such introspection was not what I expected.
Now curious. Are there stages to this hobby? I still have the rose-colored glasses on, enjoying my time with and looking forward to the next. When do you go from exhilaration to feeling burned out?
Now curious. Are there stages to this hobby? I still have the rose-colored glasses on, enjoying my time with and looking forward to the next. When do you go from exhilaration to feeling burned out?
This is a good question...
Stages to the hobby are defined individually..imho... they can be affected by ongoing availability of quality talent, disposable income. Age, sex drive, ability to sneak away, locale etc... For me, who is gently AARP,
Quality talent is diminishing and like you, i will only stick to a regular who is a sure thing..
My disposable income varies and I’ll find myself spending a few hundred to a few thousand a month depending on cash flow...when I travel, I find myself like a kid in a candy store ordering a new treat every day, sometimes two for up to a week in a row.. It gets expensive, but the variation is insatiable. The ability for me to host adds to that..
There are some on the board here who seem to be on the hunt everyday for a SA girl and would partake daily... Bless them, lol for I do not have the energy to do so, nor weed out the nutbags on some of those sites
Stages to the hobby are defined individually..imho... they can be affected by ongoing availability of quality talent, disposable income. Age, sex drive, ability to sneak away, locale etc... For me, who is gently AARP,
Quality talent is diminishing and like you, i will only stick to a regular who is a sure thing..
My disposable income varies and I’ll find myself spending a few hundred to a few thousand a month depending on cash flow...when I travel, I find myself like a kid in a candy store ordering a new treat every day, sometimes two for up to a week in a row.. It gets expensive, but the variation is insatiable. The ability for me to host adds to that..
There are some on the board here who seem to be on the hunt everyday for a SA girl and would partake daily... Bless them, lol for I do not have the energy to do so, nor weed out the nutbags on some of those sites
Its not even getting burned out. Its just there may come a time when you feel more contentment within yourself and less often have to obtain another body to feel satisfaction.
In youth it is such a biological necessity, in that even if you wanted to forget about it, the call of nature, the rock-hard pulsating erections day and night will give you no peace. When you get older it is less and less of a constant biological necessity. It is a mental addiction or making up for what you felt denied from in youth for one reason or another.
Most of the older hobbyists are using some form of sexual stimulant whether script or herbal or even concentrated foods or beverages to motor the body to support the mind in fulfilling its sexual desires.
Take the stimulants away and we would possibly turn to other sources of happiness and satisfaction, partake only according to natural biological tendencies or become very frustrated in that we have the desire but no longer have a body to support the habit.
But it is a merry-go-round ride and most of us have felt at one time or another the need to jump off, abandon ship. But after a hiatus, the thrill calls us back, we pay admission again and jump on for another ride.
Its sex, so it always has its place in our lives. But probably being overly-obsessed with sex and sexual thoughts 24/7 is not good for our total well-being.
Ideally, to have our fun and satisfy the craving and then be able to forget about it for a while would be a better way to handle the beast.
In youth it is such a biological necessity, in that even if you wanted to forget about it, the call of nature, the rock-hard pulsating erections day and night will give you no peace. When you get older it is less and less of a constant biological necessity. It is a mental addiction or making up for what you felt denied from in youth for one reason or another.
Most of the older hobbyists are using some form of sexual stimulant whether script or herbal or even concentrated foods or beverages to motor the body to support the mind in fulfilling its sexual desires.
Take the stimulants away and we would possibly turn to other sources of happiness and satisfaction, partake only according to natural biological tendencies or become very frustrated in that we have the desire but no longer have a body to support the habit.
But it is a merry-go-round ride and most of us have felt at one time or another the need to jump off, abandon ship. But after a hiatus, the thrill calls us back, we pay admission again and jump on for another ride.
Its sex, so it always has its place in our lives. But probably being overly-obsessed with sex and sexual thoughts 24/7 is not good for our total well-being.
Ideally, to have our fun and satisfy the craving and then be able to forget about it for a while would be a better way to handle the beast.
let's face it, what motivates us towards that behavior?
pleasure
stress relief
sexual curiosity and attraction
boost self-esteem
improve social status
revenge seeking or healing from trauma involving a female figure we trusted
L' Word (Love)
spirituality, and
i'll even dare to say procreation. that's right brothers, even our innate desire to promote our species survival is at play (on a subconscious level). we are a single unit of bodymind. our long history of dualism (body and mind) was nothing more than opium for the people - a tool used by priests to make us feel impotent, to be faithful servants. that said, sexual energy can only be only be channeled and transformed. it is a perversion to suppress your life force.
pleasure
stress relief
sexual curiosity and attraction
boost self-esteem
improve social status
revenge seeking or healing from trauma involving a female figure we trusted
L' Word (Love)
spirituality, and
i'll even dare to say procreation. that's right brothers, even our innate desire to promote our species survival is at play (on a subconscious level). we are a single unit of bodymind. our long history of dualism (body and mind) was nothing more than opium for the people - a tool used by priests to make us feel impotent, to be faithful servants. that said, sexual energy can only be only be channeled and transformed. it is a perversion to suppress your life force.
Yes, I agree, it is a powerful Life Force manifesting. It can be expressed endlessly as many sexual adventures. Some who have investigated the urge more fully decided to sublimate it in other directions, spiritual developments. Some philosophies centered on the harnessing of the force and not allowing it to be frittered away by so many ejaculations.
For the last 2 1/2 yrs I have been on a bit of a binge. Hobbying anywhere from 6 to 10 times a month. During that time I have had periods of feeling burned out. When that happens I just pretend that I have an important business trip or vacation and tell everyone I will see them when I come back. Then I take a 2 to 3 week break from the hobby. Helps clear my head and gives me some breathing room to decide if I want to continue.
More wise words from Mugi. I am on enforced sabbatical for a few months, due to recent surgery. The healing is going well (for three days). A combination of coinciding factors is making me reevaluate my own behavior and priorities over the last several years. Without marijuana, the normally fail-safe allure of the spa girls is fading. My favorite UTR place appears to have been busted. My favorite girl there now doesn't want to see anyone or be found by anyone. She gave me her new number after I had written her a message saying that I wouldn't be pestering her but thanking her for the good times which had meant more to me than she had maybe realized. I even mentioned no-fly zones like saving money and getting the career back on track. I got a really kind reply.
It’s easy to overlook the seamy underbelly of our hobby when we're driven by the little man. I'm not talking about human trafficking but the vicissitudes of raising a kid or children while working as a prostitute (a word we avoid) against a backdrop of the odd arrest, client who gets too rough, non-fatal STD and so on.
I’m also remembering the days of having drinks and conversations with women who spoke English as well as I do, who finished my sentences for me and left me with the feeling that, for whatever misguided reasons, they were on the same side as me. For other members in good relationships, this may not sound like a big deal (nice to have your cake and eat it) but when you’ve been out of the flow for a number of years it looks exotic and appealing.
The process of going through surgery and being cared for by skilled compassionate people has opened my eyes to look beyond the attractions of a few Queens zip codes. I haven’t found religion or been cured of my cravings. But, as Mugi said, this is a merry-go-round. I’ve stepped off it for a bit.
It’s easy to overlook the seamy underbelly of our hobby when we're driven by the little man. I'm not talking about human trafficking but the vicissitudes of raising a kid or children while working as a prostitute (a word we avoid) against a backdrop of the odd arrest, client who gets too rough, non-fatal STD and so on.
I’m also remembering the days of having drinks and conversations with women who spoke English as well as I do, who finished my sentences for me and left me with the feeling that, for whatever misguided reasons, they were on the same side as me. For other members in good relationships, this may not sound like a big deal (nice to have your cake and eat it) but when you’ve been out of the flow for a number of years it looks exotic and appealing.
The process of going through surgery and being cared for by skilled compassionate people has opened my eyes to look beyond the attractions of a few Queens zip codes. I haven’t found religion or been cured of my cravings. But, as Mugi said, this is a merry-go-round. I’ve stepped off it for a bit.