Falling for a Provider
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And that difference is?
Quid pro quo.
Good relationships aren't based on the exchange of whatever. I have never bought a woman dinner because I thought doing so would get me laid. I have never bought a woman anything to get laid. I buy a woman something because I want to. She fucks me because, presumably, she likes it.
If there is any predefined agreement of exchange, either tacit or overt, I can't see how the word 'love' can even enter the picture.
Quid pro quo.
Good relationships aren't based on the exchange of whatever. I have never bought a woman dinner because I thought doing so would get me laid. I have never bought a woman anything to get laid. I buy a woman something because I want to. She fucks me because, presumably, she likes it.
If there is any predefined agreement of exchange, either tacit or overt, I can't see how the word 'love' can even enter the picture.
No you don't.
The feelings which you experience are within you.
The women you "love" are in fact "merely" serving as a catalyst for you to experience the feeling.
Love does not have an object.
Were love to have an object it would be condtional.
Conditional love is an oxymoron.
(There is nothing about this that is any way uniquely applicable to "whores". I have had some very beautiful experiences with women who I met as a result of commercial sex. I think what is experienced is based on the person not their profession.)
The feelings which you experience are within you.
The women you "love" are in fact "merely" serving as a catalyst for you to experience the feeling.
Love does not have an object.
Were love to have an object it would be condtional.
Conditional love is an oxymoron.
(There is nothing about this that is any way uniquely applicable to "whores". I have had some very beautiful experiences with women who I met as a result of commercial sex. I think what is experienced is based on the person not their profession.)
oh- I dont have a clue who youre talking about, I was referring to Heidi. Every time I get in my car and drive to her house I get a hardon thinking about her. But then again, when I get in my car and Im driving to see destiny,luciana,kimmie, dee, mia, tia, gia,madi, and a load of others, I get hardons also. I never met Candie,. but just looking at her pictures, she gives me a hardon.
I read some of the reviews here posted by Bill, I get hardons.
I feel a stiff breeze come with the strong winter nites, I get a hardon.
I even read one of billy's reviews and got a hardon.
It dont take me much to get a hardon.
Just writing about hardons is giving me a hardon.
But I do feel bad for you. Tuff when you cross over that line.
Its really bad when you cross over it so far you cant see the line anymore.
gotta move on. YOure a married man and most likely youre not leaving your wife.
Enjoy all your time with your friend, just remember that at the end of the day, you are a few bucks lighter.(always think if you didnt give her that money, would she be making you feel the way you feel, Be honest when you answer yourself.)
I read some of the reviews here posted by Bill, I get hardons.
I feel a stiff breeze come with the strong winter nites, I get a hardon.
I even read one of billy's reviews and got a hardon.
It dont take me much to get a hardon.
Just writing about hardons is giving me a hardon.
But I do feel bad for you. Tuff when you cross over that line.
Its really bad when you cross over it so far you cant see the line anymore.
gotta move on. YOure a married man and most likely youre not leaving your wife.
Enjoy all your time with your friend, just remember that at the end of the day, you are a few bucks lighter.(always think if you didnt give her that money, would she be making you feel the way you feel, Be honest when you answer yourself.)
just to connect to our other thread on this topic
this is my story, and i'm sticking to it.
http://www.utopiaguide.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=154506#post154506
this is my story, and i'm sticking to it.
http://www.utopiaguide.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=154506#post154506
Re: Re: Falling for a Provider
You seem to be saying that:
a) Nobody loves anybody, they just "love" the feelings they bring.
b) All love is unconditional.
I don't want to get into a debate on the meaning of love on a whore board of all places, but neither of those ideas make any sense. The feelings given to me by Person X is love.
Secondly, of course love is conditional -- except perhaps for a mother's love. Your mom will always love you, no matter what. But if you screw up bad enough, any friend or gf with any brains will stop loving you and move on.
You seem to be saying that:
a) Nobody loves anybody, they just "love" the feelings they bring.
b) All love is unconditional.
I don't want to get into a debate on the meaning of love on a whore board of all places, but neither of those ideas make any sense. The feelings given to me by Person X is love.
Secondly, of course love is conditional -- except perhaps for a mother's love. Your mom will always love you, no matter what. But if you screw up bad enough, any friend or gf with any brains will stop loving you and move on.
Re: Re: Re: Falling for a Provider
I agree and would add wife or husband to the list.
Therefore, holding aside the issue of what is or isn't love, to the extent that is true, now all we are talking about is price.
Which is to say that the relationship that a man might have with a provider is no different than any other he might have.
A conditional relationship is a contract. I do this in consideration of your doing that. You do this in consideration of my doing that.
The range of ersatz, putative love relationships between a man and a woman who is a commercial sex provider is no different than the range of such relationships between a man and any woman.
At one end of this range, whether it is in dating, marriage, extramarital liaisons, or commercial sex, is the exchange of sex for economic value. At the other end of the range are relationships in which the sex and economic considerations comprise only a small part of the total consideration exchanged which has grown to include profound appreciation, intimacy, affection, caring, understanding, and true friendship.
While it may be true that many relationships with commercial sex providers are limited to the exchange of economic value and sex, so are many marriages. But it is ridiculous to believe that it is not possible to have a fuller, more developed relationship with a commercial sex provider, just as it is ridiculous to assume that that a relationship is anything more than such an exchange because it is within a monogamous marriage.
Our society has created a structure and stereotypes for "sex for pay" relationships, which includes the concept that such relationships are in some way fundamentally different from other relationships that a man may have with a women. We may choose to believe in those concepts because in some way we think they will protect us from the pain that “real relationships” have the potential to create.
The problem is that the entire paradigm rests on the rejection of the fact that providers are also human beings. And as much as any of us may be in denial, I don’t think that is really something any of us can do.
I agree and would add wife or husband to the list.
Therefore, holding aside the issue of what is or isn't love, to the extent that is true, now all we are talking about is price.
Which is to say that the relationship that a man might have with a provider is no different than any other he might have.
A conditional relationship is a contract. I do this in consideration of your doing that. You do this in consideration of my doing that.
The range of ersatz, putative love relationships between a man and a woman who is a commercial sex provider is no different than the range of such relationships between a man and any woman.
At one end of this range, whether it is in dating, marriage, extramarital liaisons, or commercial sex, is the exchange of sex for economic value. At the other end of the range are relationships in which the sex and economic considerations comprise only a small part of the total consideration exchanged which has grown to include profound appreciation, intimacy, affection, caring, understanding, and true friendship.
While it may be true that many relationships with commercial sex providers are limited to the exchange of economic value and sex, so are many marriages. But it is ridiculous to believe that it is not possible to have a fuller, more developed relationship with a commercial sex provider, just as it is ridiculous to assume that that a relationship is anything more than such an exchange because it is within a monogamous marriage.
Our society has created a structure and stereotypes for "sex for pay" relationships, which includes the concept that such relationships are in some way fundamentally different from other relationships that a man may have with a women. We may choose to believe in those concepts because in some way we think they will protect us from the pain that “real relationships” have the potential to create.
The problem is that the entire paradigm rests on the rejection of the fact that providers are also human beings. And as much as any of us may be in denial, I don’t think that is really something any of us can do.
Seems like the whole point of commercial sex is paying to have sex and a good time, so you don't have to WORRY about it ... Not saying you should not have warm and wonderful and friendly feelings about the person you have fucked in exchange for money --- goodness knows! -- but the point is you do this because you are not "in love," and won;t be falling "in love," but simply want to get your groove on with a groove-merchant who can groove with your green after they have rocked your willie with their pink. Seems simple. Keep it simple. And it will stay simple and fun and good and even healthy. I mean, that's how I understand it. Anything else, and you are risking trouble.
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