If They So Wish
If you are right, and I don’t believe you are, I would have to think long are hard (no pun) about continuing to hobby.
While you are addressing different specific circumstances:
- Can a john and a hooker, who met as such, ever love each other?
- Can a man ever love a woman who works as a hooker?
- Can women ever love a man who sees hookers?
- Can a man ever love a woman who has worked as a hooker?
- Can a woman ever love a man who has ever seen hookers?
it is very difficult not to answer all of these questions, regardless if you answer yes or no, in the same way.
This is not to say that each individual man/john and woman/hooker might not have different answers to the questions, but if you put any before each instance of man/john and woman/hooker, which is the way in which you have presented the issue it does not seem that the answer to one of these questions could be yes and the other no.
The situations involve different degrees of the presence of the hooker/john issue in the relationship between a man and a women. With the last set of circumstances expressing the least degree of the presence of the issue and the first circumstance offering the greatest.
To see why the answer must be the same (again, when expressed in the contest of all people not from the perspective of any one person) the answer to any one of the questions is yes the answer to all of the questions must be yes, and if no it must be no for all the situations we need only look at the possibility in the extreme instances.
If no man could love any women who ever was a hooker, and no hooker could ever love any man who was a john, it would seem to be the case that the answer only becomes more emphatically no as the presence of the issue becomes greater as it does if the activities are still ongoing or in the most extreme case when it was such activities which actually created the possibility of the relationship.
Similarly if a john can love a hooker when the relationship was created at first by the two meeting each other in those respective roles, it is difficult to see why the answer to the other questions would not also have to be yes.
Clearly though there are men who love women who have been hookers and there are hookers that love men that have been johns. And there are couples that have met each other as hooker and john where the relationship has evolved to love.
So I don’t really think that your position is correct on this issue. This isn’t to say that the issue of the presence of instances of commercial sex on the part of either person does not have the possibility of affecting the evolution of the relationship to love. But in any relationship, any and all actions of either person, either in the past or present has the potential to affect the possibility of the development of the relationship.
I agree with you that love is a big word used much too much. In fact it is easier for me to consider the possibility that love between a specific man and specific woman may not be possible. But if it is possible, I can’t see that there is anything about involvement in commercial sex that precludes the possibility.
But as I said in the beginning, if that were not the case, I don’t think I could continue to participate in the “hobby”. Because if love is a possibility I would not want to be involved in something which resulted in it no longer being a possibility for anyone.
A few observations based on my experience;
Love is not rational
Unlike many of the other feelings we are prone to experience, such as desire, lust, and anger, love is much less boisterous and imposing – it does not come unless invited, nor stay when it is not appreciated.
I really can’t believe that in a universe with such a nature that it allows us to exist, and also allows the experience of love to exist, that in such a universe any individual would be precluded from experiencing love if they so wish.
If you are right, and I don’t believe you are, I would have to think long are hard (no pun) about continuing to hobby.
While you are addressing different specific circumstances:
- Can a john and a hooker, who met as such, ever love each other?
- Can a man ever love a woman who works as a hooker?
- Can women ever love a man who sees hookers?
- Can a man ever love a woman who has worked as a hooker?
- Can a woman ever love a man who has ever seen hookers?
it is very difficult not to answer all of these questions, regardless if you answer yes or no, in the same way.
This is not to say that each individual man/john and woman/hooker might not have different answers to the questions, but if you put any before each instance of man/john and woman/hooker, which is the way in which you have presented the issue it does not seem that the answer to one of these questions could be yes and the other no.
The situations involve different degrees of the presence of the hooker/john issue in the relationship between a man and a women. With the last set of circumstances expressing the least degree of the presence of the issue and the first circumstance offering the greatest.
To see why the answer must be the same (again, when expressed in the contest of all people not from the perspective of any one person) the answer to any one of the questions is yes the answer to all of the questions must be yes, and if no it must be no for all the situations we need only look at the possibility in the extreme instances.
If no man could love any women who ever was a hooker, and no hooker could ever love any man who was a john, it would seem to be the case that the answer only becomes more emphatically no as the presence of the issue becomes greater as it does if the activities are still ongoing or in the most extreme case when it was such activities which actually created the possibility of the relationship.
Similarly if a john can love a hooker when the relationship was created at first by the two meeting each other in those respective roles, it is difficult to see why the answer to the other questions would not also have to be yes.
Clearly though there are men who love women who have been hookers and there are hookers that love men that have been johns. And there are couples that have met each other as hooker and john where the relationship has evolved to love.
So I don’t really think that your position is correct on this issue. This isn’t to say that the issue of the presence of instances of commercial sex on the part of either person does not have the possibility of affecting the evolution of the relationship to love. But in any relationship, any and all actions of either person, either in the past or present has the potential to affect the possibility of the development of the relationship.
I agree with you that love is a big word used much too much. In fact it is easier for me to consider the possibility that love between a specific man and specific woman may not be possible. But if it is possible, I can’t see that there is anything about involvement in commercial sex that precludes the possibility.
But as I said in the beginning, if that were not the case, I don’t think I could continue to participate in the “hobby”. Because if love is a possibility I would not want to be involved in something which resulted in it no longer being a possibility for anyone.
A few observations based on my experience;
Love is not rational
Unlike many of the other feelings we are prone to experience, such as desire, lust, and anger, love is much less boisterous and imposing – it does not come unless invited, nor stay when it is not appreciated.
I really can’t believe that in a universe with such a nature that it allows us to exist, and also allows the experience of love to exist, that in such a universe any individual would be precluded from experiencing love if they so wish.
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