Breaking up with Chicks sucks..

[desilove]

Just act as snotty as you do towards me and surely he will tell you to GFY and there you have it..

umm hello that hasnt worked with you...and please stop crying outside my window, the neighbors are complaining...j/k

I dont know what other advice to offer you.. I take it this is your HS boy so you cant just come clean with what you do or be a big deuce to him so try being honest and if that dosent work just go silent on him... if he jumps off a bridge, he does.. obviously he has other problems then and you cant be responsible for them.

Sorry, typing on the fly.. have to run.. but thats my best advice..

hes actually an old friend from middle school, first kiss blah blah blah (yes the dreaded facebook strikes again)......im not going any route but the honest one only prob is no matter how i phrase it hes gonna act or be hurt...i dont play games and right now my only prob is i dont like hurting people...this is prob why me and my ex lasted so long, i always give in to the sob stories and tears well they do work on me but none of that actually changes how I feel...Im 33 and i am accomplishing so much right now in my private life, stuff ive worked really hard for and i want someone to share it with..his life hasnt been as good and anytime i express excitement over a new accomplishment he gets all "poor me"....so sunday night ill do it, ill feel horrible about it but ive come to far in my life to waste time with someone just cause i dont want to hurt their feelings and truth why should i be miserable just so someone else can be happy.....xox

 

[Boywonder2]

I agree with you 100% and I am sure in your true fashion you will figure out a way to be honest and to the point and yet be tactfull and sweet about.

 

[marcinny]

so sunday night ill do it, ill feel horrible about it but ive come to far in my life to waste time with someone just cause i dont want to hurt their feelings and truth why should i be miserable just so someone else can be happy.....xox

Bravo. That's the spirit.

 

[marcinny]

Mr. Moderator

Please change the title of this thread to:

Breaking up sucks

Desi's example shows that the phenomenon can happen to both sexes.

 

[Gavvy Cravath]

Please change the title of this thread to:

Breaking up sucks

Desi's example shows that the phenomenon can happen to both sexes.

I'll let FAH make that decision. This thread began in his brain, I would like for him to make the decision.

Gavy

 

[Gavvy Cravath]

A lot of this going around lately...

Hey, you certainly should not accept to be blackmailed by his potential depression to compromise with the major decisions in your life.

One way could be to try to convince him to give it more time. Five dates is ridiculously fast. If he waits a little he will certainly understand what a pain in the ass you are and he will back off.

Of course, human nature wants it that when he says "let's not do it" you, your reply must be: "Why not? You promised!"

A lot can be taken from RuffToy's 3 point approach and your first sentence. Desi, good luck. People overloaded with emotional baggage (we all have some to an extent) don't make life easy --- I know I sure don't.

Gavy

 

[Gavvy Cravath]

Wow, that was painful...

 

[fuckingahole]

I'll let FAH make that decision. This thread began in his brain, I would like for him to make the decision.

Gavy

Thank you but this thread was just my thought at the time.. if girls want to chime in feel free to make it a unisex title.. but something tells me that the girl in question is to much of a wuss to break up so perhaps the title change should be put on hold till she musters up the courage? sfsfsf

 

[fuckingahole]

Wow, that was painful...

That bad huh?

 

[desilove]

Wow, that was painful...

ditto....as i sit and think i can honestly say after tonight being dumped is a lot easier than being the dumper...this sucks.

 

[marcinny]

My heart goes to both of you guys. What you did you did it for them too. Sincerity is far more courageous and fair than a fake and extended relationship. It has been a short one in both cases, so no matter how extraordinary both of you are, your victims will survive and probably one day they will bless the moment when you dumped them. (Haha.) Anyways. Keep it together guys. It is in the past now.

 

[Gavvy Cravath]

ditto....as i sit and think i can honestly say after tonight being dumped is a lot easier than being the dumper...this sucks.

Hands down easier...

 

[desilove]

How do you handle the morning after dramatics??

Last night was diff but this morning is even harder and truth Im going from feeling bad to mad really fast. It is 830 and he has called 3x and when I didnt answer he sent me this email, all before 730. So I am at a loss for what to do. I have decided its best and easier just not to answer the calls or emails but because he is the "I dont want to live without you" type I am second guessing myself. This is the email he sent me this morning just to give an idea of what I am dealing with so maybe you guys can either tell me im right to ignore or if I should be doing something else. I haven't had to deal with these dramatics since HS and am unsure of how to handle this:

Hi ****. You asked me how I could love you already and your wrong it isn’t the idea of it I love it’s you. I couldn’t answer why I love you last night but I can now. I love you because you are very supportive to me in my life and you have no idea how much I need that right now. You are an intelligent, strong and as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. You have a caring thoughtful nature ******** with you I know I can do anything. You have a great sense of humor, you’re a good mother. I know I love you because of the way I feel inside and right now it hurts. I am beating myself up right now for not talking more. I guess you don't think we got to know each other fast enough,****** I didn't know there were guide lines to follow. Last night was the first time we actually were able to talk where I had your full attention. You always make it feel like you are too busy doing other things, your kids are always in the background distracting you while on the phone with me, you have school work and how can I get into a serious conversation when it's like that every time I call you. You say you’re always tired but when I tell you, you don’t have to work or worry about school to make it easier for you, you get mad. If you didn’t have to work or go to school than you’d have more time for me but I guess that is more important than I am. I wanted to be a part of your life but you wouldn’t even let me meet your kids or come to your house. You never even gave me a chance. I admit I need to talk more. I so badly want to get to know you more. You are my whole life, all I wanted was to take care of you.

When your ******* passed away last week you said you need to make time in your life for the people who are important to you, that should include me. I am in love with you ****. I know you said you thought we shouldn’t talk for awhile but that’s not what I want and I am not letting you go that easy. I called you 3 times this morning and you don’t answer. Please call me I don't want to go a day without talking to you.

 

[fuckingahole]

Last night was diff but this morning is even harder and truth Im going from feeling bad to mad really fast. It is 830 and he has called 3x and when I didnt answer he sent me this email, all before 730. So I am at a loss for what to do. I have decided its best and easier just not to answer the calls or emails but because he is the "I dont want to live without you" type I am second guessing myself. This is the email he sent me this morning just to give an idea of what I am dealing with so maybe you guys can either tell me im right to ignore or if I should be doing something else. I haven't had to deal with these dramatics since HS and am unsure of how to handle this:

Hi ****. You asked me how I could love you already and your wrong it isn’t the idea of it I love it’s you. I couldn’t answer why I love you last night but I can now. I love you because you are very supportive to me in my life and you have no idea how much I need that right now. You are an intelligent, strong and as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. You have a caring thoughtful nature ******** with you I know I can do anything. You have a great sense of humor, you’re a good mother. I know I love you because of the way I feel inside and right now it hurts. I am beating myself up right now for not talking more. I guess you don't think we got to know each other fast enough,****** I didn't know there were guide lines to follow. Last night was the first time we actually were able to talk where I had your full attention. You always make it feel like you are too busy doing other things, your kids are always in the background distracting you while on the phone with me, you have school work and how can I get into a serious conversation when it's like that every time I call you. You say you’re always tired but when I tell you, you don’t have to work or worry about school to make it easier for you, you get mad. If you didn’t have to work or go to school than you’d have more time for me but I guess that is more important than I am. I wanted to be a part of your life but you wouldn’t even let me meet your kids or come to your house. You never even gave me a chance. I admit I need to talk more. I so badly want to get to know you more. You are my whole life, all I wanted was to take care of you.

When your ******* passed away last week you said you need to make time in your life for the people who are important to you, that should include me. I am in love with you ****. I know you said you thought we shouldn’t talk for awhile but that’s not what I want and I am not letting you go that easy. I called you 3 times this morning and you don’t answer. Please call me I don't want to go a day without talking to you.

Honestly, what a pathetic loser. That is honestly what comes to my mind. Add to the fact you only saw this guy 5 times? My god... What an empty heart trying to leach onto something.
Just food for thought, you have invited people in your personal life to come over, why wouldnt you let him? In summary, I would run, not walk but run.. but that is just me. If this is the guy who's picture you know.. thats a shame because he looked like a decent looking guy but my god..

 

[desilove]

Honestly, what a pathetic loser. That is honestly what comes to my mind. Add to the fact you only saw this guy 5 times? My god... What an empty heart trying to leach onto something.
Just food for thought, you have invited people in your personal life to come over, why wouldnt you let him? In summary, I would run, not walk but run.. but that is just me. If this is the guy who's picture you know.. thats a shame because he looked like a decent looking guy but my god..

i might not use the loser word but the leach part about covers it. Like i told you last night it just doesnt feel special when he says these things to me cause im smart enough to know its not me its just the idea of "me" and its obvious the "you" in his i love you's could be anyone...i dont have doubts or second thoughts about what I did i just have doubts about how i am handling it which is basically not responding.

I didnt invite him to my home because my kids are pretty special people and I didnt have any thoughts of forever with this guy and dont think my kids should have to be the guinea pigs for my love life. I honestly have not introduced a man to my boys in years, even the guy i broke up with last year never met them. Introducing someone to my boys is something i take very seriously and not a decision I make lightly.

 

[desilove]

....If this is the guy who's picture you know.. thats a shame because he looked like a decent looking guy but my god..

it is and stop stalking my facebook...fucker

 

[fuckingahole]

it is and stop stalking my facebook...fucker

I dont fucker but did look last week after you told me he was just a friend of yours on your FB and then when you said you were dumping some guy and I saw his picture was down last week I knew who it was! Fucker!

 

[fuckingahole]

Like i told you last night it just doesnt feel special when he says these things to me cause im smart enough to know its not me its just the idea of "me" and its obvious the "you" in his i love you's could be anyone....

Exactly.. insert Jane Doe, Mary Jones in place of your name. What is your name by the way, Desi, Alyssa, you have so many.. sfsfsf. I will leave personal experiences out of this but to just say, you did the right thing. The best way to handle this, just go totally silent and vanish. Anything else will be a mistake. Of course this is assuming you do not want to be with him. I dont envy you at all. I know why I am staying single for the moment, the drama is unreal.

 

[marcinny]

Maybe an answer along the following lines

I know you said you thought we shouldn’t talk for awhile but that’s not what I want and I am not letting you go that easy. I called you 3 times this morning and you don’t answer. Please call me I don't want to go a day without talking to you.

"The incessant calling and text messaging is among the things that killed any hope for this relationship.

If you really loved me, the minimum you could do was to respect my decision to stay apart (for a while?). Apparently that is not the case, despite of what you claim.

This back and forth emails, texts and calls will not change the essential. It was painful for me too, but I meant what I said yesterday and it is not going to change. Please, be who you say you are and respect my decision. I have nothing more to say."

 

[RuffToy]

...You say you’re always tired but when I tell you, you don’t have to work or worry about school to make it easier for you, you get mad. If you didn’t have to work or go to school than you’d have more time for me but I guess that is more important than I am. I wanted to be a part of your life but you wouldn’t even let me meet your kids or come to your house. You never even gave me a chance. I admit I need to talk more. I so badly want to get to know you more. You are my whole life, all I wanted was to take care of you....

Alyssa, if I may step in here and say a thing or two...

I usually stay out of other peoples business, but you posted this and I feel compelled to respond. This clipped dialogue reveals a very needy, very controlling person. If this is what he's saying at the very early stages of a relationship....watch out.

Also, this guy really does not understand the meaning of "love". He uses the word to describe his feeling towards you the same way someone would say...."I really love that restaurant". He is not in touch with his true feelings, he is grasping at heartstrings, hoping you'll allow him to hang on.

He doesn't respect your priorities for your boys & never will.

Without knowing (or wanting to know) any more, this guy is (if I may be so crude) pathetic.
Here he says to you.

If you didn’t have to work or go to school than you’d have more time for me but I guess that is more important than I am.

If he really loved you and wanted to offer you a lifetime of financial freedom, he should have said... If you didn’t have to work or go to school than you’d have more time for yourself and your kids and hopefully we can grow our relationship & share as much time together as possible.