Breaking up with Chicks sucks..

[fuckingahole]

You know.. why is it sometimes that you meet a girl who gives you the world, treats you like you never been treated and you dump them.. well I know why in this case and it was distance, physical distance between her house and mine and it could never work like it should because of this.. but you know.. dating sucks sometimes (most of the time come to think of it) .. even if you are not alone because you have someone else beating down your door that is a good catch, it still sucks knowing you hurt or affected someone in a bad way.... it sucks to be on the breaker up end or the breakeree end, if those words exist.

Well thats my rant, had one hour of sleep last night, thanks for reading these sometimes silly and pointless rants...

FAH

 

[wolf5958]

You know.. why is it sometimes that you meet a girl who gives you the world, treats you like you never been treated and you dump them.. well I know why in this case and it was distance, physical distance between her house and mine and it could never work like it should because of this.. but you know.. dating sucks sometimes (most of the time come to think of it) .. even if you are not alone because you have someone else beating down your door that is a good catch, it still sucks knowing you hurt or affected someone in a bad way.... it sucks to be on the breaker up end or the breakeree end, if those words exist.

Well thats my rant, had one hour of sleep last night, thanks for reading these sometimes silly and pointless rants...

FAH

So I guess the one who just wanted to stay in with you is who your talking about. Why is the distance the problem when she was willing to come to you? Ok so don't answer that but yes being the barer of bad news does suck, but this too shall pass. Oh and I understood the words not sure if they are real either but hey no english class here. I am sorry FAH I know you were enjoying the ride. I do hope you get back on the horse soon and find a new friend....

 

[Gavvy Cravath]

Breaking up is one of the most painful things to do...especially when the person is nice. I dated this girl for three years. I mentioned her a few times on the board. She moved into my place in Jackson Hts on 80th Street. Huge studio apartment if you can believe that. Well, I was so guilty about breaking up with her, I moved out to Glendale, Queens. I left her in the apartment and area I loved.

Anyway, that was off-topic. Yeah, breaking up is painful. Just kills you inside. You hate being the bad guy...

 

[fuckingahole]

Wolf, she would be the one. My work schedule and business at this moment just dont really allow me to travel to her like she could to me and I felt awful even though she always said she didnt mind the drive. It was so selfish of me to ask her to do that, even if I didnt have to ask and she just offered to come.. it wasnt fair. I am more of a gentlemen then that to allow a female to do all the driving, etc. She truly was an angel that as one of my friends said wouldnt be surprised if there was a ferrari sitting in my driveway from her.. she was very generous, very thoughtful, a true gem and angel. If she lived closer and we both didnt own our houses things would probably be different.. but I am too nice of a guy to ask so much of this girl..

Nice move on your part Gavy, leaving her with the place.. it shows you are a good guy.

I am not sure, but what might make me feel worse is I did find a new friend, a local friend who seems very into me.. well see what that brings but so far so good. I feel this almost guilt like feeling for meeting someone and leaving my little commuting angel like that.. she is just that good of a person who has been through a lot in her life I might add and has come out a true champ with a heart of gold. Amazing. It sucks to hurt someone who is nothing but the sweetest of the sweet.

 

[wolf5958]

FAH They say I have a heart of gold.. wrong my friend you deff have one too...

 

[xcalibur]

great thread and nice timing....if you guys don't mind how would anyone choose between 2 girls where with one your life will be super great and with the other it will be just ok. I'm stuck and it's killing me!

 

[Gavvy Cravath]

Don't chose. Keep it up as long as you can...

 

[lightweight]

Don't chose. Keep it up as long as you can...

This is what I say. Why give up any. Things will work there way out. Sometimes decisions are made for you.

 

[xcalibur]

Thing is like FAH said it sucks to hurt someone who is too sweet and don't deserve it.

 

[lightweight]

I get it. But, FAH, why did you need to break it off at this point in time? Why not see where it goes. If you 2 really did like each other that much and obviously you did and you have a great deal of respect for her which will be hard to find somewhere else, why the need to break it off now? If 2 people like each other that much, somehow, some way, it can be worked out, don't you think? Distance?

 

[marcinny]

LW is right, but we can't judge with the info that we have. And if this has ended now, I am not sure whether discussing alternatives would make FAH feel better.

It sucks breaking up and in my life I had at least two girls literally breaking down in heart-wrenching tears. It is a situation that I absolutely hate.

 

[Gavvy Cravath]

My breakup with the girl I was living with in Jackson Heights was a gutwrenching sort. She was this beautiful girl from Guayaquil, Ecuador. That tan skin, an almost Dominican body. I met her while she was stripping at Ilda's in late 1996. Almost immediately, she moved in with me and got a job at one of the Delgado Travels in the area.

She was so hot that noted scumbag Mr. Delgado brought her to work at the main branch on 79th and Roosevelt.

Well, we lived together for 3 years. My 155 lb body morphed into a 210 lb mess. I started losing all my hair. I was a mess. And this mess was living with a beautiful girl that would do nothing but feed me, do my laundry and basically pay for most of the household expenses while I was doing my Masters.

So, here comes 2000 and I meet this sultry dominican girl. She tempted me away from Mireya. She couldn't "share" me with anyone. I also had lost contact with all of my friends at this point, too. So, one Saturday night in the middle of March 2000, I got home, started packing and told her I wasn't happy. Out of the blue.

Guys, I haven't ever gone into these details before. What I am about to write is making me sick to my stomach. Mireya blcoked the door to our apartment. She's screaming at me, "Why? Why? Please, don't go..." The tears are streaming down her face. ANd she is close to hysterics. She rips my glasses off of my face and breaks them. She is screaming at the top of her lungs, "Gordito, I NEED YOU! YOU CAN'T LEAVE!" And then she starts beating the daylights out of me. I finally got out of the apartment my face is scratched up, I am bleeding. I get into the elevator. When I got to the main level, she was coming down the steps. I raced to the front of the apartment building, she is chasing me. I get to my car, she jumps on the hood as I am about to pull away. Someone in the apartment must have called the cops because they showed up and had to question the both of us.

Finally, after 30 minutes, I was able to leave and the cops got intouch with one of her friends to come and take care of her.

I left my apartment in Jackson Hts to fuck a broad for 4 months. And I ruined someone's life in the process.

I see Mireya from time to time in Jackson Heights. She's older now. She's about 34 years old. The last time I saw her, she was walking with an older white guy. Preppy. Decent build. I was happy for her.

I haven't been that close to a woman in 8 years...I never want to go through that again...

Gavy

 

[fuckingahole]

FAH They say I have a heart of gold.. wrong my friend you deff have one too...

Thanks Buddy.. I try to do right by people who do right by me..

great thread and nice timing....if you guys don't mind how would anyone choose between 2 girls where with one your life will be super great and with the other it will be just ok. I'm stuck and it's killing me!

My god, I could never answer that question for you as I wouldnt want that weight on my shoulders as determining how you live your life but unless you are talking materialistics it almost sounds like you know in your head which route to go. Whichever it is you take though, it sucks and I hope it goes as good as it can, I know thats not saying much.

I get it. But, FAH, why did you need to break it off at this point in time? Why not see where it goes. If you 2 really did like each other that much and obviously you did and you have a great deal of respect for her which will be hard to find somewhere else, why the need to break it off now? If 2 people like each other that much, somehow, some way, it can be worked out, don't you think? Distance?

The distance does suck, and her having her house and a very good job shes been at for 12 years, she basically runs the place she works at and has it very, very good and apparently as good of a salary to go with that. I can relocate my business anywhere but just bought the current house a year ago and have invested so much into it, I am not selling anytime soon. I am working like a dog most of the time right now and am so not being fair to her since she is over an hour and a half away. She always ends up driving to see me since I am really busy at this point, and she has a very, very flexible schedule and I feel really guilty she does this. It also makes it hard to just go grab a bite to eat or a drink and then retreat back to work or whatever else might be on the table for the day. Why dont I see other people as well for now? The biggest reason is I have too much respect for her to do that and the guilt would be unreal. I know theres no ring on the finger but I kind of live by the motto, do to others like you want done to you and this chick is absolutely an angel, I could never do anything other then right by her.
She has gone into totally ignoring me. I still have some of her stuff at my house, I think I will hold onto it for now, not sure if I dont hear anything from her within a week or so if I will UPS it to her. I feel the right thing to do is to take a drive over to her house and bring it back, she deserves that. She has been more then generous with herself, her time, her feelings, materialistically she has showered me with stuff being delivered to the house, always walks in the door with stuff for me, stuff for us, brings my cat a new toy and snacks without fail. She just has an enormous heart and is a good, good person which is why I couldnt let it go on, I need something more convenient and closer to home.

 

[fuckingahole]

Gavy, my god bro, you have a way with your writing. You know what though, good for her, good for her. The ending reminds me of a girl I had dated briefly for a month or two and it ended, no real hard feelings atleast on my end, just alittle dissapointed. About 2 years later I ran into her again, we got talking, it was a bit before July 4th and we decided to get together, we ended up dating and although it only lasted maybe 7 months or so the second time around, she atleast at this point let me know how upset she was when I was ending it. I mean the tears, the screaming, the hysterics, she had moved back home with her parents in the good part of Westbury and she would get so upset on the phone with me her parents would tell her they dont want her talking to me. This carried on in late January, early February and then she went quiet for a month or two and then my birthday rolled around and she insisted on taking me out for my birthday, so we went out had a nice time. I kind of left it at that and then she would call and say she will be in my neighborhood is it ok if she stopped over or that she had awesome tickets to a yankee game.. I felt bad because it was becoming obvious that this wouldnt just be a friendship, she still wanted a relationship. Well last fall I took a look at a website she started to build for a business she was trying to develop and it had wedding plans on it, hers. I *****ed her saying if you got married congratulations, she *****ed me back the wedding plans were for April of 2008, so if she did get married, good for her. It brought a big smile to my face knowing she was what I perceive as in good hands and happy.

FAH

 

[blondekelly]

Thanks Buddy.. I try to do right by people who do right by me.. My god, I could never answer that question for you as I wouldnt want that weight on my shoulders as determining how you live your life but unless you are talking materialistics it almost sounds like you know in your head which route to go. Whichever it is you take though, it sucks and I hope it goes as good as it can, I know thats not saying much.

The distance does suck, and her having her house and a very good job shes been at for 12 years, she basically runs the place she works at and has it very, very good and apparently as good of a salary to go with that. I can relocate my business anywhere but just bought the current house a year ago and have invested so much into it, I am not selling anytime soon. I am working like a dog most of the time right now and am so not being fair to her since she is over an hour and a half away. She always ends up driving to see me since I am really busy at this point, and she has a very, very flexible schedule and I feel really guilty she does this. It also makes it hard to just go grab a bite to eat or a drink and then retreat back to work or whatever else might be on the table for the day. Why dont I see other people as well for now? The biggest reason is I have too much respect for her to do that and the guilt would be unreal. I know theres no ring on the finger but I kind of live by the motto, do to others like you want done to you and this chick is absolutely an angel, I could never do anything other then right by her.
She has gone into totally ignoring me. I still have some of her stuff at my house, I think I will hold onto it for now, not sure if I dont hear anything from her within a week or so if I will UPS it to her. I feel the right thing to do is to take a drive over to her house and bring it back, she deserves that. She has been more then generous with herself, her time, her feelings, materialistically she has showered me with stuff being delivered to the house, always walks in the door with stuff for me, stuff for us, brings my cat a new toy and snacks without fail. She just has an enormous heart and is a good, good person which is why I couldnt let it go on, I need something more convenient and closer to home.

The classy thing to do would be to pack her stuff and take it to her personally, do not UPS it.

 

[fairemily]

Kelly is right but on the other hand I think it's hard to do the right thing when returning belonging in a break up. If you wait too long to personally deliver you might catch her in the recovery phase of the "dumping" and reopen old wounds and she will have to start all over again. If your going to return her stuff personally do it fast while she is still in the mourning period and the extra heartache will not be so much of added burden.

My ex who dumped me waited too long to pick up his things and the heartache of seeing him again nearly destroyed me because I felt I was over him. I had thought I moved on but the shock of having in the place we shared just set me back to phase one but worse because regret was added in the mix. Sometimes what can be perceived as the socially classier thing to do might also be the more psychologically damaging. Maybe it's better that she hate you more by sending her things via UPS for her sake and recovery. There is no classy way of doing things to the one who's heart is broken.

 

[Lascivious]

Gavy, thanks for sharing that story. I hope one day, you could open your heart and find love again. When I was in love, it was the greatest feeling in the world. But that's a feeling that's fast fleeting. But I guess we're all in that boat.

 

[donquixote04]

... how would anyone choose between 2 girls where with one your life will be super great and with the other it will be just ok. ...

Hmmm.

Super great or just ok?

Super great or just ok?

That's a tough one.

Which is better? Super great? Or just ok?




Well, Xc, why not just go with "super great"?

 

[Jmoney16]

...

I haven't been that close to a woman in 8 years...I never want to go through that again...

Gavy

This was tough to read, because it made me remember when I broke up with my ex about a year ago. I was depressed for months. Now, I'm trying to get back with her!

Thanks for a great story Gavy.

 

[Bandaid]

Thank you both, FAH and Gavy. Someone has to collect this stuff into a book someday, entitled "Monger." Slinky, BMM, Wolf, Gavy, Lamont, FAH and paulbunyon would be high on the list with the other great storytellers here.

Now we have to cast the movie. The only thing sure is Robert Downey Jr. has to be in it.