Breaking up with Chicks sucks..

[Gavvy Cravath]

The girl I am about to break up with is kind of nutty. She goes into hystrionics at the drop of a hat. Her biting commentary was endearing at the beginning, but all of my comments can't be responded to with some sarcastic comment. It is grating.

This girl is somewhat decent. I would gather that most would find her attractive. I don't, however. Especially after all the drama she has put me through.

My sometime roommate, the priest, is on my couch again. Decided to go to the seminary on LI rather than Chicago. He has seen a drastic change in me from my party lifestyle to the change when I was dating Crystal last summer. He has been there during the entire new relationship (mid December to now) and has some nice comments about me.

The priest mentioned that I am "a different person" and a "better side" of me comes out when I am with her. He describes me as "patient", "generous" and "thoughtful". That being said, he can't fucking stand this white chick I am dating. I am beginning to resent her as well.

She has put me through the ringer on 3 different occaisions. She just flies off the handle at the littlest thing. There are reasons why attractive 25 year olds are single. I should have known that from the beginning. She has ended things three times since February 7th. Each time I readily accept and then she pulls out the manipulative self pity card. And I get sucked back in. Honestly, I can't do this any more.

Well, get ready for the drama to start. I am beginning to really hate spending time with her. Bring on the Latinas.

Gavy

 

[Gavvy Cravath]

Thank you both, FAH and Gavy. Someone has to collect this stuff into a book someday, entitled "Monger." Slinky, BMM, Wolf, Gavy, Lamont, FAH and paulbunyon would be high on the list with the other great storytellers here.

Now we have to cast the movie. The only thing sure is Robert Downey Jr. has to be in it.

Jason Alexander plays me. Either that or Jason Statham. Or Matt Pinfield. Don't ask me why, but I've gotten "all" of these in recent years.

Be well,
Gavy

 

[fairemily]

The girl I am about to break up with is kind of nutty. She goes into hystrionics at the drop of a hat. Her biting commentary was endearing at the beginning, but all of my comments can't be responded to with some sarcastic comment. It is grating.

This girl is somewhat decent. I would gather that most would find her attractive. I don't, however. Especially after all the drama she has put me through.

My sometime roommate, the priest, is on my couch again. Decided to go to the seminary on LI rather than Chicago. He has seen a drastic change in me from my party lifestyle to the change when I was dating Crystal last summer. He has been there during the entire new relationship (mid December to now) and has some nice comments about me.

The priest mentioned that I am "a different person" and a "better side" of me comes out when I am with her. He describes me as "patient", "generous" and "thoughtful". That being said, he can't fucking stand this white chick I am dating. I am beginning to resent her as well.

She has put me through the ringer on 3 different occaisions. She just flies off the handle at the littlest thing. There are reasons why attractive 25 year olds are single. I should have known that from the beginning. She has ended things three times since February 7th. Each time I readily accept and then she pulls out the manipulative self pity card. And I get sucked back in. Honestly, I can't do this any more.

Well, get ready for the drama to start. I am beginning to really hate spending time with her. Bring on the Latinas.

Gavy

Gavy, I think girls who are emotional expect to be dumped, you can't be the first guy who has done it to her. You obviously can only be with a certain personality, you should just stay with that. I think you must get bored then otherwise you wouldn't have gone against the grain. It's easy to just end it, no calls, no contact in any form, believe me she will go on, I have had it happen to me enough to know.

 

[marcinny]

Ahem

My sometime roommate, the priest, is on my couch again. Decided to go to the seminary on LI rather than Chicago. He has seen a drastic change in me from my party lifestyle to the change when I was dating Crystal last summer. He has been there during the entire new relationship (mid December to now) and has some nice comments about me.

The priest mentioned that I am "a different person" and a "better side" of me comes out when I am with her. He describes me as "patient", "generous" and "thoughtful". That being said, he can't fucking stand this white chick I am dating. I am beginning to resent her as well.

I don't want to sound like a cynic but if the priest is still sharing your couch, he is not an independent source on this conflict.

Dump this girl for your own reasons without being influenced by others.

Family, close friends and roommates are in natural conflict with every serious relationship, no matter how much they love you. It is only human nature.

Finally breaking up a relationship is hard, but it is still easy if compared to building one. I know nothing about this girl and I know you're mature enough to make reasonable decisions. Good luck no matter what.

 

[fuckingahole]

Well you came, you saw, you tried. Maybe you need to bump the notch up another 2 or 3 years.. she is a professional though so thats a good move I think. Perhaps still immature though?

Or and I am just throwing this out there, is it you? You are used to just drinking and partying and hitting on anything that walks by and the "fucked up lifestyle of these girls". You cant have a real relationship with a ficha girl, they are meant for fucking and back to the bar and that is pretty much what you do, so being a fish out of the water so to speak, do you need to adjust maybe? Hey, I'll never forget two springs ago after still hanging around with the ex for a bit and countless other girls and then I got serious with the new girl and doing some fucked up shit, cause I was used to being like go fuck yourself.. knowing the next night I would be with someone else. Any chance you think you have that syndrome and cause some of the problems? Just throwing it out there.

Good luck if you do dump her, never an easy thing.. usually I just act like a dick until they go away or some I just vanished on. Heh, kind of funny when you think back to the shit you do to women. Thanks for bringing this thread back by the way, I totally forgot about this girl I had written about.

 

[Gavvy Cravath]

I just wrote in detail point by point, blow by blow about what she has down to sour me. She has abandonment issues, major drinking issues and is self righteous.

I wish I could write that I played a role in this, but I have been very good. I've dealt with each situation she creates in a mature, manly manner. I've been understanding.

It wasn't until the end of last week (she caused a scene on February 7 and February 14) that I started pulling away. And she won't take the hint. It's her, it isn't me.

And she is "attractive". One of those girls that people with typical/classic tastes would say is attractive. I just look at her and see a very needy drama queen and I don't have time for it.

Gavy

 

[fuckingahole]

I just wrote in detail point by point, blow by blow about what she has down to sour me. She has abandonment issues, major drinking issues and is self righteous.

I wish I could write that I played a role in this, but I have been very good. I've dealt with each situation she creates in a mature, manly manner. I've been understanding.

It wasn't until the end of last week (she caused a scene on February 7 and February 14) that I started pulling away. And she won't take the hint. It's her, it isn't me.

And she is "attractive". One of those girls that people with typical/classic tastes would say is attractive. I just look at her and see a very needy drama queen and I don't have time for it.

Gavy

I just wanted to make you think before you took action, hearing this, I cant blame you at all. All women have issues, some you can deal with, some you cant. I hear you.. a woman can be attractive but when there personality is one like this, you suddenly dont see the looks, you dont want to answer the phone, you have no desire to see them. Sounds like the dissapearing route might be the only way to shake her.. otherwise it becomes the dance routine and the power play which it seems where it is now.. Sounds like you will be back in player mode after this one! Chicks like this are what keeps a guy from wanting to get close to another..

 

[RuffToy]

Women are very good at hiding their idiosyncrasies in the beginning of a relationship. And men are very good at ignoring them. As a relationship matures, she relaxes, becomes more comfortable with you & the real personality begins to show. As you witness things that disturb you or don't feel right, you have to remember......they will only grow and get worse. You may be in denial with a "wait and see" attitude, but mark my words, if it grates on you now, it will drive you crazy later.

You have options.
1. Communication. Be open and honest and discuss these things. The goal is not to change anyone, but to understand each other better. And hopefully grow together.
2. Ignore it and hope they go away or get better or you learn to accept them.
3. Bail now before the relationship tanks and people get hurt.

Analyze the full picture and if you see a future, act accordingly. If you don't like what you see, cut bait and run sooner than later.

 

[biohazard]

Hey RT you going to take over the "Ask Desi" thread when she retires??

 

[marcinny]

I subscribe to RT's post, as well.

I like the way he formulated and listed the options.

 

[marcinny]

Hey RT you going to take over the "Ask Desi" thread when she retires??

Not only that. He will become a provider too.

 

[desilove]

Hey RT you going to take over the "Ask Desi" thread when she retires??

I wish he would, cause I could sure as shit use some advice with my own breaking up probs..Major prob is I shouldnt have to since it was supp to be casual. 4 wks later, 5 dates, 20 calls and even more texts a day. I said lust he said I love you and i cant wait to put a ring on your finger. Hello this is the stuff that gives me panic attacks and makes the ability to breathe diff

Think guys in general are as needy as woman, with as much baggage and issues as you think us women have. They are also in quite the rush to walk down that aisle, prob is as he is walking towards it and I am running, fast and furious in the other direction. Is it so hard to believe that when a woman says im not looking for anything serious that we are serious. Now my prob is that I hear from mutual friends that he sunk into a deep depression and self destructive behavior after his last GF broke up with him. You think theyd have told me this sooner So now im left wondering how to do this..help!

 

[marcinny]

I wish he would, cause I could sure as shit use some advice with my own breaking up probs..Major prob is I shouldnt have to since it was supp to be casual. 4 wks later, 5 dates, 20 calls and even more texts a day. I said lust he said I love you and i cant wait to put a ring on your finger. Hello this is the stuff that gives me panic attacks and makes the ability to breathe diff

Think guys in general are as needy as woman, with as much baggage and issues as you think us women have. They are also in quite the rush to walk down that aisle, prob is as he is walking towards it and I am running, fast and furious in the other direction. Is it so hard to believe that when a woman says im not looking for anything serious that we are serious. Now my prob is that I hear from mutual friends that he sunk into a deep depression and self destructive behavior after his last GF broke up with him. You think theyd have told me this sooner So now im left wondering how to do this..help!

Hey, you certainly should not accept to be blackmailed by his potential depression to compromise with the major decisions in your life.

One way could be to try to convince him to give it more time. Five dates is ridiculously fast. If he waits a little he will certainly understand what a pain in the ass you are and he will back off.

Of course, human nature wants it that when he says "let's not do it" you, your reply must be: "Why not? You promised!"

 

[desilove]

thanks but prob is i dont want to wait nor do I need anymore time to know he is not for me...he is very needy, we have absolutely nothing in common (well other than we both love me)..seriously our convos are dead air, he calls me 20x a day but has nothing to say and if it wasnt for my expert ability to babble it would be complete silence. When I say Im busy and cant drive up (he lives 1.5 hrs away) he gets all poor me and than when i ask during call #17 what his plans for the weekend are he says "well since im not seeing you nothing"..I cant and dont want to be his world, maybe we can set him up with Gavy's girl sounds like a match made in heaven. Im just gonna call him tonight and be straight and point out we have nothing in common and the distance just wont work since his car needs a tranny and its all on me..he offers to train it down but I do NOT have any desire for him to meet my kids and again im just not that into him (so want to see that move). At this point it is all charity work on my end.

 

[marcinny]

we have absolutely nothing in common (well other than we both love me)

Hahahahahahaaha, you fucking hilarious... and wicked.

 

[marcinny]

thanks but prob is i dont want to wait nor do I need anymore time to know he is not for me...he is very needy

Yeah, probably you're right. The sooner you cut it off the less painful it may be for him. Anyway.

seriously our convos are dead air, he calls me 20x a day but has nothing to say and if it wasnt for my expert ability to babble it would be complete silence. When I say Im busy and cant drive up (he lives 1.5 hrs away) he gets all poor me and than when i ask during call #17 what his plans for the weekend are he says "well since im not seeing you nothing"..

I don't like this a bit.

maybe we can set him up with Gavy's girl sounds like a match made in heaven.

Hey, we don't how she is yet. You wouldn't want to feel bad when Gavy's says he is going to marry her.

we have nothing in common and the distance just wont work since his car needs a tranny and its all on me...

A tranny? In this site that means only one thing.

 

[biohazard]

Hey desi where do you find these people!! sfsf

 

[RuffToy]

...since his car needs a tranny...

Post or Pre op

 

[RuffToy]

..Major prob is I shouldnt have to since it was supp to be casual. 4 wks later, 5 dates, 20 calls and even more texts a day. I said lust he said I love you and i cant wait to put a ring on your finger. Hello this is the stuff that gives me panic attacks and makes the ability to breathe diff...

You're an easy gal to fall for. But it takes a strong confident man to handle a women like you IRL.

 

[fuckingahole]

Just act as snotty as you do towards me and surely he will tell you to GFY and there you have it.

I dont know what other advice to offer you.. I take it this is your HS boy so you cant just come clean with what you do or be a big deuce to him so try being honest and if that dosent work just go silent on him... if he jumps off a bridge, he does.. obviously he has other problems then and you cant be responsible for them.

Sorry, typing on the fly.. have to run.. but thats my best advice..