How do you guys stop?
- Thread starter keepitcovered
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My social circle has always used: "Denial, it ain't just a river in Egypt"
My personal opinion has been touched upon by several others here to various degrees. It can be easy to stay away if you have something else to keep you busy that you enjoy more. Let's use gaming, in my example. I love RPGs. Grew up playing Zelda, Final Fantasy, various and sundry amazing games. Would play for hours, run every sidequest, get every item. Almost never finished any of 'em because I'd start something new and it'd hook me. Loved playing Hearthstone when it first came out and basically never logged into LOTRO again despite investing time and money into that game. Did the same thing to hearthstone when the mobile game I currently play came out.
One can have an addictive personality without being addicted, per se, to something. But the behaviors can be similar and the ramifications are just as real.
I would say that if one wants to stay away from this lifestyle, they have to identify WHY they're engaging in it in the first place. Once you've found that answer, you can start exploring possible alternatives that might let you feel the same whatever-it-is you're jonesing for in the first place.
My personal opinion has been touched upon by several others here to various degrees. It can be easy to stay away if you have something else to keep you busy that you enjoy more. Let's use gaming, in my example. I love RPGs. Grew up playing Zelda, Final Fantasy, various and sundry amazing games. Would play for hours, run every sidequest, get every item. Almost never finished any of 'em because I'd start something new and it'd hook me. Loved playing Hearthstone when it first came out and basically never logged into LOTRO again despite investing time and money into that game. Did the same thing to hearthstone when the mobile game I currently play came out.
One can have an addictive personality without being addicted, per se, to something. But the behaviors can be similar and the ramifications are just as real.
I would say that if one wants to stay away from this lifestyle, they have to identify WHY they're engaging in it in the first place. Once you've found that answer, you can start exploring possible alternatives that might let you feel the same whatever-it-is you're jonesing for in the first place.
But I am simply saying that sex, eating, sleeping and self-preservation are the four primitive urges shared by every human and every animal. They are biological necessities.
Drugs, gambling, shopping, et cetera are not biological necessities. You can give those up cold turkey and still survive biologically. They have their origin in the mind.
Sex, food, sleep and self-preservation if not given a physical outlet will cause the physical organism to cease or become crippled. Also, to not allow one or the other of sex, food, sleep, self-preservation to have expression, causes the other urges to become more active.
For instance, sleep deprived could cause an over-load on self-preservation or eating more or even more sex as you are denied the equilibrium of sleep. Many people who have eliminated sex, over-eat. Sex is the least important of the 4 primitive urges because it can be sublimated by masturbation or sickness or disease can deplete its function. If a young healthy strong boy or man is producing semen and does not allow outlet, his behavior becomes violent and also the prostate becomes enlarged and causes great pain.
Age usually depletes the insatiable sex drive that men have in youth. But that desire that is not allowed expression through the body remains in the conscious and subconscious mind and disturbs clarity of mind. One might act out in other ways that are considered perverted or put an overload on sleep, food and self-preservation or turn to drugs to appease that unsatisfied urge.
I had a girlfriend who had a male dog that she neutered. When her and I engaged is sex, the dog used to watch and try to imitate us by humping the couch. the dog was not erect because his organs were destroyed but the urge still remained in the mind of the dog as he tried to perform the action that nature provided.
Catholic priests are denied sex with women so they seek out altar boys and probably each other.
Sex is the primal urge that put you here on earth. Do you think that mother nature will allow you to forget that basic instinct?
Taoist and tantra yoga experts like Mantak Chia give discourses on ancient practices where the semen produced by men is internally boiled by vigorous yogic practice and breathing and the semen bypasses the penis outlet and the essence of the semen travels up the spine to the brain and then showers down through the nervous system allowing the yogi to experience a high level of bliss. And there are other practices like this used in the Himalayan cave monasteries where men consciously give up sex and they sublimate in this fashion and not through masturbation because they believe the loss of sexual vitality through sex and masturbation robs them of their life-force that could be used to focus on higher levels of spiritual pursuits that produce pleasures higher than mere ejaculation. But, of course these practices are not ordinarily understood and practiced by us as they take time and patience to cultivate. It was common amongst Shaolin monks and gong-fu and qi-gong masters.
Experiment on yourself if you are sexually active and deny yourself sex and masturbation for a month and monitor your behavior and you will have first hand knowledge of its power. You will change completely.
You will have to give up this forum and porn and you will have to discard sex from your mind each time a thought emerges. You will have to relinquish sexual thoughts because if you don't, the next thing you know, you will be grabbing your penis to engage it.
Drugs, gambling, shopping, et cetera are not biological necessities. You can give those up cold turkey and still survive biologically. They have their origin in the mind.
Sex, food, sleep and self-preservation if not given a physical outlet will cause the physical organism to cease or become crippled. Also, to not allow one or the other of sex, food, sleep, self-preservation to have expression, causes the other urges to become more active.
For instance, sleep deprived could cause an over-load on self-preservation or eating more or even more sex as you are denied the equilibrium of sleep. Many people who have eliminated sex, over-eat. Sex is the least important of the 4 primitive urges because it can be sublimated by masturbation or sickness or disease can deplete its function. If a young healthy strong boy or man is producing semen and does not allow outlet, his behavior becomes violent and also the prostate becomes enlarged and causes great pain.
Age usually depletes the insatiable sex drive that men have in youth. But that desire that is not allowed expression through the body remains in the conscious and subconscious mind and disturbs clarity of mind. One might act out in other ways that are considered perverted or put an overload on sleep, food and self-preservation or turn to drugs to appease that unsatisfied urge.
I had a girlfriend who had a male dog that she neutered. When her and I engaged is sex, the dog used to watch and try to imitate us by humping the couch. the dog was not erect because his organs were destroyed but the urge still remained in the mind of the dog as he tried to perform the action that nature provided.
Catholic priests are denied sex with women so they seek out altar boys and probably each other.
Sex is the primal urge that put you here on earth. Do you think that mother nature will allow you to forget that basic instinct?
Taoist and tantra yoga experts like Mantak Chia give discourses on ancient practices where the semen produced by men is internally boiled by vigorous yogic practice and breathing and the semen bypasses the penis outlet and the essence of the semen travels up the spine to the brain and then showers down through the nervous system allowing the yogi to experience a high level of bliss. And there are other practices like this used in the Himalayan cave monasteries where men consciously give up sex and they sublimate in this fashion and not through masturbation because they believe the loss of sexual vitality through sex and masturbation robs them of their life-force that could be used to focus on higher levels of spiritual pursuits that produce pleasures higher than mere ejaculation. But, of course these practices are not ordinarily understood and practiced by us as they take time and patience to cultivate. It was common amongst Shaolin monks and gong-fu and qi-gong masters.
Experiment on yourself if you are sexually active and deny yourself sex and masturbation for a month and monitor your behavior and you will have first hand knowledge of its power. You will change completely.
You will have to give up this forum and porn and you will have to discard sex from your mind each time a thought emerges. You will have to relinquish sexual thoughts because if you don't, the next thing you know, you will be grabbing your penis to engage it.
So I started in this life when i was 16. It’s now been 30 years. It’s been a year since my last visit to any type of provider. I sat back and calculated the actual cost of my mongering, and threw up. Lots of crying. Lots of regret. Factoring in a conservative interest rate, my habit has cost me in the area of $500,000. Let that sink in. And thats conservative. I figured roughly $500 a month wasted. Some years more, some years less. Very sobering exercise to quantify what I’ve done. With nothing to show for it. So combine this with all the other reasons and risks, That’s why I finally stopped. Do I miss it? Yes. I don’t believe there’s a substitute for a good provider that treats you like a king. But, sometimes you have to grow up. Good luck with your journey.
I've been burning a good deal more than that for the last few years and now there isn't any more to burn. Yes, the girls love me, too. The problem with becoming a connoisseur is that each girl who becomes a regular satisfies a different, but sometimes overlapping, set of my needs. This scene came to replace a lot of important things in a healthy life. I could easily see 4 girls a week, just based on my current rotation. The thing is that I really like them. I've gone just once over the last two weeks and only for a massage with a HE. I've given a few of them, including a mamasan, notice that I'll be taking time off for the real world. I think I did this so that I would be embarrassed to go back too soon. I'm jonesing for my girls. I know that shitty feeling when you walk out of a place having spent too much that you didn't really have just to drain your balls. But my current providers are so good and familiar to me, that I don't get that anymore. Instead, the feeling is "that was amazing but, buddy, this has to stop sometime". I started doing this regularly about ten years ago. I was making good money and had horrible stress at home. My weekly treat was a two-hour massage with a HE. If I had stayed with that, I'd have been fine but it became my coping mechanism. As you explore, you come to want more and then you find it. I've been pushing the envelope and been having experiences that I didn't know were possible. You get this when you invest enough time, money and personality into this pursuit. I know that I'm never going to lose the itch. My best hope is to get back to the point where it's something I do but not the only thing. The addiction word has certainly come to mind but sometimes I think of a pleasanter one. It's a lifestyle, just one that I can't afford any longer.
1. I literally said it's not the same thing... in the message that you are quoting. We disagree on enough things. You don't need to lie about what I said in order to have something else to be stupid about.
2. It's not my "assertion". It's the World Health Organizations. And I don't need you to buy it. Science doesn't care what you believe.
2. It's not my "assertion". It's the World Health Organizations. And I don't need you to buy it. Science doesn't care what you believe.
Yeah, and if you started at age 16 finding food wherever you could find it (dumpster behind restaurants perhaps) instead of buying food, lived in a piece of crap car instead of a decent apartment and car, got your clothes from salvation army bins, just think of all the more money you would have now have that you didn't waste.
You have the memories of mammaries fondled, pussies plowed and asses assaulted (sorry - I like alliteration). Or, while drooling while sitting in your nursing home wheelchair, you could think about all that extra money you have by not wasting it.
Great. Another layman's expert medical opinion. No one is saying that gambling, sex and shopping addictions are the same as biological needs. But you comparing those addictions to simple desires as also not correct. Addiction is a disease.
FYI, people have died from withdrawal. Perhaps not from sex addiction, but certainly from drug addiction.
FYI, people have died from withdrawal. Perhaps not from sex addiction, but certainly from drug addiction.
Many, many years ago I would have said "F**k the dinner", scraped the dinner off the hot young naked woman and mounted her. The thinking would be "I can always just walk down the street to a restaurant to find dinner but a hot young naked woman is not as easy to find."
Now, if offered, my 1st thought may be "do I have a choice of entre?".
Now, if offered, my 1st thought may be "do I have a choice of entre?".
Don't know if this applies to sex addiction but I recall (and can be found with a google search as I just did) of experiments on rodents and non-human primates that have been shown to work in a compulsive manner to receive intravenous injections of stimulants, and when access to the drugs is not limited, they will self-administer drugs to the point of severe weight loss and death.