How do you guys stop?
- Thread starter keepitcovered
- Start date
@keepitcovered thanks for starting this post. I'm struggling with some of the same feelings and was wondering if there was a thread to talk about it. In my 20's and 30's I was completely addicted, and the business was much different. There were pages of escort services in the phone book and you just called and a girl came to your home, and you paid by credit card. FS, everything covered, flat price, no upsell or tip. I got myself into a lot of credit card debt. I also occasionally went to Brothels in NYC which were advertised in the backpages of the Village Voice, which is where I believe the name of the infamous website originated. In a story much like the one above by @lightweight , I once went in with a bad feeling and did it anyway, and it was a sting, and I spent a night in jail. No one knows about that except myself. Anyway, that didn't stop me. My parents found out about my debt, and were kind/stupid enough to bail me out of that. That didn't stop me. Finally, I made a choice to get engaged and married, and somehow I was able to stop. However, over the years, there would be struggles. I guess its like any addiction, you are never really cured. After 18 years of no mongering, last October I finally gave in. I started by limiting myself to R&T situations and telling myself I'm not really cheating if my dick isn't going inside of any mouth, pussy or ass. But that's just fooling myself, and of course it was only a matter of time before I gave in and went for full service. (See my reviews). Now I'm struggling everyday, because, I really like it, but it makes me feel very guilty, and I'm spending way too much money. I keep trying to make a plan by saying, ok, I won't do anything again for at least X amount of time, but then I fail. I also go back and forth about guilt and the need to enjoy life. Its also really frustrating when I sometimes have problems maintaining with a provider, which I believe is totally in my head because of my mixed feelings. Likewise, when I have problems performing with my SO, I'm so afraid she'll find out other things are going on. I too want to stay married, my only problem with marriage is the concept of monogamy. Hell, if I thought for a second that my SO would be into fucking another guy, I'd push for the open marriage thing, but I know that's never going to happen.
I guess misery loves company, so I thank you for giving me a spot to kind of vent this as well, and maybe just by sharing we can feel a little better knowing that many others go through the same things. And so that's my group therapy contribution.
I guess misery loves company, so I thank you for giving me a spot to kind of vent this as well, and maybe just by sharing we can feel a little better knowing that many others go through the same things. And so that's my group therapy contribution.
Theres really no stopping.
You can try to tie yourself down to a nice beautiful girl. But then you’ll pass by all the Hotels and motels where you hooked up with high class escorts and reminisce.
You’ll pass the streets and neighborhoods where you picked up your raunchy car dates and recollect how they swallowed every drop of you.
You’ll restrain yourself for as long as you possibly can. But like a vampire, you’ll go out looking for fresh meat.
The thirst always wins....
You can try to tie yourself down to a nice beautiful girl. But then you’ll pass by all the Hotels and motels where you hooked up with high class escorts and reminisce.
You’ll pass the streets and neighborhoods where you picked up your raunchy car dates and recollect how they swallowed every drop of you.
You’ll restrain yourself for as long as you possibly can. But like a vampire, you’ll go out looking for fresh meat.
The thirst always wins....
Exactly. Same way here. Some weeks I'll go without it and tell myself I am just going to stop and see one chick or whatnot then afterwards you remember about that thrill you had with XYZ girl and go back to doing it from stratch. I can have the hottest girl for a low price but get tired of her faster because she makes herself too available for me. Turning me off. I rather go back to square one and go on the "hunt" for a new girl even if she is less hot than her and doesn't let me smash right away. Sometimes game helps, sometimes money helps, sometimes a little of being nice/respectful helps. Is a mixture of what she is looking for.
Some girls just want to be listened to and a little bit of money. Others just want money and you being respectful goes a long way. Overall money is an option but it doesn't have to be expensive either you just got to know when, how and where to execute these ideas at the right time.
I have too many girls like this where I hunted -> got it -> makes herself too available (shows pictures/videos) without me asking -> I get turned off and go hunting again. Is a dumb cycle sometimes I tell myself yo this girl is hot why I go back to this shit. Is just the thrill of the first time.
If you want to stop ..go ahead but don't lie to yourself.
Some girls just want to be listened to and a little bit of money. Others just want money and you being respectful goes a long way. Overall money is an option but it doesn't have to be expensive either you just got to know when, how and where to execute these ideas at the right time.
I have too many girls like this where I hunted -> got it -> makes herself too available (shows pictures/videos) without me asking -> I get turned off and go hunting again. Is a dumb cycle sometimes I tell myself yo this girl is hot why I go back to this shit. Is just the thrill of the first time.
If you want to stop ..go ahead but don't lie to yourself.
Here’s my two cents - I don’t know how anyone stops, me included. I get so angry sometimes and swear I’m done with the business and done with UG and done with people... but it’s like an addiction. You can’t help but wonder what happens next. And ultimately, nothing is as fun as sex or as natural. So enjoy it.
Yeah, during my single days 30 years ago I did have a hot car similar to a Porsche and I did as you say "pick up hot chics and bang them for free". But it may have been "free" moneywise (not counting dinner, entertainment, etc) but let me assure you it was not free when each and every one of them started to want more from me (not talking $) than I was willing to give causing all kinds of grief to the point where it interfered with my profession.
It's just so much easier to rent them for an hour at my time and preference and pay the $'s.
It's just so much easier to rent them for an hour at my time and preference and pay the $'s.
That's the issue SB...it's not always fun when the deed is over. There is guilt, I'm married to a great girl I don't want to hurt her or bring anything home to her. I know I'm F'd up as I'm always looking for excitement, that turns out to be not exciting after I come...way exciting before.... Personally I hate that I do this, have been, and continue to. Our standards have lowered due to the lack of Craigslist, etc. We think with our dicks. And the same old same old, isn't that exciting. Every other aspect of my marriage is good. If I got an STD or worse, it would be bad. This whole thing sucks. The sex with providers isn't good for a guy who comes fast..if I jerk off first, hard to preform..that gets old too. It's more then just "sex is fun, enjoy"
I think its a man's primal instinct to hunt and dominate. You cant just "Stop" that is just going to lead to an avalanche of session after session because you have deprived yourself the need to do what our minds are wired to do. It's genetics, some men can control it, others can't. Its like addictions/vices, some can have a drink, others need to drink the entire bottle.
I think as men, the desire will always be there. Trying to overanalyze it probably only makes it worse, as is quelling the desires. Its like fat people who starve themselves to lose weight, they end up putting it all back on and more in the end.
MODERATION is my best advise for anyone really struggling. You can't take something that is hardwired into our DNA codes, and hit a stop button, or take a pill to make it go away.
I think as men, the desire will always be there. Trying to overanalyze it probably only makes it worse, as is quelling the desires. Its like fat people who starve themselves to lose weight, they end up putting it all back on and more in the end.
MODERATION is my best advise for anyone really struggling. You can't take something that is hardwired into our DNA codes, and hit a stop button, or take a pill to make it go away.