Dear Alyssa AKA The Ask Desi Lov Advice Column
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Some Useful Tips & Dear Desi CPR
MY Own version of Lettermans Top 10:
Top 10 Excuses Guys Use 2 Break-up (and What They Really Mean)
10. I don't want to hold you back from living your own life.
You're holding me back; from the chance of having a threesome before I die.
9. I Have Commitment issues.
I liked it better when I could drunk text you at 4 a.m. for a night of sloppy sex & not have to call you in the morning.
8. I need to concentrate on my career.
Making plans with you could limit the time I have to cruise for chicks w/ my boys and that is just more important than some honest emotional connection.
7. I've been hurt before, and I can't trust anyone right now.
My ex tried to convince me that candle wax is 4-play. Turns out she was wrong, and I've got the scars to prove it. Dude youve got issues
6. I don't want to ruin our friendship.
Yes such a noble man, NOT! He is thinking It might screw up any chance of ever sleeping with your hot friends.
5. We're just at different points in our lives.
You're thinking about white picket fences & 2.5 kids. I'm thinking about how can bang your cousin w/o having the family jewels cut off
4. We both need to grow as people first.
What he means is he's still got a lot of beers to drink & women to screw before my idea of a 'hot night' has anything to do with playing charades w/ a bunch of old married people "
3. I feel tied down and need a little room to breathe.
The only thing your guy wants to be tied to is your bed while you ravage his wishful thinking body and you just invited him to meet the folks.
2. It's not you, it's me.
Vague enough to mean absolutely nothing for the creatively challenged guy. He also has this misguided notion that he is James Dean and thinks this makes him sound tortured and mysterious. He also thinks it will guarantee some intense breakup sex.
1. You're too good for me.
This one's probably true. Most ladies who hear this top classic enough times will usually wind up on a shrinks couch for yrs and become a cranky old disgruntled woman who spends her afternoons drinking martinis, chain smoking w/ the girls while man bashing.
MY Own version of Lettermans Top 10:
Top 10 Excuses Guys Use 2 Break-up (and What They Really Mean)
10. I don't want to hold you back from living your own life.
You're holding me back; from the chance of having a threesome before I die.
9. I Have Commitment issues.
I liked it better when I could drunk text you at 4 a.m. for a night of sloppy sex & not have to call you in the morning.
8. I need to concentrate on my career.
Making plans with you could limit the time I have to cruise for chicks w/ my boys and that is just more important than some honest emotional connection.
7. I've been hurt before, and I can't trust anyone right now.
My ex tried to convince me that candle wax is 4-play. Turns out she was wrong, and I've got the scars to prove it. Dude youve got issues
6. I don't want to ruin our friendship.
Yes such a noble man, NOT! He is thinking It might screw up any chance of ever sleeping with your hot friends.
5. We're just at different points in our lives.
You're thinking about white picket fences & 2.5 kids. I'm thinking about how can bang your cousin w/o having the family jewels cut off
4. We both need to grow as people first.
What he means is he's still got a lot of beers to drink & women to screw before my idea of a 'hot night' has anything to do with playing charades w/ a bunch of old married people "
3. I feel tied down and need a little room to breathe.
The only thing your guy wants to be tied to is your bed while you ravage his wishful thinking body and you just invited him to meet the folks.
2. It's not you, it's me.
Vague enough to mean absolutely nothing for the creatively challenged guy. He also has this misguided notion that he is James Dean and thinks this makes him sound tortured and mysterious. He also thinks it will guarantee some intense breakup sex.
1. You're too good for me.
This one's probably true. Most ladies who hear this top classic enough times will usually wind up on a shrinks couch for yrs and become a cranky old disgruntled woman who spends her afternoons drinking martinis, chain smoking w/ the girls while man bashing.
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I love this one. It is indeed a classic. But one of those that will be around forever.
It is often true. Very often the dumpee is much better than the dumper.
It is easy to act it out. Men really believe it in those moments when they say it, so it comes natural to them.
It puts the woman in the impossible position of arguing aginst herself being too good.
It saves the man from some of the heat he would otherwise take for the break-up. After all how hard you can beat someone who says he is inferior to you.
It stealthily instills a sense of guilt to the woman for failing to make the man feel at ease with her, or for failing to understand his slip. This could be temporary of course.
It is often true. Very often the dumpee is much better than the dumper.
It is easy to act it out. Men really believe it in those moments when they say it, so it comes natural to them.
It puts the woman in the impossible position of arguing aginst herself being too good.
It saves the man from some of the heat he would otherwise take for the break-up. After all how hard you can beat someone who says he is inferior to you.
It stealthily instills a sense of guilt to the woman for failing to make the man feel at ease with her, or for failing to understand his slip. This could be temporary of course.
True I do have to be careful.
Since I moved to PA, I have 3 mistresses lined up already. You got to love these small towns.
I will be doing most of my hobbying in NJ.
Right now I am under "watch" from the wife. My wife is nothing "to sneeze at" (former stripper). I just get that "itch" for new pussy.
PA home of Little League baseball LOL. I plan to move to NJ in a year or two. Better jobs , more women, the taxes are killer but I will deal with it.
What's up to Gavy and Marc. I grew in woodside Queens and never checked out the Ficha scene. Now that is a damn shame.
I wonder if they like black men. HMMM I got to get the balls to just "go up in there".
I walked and drive to Roosevelt many times. The Problem is the transsexuals are always flirting with me.
UGH
I had a mexican connect he was cool. Gavy knows what I am talking about. A good mexican homeyboy I had. I lost his damn number I am so pissed.
The guy got me "anything" I want. I said I need bitches " he said ok papi let's drive to 82 street Colombian pussy. I said I wanted a fake social security number ( He go get it). I need some dress suits for reasonable prices (He got me those suits). I could have got drugs but last thing I need is MS 13 of Mexican Mafia on my ass. You fall in debt and it is "over" for you.
Anyway sure enough two Colombian girls half naked ready for me. I would be like "my man". I felt like Alonzo from training day. I fucked one of them and gave her my number. She called me but her english wasn't good at all. Language barrier caused me to end that situation. She came to my apartment a couple times tried to get prego. I was like "oh boy" trying to stay in the country. I moved away and never told her. To Jamaica Queens. She was a bit upset about that lol.
I love Roosevelt but I am not waking up early to get pussy lol. Some of the girls work "late" but not many.
I got so many stories I will have to tell it later.
Since I moved to PA, I have 3 mistresses lined up already. You got to love these small towns.
I will be doing most of my hobbying in NJ.
Right now I am under "watch" from the wife. My wife is nothing "to sneeze at" (former stripper). I just get that "itch" for new pussy.
PA home of Little League baseball LOL. I plan to move to NJ in a year or two. Better jobs , more women, the taxes are killer but I will deal with it.
What's up to Gavy and Marc. I grew in woodside Queens and never checked out the Ficha scene. Now that is a damn shame.
I wonder if they like black men. HMMM I got to get the balls to just "go up in there".
I walked and drive to Roosevelt many times. The Problem is the transsexuals are always flirting with me.
UGH
I had a mexican connect he was cool. Gavy knows what I am talking about. A good mexican homeyboy I had. I lost his damn number I am so pissed.
The guy got me "anything" I want. I said I need bitches " he said ok papi let's drive to 82 street Colombian pussy. I said I wanted a fake social security number ( He go get it). I need some dress suits for reasonable prices (He got me those suits). I could have got drugs but last thing I need is MS 13 of Mexican Mafia on my ass. You fall in debt and it is "over" for you.
Anyway sure enough two Colombian girls half naked ready for me. I would be like "my man". I felt like Alonzo from training day. I fucked one of them and gave her my number. She called me but her english wasn't good at all. Language barrier caused me to end that situation. She came to my apartment a couple times tried to get prego. I was like "oh boy" trying to stay in the country. I moved away and never told her. To Jamaica Queens. She was a bit upset about that lol.
I love Roosevelt but I am not waking up early to get pussy lol. Some of the girls work "late" but not many.
I got so many stories I will have to tell it later.
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Hey Irv,
Yeah, I have notcied that a lot of the cholas won't mess with the brothers. But I would say that all these bouncers are black and at least half of them, maybe more, got a girlfriend in the club. It can be done.
As for the Mexican connect, yeah, I "KNOW" what you are talking about. I can mess with the fake ID and the herb, but if I ever wanted a "girl", everyone on the scen would know about it.
Now I do know that MS 13 is on Roosevelt right now. I know that Vatos Locos and the two branches of the Pelones are still over there too. There is Gang activity all over Roosevelt from 50th all the way to Main St. Believe it or not, the Tongs work very closely with the Vatos Locos and their IDs. It's almost like VL is the Latin arm of the Chinese mafia. I think, but am not certain, that the Pelones are there own little group unto themselves.
Irv, I love when you post. Yeah, you got your haters, but I love you...
Gavy
Yeah, I have notcied that a lot of the cholas won't mess with the brothers. But I would say that all these bouncers are black and at least half of them, maybe more, got a girlfriend in the club. It can be done.
As for the Mexican connect, yeah, I "KNOW" what you are talking about. I can mess with the fake ID and the herb, but if I ever wanted a "girl", everyone on the scen would know about it.
Now I do know that MS 13 is on Roosevelt right now. I know that Vatos Locos and the two branches of the Pelones are still over there too. There is Gang activity all over Roosevelt from 50th all the way to Main St. Believe it or not, the Tongs work very closely with the Vatos Locos and their IDs. It's almost like VL is the Latin arm of the Chinese mafia. I think, but am not certain, that the Pelones are there own little group unto themselves.
Irv, I love when you post. Yeah, you got your haters, but I love you...
Gavy