Anyone have a real Sugar Baby?

[billyS]

So first off I'm discounting anything going on in the SA thread. The majority of the girls advertising there are flat out whores who would be on the sites we are not allowed to mention if Seeking Arraignments didn't exist. The rest are just convincing themselves they aren't.
Most of the guys posting seem to be just looking for one and done, even if they have a "rotation" then that rotation is of girls who are for sex visits for a fixed cost. No judgement, just an observation.

No, I'm wondering if anyone else has a girl who you spend multiple hours per visit, maybe eat or watch TV between rounds. Do you take her to dinner, lunch once in a while, take her grocery shopping to help her out, stuff like that.

If so, how is the allowance handled? Weekly, monthly?

I didn't open this thread to argue the first paragraph but to open dialogue on the other points.

So, anyone with or who has had a real SB?

 

[jeff718]

I’ve had an SB for 6 months last year. I’m in my 30s and she was in late 20s. We got along very well. Good chemistry. Throughout the arrangement she ended up ending things 2x because she was trying to get back with her ex boyfriend but eventually we still managed to hangout. It was routinely $2k a month but usually gave weekly 500-600 on average. We’d go out or stayed in, took her to a couple broadway shows including Hamilton and last year got her a LV bag for Christmas since her birthday was close to Christmas. In all it was fun but she eventually went back to her boyfriend but we still remain friends and grab food every now and then with no allowance or whatever. I did end up helping her get a job in the same industry I’m in but that was by far the best experience that came out of the site for me. She did end up at some point recommending her friend who was also on the site but only followed through once and just didn’t want things to feel awkward.

 

[mcalandra]

yes i have had and currently have a real Sugar Baby. its essentially dating, or a Mob guy with a gu-madre.... i am seeing a single mother, she is 27. we met chatted, discussed an arrangement and it was like dating. we had to LIKE each other. took her to a concert, got to know her. realized she talks alot and fucks harder when drinking (). 3rd date was at my house, we fucked, went to lunch and fucked again. 4th date was also house and was an amazing 3 hour fuck fest. she asked me to take her shopping for some expensive boots. i agreed, but when time
came i changed plans and we stayed in and cooked food between sex. i gave her $ to get boots. she sent me pics of her in said boots... and wore them to our next date. hasnt asked me for anything else yet but i am sure witg xmas here she will.

past Sugar Babies
asked for a fixed monthly allowance, and we would text/talk 4-5 times a week and approx once a week, go for dinner and shack up.

a real Sugar Baby is way more $, but the emotional connection is more real, but still economically induced. just feels more intimate and the sex feels more organic and discussions about protection not as prevalent. my current baby not on BC and was so into riding me she ignored my warnings and told me she needed to feel
me cumminside her. then loll, asked for a Plan B and said “shit i need to get back on BC!”. that just doesnt happen with a whore. thats someone who likes u and loves how you fuck them... as a middle aged guy, having someone that hot for me is a real ego boost and a turn on

 

[Gooey2k]

Over the years I've had a few that I considered "real" sugar babies. What I consider falls into that category is someone who when you are together, is like a real dating/relationship type of situation, but with NONE of the bad parts. No head games, or arguing, or relationship bullshit. I make sure they know that if any of that stuff happens, the arrangement is over. When out in public, they act and treat you like you are their boyfriend. There IS a real and genuine attraction and has to be in order to make it work. That is why I prefer this type of dating. Too much bullshit and games in traditional dating. But its not an everyday thing. We would see each other once or twice a week and the rest of the time is fun flirty text/phone communication. When we would meet, it would never be for any set length of time. Usually a full day and evening of activities. If its real, then it would be anything you would do in a normal dating relationship. Dinners, movies, shopping, vacations, staying in and cooking, go to concerts. Whatever comes to mind. But the evening always ends with the expected sexual intimacy. That is the one non-negotiable item that always happens. Of the 3 or 4 I can remember that were like this, they all lasted multiple years. Age ranges were all over the place, in the 20's 30's and one was 40, but all younger then me. All were on birth control. And yes, I've had a few of them happening at the same time. All were in the $1k a month range, and they got part of that allowance each week we saw each other. All of the other dating expenses for activities were covered by me. Little gifts here and there, including birthdays and holidays. If we ended up not seeing each other due to schedules, then there was no allowance that week. On rare occasions I would send (partial) money to them if we didn't see each other that week, but it was because I knew they needed it, and we had a good relationship. Its always worked for me because I was consistent, and I always treated them well and with respect. Its actually a pretty simple concept if you can find the ones mature enough to make it work.

 

[Chuck One]

I had a girl I was seeing 2-4 times a month. We'd go out to dinner when I was in town on business. Evenings would last 2 to 6 hours never overinght she said she didnt want me to hear her snore. We had a per meet thing but I would send her money/do things for her if she asked/ was in a bind. Lasted a year until she met her BF. Can't do that sort of stuff near home.

I've repeated this formula a few times some longer than others. Most of the chicks talked about in the other threads would not work for this.

I have an interesting one right now. We chatted never talked about money. I knew she had never met anyone before and through good detective work determined she was friends with my last chick. We never talked about money or how it should work. On our first date I didn't even know if we were going to fuck but she came back to my room and we literally held hands for 20 minutes before she attacked me. While she was in the shower I put cash in her purse. Pretty sure I am the only one she's seeing.

 

[h50]

I'm wondering if anyone else has a girl who you spend multiple hours per visit, maybe eat or watch TV between rounds. Do you take her to dinner, lunch once in a while, take her grocery shopping to help her out, stuff like that.

If so, how is the allowance handled? Weekly, monthly?

I didn't open this thread to argue the first paragraph but to open dialogue on the other points.

So, anyone with or who has had a real SB?

I've "documented" some of my "real SB" experience over the years although I've done so in a way where neither me nor she has had any of our personal information revealed. It could matter to some extent but I think there is enough neutral stuff to discuss that it more or less doesn't matter. I think it's 4 years now. We've had out ups and downs we're probably between the two right now.

As to the activities you mention yes we've done all that, plus shows, concerts, trips, shopping, yes even supermarket trips, some stuff I won't mention, and really so much that I probably couldn't even recall it all to provide a list. And yes it's not just wham bam although it can be anywhere from an hours to multiple days. I can't even day there is an average as although we've just sometimes done lunch or dinner or even breakfast we've also also spent whole days, nights, etc. At that point it does not really get timed. We also meet from once a week to everyday sometimes even and more than once a day if one of us had something going on although that's more rare.

The basis of the allowance is ppm. And then a ton of stuff gets tacked on. I never thought it would be that way but it is. All by my choice and agreement though. Just like it's hard trying to say how many hours we meet per meet or per week it's also hard to say how much it comes to say monthly. Some dates have cost me $2k many $1K. So at the of the month it's probably min 2K to the sky is the limit depending upon what we've done or not. I'm not including allowance here but everything. But even if so if we meet 10 times one month and 22 times another month well it's all over the place.

It's kind of weird when you think about it because sometimes you're doing things you won't even be doing for a girlfriend but at the same time they're you're non girlfriend girlfriend. I don't like make parts of that but have to take the good with the bad I guess.

We got along very well. Good chemistry. Throughout the arrangement she ended up ending things 2x because she was trying to get back with her ex boyfriend but eventually we still managed to hangout. It was routinely $2k a month but usually gave weekly 500-600 on average. We’d go out or stayed in, took her to a couple broadway shows including Hamilton and last year got her a LV bag for Christmas since her birthday was close to Christmas. In all it was fun but she eventually went back to her boyfriend but we still remain friends and grab food every now and then with no allowance or whatever. I did end up helping her get a job in the same industry I’m in but that was by far the best experience that came out of the site for me. She did end up at some point recommending her friend who was also on the site but only followed through once and just didn’t want things to feel awkward.

I think the chemistry has to be near perfect for those two people's chemistry needs. It probably won't sustain itself otherwise even if you're doing wham bam. As a consequence notions like NSA take on other meanings it just has to. And yes as with your job examples we've both helped each other out in many many ways.

a real Sugar Baby is way more $, but the emotional connection is more real, but still economically induced. just feels more intimate and the sex feels more organic and discussions about protection not as prevalent. my current baby not on BC and was so into riding me she ignored my warnings and told me she needed to feel
me cumminside her. then loll, asked for a Plan B and said “shit i need to get back on BC!”. that just doesnt happen with a whore. thats someone who likes u and loves how you fuck them... as a middle aged guy, having someone that hot for me is a real ego boost and a turn on

I think a real SB being more money is true. And yes I was kinda saying that above and I've mentioned this in message in the other thread over the years but there is also an emotional including a coldness aspect to it all that you have to be very aware of and it's varing depending upon the two people involved. It can make for problems but if the two people are mature enough it can be gotten through many times.

Over the years I've had a few that I considered "real" sugar babies. What I consider falls into that category is someone who when you are together, is like a real dating/relationship type of situation, but with NONE of the bad parts. No head games, or arguing, or relationship bullshit. I make sure they know that if any of that stuff happens, the arrangement is over. When out in public, they act and treat you like you are their boyfriend. There IS a real and genuine attraction and has to be in order to make it work. That is why I prefer this type of dating. Too much bullshit and games in traditional dating. But its not an everyday thing. We would see each other once or twice a week and the rest of the time is fun flirty text/phone communication. When we would meet, it would never be for any set length of time. Usually a full day and evening of activities. If its real, then it would be anything you would do in a normal dating relationship. Dinners, movies, shopping, vacations, staying in and cooking, go to concerts. Whatever comes to mind. But the evening always ends with the expected sexual intimacy. That is the one non-negotiable item that always happens. Of the 3 or 4 I can remember that were like this, they all lasted multiple years. Age ranges were all over the place, in the 20's 30's and one was 40, but all younger then me. All were on birth control. And yes, I've had a few of them happening at the same time. All were in the $1k a month range, and they got part of that allowance each week we saw each other. All of the other dating expenses for activities were covered by me. Little gifts here and there, including birthdays and holidays. If we ended up not seeing each other due to schedules, then there was no allowance that week. On rare occasions I would send (partial) money to them if we didn't see each other that week, but it was because I knew they needed it, and we had a good relationship. Its always worked for me because I was consistent, and I always treated them well and with respect. Its actually a pretty simple concept if you can find the ones mature enough to make it work.

I think maneuvering through any relationship of any length and connection involves issues that will pop up including BS, arguing and head games, and requires active work from both parties to avoid, deal with, and move forward, IMO sugaring no exclusion to this. It's a give and a take and need to balance for both right. You have to account for misunderstanding and such too. But for sure if it's just that it's over.

And yes you get treated "as a boyfriend" and they "as a girlfriend" sometimes even with those expectations on both side but as mentioned above also not.

 

[Gooey2k]

All of the ones I considered real, none of them were money hungry, and they rarely ever even mentioned the allowance money. I knew they appreciated it. When we would be saying goodnight that evening, or the next morning after we woke up and had our breakfast, I would simply slip the money in their purse or pocket, and it was never even mentioned. Most of the girls on SA don't get it. You have to work a bit to find the good ones who know how to make the long game work for them.

 

[h50]

I'm unclear on that as for instance if you didn't put the money in their purse that is didn't give it to them especially repeatedly would they still not mention it?

 

[Secret Depth]

All of the ones I considered real, none of them were money hungry, and they rarely ever even mentioned the allowance money. I knew they appreciated it. When we would be saying goodnight that evening, or the next morning after we woke up and had our breakfast, I would simply slip the money in their purse or pocket, and it was never even mentioned. Most of the girls on SA don't get it. You have to work a bit to find the good ones who know how to make the long game work for them.

To be fair to them there are a lot of slime balls that would just bail on them without slipping them money and then never call them again too. Some are whores, but others have had a bad experience. Its really important to get to them first or before they had a bad experience and become jaded.

I consider most of the babes I see for any extensive period of time a real SB. That definition may be different for me because I am hitched, so all night-ers and staying over my place aren't options. I also work a lot, so I want to keep time invested to a min. 2 hrs normal and 4 hours maxed. I have brought one with me on business trips, but most of the meetings are a motel/hotel. The length of time and things we spoke about 'the connection' was different from the one night-ers. One girl I was seeing for 3 years another for a 1.5 and another for 9 months with mostly weekly meets. I always prefer a PPM type situation, but would do a weekly thing. With these girls there are extra times I help them and occasional gifts that I buy them. One girl that I am with right now I will probably give her a gift card with $500 on it for Christmas

 

[mcalandra]

Over the years I've had a few that I considered "real" sugar babies. What I consider falls into that category is someone who when you are together, is like a real dating/relationship type of situation, but with NONE of the bad parts. No head games, or arguing, or relationship bullshit. I make sure they know that if any of that stuff happens, the arrangement is over. When out in public, they act and treat you like you are their boyfriend. There IS a real and genuine attraction and has to be in order to make it work. That is why I prefer this type of dating. Too much bullshit and games in traditional dating. But its not an everyday thing. We would see each other once or twice a week and the rest of the time is fun flirty text/phone communication. When we would meet, it would never be for any set length of time. Usually a full day and evening of activities. If its real, then it would be anything you would do in a normal dating relationship. Dinners, movies, shopping, vacations, staying in and cooking, go to concerts. Whatever comes to mind. But the evening always ends with the expected sexual intimacy. That is the one non-negotiable item that always happens. Of the 3 or 4 I can remember that were like this, they all lasted multiple years. Age ranges were all over the place, in the 20's 30's and one was 40, but all younger then me. All were on birth control. And yes, I've had a few of them happening at the same time. All were in the $1k a month range, and they got part of that allowance each week we saw each other. All of the other dating expenses for activities were covered by me. Little gifts here and there, including birthdays and holidays. If we ended up not seeing each other due to schedules, then there was no allowance that week. On rare occasions I would send (partial) money to them if we didn't see each other that week, but it was because I knew they needed it, and we had a good relationship. Its always worked for me because I was consistent, and I always treated them well and with respect. Its actually a pretty simple concept if you can find the ones mature enough to make it work.

thats cheaper than the SBs i had. current one is about $1k/montg but only together 3/4 times a month. one before was over $2k, and my most complicated was $4k/month

 

[Gooey2k]

I'm unclear on that as for instance if you didn't put the money in their purse that is didn't give it to them especially repeatedly would they still not mention it?

No, in the beginning the ground rules and allowance were set. Once that is done, then it just becomes a regular thing that happens without mention at the end of each visit. I prefer it that way so it doesn't feel like its a transactional thing. Just me helping her out and she takes care of me.

 

[h50]

Ok I see what you mean now. With my ATF I do it many ways but never without her knowledge as I don't feel handing her the money is transactional and I trust her (but only her) enough to take it (and monies for other reasons we're needing too) herself sometimes. Often it's with a thanks and a hug and a kiss but if she's writing a bill or something I'll just give it to her. Plus I'd rather she know she got it and put it somewhere she knows of. Any others is usually at the end only but still directly to them with a thanks etc.

 

[chevyman53]

I had one a few years back meet her at a friends house for bbq. My buddy introduced us we talked found out her boyfriend left her and her daughter stuck with bills and rent she can not afford on her own. We hit it off started the usual make out connected. We left went to her place and spent the night. Saw her a few more times got a good feeling. I own a few rentals I had a two bedroom open up I offered her free rent (a $1,700 dollar a month at that time)
Of course in exchange to keep going on as we are. She worked as a secretary making ok but still not enough to pay rent daycare pay off the debt from boy friend left her with. Lasted about three years I felt it was time for her to find someone stable. Let her stay half rent she found a nice guy moved into his place and got married and all is great still talk to her once in awhile

 

[Gooey2k]

I think you misunderstood. They were always aware I was giving them the allowance. I'm not doing it without her knowing. When I say its never mentioned, I mean I give her the money by putting it in her pocket or purse, but we don't talk about it. She knows it happening. She says thank you and we kiss goodnight.

 

[pokler]

So first off I'm discounting anything going on in the SA thread. The majority of the girls advertising there are flat out whores who would be on the sites we are not allowed to mention if Seeking Arraignments didn't exist. The rest are just convincing themselves they aren't.
Most of the guys posting seem to be just looking for one and done, even if they have a "rotation" then that rotation is of girls who are for sex visits for a fixed cost. No judgement, just an observation.

No, I'm wondering if anyone else has a girl who you spend multiple hours per visit, maybe eat or watch TV between rounds. Do you take her to dinner, lunch once in a while, take her grocery shopping to help her out, stuff like that.

If so, how is the allowance handled? Weekly, monthly?

I didn't open this thread to argue the first paragraph but to open dialogue on the other points.

So, anyone with or who has had a real SB?

Great idea to start this thread. My problem with the other is everyone bragging they did this or that with a girl and they they state an amount of damage. But seldom say how much time they stayed with her. This leaves the reader to think it’s just another p4p transaction like the ones conjured up on XX a few years ago. I’ve had a few SBs I’ve seen multi times for multiple hours and often together. When I get time later in the week I’ll share my details .

 

[h50]

If it wasn't clear from my message I don't stay a certain amount of time with my main SB. Sometimes it's an hour but rarely. Usually 4 hours+. If it's a trip it's anywhere from a whole day to a few days. Very often a "visit" has been a whole day let's say 12 hours, or 20 hours. We don't just fuck in fact that's only a small part when it's all considered. We change it up so often there is no set. From this perspective it's kind of like how much time to you spend with your gf and nobody thinks that way per se it's just whatever you do or don't do together and not you're paying me by the hour and your 45 min is up. On the other hand on days where it's longer she'll end up with lots more than the allowance in some way or another whereas with a real gf it often would not (normal caveat here).

 

[bakkslash]

Great idea to start this thread. My problem with the other is everyone bragging they did this or that with a girl and they they state an amount of damage. But seldom say how much time they stayed with her. This leaves the reader to think it’s just another p4p transaction like the ones conjured up on XX a few years ago...

I agree - I like this idea. I'm uncomfortable with using the actual profile names in the other thread for all the obvious reasons, but to each their own. A while back, a couple of us ID'd girls via their initials and/or last 4 digits of phone number, so - if you were already legitimately in contact with them - you could exchange info with lower risk from lurkers or crazies.

Anyway, as for real sugar babies, I’d written about some a few years back in the other thread, although I think the way I discussed them is now considered off-topic. The long-term ones have either been “sugar-free”, where they are just looking for an older, successful, no-headache, mentor type (which is what I look for); and a few that have modest ongoing asks, sometimes not cash-specific.

In the 1st group, things are often semi-regular at first, but then someone gets feelings… or a BF… or moves… or gets a busier job/schedule… etc. But a few boomerang back. For example, my 19yo-stuck-on-campus girl (who’s now almost 24) and I see each other a few times a year in spurts, when she’s between BF’s or has a lighter course load (she’s in grad school now). Same with the Dancer that I wrote about as well. In both cases, I pick up the tab for whatever we’re doing – dinner, drinks, show, etc. – and then head to their place. I think I’ve noted before that this kind of sugar-free isn’t always cheaper, since a nice night out can run $300+ even if you don’t get a hotel, but I'll get free booty calls too, so I play the averages.

In the 2nd group, I’ll sometimes do a monthly, but it’s pretty rare. The cognitive dissonance and pride is strong among the types of girls I go for… though, on a side note, it’s ironic how many 10th-wave-intersectionalist-pussy-hat-whatever feminist-types seem more than ok hounding money from the patriarchy... like their pussy is Robin Hood or something. Anyway, I’m more likely to help a girl get to a specific goal or tide her over, than just “pay” like a part-time job. Jewelry Designer, one of my 1st SA girls, was trying to grow her business beyond the couple of stores that carried her, but that was costing her. She was very uncomfortable asking for anything and I just got in the habit of taking her cable or cell bill from the kitchen table on my way out; so it was maybe $200-400/month depending on particulars. I gave Art Director about $1k/month, which was her rent shortfall between jobs. And, like girls in the 1st group, I’d pay for dinner, drinks, etc.

A big challenge in these longer-term relationships is maintaining anonymity. That’s easy for only a date or 2, but not for months or years. The girls know the broad strokes of what I do and my background, but I’ve always put my privacy first, which has ultimately put off a lot of girls after a few meetups. And it’s also a massive pain in the ass when you have to create Uber, seamless, opentable, stubhub, booking.com, etc. accounts for the “other you”.

At this point, I’m pretty sure that guy has his own credit report and someone is trying to get him to register to vote…

 

[Secret Depth]

Anyway, as for real sugar babies, I’d written about some a few years back in the other thread, although I think the way I discussed them is now considered off-topic. The long-term ones have either been “sugar-free”, where they are just looking for an older, successful, no-headache, mentor type (which is what I look for); and a few that have modest ongoing asks, sometimes not cash-specific.

Long time no hear. Missed your contributions. I hope long time contributors have more leeway. Often the stories of what was done and how it was approached can be valuable. I learned a lot from this board on how to handle sugar relationships when I was out of the game for many years.

The cognitive dissonance and pride is strong among the types of girls I go for… though, on a side note, it’s ironic how many 10th-wave-intersectionalist-pussy-hat-whatever feminist-types seem more than ok hounding money from the patriarchy... like their pussy is Robin Hood or something.

Miss this type of banter. Would love to see you more active again!!

 

[bakkslash]

Long time no hear. Missed your contributions. I hope long time contributors have more leeway. Often the stories of what was done and how it was approached can be valuable. I learned a lot from this board on how to handle sugar relationships when I was out of the game for many years...Miss this type of banter. Would love to see you more active again!!

Much appreciated! Because of work, I've been in Europe much of the past few years (back for the holidays... and, well, will hopefully see a couple former SA flames lol), so I'm an interloper given the LI/NY focus of the thread. That said, with the obvious caveats because of language, culture, etc., Europe has been rewarding vis-a-vis SA.

 

[h50]

A big challenge in these longer-term relationships is maintaining anonymity. That’s easy for only a date or 2, but not for months or years. The girls know the broad strokes of what I do and my background, but I’ve always put my privacy first, which has ultimately put off a lot of girls after a few meetups. And it’s also a massive pain in the ass when you have to create Uber, seamless, opentable, stubhub, booking.com, etc. accounts for the “other you”.

Yes there is a line in the sand that appears in multiple ways and you have to make the decision. Many of these woman want to know your life history before you even meet them so it makes for some cat and mousing obviously some innate woman thing. With my LT SB a number of things happened accidentally and then some of it made no sense to keep anonymous. On the other hand with her we were both pretty open with each other from the get go. Right now it's probably true that we both know so much about each other that even family and LT BFFs don't know about us. (And on a side note where friends and family even know what the both of you are doing -- in our case some do for each of us).

I think many of these same things can be true of a gf too though. In many cases you need to consider what the costs are if somebody can wreak havoc on you and vice versa. I like to think I'm street smart so this needs to be done carefully if things matter to you. I'm lucky that much of it doesn't although I trust her and for her she has to put her full trust in me.