On the subject of condiments...
- Thread starter Thorn
- Start date
That would be cool.
Tell you what -- I'll TELL her that you post here. That way it'll all be YOUR fault.
Tell you what -- I'll TELL her that you post here. That way it'll all be YOUR fault.
2. On the other hand, I think that I'd be right to be a little pissed off at you since there is an implied sense of mutual confidentiality.
3. God that would suck.
Thorn makes very good arguments that make me rethink my position, but I am ultimately a believer in the personal responsibility school of thought, although mutual responsibility is very applicable in many of the examples provided. I have been exposed to many of these situations either first or second hand over the years, and I wish I had access to these threads years ago to allow me to have a more tempered response or give more broad based advice.
its funny to me, the way some people think 'responsibility' is a dirty word here!
how about from the other side - for those of us who have had an SO step out of a relationship agreement, who was responsible for our pain?
my answer? well, it sure as heck wasn't the credit card company who sent me the evidence of my husband's affair. it was his actions that caused me pain - and i, too, had a part to play in how the story unfolded.
how about from the other side - for those of us who have had an SO step out of a relationship agreement, who was responsible for our pain?
my answer? well, it sure as heck wasn't the credit card company who sent me the evidence of my husband's affair. it was his actions that caused me pain - and i, too, had a part to play in how the story unfolded.
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its funny to me, the way some people think 'responsibility' is a dirty word here!
how about from the other side - for those of us who have had an SO step out of a relationship agreement, who was responsible for our pain?
my answer? well, it sure as heck wasn't the credit card company who sent me the evidence of my husband's affair. it was his actions that caused me pain - and i, too, had a part to play in how the story unfolded.
how about from the other side - for those of us who have had an SO step out of a relationship agreement, who was responsible for our pain?
my answer? well, it sure as heck wasn't the credit card company who sent me the evidence of my husband's affair. it was his actions that caused me pain - and i, too, had a part to play in how the story unfolded.
In my eyes it was certainly your husband's fault, but not because he was cheating on you, but because he stupidly used his credit card for that transaction or for not making sure enough that you would not see the evidence. He failed to keep his affair away from your world and this is unpardonable.
its funny to me, the way some people think 'responsibility' is a dirty word here!
how about from the other side - for those of us who have had an SO step out of a relationship agreement, who was responsible for our pain?
my answer? well, it sure as heck wasn't the credit card company who sent me the evidence of my husband's affair. it was his actions that caused me pain - and i, too, had a part to play in how the story unfolded.
how about from the other side - for those of us who have had an SO step out of a relationship agreement, who was responsible for our pain?
my answer? well, it sure as heck wasn't the credit card company who sent me the evidence of my husband's affair. it was his actions that caused me pain - and i, too, had a part to play in how the story unfolded.
P.S. I don't really consider us assholes, just selfish jerks with varying degrees of justification and rationalization.
In my eyes it was certainly your husband's fault, but not because he was cheating on you, but because he stupidly used his credit card for that transaction or for not making sure enough that you would not see the evidence. He failed to keep his affair away from your world and this is unpardonable.
is no one else here going to answer my question? maybe nobody wants to talk about being on the receiving end of this stuff.
From their posts, I have some difficulty imagining them punching each other, but I can see how someone would prefer a punch rather than become a target of their wittiness.
And maybe I am just being a pussy to avoid being a target of either of their wittiness.
We are mostly (I believe) assholes cheating on our wives or SOs. The last thing we want anyone throwing in our face is "personal responsibility"!
He failed to keep his affair away from your world and this is unpardonable.
all of what he did was absolutely pardonable, and i have long since pardoned him. although we have not seen each other for many years, i still love him and wish the best for him. being a flawed human myself, full of desires and needs and fears and compulsions, it would be ridiculous for me to find the same characteristics unforgivable in someone i that loved to begin with.
see, here's the thing. i'm telling you that i was hurt by my husband's actions - not the credit card, and not the failure to conceal evidence. and since i'm the one who felt hurt, i think it is a little silly for anyone to come behind me to tell me i am wrong about what i felt hurt by!
is no one else here going to answer my question? maybe nobody wants to talk about being on the receiving end of this stuff.
is no one else here going to answer my question? maybe nobody wants to talk about being on the receiving end of this stuff.
i have to say this about that:
all of what he did was absolutely pardonable, and i have long since pardoned him. although we have not seen each other for many years, i still love him and wish the best for him. being a flawed human myself, full of desires and needs and fears and compulsions, it would be ridiculous for me to find the same characteristics unforgivable in someone i that loved to begin with.
all of what he did was absolutely pardonable, and i have long since pardoned him. although we have not seen each other for many years, i still love him and wish the best for him. being a flawed human myself, full of desires and needs and fears and compulsions, it would be ridiculous for me to find the same characteristics unforgivable in someone i that loved to begin with.
I sympathize with your approach. As uneasy as it may be, I believe I would have fully pardoned my SO too if found that she was cheating on me. (Of course, after killing him, her and a few innocent bystanders.)
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