its funny to me, the way some people think 'responsibility' is a dirty word here!
how about from the other side - for those of us who have had an SO step out of a relationship agreement, who was responsible for our pain?
my answer? well, it sure as heck wasn't the credit card company who sent me the evidence of my husband's affair. it was his actions that caused me pain - and i, too, had a part to play in how the story unfolded.