I'm sorry for your loss
@trader1. Losing a child is horrible and unforgiving hurt that never goes away. But I'm on the opposite side of the road, I to lost, but to cancer..
It is a pain so severe that some never recover from the loss — it consumes them and there is no reasoning, professional counseling, etc that helps. It can destroy an otherwise loving marriage as the one partner who can't cope is no longer mentally available in the present — they live only in the past and can not move on with life. My sincere sympathy goes out to you and I hope you have found some peace.
I'm tired of people comparing addiction to cancer. People don't choose cancer, they didn't get cancer from being weak and giving into peer pressure or trying to look cool........
I'm not trying to be flip, but yes some do — they are called smokers. They choose to start by "giving into peer pressure or trying to look cool" and even in view of overwhelming evidence (some of which is written in bold print
right on the pack containing the product), refuse to take steps to stop.
As far as me personally — back in the day when I would occasionally see SW's I would stay away from druggies. The ones I saw (and some I would actually have a relationship spending some time together discussing various things, getting some food together, etc., in addition to the sex part) tended to be in two categories:
1. their skills in the legitimate labor market were so limited that they felt it was stupid to work all day at a soul sucking job to make the same amount of money they could get in an hour on the street from johns doing what they did anyway with their bf's.
2. they had a couple of kids and no means of support other than the meager support supplied by social services that they would lose if they get a legitimate job.
In both cases (1. & 2. )They could never escape from this even when the kids went to school freeing them to work a legitimate job or they wanted to leave the street life as sooner or later they would get a criminal record from SW'ing and become unemployable — although perhaps in todays economy they could probably get a chance at a legitimate job.
@billyS — I've shared some stories with you over the years when we used to backchannel (via a now long defunct whoreboard site), lala and shelia come to mind and my posts on "I'm not a whore and my sister is not a whore" thread that I started illustrate some of this. There was also Donna, who left the life by moving away from the W area, getting a legit job in a retail store.