Reading the signs

Slinky Bender

Slinky Bender

The All Powerful Moderator
#1
#1
About a year ago I met a working girl at a party. towards the end of the party, she started comming on to me (I really didn't know why). Funny thing is 2 separate people warned me about going home with her, but I told them not to worry about it. In teh back of the cab going over the 59th St bridge, i thought the cab driver was going to crash due to the show we were giving him from the back seat.

At some point during the poist coital talk, she sprung on me that what she really likes is for her lover to sneak into her dark bedroom while she lays face down naked and pretends to be asleep, and he fucks her while she continues to pretend to be asleep. Instantly my mind flashed that she had been abused as a child. (I'm sure that subconsciously - for me - her drug and alcohol habits helped push me in this direction).
 
F

fortydog

#3
#3
You know you could be wrong about your assumption that she was abused as a child. I don't believe all fetishes are based on bad childhood experiences.
 
J

JackT

#4
#4
fortydog said:
I don't believe all fetishes are based on bad childhood experiences.
Click to expand...
And what of the reverse, then? Any similar analysis of a man with a very strong fantasy toward pre-arranging a situation with a woman where he sneaks into her bedroom (better yet, her apartment) and proceeds to fuck her in her bed while she pretends to be asleep?

Surely, sometimes victims of sexual abuse seek to reenact the abuse as response to the trauma they endured. But I don't think it always has to be so. Maybe she's just exploring submissive fantasies... loss of control, objectification. Maybe it is a sign of scalating sex addiction. Maybe she is just seeking out more and more sexual intensity through this role play.... Maybe sex to her is somewhat like a drug... that she uses to escape from emotional and psychological pain (not necessarily child abuse, but any type of personal pain).... Maybe this particular fantasy scenario provides her that "stronger hit" she needs to satisfy her, or to escape or numb her feelings, as the case may be.

While slinky's speculation about this particular girl may be right, I think it can be somewhat counterproductive to assume that interest in a particular type of fantasy is necessarily indicative of a particular type of abuse.
 
J

JackT

#6
#6
You didn't disclose that important bit of information in your original post.
I can only speak from personal experience and what I've encountered out there. I wouldn't jump to such a conclusion.
 
B

Barnabus

#7
#7
I had a similar experience

I dated this girl, who would lie in bed and I would come up behind her and fuck her from behind, and she would just lie there, I would lick her ass and she would just lie there,
I would fuck her in the ass and she would just lie there, and never respond
I would splooge (oh how I love that word) all over her back, and she would just lie there.

I don't know if she just liked pretending to be dead, or jewish.

Barnabas
 
Slinky Bender

Slinky Bender

The All Powerful Moderator
#10
#10
For the purposes of this thread, I don't think you need to define it all that rigorously.

Besides, the thread is just as much about what flashed through my mind hearing the story as it is about the girl.
 
O

Ozzy

#11
#11
Aside from the Brazilians who I don't know of a single one that ever admitted or showed the slightest of signs, most of the others I've known on a personal basis admitted or showed strong signs of CSA.
 
O

Ozzy

#12
#12
Actually aside from the Brazilians who except for one or two were all from very close families..... NONE of those others I've known personally had any resemblance to a functional family.
 
J

justlooking

#15
#15
You know, there was this girl I used to see, and she would always find an occassion to sort of lay on her stomach, half-asleep, with her ass exposed.

I'm not Slinky Bender. I never made the connection.
 
Thorn

Thorn

#19
#19
I have to admit, in all the years of bumping uglies, I've never bumped into a woman with a serious rape fantasy... or take me while I am sleeping and not directly involved in what is going on thing.

I certainly am aware of its being out there. Just no first hand experience.

[wouldn't be my thing if I did, and I'd be hard pressed to comply with her desires]
 
Thorn

Thorn

#20
#20
BTW... A side note: That isn't a due to any moral problems with the scenario. Just personal. I have and adverse reaction to a woman I am having sex with, even if it is in play, acting like she didn't want me doing what I am doing that I would totally lose my erection. I'd suffer performance interruptus.

On the other side of the equation, I totally get off on a woman telling me she is open and trusting of everything I might do to her and wants me doing it. I get as hard as a diamond.
 
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