Rao's is overrated. The food is pedestrian at best, the scene is so exclusive and precious that wasting time pining to eat there is ridiculous. I've been there twice and was completely unimpressed. Like a lot of NYC "institutions" (i.e. Elaine's, Nello's, Cirpriani's, Luger's) the reputation has long ago surpassed the quality and its not about the food anymore...
One of NYC's greatest appeals, IMHO, is the constant change and rediscovery - there's no such thing as a permanent "best" since best changes every time someone new decides to take on the city. I prefer pretty much any Batali place to Rao's... frankly, I prefer about 3 dozen great italian places to Rao's.
And the "mythology" of the brooklyn italians is just that - a myth. Mispronouncing "capicola", "gabagool" and calling ragu "gravy" just makes you sound like an uneducated douche with no respect for one of the most beautiful languages in the world, its culture, or its food. It sounds great in the "Sopranos", but don't forget - the italian mob was mostly made up of inbred, uneducated sociopaths - which the "tradition" a lot of brooklyn italians emulate. Those Italians are about as "real" as the titties at Scores.
-RPH