marrying a provider...a question for the gentlemen(and ladies too)
- Thread starter nj george
- Start date
I've said this before...
I'm pretty sure at this time, that the one for me will be, or would have once been a provider.
Only one would understand why it was part of my life for such a long time. She would understand why and how we would have left the industry, or stayed in it.
A woman like that would not be tempted away by sex, and would understand the difference between love and sex, and the similarities.
I think it takes a woman who has seen how unemotional and loveless sex can be, to be able to appreciate how emotional and loving sex can be with the right person.
But then, I may be wrong...
Tank
I'm pretty sure at this time, that the one for me will be, or would have once been a provider.
Only one would understand why it was part of my life for such a long time. She would understand why and how we would have left the industry, or stayed in it.
A woman like that would not be tempted away by sex, and would understand the difference between love and sex, and the similarities.
I think it takes a woman who has seen how unemotional and loveless sex can be, to be able to appreciate how emotional and loving sex can be with the right person.
But then, I may be wrong...
Tank
Sure, no problem with her continuing to work. While I could ask ask her to stop and hope she would, I couldn't tell her to stop or the relationship is over.
She might have a dream that with her income is entirely obtainable. Who do you think would get blamed if she stopped working and never obtained her dream. Just as she would always have the fear of her past employment being thrown in her face in an arguement, I would have that fear of robbing her of her dream.
She might have a dream that with her income is entirely obtainable. Who do you think would get blamed if she stopped working and never obtained her dream. Just as she would always have the fear of her past employment being thrown in her face in an arguement, I would have that fear of robbing her of her dream.
I like to think that I would have no need to "provide" outside of my marriage....but I have never been married and really so not know....
I have always hoped to have the whole nine yards...white picket fense bla bla bla....and be there only for my man ~With love in my eyes~ This is the sub in me, I guess.,...live only for my man. But then lets get a grip.,...I most likely will still crave the variety. Maybe I will find one man who can satisfy all of my needs and be MR Right (for me)...if I suddenly "retire" you will know why. LOL. Mr Right for me would also not want me to work ANYWHERE....because I am happy owning my own time. And he would want me to be happy....wouldnt he?
I can get a another job, I am educated and can do other things.... so if I was IN LOVE maybe I would....
This is hard to answer....LOL. Can I come back and delete this later....ya know if I change my mind?...LOL.
BUT...if I retire from this hobby....he has to as well. LOL. We can just become swingers BAY BE!!!
xxxooofanny
I have always hoped to have the whole nine yards...white picket fense bla bla bla....and be there only for my man ~With love in my eyes~ This is the sub in me, I guess.,...live only for my man. But then lets get a grip.,...I most likely will still crave the variety. Maybe I will find one man who can satisfy all of my needs and be MR Right (for me)...if I suddenly "retire" you will know why. LOL. Mr Right for me would also not want me to work ANYWHERE....because I am happy owning my own time. And he would want me to be happy....wouldnt he?
I can get a another job, I am educated and can do other things.... so if I was IN LOVE maybe I would....
This is hard to answer....LOL. Can I come back and delete this later....ya know if I change my mind?...LOL.
BUT...if I retire from this hobby....he has to as well. LOL. We can just become swingers BAY BE!!!
xxxooofanny
I totally agree with Tank on this one.
We see from the worst to the best. Some guys are secure enough to not even mind what she does for a living.But those are very few. I have tried the monogomy thing twice and ended up with a nervous breakdown. Thanks, but no thanks. I can't help it if my eyes wander if I see a nice ass and tits. Too many men like the idea but can't deal with it.
Then there's the feeling of being loved only for the money you make(usually a lot more than he does), or having your job thrown in your face in an argument. If things end up in divorce, and there are kids, its an easy way to get back at the woman and get custody of the children.
So it's not an easy thing to deal with.
We see from the worst to the best. Some guys are secure enough to not even mind what she does for a living.But those are very few. I have tried the monogomy thing twice and ended up with a nervous breakdown. Thanks, but no thanks. I can't help it if my eyes wander if I see a nice ass and tits. Too many men like the idea but can't deal with it.
Then there's the feeling of being loved only for the money you make(usually a lot more than he does), or having your job thrown in your face in an argument. If things end up in divorce, and there are kids, its an easy way to get back at the woman and get custody of the children.
So it's not an easy thing to deal with.
Last month, I met with Angel & Dana (http://www.angelgirl.net/) in Vegas. Apparently, they're in a full time relationship with one guy, who happens to be married to Angel. They're all into swinging, and the two women provide on the side to help pay the bills.
Well, hubby is very aware of exactly what's going on. When they showed up for our appointment, he was their driver. It's a very open marriage.
Once I got past the weirdness of having the provider's husband show up at my hotel room, it was a hell of a session.
Well, hubby is very aware of exactly what's going on. When they showed up for our appointment, he was their driver. It's a very open marriage.
Once I got past the weirdness of having the provider's husband show up at my hotel room, it was a hell of a session.
I think it would take two very special people to make it work.
For someone to fall in love with a provider would probably mean that she really does an incredible job, and I am not talking just about the sex. She would have to be someone who opened up to her clients and really put part of herself into every encounter. Of course, this assumes that the two people met as client/rpovider, not outside the biz.
Most men, myself probably included, would not be able to handle this. It is one thing knowing that your wife is having sex with other men. That people could probably handle, but when she gives of herself in that fashion to almost every client, that I think would be the thing that guys could not handle.
Now, if she was to leave the biz, as other say, would she be happy? I know if my wife told me I could not pursue my chosen career I would not be happy. And, in this case, would she be sexually satisfied by one man now?
On the other hand, I agree with Tank that a lady who was/is a provider has a very healthy understanding of the differences and similarities between sex and love. It would not surprise me if women who have been in the biz turn out to be some of the most living and passionate wifes out there because of this.
Very complicated. All this thinking is making my head hurt
For someone to fall in love with a provider would probably mean that she really does an incredible job, and I am not talking just about the sex. She would have to be someone who opened up to her clients and really put part of herself into every encounter. Of course, this assumes that the two people met as client/rpovider, not outside the biz.
Most men, myself probably included, would not be able to handle this. It is one thing knowing that your wife is having sex with other men. That people could probably handle, but when she gives of herself in that fashion to almost every client, that I think would be the thing that guys could not handle.
Now, if she was to leave the biz, as other say, would she be happy? I know if my wife told me I could not pursue my chosen career I would not be happy. And, in this case, would she be sexually satisfied by one man now?
On the other hand, I agree with Tank that a lady who was/is a provider has a very healthy understanding of the differences and similarities between sex and love. It would not surprise me if women who have been in the biz turn out to be some of the most living and passionate wifes out there because of this.
Very complicated. All this thinking is making my head hurt
Well, I consider myself open. Relating back to the original thread, hell I was in love..head over hells with Mia. But, if the relationship would have continued(I don't think she would have stopped) I would not have been able to handle that. So, maybe things happened for a reason. Now in the 8 or so years since I have been married and divorced. If the relationship was now I would be able to handle that. Over the time I have seen others and discovered what makes me happy. So yeah, if it was love and the love was mutally accepted. I would certainly try. Living together yeah, marriage hell no. I have learned from the ex that marriage ain't for me.
Peace
Wimpy
Peace
Wimpy
I have a happy ending of this sort....There was a girl that worked for us on 32nd street. She had been caught in a bust somewhere in the East 50's. The lawyer that defended her, wound up being her husband two years later. And is now the father of thier two children. Happy ever after......
Anything is possible. All it takes is two open minded people to look past where they met...or two forgetful people....lol
Hmm...there are a few others. But I'm sure you get the idea.
Happy summer day !
Destiny
Anything is possible. All it takes is two open minded people to look past where they met...or two forgetful people....lol
Hmm...there are a few others. But I'm sure you get the idea.
Happy summer day !
Destiny
I think that it depends upon the 2 people involved, and where they're at in their lives.
The former provider that I was involved with used to date clients that she took a liking to. Once she became soured on the profession, though, she stopped.
She had also told her previous boyfriend about her old profession. He didn't take it well, and advised her not to tell future lovers. It didn't bother me at all, though.
Then again, it was her former profession. To be honest, I'm not sure about how I would have felt if she'd still been doing it.
The former provider that I was involved with used to date clients that she took a liking to. Once she became soured on the profession, though, she stopped.
She had also told her previous boyfriend about her old profession. He didn't take it well, and advised her not to tell future lovers. It didn't bother me at all, though.
Then again, it was her former profession. To be honest, I'm not sure about how I would have felt if she'd still been doing it.
I had a really good "working girl" friend. She met a guy in a house we were working in. They really fell in love and they were so happy and it was great. She moved into his place with her son and stopped working. The guy was great to both her and her son. She got her Tiffany ring and started to plan a wedding. Then one day the guy went "golfing" she got suspicious and pressed re-dail. Well what she got was a working girls voice mail. When he got home she confronted him. So to make a long story shory he called her a whore she called him a trick and her son ended up being the most hurt when they moved out. In my opinion it CAN'T work.
Another little tid-bit I have another friend who has been living in a condo about a mile from her boyfriend and his wife's house and she has been very happy for about two years. They love that twisted arrangement and it works for them. So to each his own right?
Another little tid-bit I have another friend who has been living in a condo about a mile from her boyfriend and his wife's house and she has been very happy for about two years. They love that twisted arrangement and it works for them. So to each his own right?
It also depends upon the reason for doing what we do...
I do it because I'm single and lonely. I didn't do it when I was in a committed relationship where there was adequate sex involved. In my last relationship, my significant other was on Prozac and was non-sexual. Thus, my justification was that I would limit my sexual demands by obtaining release elsewhere. I still catered to her needs hand and foot.
Yes, a relationship with a provider or former provider is still susceptable to the pitfalls of other relationships, but in my opinion, we are in our own planet here, and those on the same planet have a better chance than two people from other worlds.
One last thing...
you have any "working girl" friends who would take a chance on an ugly guy like me?
Tank
I do it because I'm single and lonely. I didn't do it when I was in a committed relationship where there was adequate sex involved. In my last relationship, my significant other was on Prozac and was non-sexual. Thus, my justification was that I would limit my sexual demands by obtaining release elsewhere. I still catered to her needs hand and foot.
Yes, a relationship with a provider or former provider is still susceptable to the pitfalls of other relationships, but in my opinion, we are in our own planet here, and those on the same planet have a better chance than two people from other worlds.
One last thing...
you have any "working girl" friends who would take a chance on an ugly guy like me?
Tank
your far from ugly and I dig what your saying about being from the same planet, but I think for most people it will be the first thing to come up in a fight. and I am a crazy irish chick who loves a little fight with my man ever now and then cause the making up is sooo sweet (fight=verbal not physical)
peace and love to all jenn
peace and love to all jenn