Imposter in our midst

[fairemily]

Photo, I read your posts, it's a gift to be able to communicate in an authentic and organic way and there are people out there who are envious of that ability. They cannot express themselves without offending and alienating people but they still crave the social acceptance so their only option is to become a troublemaking troll. If you are in the radar of these undesirables you are doing something right, they don't prey on their own kind. I defend the lurkers because I know so many are good people that are content sitting on the sidelines but are not part of the troll crew. It's not easy to be an active member, like I wrote this could be a rough audience.

 

[gotenough1]

I completely disagree, I think all members should tell providers they see about the board. They might want to advertise or do a banner link and foward the information to people new to the PMB's and hopefully ad new contributors

While i understand your point, I have to respectfully disagree.
I've read your posts and you seem to be intelligent and well spoken. I would also assume you're a sane individual who enjoys her craft and understands the good and the bad about your craft.
Unfortunately the majority of women who are in the business do not see it the same way you do. They're not all sane and normal.
So if you tell them about this site, they will probably be able to figure out from the posts who's who amongst their clients. I'm not so sure that some of these women will take kindly to a negative review and will attempt to exact some type of revenge on that monger
I can live without the drama.
As it is now...I saw someone today for the 1st time. The review will be negative..if someone decides to mention the site to her or already has mentioned the site to her, it wouldn't be tough to figure out who it was with today's weather.
Since she's been turned onto the site, should I have to fear some type of retribution from this potentially unstable person for writing a well deserved negative review?
If more and more providers know about this site and start reacting to it, you're going to see less and less bad reviews. That's not what this site is about.

 

[skeeter82]

my perspective

nycliguy --
If no one ever tells a provider about this site no matter how cool sweet lovely special the provider is , then part of this problem would be null.
photofinish61--
I couldn't agree more. I know this comes up on various threads from time to time, but if everyone would just keep the existence of UG as a secret among guys who share a common (not quite legit) hobby, it would work so much better. From the point of view of the UG membership in general, there is really no good reason to show a provider this site if she is not already aware of it, and many reasons why it is a horrible idea. Just my $.02.
----------------------------
OK, first off...what? a few inches of white fluffy stuff and you guys stay home all day to post on UG? Look how much activity there is on this one thread by 6PM!
Let me throw in my two cents in replying to the above and some of the other comments.
I have been chastised in the past by my ATF when I even made a suggestion of who she was and where she worked (in the hope of increasing her business) on UG so I did not have the issue of do I tell her or do I not of specific sites like UG - she already knew. I will say to the above posts that as helpful as this site can be at times.....you guys are faceless folks on the other end of the internet. My ATF is a sensitive sweet woman that I have seen face to face for several years. Now who do you think takes priority in discussing UG topics???? This is not a lurker issue. The guys who develop some sort of relationship ( and we now know how much discussion "some sort of relationship" can generate) feel a certain closeness and will act to enlighten and/or protect her by discussing UG with her.
PS
thanks to fairemily for her input.

 

[skeeter82]

as a PS to my previous post -
with all the BS from the lowlife known as Kathleen Rice who advertises that she is a champion of women and disrupt-er of "trafficking"..........who pays the price in 99% of the busts?
The women that we see.
Small wonder that they are sensitive to having intimate details of their workday published online.
Try appreciating things from that point of view.

 

[Photofinish61]

as a PS to my previous post -
with all the BS from the lowlife known as Kathleen Rice who advertises that she is a champion of women and disrupt-er of "trafficking"..........who pays the price in 99% of the busts?
The women that we see.
Small wonder that they are sensitive to having intimate details of their workday published online.
Try appreciating things from that point of view.

Excellent point, Skeeter, and something I myself have become more aware of recently, which is a big reason why I have scaled back my postings here. Not seeing anybody except my ATF anymore and therefore (happily) not having anyone to review is the other reason. LOL.

 

[fairemily]

I completely disagree, I think all members should tell providers they see about the board. They might want to advertise or do a banner link and foward the information to people new to the PMB's and hopefully ad new contributors

While i understand your point, I have to respectfully disagree.
I've read your posts and you seem to be intelligent and well spoken. I would also assume you're a sane individual who enjoys her craft and understands the good and the bad about your craft.
Unfortunately the majority of women who are in the business do not see it the same way you do. They're not all sane and normal.
So if you tell them about this site, they will probably be able to figure out from the posts who's who amongst their clients. I'm not so sure that some of these women will take kindly to a negative review and will attempt to exact some type of revenge on that monger
I can live without the drama.
As it is now...I saw someone today for the 1st time. The review will be negative..if someone decides to mention the site to her or already has mentioned the site to her, it wouldn't be tough to figure out who it was with today's weather.
Since she's been turned onto the site, should I have to fear some type of retribution from this potentially unstable person for writing a well deserved negative review?
If more and more providers know about this site and start reacting to it, you're going to see less and less bad reviews. That's not what this site is about.

Thank ypu for your complementary view of me. I can't imagine creating conflict over something as trivial as a unflattering review especially when there are far more serious things to be concerned about. Reviews will be written whether a provider wants them or not and the sooner she accepts that as the reality of this buisness the easier how working existence will be. What type of retribution do you think would happen because of a unflattering review? I've defended myself on the board from reviews I knew to be false because It was beyond reasonable doubt the encounter never happened but if it did happen and the person didn't like me for whatever reason it's not the end of the world, you can't please everyone, that's just a basic rule of life. All providers should conduct their buisness with the assumption they are going to be reviewed. I've always understood that diversity of both sides was welcome here, there will always be a fear of encountering unstable or irrational people, we can't let them define how we want to be as a community.

 

[gotenough1]

Thank ypu for your complementary view of me. I can't imagine creating conflict over something as trivial as a unflattering review especially when there are far more serious things to be concerned about. Reviews will be written whether a provider wants them or not and the sooner she accepts that as the reality of this buisness the easier how working existence will be. What type of retribution do you think would happen because of a unflattering review? I've defended myself on the board from reviews I knew to be false because It was beyond reasonable doubt the encounter never happened but if it did happen and the person didn't like me for whatever reason it's not the end of the world, you can't please everyone, that's just a basic rule of life. All providers should conduct their buisness with the assumption they are going to be reviewed. I've always understood that diversity of both sides was welcome here, there will always be a fear of encountering unstable or irrational people, we can't let them define how we want to be as a community.

You're welcome, but you're looking and thinking like a sane person. I wish they all were sane (I'm sure you wish we were all sane as well) but the reality is that a lot of women are doing this to support a habit of some type. A negative review can affect business. She has my tel# and she could easily have looked outside and gotten my plate # as well. There are things she can do to make my life unpleasant.
I've never mentioned the website to a provider and never will. Even if she knows about it, I can try and play dumb by saying i never heard of it. But if I tell her about it, I'm only asking for trouble if it turns out to be a bad experience.

 

[nycliguy]

And why would anyone tell any provider thier handle on this site. I know some guys become smitten but let's be smart guys !!!

 

[nycliguy]

The reason I no longer post reviews here is cause in the past someone told a provider about a post on here which I had written and included some specific information of my expirence with her I had to lie to her and tell her I knew nothing about UG and didn't appreciate her a cussing me of writing about our encounter. I guess I'm a lurker now, to get feedback on a provider I want to see then if it's all good I go and see them and keep my mouth shut . There is no reason to talk about UG and if a provider asks you about UG just play Micky the dope it's not to difficult anyway thanks for all the posters here especially you senior guys here. Remeber they just hoes , treat them well but don't loose perspective to who and what they are Peace

 

[fairemily]

You're welcome, but you're looking and thinking like a sane person. I wish they all were sane (I'm sure you wish we were all sane as well) but the reality is that a lot of women are doing this to support a habit of some type. A negative review can affect business. She has my tel# and she could easily have looked outside and gotten my plate # as well. There are things she can do to make my life unpleasant.
I've never mentioned the website to a provider and never will. Even if she knows about it, I can try and play dumb by saying i never heard of it. But if I tell her about it, I'm only asking for trouble if it turns out to be a bad experience.

I'm not oblivious to the insanity and malicious behavior that can occur in this world of ours, I have had my fair share of unprovoked lunacy. Some of it is rooted in substance abuse but there are naturally unstable people. I think this thread touched a nerve in all of us because of the invasion of privacy and lack of respect that Photo experienced, it's violating even with the anaomity. As far as making someone's like miserable over something trivial isn't there a concern of mutual risk. I have to admit I'm not familiar with the LI scene, it's a vast space compared to Manhattan. City spaces are hard to come by and too expensive to risk a feud over something so petty. I don't believe one bad review will not make an impact, no provider has a flawless record, there's always going to be someone you don't mesh with. Guys should also look at the reviewers record, is the tone always negative, are his standards unreasonable, does he seem like a creep in the way he writes. Doing research for providers should also include the source of the information to get a full perspective. This review system is such a gift which is often forgotten, imagine what it was like back in the day when the only option was to pick an ad in one of a few paper publication and hope for the best but I guess the downside to this new transparency is all the things we are discussing. You can't have it all as hard as you try.