honesty

[Left_the_scene]

OK. As guys, we all know about the expected white lies (ie: is my ass fat? No, not at all hon... etc.)

Frankly, I hate this. But what I hate more is that when *I* ask questions of a woman, I really actually DO want an honest answer.

I am fuckin' sick of being told I am the best lover, the nicest guy, have the best DATY skillz they have ever experienced, and am hung like a porn star. etc. Bullshit. As I see it, I'm a grumpy asshole with a slightly larger than avg dick that puts an annoying emphasis on making sure my partner cums. Real truth is likely in between the two.

In one case, even years into a relationship I didn't get honest answers. I hate that.

I actually have better luck with providers in that area. I tell 'em up front I hate flattery, and oftentimes that's that. Not always, but often enough.

Anyone else feel that way?

 

[puffin]

Ha, the only honesty you can expect from a provider is the admission that she will provide the services requested, and that she will leave when her time is up. You have no business asking her to admit, or expecting to know what she truly thinks.

In fact she'd be a fool to run the risk of offending anyone, lest she meet up with an unhinged client or simply lose out on a good tip. If you want a therapist, then that's another speciality entirely.

 

[marcinny]

puffin,

I think he is not asking about providers that's why he started the thread in the np4p section. (I may also be wrong of course).

 

[Left_the_scene]

puffin,

I think he is not asking about providers that's why he started the thread in the np4p section. (I may also be wrong of course).

Yes. I actually have had better honesty from providers. Sad.

 

[excursion]

C'mon guys, how many of you really beleive a provider when she says that you gave her an O

 

[stevefor2005]

C'mon guys, how many of you really believe a provider when she says that you gave her an O

I tend to be more likely to believe than not since, in most situations I'm in, she has no real reason to lie about it. I'm pretty matter of fact with providers, they know I'm there for me, not them. That being said, I'm more than happy to show her a good time in return for her showing me a good time.

Not so different from np4p, except that showing her a good time is part of the agenda for np4p, and isn't necessarily with p4p.

I actually had a (p4p) lady recently inform me that she hadn't had an O recently, that she always had her O's vaginally (not so usual, in my experience), and she would appreciate it if I'd kindly provide her with one before I 'got mine'. Needless to say, I was happy to oblige!

 

[MakeUSqueal]

I tend to be more likely to believe than not since, in most situations I'm in, she has no real reason to lie about it. I'm pretty matter of fact with providers, they know I'm there for me, not them. That being said, I'm more than happy to show her a good time in return for her showing me a good time.

Not so different from np4p, except that showing her a good time is part of the agenda for np4p, and isn't necessarily with p4p.

I actually had a (p4p) lady recently inform me that she hadn't had an O recently, that she always had her O's vaginally (not so usual, in my experience), and she would appreciate it if I'd kindly provide her with one before I 'got mine'. Needless to say, I was happy to oblige!

So, did she pay YOU??

 

[Bandaid]

Yes. I actually have had better honesty from providers. Sad.

What bothers you about "flattery," if that's what it is? I would want to believe it but I wouldn't like it that I couldn't believe it was true. I'd want to believe it's true. I don't get many compliments.

 

[stevefor2005]

So, did she pay YOU??

Let's just say she knew how to repay a favor....

 

[Ruv Me Rong Time!!]

I tend to be more likely to believe than not since, in most situations I'm in, she has no real reason to lie about it.

The perceived reason to lie is that acting like they are cumming would make the client cum sooner. They are bouncing around like crazed lunatics completely unable to stop, (year right), so when you try to put the breaks on becuase you dont want to pop yet its impossible. A technique often used while in CG.

 

[Left_the_scene]

What bothers you about "flattery," if that's what it is?

I am predisposed against dishonesty in any way shape or form for any reason. Period. White lies and flattery in particular, since I find the irony of dishonesty with "good intentions" to be particularly offensive.

I know that's rather abnormal, but that's just how I am. Hardwired that way.

 

[Left_the_scene]

The perceived reason to lie is that acting like they are cumming would make the client cum sooner. They are bouncing around like crazed lunatics completely unable to stop, (year right), so when you try to put the breaks on becuase you dont want to pop yet its impossible. A technique often used while in CG.

Fine and well, but the original question of the thread was about SO's, girlfriends, etc, telling white lies and giving flattery. I can accept a provider doing it, as I can understand and accept (tho maybe not agree) with the motivation.

What I can't get my head around is why someone would do that sort of thing to someone they supposedly care for?

 

[Ruv Me Rong Time!!]

i dont know about the white lies. if you said to somebody before you left to go clubing.... "how do i look?" and they said "ugly and ther'es nothing your clothes can do about it"

on the other hand... whats the point of asking the question if you dont want the honest answer. well... actually... maybe we dont want the honest answer... maybe we need to have our egos juiced here and there so that we can go out and face the cruel world.

what would you do about the easter bunny, the great pumkin, the tooth fairy, abominable snow man, or santa clause?

the white lie thing is probably necessary to hold our society together.

 

[Left_the_scene]

i dont know about the white lies. if you said to somebody before you left to go clubing.... "how do i look?" and they said "ugly and ther'es nothing your clothes can do about it"

I understand that cerebrally, and can go along with it, but it really twists my gut if the true answer is "ugly". My better friends know and accept that I WILL tell them an honest answer as I see it.

on the other hand... whats the point of asking the question if you dont want the honest answer. well... actually... maybe we dont want the honest answer... maybe we need to have our egos juiced here and there so that we can go out and face the cruel world.

I guess what I don't get, is if the answer is suspect, how does it juice ones ego? seems to me it would just create even MORE self doubt.

what would you do about the easter bunny, the great pumkin, the tooth fairy, abominable snow man, or santa clause?

My kids knew as soon as they were old enough to talk that the Easter Bunny, Boogie Man, Santa, the anthropomorphic conception of God, etc. were all pretend.

 

[Jerk Hammer]

My kids knew as soon as they were old enough to talk that the Easter Bunny, Boogie Man, Santa, the anthropomorphic conception of God, etc. were all pretend.

How sad. And do your kids know that you've "cheated" on their mother?

 

[Scott68]

Mr Hammer,

How sad. And do your kids know that you've "cheated" on their mother?

You're such a nice guy.

 

[Left_the_scene]

How sad. And do your kids know that you've "cheated" on their mother?

I have not done so. As I have stated in other threads, their mother was a provider, yet I was monogamous while with her.

So no, since telling them I cheated on their mother would be a lie.. and a particularly fucked up lie to tell them at that...

 

[SirF]

OK. As guys, we all know about the expected white lies (ie: is my ass fat? No, not at all hon... etc.)

Frankly, I hate this. But what I hate more is that when *I* ask questions of a woman, I really actually DO want an honest answer.

I am fuckin' sick of being told I am the best lover, the nicest guy, have the best DATY skillz they have ever experienced, and am hung like a porn star. etc. Bullshit. As I see it, I'm a grumpy asshole with a slightly larger than avg dick that puts an annoying emphasis on making sure my partner cums. Real truth is likely in between the two.

In one case, even years into a relationship I didn't get honest answers. I hate that.

I actually have better luck with providers in that area. I tell 'em up front I hate flattery, and oftentimes that's that. Not always, but often enough.

Anyone else feel that way?

why would one give a crap? I have stopped caring if it was good for them. I spend more time looking for a lost golf ball than looking for the elusive g-spot.

 

[Left_the_scene]

why would one give a crap? I have stopped caring if it was good for them. I spend more time looking for a lost golf ball than looking for the elusive g-spot.

Not just about sex, honesty in general. From how do I look to did you enjoy dinner to do you mind if I go out with the guys tonight. Etc. The whole point of a non-pay for play LT relationship is, for some people anyway, going to supposedly including giving a fuck what the other persons opinion is. Or so i'm told anyway...

Fuck it. Yeah. Hobbying is so much simpler. I guess I have my answer. Had it all along in fact.

 

[Ruv Me Rong Time!!]

I guess what I don't get, is if the answer is suspect, how does it juice ones ego? seems to me it would just create even MORE self doubt.

I think we are "in on it" We deceive ourselves to protect our ego's