I'd argue that dominance is the gift. It takes a lot of energy, work, discipline for a dom to control a complex sub. I also fully agree w/ Thorn that "trust issues" exist on both sides, hence why long-term D/s relationships are so rare. To some extent, I also believe those that are 'wired' this way are so due to good and bad life experiences. Most doms have had obstacles to overcome in life that make them self-disciplined, focused, to some degree, control freaks/perfectionists, yet those are the traits a wayward or untamed sub. needs. Just my take. Many different facets/personalities within this realm.