Avoiding Dinner Whores

[Gavvy Cravath]

paying for dinner =/= sex

just because a woman wanted to have sex with you before dinner ...doesn't mean she wants to after spending time with you. Also a woman doesn't owe a man sex just because he bought her dinner. Bollocks I say!

Listen, we've all had our experiences where dates go wrong. But, the original point, I think, is that there are women who will go out, get treated nicely, have a great time with you absolutely knowing that they are not going to give you a chance to "win them over" (notice I did not write "sleep with you").

Gavy

 

[seeker6591]

its no invention

they are out there whether you want to admit it or not

and it has NOTHING to do with the male libido

nothing wrong with this post!

adios amigos


seeker 6591 AKA rock and roll legend

 

[Gavvy Cravath]

njaila...this is the last time I will explain this...

a dinner whore is a woman who goes out on a dinner date despite the fact that she knows she has no interest in the guy.

you can keep twisting this around and turning this and spin it any way you want...


but it has nothing to do with what we are discussing here...

and what you are alluding to above was never a suggested by any other poster here.

She says she's 19. Let's hope it's just her youth that's blocking her from seeing what we are discussing. The war with Billy and N.Rhee is another matter all together...

Gavy

 

[Gavvy Cravath]

nothing wrong with this post!

adios amigos


seeker 6591 AKA rock and roll legend

Right, seeker???? LOL!

 

[NjailaRhee]

njaila...this is the last time I will explain this...

a dinner whore is a woman who goes out on a dinner date despite the fact that she knows she has no interest in the guy.

you can keep twisting this around and turning this and spin it any way you want...


but it has nothing to do with what we are discussing here...

and what you are alluding to above was never a suggested by any other poster here.

but what you are saying takes away a woman's right to change her mind and give a guy a chance even if she's thinking the guy sucks.

 

[NjailaRhee]

Listen, we've all had our experiences where dates go wrong. But, the original point, I think, is that there are women who will go out, get treated nicely, have a great time with you absolutely knowing that they are not going to give you a chance to "win them over" (notice I did not write "sleep with you").

Gavy

I can see why you might be mifted at that ...but I don't think it's up to whore status. If the woman is kind to you and you are kind to her ...even if nothing comes of it didn't everyone have a good time?

 

[Gavvy Cravath]

I can see why you might be mifted at that ...but I don't think it's up to whore status. If the woman is kind to you and you are kind to her ...even if nothing comes of it didn't everyone have a good time?

When you realize that there was absolutely no interest in you and they just went out with you for a good time, then I feel like a loser and a used one at that.

Gavy

 

[DaveNJ]

1 : to make productive use of : utilize

how is that a bad thing? where is the negative emotion in that. None.

you could have read that for yourself.

It's not a bad thing necessarily, but I just wanted you to clarify which definition you were using. This whole thread has spun out of control because of that one word: exploit

You should be careful because it also has a less honorable definition:

2 : to make use of meanly or unfairly for one's own advantage <exploiting migrant farm workers>

In order to have an intelligent discussion, it's important that everybody understands clearly what's being said. Words with more than one meaning tend to muddy the water. I asked you to clarify and you did (eventually).

 

[NjailaRhee]

It's not a bad thing necessarily, but I just wanted you to clarify which definition you were using. This whole thread has spun out of control because of that one word: exploit

You should be careful because it also has a less honorable definition:

2 : to make use of meanly or unfairly for one's own advantage <exploiting migrant farm workers>

In order to have an intelligent discussion, it's important that everybody understands clearly what's being said. Words with more than one meaning tend to muddy the water. I asked you to clarify and you did (eventually).

it's okay i misread your first post i thought you were recognizing that there were two definitions and that you understood which one i was using. :3

 

[NjailaRhee]

When you realize that there was absolutely no interest in you and they just went out with you for a good time, then I feel like a loser and a used one at that.

Gavy

i guess, but if everyone had a good time then I don't really see it as using you. If she was a mean person and berated you after the meal then yeah fuck her, but if she was nice and remained personable then what's the big deal. I've gone out with guys i didn't think were attractive and then told them after the fact that there just wasn't anything there, and the next time we hung out we both paid.

 

[DaveNJ]

it's okay i misread your first post i thought you were recognizing that there were two definitions and that you understood which one i was using. :3

Cool. FWIW, I was pretty sure I knew which definition you were using, but I was positive nobody else understood that, so I wanted you to clarify it for myself, as well as for everyone else. There is nothing more frustrating than watching a disagreement over something as easy to fix as a misunderstanding over terminology.

 

[DaveNJ]

i guess, but if everyone had a good time then I don't really see it as using you. If she was a mean person and berated you after the meal then yeah fuck her, but if she was nice and remained personable then what's the big deal. I've gone out with guys i didn't think were attractive and then told them after the fact that there just wasn't anything there, and the next time we hung out we both paid.

See, but that's what I think you are missing (the part that I bolded). A "Dinner Whore" wouldn't go out with the guy the next time, especially if he wasn't buying. So by you going out with the guy again and splitting the bill, it disqualifies you from being a dinner whore. So the whole concept of this thread doesn't even apply to you.

It's all about the intention. A dinner whore goes out with a guy as an opportunity to get a free meal, nothing more. In her mind, its not about giving the guy a fair shot, keeping an open mind, etc. It's all about filling her belly and then moving on to the next mark.

 

[NjailaRhee]

yeah , i can see the bad in that, but the guy did ask her to dinner. If the guy was like I see this going somewhere and she lead him to believe it was when it wasn't then yes she's unfair and even a bit cruel. But if the same dude always pays and the relationship has never exalted I'm gonna assume that he just wants dinner unless he says something. So the burden is not just on the woman but the guy for not saying anything after he suspects that she just wants dinner.

I have someone that I always went to dinner with he used to go to my church this little dorky lawyer. he always takes me to nice places, he always pays, but he know i have a boyfriend and that nothing will happen between us. I don't think I'm leading him on just because he's paying.

 

[masquerade]

I'm not psychic...I may not want to fuck a guy...then two years down the line i want him to rip off my panties. So i can't say yes to a meal...unless I'm 100% sure I'm going to let a guy smash?

Sorry hon, but you know we know whether or not a guy has a shot! I'm calling bullshit here.

 

[masquerade]

but what you are saying takes away a woman's right to change her mind and give a guy a chance even if she's thinking the guy sucks.

Why would you go out with a guy in the first place if you think he "sucks"?

I don't think anyone here is disputing that a woman has the right to accept a dinner invitation without the expectation that she'll have sex with the guy. On the contrary, what I believe we're all in agreement on is that it's wrong to let someone spend money on you when you know what they're driving at you have no intention of ever delivering. It's called grifting, and it's really, really uncool. You don't have to tell people everything about how you feel - that's your prerogative and you certainly have your right to privacy, but if you're going to behave in ways that lead them to believe something different than what you know to be true, then you're acting very unethically, IMHO.

 

[justme]

Sorry hon, but you know we know whether or not a guy has a shot! I'm calling bullshit here.

But some guys like to pay for a girl's dinner even if they have no intention of having sex with them. Why should she be bothered to figure out what kind of relationship a guy has with his money? Besides, it's ultimately his choice, not hers, to ask her out.

 

[NjailaRhee]

But some guys like to pay for a girl's dinner even if they have no intention of having sex with them. Why should she be bothered to figure out what kind of relationship a guy has with his money? Besides, it's ultimately his choice, not hers, to ask her out.

THANK YOU


and also I think it's bs that a woman can only look at one man the same way all the time. I've had male friends that i thought were ugly frog headed losers but after getting to know them I would totally do them if I didn't have a boyfriend. How is it grifting to expand your relationship with someone at HIS invite?

 

[Axe]

Sorry hon, but you know we know whether or not a guy has a shot! I'm calling bullshit here.

BINGO!!

 

[Axe]

But some guys like to pay for a girl's dinner even if they have no intention of having sex with them.

Who?

Male family members is all I can come up with, and that doesnt fit the scenario we're talking about.

 

[justme]

I'm sure there are just as many men who like to spend money on women without sex as there are couples in which the wife has no real problem with her husband spending tons of money on strippers.

(Did Slinky ever get around to installing the irony emoticon in any of my absences?)