Why is this?

P

Phantom

#1
#1
Can any of you, ladies in paticular, please give me some answers as to why a woman would allow the following situations to continue.

I know a couple of women, both of whom are escorts. 1 I know personally and 1 I know of.

Case number 1. Single, very intelligent woman is involved with a married guy who treats her like shit. Has abused her in every possible way, yet she still stays with him. He lies to her daily, is so jealous that he accuses her of working at a sporting event that they attended together. In fact she went to smoke a cigerette.

Case number 2. Again a single, young, intelligent woman who pushes away a guy who is totally into her and treats her with utmost respect, because she can not bring herself to break it off with this other guy who I assume is married only because he never has the time to see her.

Ladies, I'm clueless as to why single, intelligent women continue to let lowlife guys treat them like this. I'm beginning to think that women really do not want a nice guy. So, ladies, can you please give me some insight into a woman's mind as to why you let this happen. Thanks.
 
F

fishfry

#2
#2
I posted links to a site that explores this subject in detail and with great insight. The thread is

http://www.utopiaguide.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=1092

and the links are http://www.sosuave.com/ and http://www.sosuave.com/doclove/..

The question is, "what's the difference between nice guys and great guys?"

The links I posted blow the shit out of the myth of the "nice guy" and tell you how to adjust your nice guy behavior to be more of a challenge to women.

It's not about being an abusive jerk. Women are often drawn to abusive jerks because initially the jerks seem like strong confident men.

You can be a nice guy and still do well with women when you realize that women like a little challenge, and they don't like puppy dogs.

I strongly recommend thorough study of the links I gave to any man who is always wondering why he, a nice guy, can't get the time of day with women who seem to prefer abusive jerks.

fish
 
Slinky Bender

Slinky Bender

The All Powerful Moderator
#3
#3
Go to a circus. Look at a 3,000 pound elephant with a flimsy little "collar" around it's ankle, with a $2 chain, tied to a small stake in the ground. Now, it would seem that this huge beast could break free of this flimsy restraint any time it wants to.

But you have to remember, when the elephant was very small, they tied him up to a much stronger stake, with a stronger chain and a stronger collar. At first, he tried to break free. He pulled and pulled, till his skin chafed and bled, but he could not break free.

Eventually, the elephant stopped trying to break free. Some time later, he actualy started to derive comfort from knowing he was securely tied to "his" stake. After that, they started to use the flimsy chain, collar and stake. Now, the elephant is still tied to the stake with the chain and collar, but the only thing really keeping him there is in his own mind.

[Edited by slinkybender on 07-10-2001 at 06:35 PM]
 
O

Ozzy

#5
#5
slinky....that is without a doubt the best analogy i've ever seen on that subject.

phantom....you shoot him in the ass or you stop feeding him.

since were talking about a woman i'd shoot for the second one. stop feeding her.

[Edited by Ozzy on 07-10-2001 at 06:59 PM]
 
B

boris

#8
#8
mmmmmm....
Not that cute....but what a great personality.

Don't think it was women who made that one up :}

It may not be rational, but only some of us choose to mate up with the "nicest" person we know. Why it sometimes turns out to be someone far from nice, I have no idea except that both sexes choose for many reasons that have little to do with "nice".
 
W

woodman

#9
#9
I have also found this out to be true with some providers and dancers that I know. For reasons I cannot figure they seem to attract and be attracted to the scum of the earth. I know of a few women who support these low-lifes with their 6 figure incomes and basically live on public assistance cause they choose to support these scumbags and their bad habits. These men are also very abusive to these women. I have tried to be a hero many times and make some of these girls understand they are much better and deserve to be treated better but it has yet to be successful. Don't get me on a roll on this one cause I can go on forever.

[Edited by Elmo on 07-10-2001 at 10:54 PM]
 
J

Julienyc

#10
#10
Being in this biz can be very rewarding yet very degrading and some women feel they may not be accepted by a well rounded nice guy. I also find that(some) women in this biz pick losers so they can feel like they have the upper hand in bringing in the dough and even playing mommy to some loser. I have noticed several types of lady in this Biz one being very independent on her own lots of cash stacked up and very alone who loves what she is doing and handles it well, the second being a pimp and whore relationship ,very needy woman feels like she has a family with a pimp and wife inlaws, and they seem to thrive. Another ,a woman who runs the family ,pays all the bills , while her loser husband or boyfriend sits at home waiting for her thinking about who she is sucking off at that moment. There are many types of women in this line of work and some are students , mothers , single ,married , and it is not easy to find a nice husband , I read the thread about providers and marriage ,the opinions of most were pretty wild. This is a hard way to make money no matter how alluring it may seem ,sex is fun and the money is great but you pay a price and must go up against morales and such from family and relationships in general, when a woman chooses this way to live things can get complicated .
 
P

Paige

#11
#11
Love

Love it's all because of love. The simple answer is the truest.
People stay because love is the most powerful emotion
wars erupt from it people kill because of it people live in regret from it.
Love is the sweetest emotion u can feel and yet the pain it can cause is unbearable .
Women stay when they should leave and it's all because
of that bond love creates it's physical as well as emotional.
PaigeOfNYC
 
C

Casper

#12
#12
Re: Love

Originally posted by Paige
Love it's all because of love. The simple answer is the truest.
People stay because love is the most powerful emotion
wars erupt from it people kill because of it people live in regret from it.
Love is the sweetest emotion u can feel and yet the pain it can cause is unbearable .
Women stay when they should leave and it's all because
of that bond love creates it's physical as well as emotional.
PaigeOfNYC
Click to expand...

I'll be brief in my statement so excuse me if I do not get into a deeply philosophical discussion as I am easily distracted. Anyway here goes: IMHO it's the desire to be loved/wanted/accepted etc that make people (males and females alike) do and or stay in situations that are not beneficial to them. Let's not forget low self esteem, which plays an equally important part. This is the Reader's Digest version so feel free to expand on or trash my post. I can take it .... lol

Peace Out
C
 
H

HAPPY GUY

#13
#13
If anyone has the solution to this, please bottle it. You'll make a million dollars. Seriously. This is essentially what happened with the provider that I was involved with, and it really kills me that she stuck around with a true asshole. I think about it every day, in fact.
 
L

Luciano

#14
#14
There probably is no definitive solution to why people make less than optimal choices. There are a variety of factors involved that make each situation unique. As Julie has pointed out, certain archtypes do emerge with a large enough population (in the statistical sense); The Lament of the Nice Guy is one of them.

The issue of confidence seems to be extremely important to women. This doesn't only mean a woman will be attracted to a confident man; it may also mean that she will go to great lengths to feel confident. If this means being the obvious "superior" partner in a relationship, or wishing for the familiarity of a known circumstance, then she may go in these directions.

My personal opinion would be to approach the subject from the position of a confident confidant. Find out what she wants and tell her you are it. Good Luck.
 
H

Hotpuppy

Mr.Butterworth
#15
#15
Originally posted by Bahuba


My personal opinion would be to approach the subject from the position of a confident confidant. Find out what she wants and tell her you are it. Good Luck. [/QUOTE

I like this approach, unless what she wants is not who you are!
As one who has been a sufferer of "nice guy syndrome", this would be an alternative to becoming an asshole! I spent too much time and money learning who I was and then learning to like it, to diverge from the path now. I plan on continuing to be a nice guy until I meet the woman that is looking for exactly that. To me there is almost nothing sexier than a woman that knows precisely what she wants and knows how to ask for it. I know you are out there!
take care HP

[Edited by Hotpuppy on 07-11-2001 at 10:19 PM]
Click to expand...
 
J

Julienyc

#17
#17
Re: Love

Originally posted by Paige
Love it's all because of love. The simple answer is the truest.
People stay because love is the most powerful emotion
wars erupt from it people kill because of it people live in regret from it.
Love is the sweetest emotion u can feel and yet the pain it can cause is unbearable .
Women stay when they should leave and it's all because
of that bond love creates it's physical as well as emotional.
PaigeOfNYC
Click to expand...
Love is sometimes confused with obsession , dependance, being in need of companionship ,
 
W

wsb

#18
#18
Originally posted by Julienyc
Being in this biz can be very rewarding yet very degrading and some women feel they may not be accepted by a well rounded nice guy. I also find that(some) women in this biz pick losers so they can feel like they have the upper hand in bringing in the dough and even playing mommy to some loser. I have noticed several types of lady in this Biz one being very independent on her own lots of cash stacked up and very alone who loves what she is doing and handles it well, the second being a pimp and whore relationship ,very needy woman feels like she has a family with a pimp and wife inlaws, and they seem to thrive. Another ,a woman who runs the family ,pays all the bills , while her loser husband or boyfriend sits at home waiting for her thinking about who she is sucking off at that moment. There are many types of women in this line of work and some are students , mothers , single ,married , and it is not easy to find a nice husband , I read the thread about providers and marriage ,the opinions of most were pretty wild. This is a hard way to make money no matter how alluring it may seem ,sex is fun and the money is great but you pay a price and must go up against morales and such from family and relationships in general, when a woman chooses this way to live things can get complicated .
Click to expand...
That was a REALLY EXCELLENT post!
 
P

Paige

#19
#19
There is no wrong or right

First to Mr Casper why would anyone trash u for your opinion or belief I certainly would'nt . There are no wrong or right answers here they all vary. Julie shed some insight as well along with everyone else . Yes, I enjoyed the post as well. No fighting a nice mutual give and take of opinions , facts and other interesting view points. It's nice to see the board like this. As I always say u don't have to like the poster or what he or she may say and u may of course always disagree it's when people are trashed and ripped apart for having an opinion different from the majority that makes it wrong.
Toodles,
PaigeOfNYC
 
C

Casper

#20
#20
Mz Paige, the "you can trash me" comment was said in a joking way, but I didn't really make that point clear, sorry. Anyway I can take critism, trash talk, whatever one wants to call it because I for one don't need anyone's praise to validaty myself in any way whatsoever. That being said: No one here ever trashed me in any way whatsoever (just to make it absolutely clear to everyone)

Peace Out
C
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top