You can touch girls at Flashdancers, Lace, Scores and myriad other places. Also, the notorious Episodes, where I've never been. For all the low down on the city's strip club scene, there's an exceptional Yahoo! club called NYCStripclubs (sp?) moderated by valjean (do a search for his name, I'm sure you'll find a link; yahoo has kind of taken it underground as I recall). Catch hints once in a while about underground action in the City.
JL is right Billy, you can get mileage in the city. It's not exactly Caligula, but if you're discreet you can touch and get a good rub down. Wild Wild West in Brooklyn was exceptional in this regard, though I don't know how it's been since that cop got busted in a DWI/car accident last summer. There are also a few good places in Queens (I'm told).
Cheese: If you want a place, I'm sure most clubs would do it for the right price. Just ask a mgr. If you want mileage, approach dancers to find out if they do private shows and you'll do much better.