What to do about VD ?
- Thread starter Slinky Bender
- Start date
here's a good place to start: http://www.cdc.gov/health/diseases.htm
St. Valentine and her evil twin
For the celebration of St. Valentine, I suggest a nice chicken dish with rice pilaf, some green vegetables followed by an assortment of fine Belgium chocolate. If you have a date lined up, great...if not, pour a nice Chardonnay over the left had to get your date drunk.
If you're dealing with the evil twin of St. VD, might I suggest you select a name and address at random from the phone book followed by a visit to the county health clinic. The following will help the county's statistics:
1) I was abducted by aliens and raped.
2) I fell asleep on the LIRR and got off the wrong stop. Used the toilet, and now I'm here.
3) I looked over to the car next to me and some chick was giving a BBBJ to the driver...he must have spilled a cup of coffee cuz he swerved and we collided doing 80MPH. I got out to help the other car only to notice that the guy's loins were a bloody mess and I could see a stump where his penis used to be....Peforming the Heimlich on the girl, I must have scratched myself on some broken glass. As the penis was expelled, I rushed it over to the driver and held it into place in that bloody pool until the ambulance arrived. Between touching all that semen, blood and having an open wound on my hand, I must have contracted a venereal disease.... Can you help?
For the celebration of St. Valentine, I suggest a nice chicken dish with rice pilaf, some green vegetables followed by an assortment of fine Belgium chocolate. If you have a date lined up, great...if not, pour a nice Chardonnay over the left had to get your date drunk.
If you're dealing with the evil twin of St. VD, might I suggest you select a name and address at random from the phone book followed by a visit to the county health clinic. The following will help the county's statistics:
1) I was abducted by aliens and raped.
2) I fell asleep on the LIRR and got off the wrong stop. Used the toilet, and now I'm here.
3) I looked over to the car next to me and some chick was giving a BBBJ to the driver...he must have spilled a cup of coffee cuz he swerved and we collided doing 80MPH. I got out to help the other car only to notice that the guy's loins were a bloody mess and I could see a stump where his penis used to be....Peforming the Heimlich on the girl, I must have scratched myself on some broken glass. As the penis was expelled, I rushed it over to the driver and held it into place in that bloody pool until the ambulance arrived. Between touching all that semen, blood and having an open wound on my hand, I must have contracted a venereal disease.... Can you help?
Ah ha! I didn't fall for that!
I've been refering to Valentines Day as VD for the past week, so I was prepared.
Valentine's Day freaks me out a bit. If we DON'T give one another stupid crap, I'll be bummed - but the whole thing makes me a little nauseous.
My boyfriend, by the way, is fabulous, handsome, adorable, brilliant, and, of course, damned lucky.
I'd love to tell you all about him, but I can't - you'd be able to figure out who he is in about two minutes if I told you anything, because he's ALL THAT in his field.
Did I mention he was handsome?
I've been refering to Valentines Day as VD for the past week, so I was prepared.
Valentine's Day freaks me out a bit. If we DON'T give one another stupid crap, I'll be bummed - but the whole thing makes me a little nauseous.
My boyfriend, by the way, is fabulous, handsome, adorable, brilliant, and, of course, damned lucky.
I'd love to tell you all about him, but I can't - you'd be able to figure out who he is in about two minutes if I told you anything, because he's ALL THAT in his field.
Did I mention he was handsome?