Here's a Start
Given we have a new moderator for this section, I thought it might be appropriate to start a thread about the "lifestyle" for newbies and the uninitiated here on UG. The basic questions are: Any discussion or commentary is encouraged !
1. What is the lifestyle, broadly defined ( not just swinging) ?
For me the lifestyle would be anything that is a part of your way of life. Lifestyles generally involve an activity that is shared by a group of people. It's acknowledged by many to be a way of life and by others to be specifically, "not a lifestyle, " but "just something I like to do every once in a while" If it's not something you do when the mood strikes (and it doesn't strike all that often) or not something that makes up an intrinsic part of your life or personality, it isn't a lifestyle.
2. How does one ease into this?
It really depends on you. The best way is by doing research, which is how I started. Oh wait...no...I started by reading dirty books when I was waaaaay to young. If you're looking to take it one step at a time and not get overwhelmed it's really best to do as much reading about other people's real experiences as possible. One, it helps build up enthusiasm. Two, it'll help you not freak out when faced with the reality.
Steps Two and Three will be unveiled to you through some devine source. HA! Finding a willing partner is always a fantasy, but most will have to go it alone (if it makes anyone feel better, I did). Find a community of people who do what you're interested in. They throw parties and little get-togethers. Identify the one throwing this party and ***** them and ask them questions. They're usually very helpful. Some for the wrong reasons, some for the right reasons, but either way you'll have information that you can use to get to Step Four. The First Experience.
3. If one is in a relationship, does it necessarily involve one or both parties?
Not necessarily. It depends on the relationship. However, if you are in a relationship you can throw "hints" at your partner. The "possiblity" The easiest way is to mention a newspaper article on swinging. Like, "Honey, there was this article in the XXX about some swinger scandal." Do a google on this because it helps if the article is real (which, trust me with the level of scandal going on these days...it is). Gauge her reaction. You'll know what to do from there. If you don't...I can offer an assist in the way of advice on getting around it.
4. Given the "clicks" sometimes involved, how does one overcome this?
Cliques form naturally. It's based on people seeing the same people over and over again. They play together, get to know each other. Talk, exchange numbers. It seems daunting when you're new, but remember, these people have probably been doing it a lot longer than you or took to it like a fish to water.
But a cliques are based on a few simple words, "Hello, my name is..." It's like moving to a new neighborhood and stepping into the neighborhood bar for the first time. Once people get to know you, see you play, and get comfortable, it won't be hard to find yourself in a clique of your own. And to be honest in swing clubs those cliques fluctuate because everyone really just wants to get off.
