The Wife

genius

genius

#21
#21
A 96 year old man was sitting on a park bench sobbing and crying. A police office comes over to him and says "Sir why are you sobbing and crying".
The old man says:
"Well Last year I married a young woman.
She truly loves me and insisted on a prenup to protect the inheritance of my children.
She is spectacularly beautiful.
She keeps our home clean and neat.
She helps me shower and shave, picks out my clothes for the day and always makes sure the are freshly laundered and ironed.
She is a fantastic cook and prepares me spectacular meals and always picks out perfect wines for the meal

And in the bedroom she caters to my every wish and is so unbelievably sexy that we can have passionate sex a couple of times a night - and I don't even need V*iagra"

With a puzzled look on his face the cop says to the old guy:
"Sir, I don't understand. You seem to have a wonderful life. So why are you sobbing and crying"

The old guy lets out a pathetic sob and says: "I forgot where I live."
 
MayorSimpleton

MayorSimpleton

#22
#22
Old guy driving with his hard of hearing wife gets pulled over on his way to florida.
Cops says "license and registration please". Wife says " what did he say?".
He yells "HE ASKED FOR MY LICENSE AND REGISTRATION".
Cop says "I see you're from New York". Wife asked again " what did he say?".
He yells "HE SAID HE SEES WE'RE FROM NEW YORK". Cop then says "where are you going?" Again the wife asked what did he say . The husband repeats "HE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE WE ARE GOING". He then tells the cop " we are going to Florida".
The cop then says "Florida? I had the worse lay in Florida". The wife asks again what did he say?
The husband yells "HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU".
 
Banacek

Banacek

#28
#28
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase
He asks, "What are you doing?"

She replies, "I'm off to New York City. I read that prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free."

Later, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
"Where are you going?" she asks

"I'm coming with you. I want to see how you live on $800 a year"
 
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