Funny, very funny. I'm praying that this is a joke.
Speaking of good Internet wanking, I just had a nice time at http:www.ifriends.com as goofy as that sounds. You pay $1.99 per minute and get a private session with a woman. She does whatever you tell her to. Everything is organized by demographics: blonde, brunette, etc., etc.
Okay, I'm bored, but still: it was fun.