The Death of Discretion

Slinky Bender

Slinky Bender

The All Powerful Moderator
#1
#1
PMB's were a natural match for the internet: take a subject that guys need to share their stories with their friends, but make the subject taboo so they CAN'T. BOOM! With the birth of PMB's guys can share their war stories anonymously. the concept caught on like wildfire. bidoggie, JAG, etc.

But soon business interests started to corrupt the process. Both supply side and demand side realized how to manipulate the system. Backchanneling, shilling, etc. run rampant. We had women telling us the purpose of our site is to provide free advertising and guys saying you write one story for public consumption and then the truth to your friends backchannel.

We have tricks so up in girls businesses that they have the personal info of many of their clients. I was personally aghast when the person posting for Hiyako told me I should thank him for "the freebie" when I hadn't even received one (aghast because he even kn ew I had been there, aghast because I wondered who else he was telling I got a freebie, etc.).

A former advertiser had to send out an email this week chiding his customers for talking in the elevator because SO's of some of his other customers visit other establishments in the building.

What happened to discretion? This used to be the "dirty little secret". Have things swung so far in the opposite direction that guys don't realize the potential for personal disaster anymore?
 
M

madmix

banned
#2
#2
I'm a newbie here. Been hobbying awhile though. Personally, whenever I do my thing no one knows. There is just too much to lose. I've gone to a couple of places where they asked my name, what I do for a living etc. I give them zero. I'm a ghost. Never discuss my hobby with anyone...ever. One must be very discreet especially when dealing with BP CL girls and other independents. You may give out too much personal info, next thing you know its BLCKMAIL time.

Is it that hard to keep quiet and do your thing?
 
P

paperpusher

#3
#3
One day last year I stopped by my favorite that works in an AMP. There were a group of asians guys that stopped by. Let me repeat, group. They all knew each other and knew why they were there. It was as if they were doing the AMP crawl, the way people do with bars.

Some time last week, i was visiting an AMP again. I was ringing the buzzer. There was a middle age asian women there staring at me. She gave me this knowing smile, but it was more of a chuckle. The AMP did not answer and we were both stuck there. I gave her back a quirky smile letting her know I knew why she was smiling. And we just laughed.
Five years ago, those stares were of disgust.

The word happy ending is now forever in our lexicon and it is no longer a bad word. That is until you meet the middle age house frauw .

With greater acceptance, comes people willing to expose themselves more.

Five years ago, I was told never acknowledge my participation in this hobby with my best friend. Now I have dinner parties with new friends to commemorate this hobby. Now old friends are approaching me about what I know about the topic, not knowing my involvement.

I wonder if the pendulum will ever swing back. You can blame the internet if you like.
 
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backseat

backseat

#4
#4
The phrase "happy ending" was popularized by a show called "The Mind of the Married Man." I think it was on HBO. It was a comedy that was watched by husbands and wifes. What a shock when that episode aired.
 
P

pawgluvr

#5
#5
There is less discretion, because an increasing number of people see it as normal. Maybe not a large number of people, but certainly the increasing availability of porn on the internet has numbed many people. I know I can't look at a young attractive woman without wondering what her price would be.
 
K

kingotis

#8
#8
Discretion is dead or dying everywhere in our culture. Personal lives - the good, the bad, the exceptionally ugly - are on display, spread eagle, flayed open everywhere around us. Intimate details are "shared" with thousands of "friends" - precious few of whom are more than mere acquaintances - by millions on Facebook every second of every day. Appalling dysfunction is played for laughs, drama and most of all profit across thousands of hours of basic cable programming every week. We don't even have private phone conversations anymore. We march through our offices, down sidewalks, in shopping malls with phones glued to our ears, exposing dirty laundry and filthy secrets to everyone in earshot.

Discretion, like innocence, solitude and quiet dignity, is a quaint vestige of a dying history. The hobby is just another venue for the same trend.
 
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S

superwoman01

#10
#10
backseat said:
The phrase "happy ending" was popularized by a show called "The Mind of the Married Man." I think it was on HBO. It was a comedy that was watched by husbands and wifes. What a shock when that episode aired.
Click to expand...
I loved that show! The episode where he goes for a massage at a Korean amp was hysterical. "You want happy ending" he said no! lol
 
S

superwoman01

#11
#11
I agree with Kingotis. As the technology has evolved in combination with socializing sites as FB and Twitter, no ones information is safe. I was reading in an article in the record yesterday about a bust. The prosecutors used cell phone information to track suspects without a court order. At least 80 percent of all Americans own a cell phone. Cell phone companies received more than 1 million requests last year alone from law enforcement for cellphone records. Any electronic form of data, from texts, to emails, to these boards are all records that are saved. They are digital foot prints and no one is safe. There is no form of discretion anywhere unless you are a caveman or woman and using the old communication methods. LOL!
 
S

sunraider7

#12
#12
We are just a hair's width away from being victims of a Statsi-like surveillance system that victimized thousands of citizens in the former GDR. Our USA Patriot Act virtually suspends our right to privacy, the NSA records every electronic transmission that occurs here and overseas, and there are paid government informants to be found everywhere. PMBs like UG will soon are in its final days.
 
A

Axe

#14
#14
mrtaiwan said:
In China it's mostly OK to ask a woman if it's OK to do her friend. Work back from that.
Click to expand...
It's ok to do that here too as long as you are somewhat careful about who you ask.

If someone wants to 'out' themselves that's one thing. Out someone else and now we have a serious problem. You just DO NOT do it. EVER.

One night after work I decide to go to one of the local SCs. After a couple hours non other than a co-worker walks in and sees me. No problem, that's Mutually Assured Destruction. I.e., the only reason he knew I was there is because he was there too. At least you would think so.

Now, did this stop him from letting some others at work know I was there that night? Cough. Fuck no. The next day as I walk into another co-worker's office, the first thing he does is ask me if I 'have any singles'. Ok, I roll with it and reach into my pocket and say "I'm sure I have a few left over from last night..." We both have a laugh and the entire incident is now completely forgotten; in this case because neither I or my 'outer' really could give a shit about being outted for being at a strip club.

As long as it's still unknown that I'm banging half the dancers at the club - and it is - then I still dont give a shit. For all I know, the other guy is doing the same thing. But that would only be a guess...
 
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K

Kingaddictx

#15
#15
Things are def different. 5 years ago, i would never get a call back from a provider, unless i just called them and hey didn't pick up (because they are screening). Now i have pro's calling me in the middle of the day, whom i haven't seen in months, most of whom were one offs (ty mongger fone). same deal with txt messsges. The main thing is online culture changed in the last 5-7 years.

with CL going thru it battles, but no one actually being able to STOP posting of ads, i think the public has just accepted hobbying exist and it's not going anywhere. Better to ignore it, than waste time trying to stop it.

its kinda like how when people whould read the VV and than act surprised someone mentioned that the ads in the back were for AMPS and indy's. They already KNEW the ads were there, they just didn't want to acknowledge them.
 
K

Kingaddictx

#16
#16
Also you can't forget the anonymity of the internet. I mean look at all of us. Here we are talking about this, 15 years ago not so much. When people can find fourms like these and then link up offline, discretion goes south.
 
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