This place can be found a little further east on Portion Rd, but wasn’t covered in the thread Rt 16 Stretch, Horseblock rd - Portion rd –
I spotted New Fang Fang Spa while passing thru Farmingville.
I checked them out on Google. If you click on the photo of their sign above the door,
You get to see their menu (and it reads like a Menu):
FOUR HANDS
30 minutes..$50
60 Minutes..$70…and so on.
I always had this fantasy of the 2 girls you see in all the Mothra Movies, standing over me in their bikini’s chanting….
“MOTH-A-RAAAAAH, YEH; MOTH-A-RAAAH” and then moving in.
And for fifty bucks I’m gonna make it happen without going to Japan.
I arrive around 11am. Nice size Parking lot and you can park off to the side.
I walk in, I see the camera, I hear “hello” from the back. I say “hello”, I then hear “hello”
I said:” we can do this all day if you like”.
MMS (I think) comes out. Tall thin, masked, hair pulled back – Looks like a Lunch Lady from a school in Hell’s Kitchen.
She asks how Long, and I wasn’t about to waste my 7 inch line.
I said half is good and point to four hands on the menu on the wall…but this one says $65.
I think ok, Bait, switch, son of a bitch!
But I bite and hand over $65..I hear Red Foreman calling me a “Dumb-Ass”.
Small rooms, clean, curtain doors, walls not only do not go up to the ceiling, and they’re only about 2 inches over my head.
I wait, I hear a ‘Gentleman” (LOL) in the next room doing some negotiation and then I hear “thank you, thank you”.
The woman who took my money comes in gives ST..Ok asks if I want soft or medium.
I say medium…she leaves for a few minutes, then comes back with a short, round-faced, 50 y/o lady: “HALLOOO!”
..oh, boy.
This one came up to the first one’s shoulder in height.
So, I figure I’m in the circus, on with the…… show.
I was soaked with Wesson oil by both of them, while the two hens cackled back in forth.
At one point they started to whisper to each, and, quite frankly, it was hot. It got the ‘ol Evan Root crankin’….but that didn’t last long.
I got the mid-way up sell – “You want another half hour for $20.00?”
I asked how long did I have left?”
“12 minutes”
I’m good.
No Tease, No Flip, No Names…NO WAY am I coming back.
On the way out I was offered a glass of water. ”NO Thanks”
As I made my way to the door, the tall one jumped in front of me to block me leaving and said: ”TIPPO, TIPPO!!”
I stood there and stared into her face hard; she would not blink.
SO, I figured it wasn’t a total loss, I now have “Wessonality”.
I gave her $30 and told them to split it..They actually thanked.
RECAP
Four Hand, HH..65
Undeserved tip…30
Total……………90
Take away: If you just want a rub down with no anticipation of extras or fun…you should find another place.
I spotted New Fang Fang Spa while passing thru Farmingville.
I checked them out on Google. If you click on the photo of their sign above the door,
You get to see their menu (and it reads like a Menu):
FOUR HANDS
30 minutes..$50
60 Minutes..$70…and so on.
I always had this fantasy of the 2 girls you see in all the Mothra Movies, standing over me in their bikini’s chanting….
“MOTH-A-RAAAAAH, YEH; MOTH-A-RAAAH” and then moving in.
And for fifty bucks I’m gonna make it happen without going to Japan.
I arrive around 11am. Nice size Parking lot and you can park off to the side.
I walk in, I see the camera, I hear “hello” from the back. I say “hello”, I then hear “hello”
I said:” we can do this all day if you like”.
MMS (I think) comes out. Tall thin, masked, hair pulled back – Looks like a Lunch Lady from a school in Hell’s Kitchen.
She asks how Long, and I wasn’t about to waste my 7 inch line.
I said half is good and point to four hands on the menu on the wall…but this one says $65.
I think ok, Bait, switch, son of a bitch!
But I bite and hand over $65..I hear Red Foreman calling me a “Dumb-Ass”.
Small rooms, clean, curtain doors, walls not only do not go up to the ceiling, and they’re only about 2 inches over my head.
I wait, I hear a ‘Gentleman” (LOL) in the next room doing some negotiation and then I hear “thank you, thank you”.
The woman who took my money comes in gives ST..Ok asks if I want soft or medium.
I say medium…she leaves for a few minutes, then comes back with a short, round-faced, 50 y/o lady: “HALLOOO!”
..oh, boy.
This one came up to the first one’s shoulder in height.
So, I figure I’m in the circus, on with the…… show.
I was soaked with Wesson oil by both of them, while the two hens cackled back in forth.
At one point they started to whisper to each, and, quite frankly, it was hot. It got the ‘ol Evan Root crankin’….but that didn’t last long.
I got the mid-way up sell – “You want another half hour for $20.00?”
I asked how long did I have left?”
“12 minutes”
I’m good.
No Tease, No Flip, No Names…NO WAY am I coming back.
On the way out I was offered a glass of water. ”NO Thanks”
As I made my way to the door, the tall one jumped in front of me to block me leaving and said: ”TIPPO, TIPPO!!”
I stood there and stared into her face hard; she would not blink.
SO, I figured it wasn’t a total loss, I now have “Wessonality”.
I gave her $30 and told them to split it..They actually thanked.
RECAP
Four Hand, HH..65
Undeserved tip…30
Total……………90
Take away: If you just want a rub down with no anticipation of extras or fun…you should find another place.