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"You don't bring your wife to Bali; you bring your 19-year-old girlfriend."
-- A popular Japanese male saying
=====================
J-Girls are different.
Yea, I know, call the Wall Street ****nal, stop the presses and change the headlines on Page One.
J-Girls have a special place in the world as they possess numerous subtle, as well as obvious, positive points. Charms that immediately come to mind include poise, grace and elegance. At the same time, flat-out attractiveness can't be discounted. One major reason why scans of J-Girls flood the Internet: Japan has an impressive number of attractive girls. IMHO, Japan leads the G7 in attractive women per capita.
Some J-Girls have no problems dating, or having flings with, older men.
Buddhism and traditional Confucian values cultivate and contribute to this phenomenon. Also, numerous TV shows, movies and commercials reinforce this view by portraying 40-something and 50-something husbands with wives in their early 20s. Some TV shows also feature 40-something and 50-something married men with secret girlfriends in the 19-to-25 year-old range.
The expense of real estate forces single men to live with their parents until marriage. Therefore, many J-Girls believe that older married men tend to more be worldly and sophisticated.
A certain percentage of J-Girls assume that older successful men, married or single, will pursue younger girls. Men who succeed in the business world will want to succeed in attracting young girlfriends, many J-Girls believe.
All these factors help to stack the deck in favor of older men, Japanese or foreign.
Let's get back to talking about Keiko.
As I said before, from the time of our first sexual encounter, things only got better. When I was with her, I seemed to have boundless energy and desire.
On numerous occasions, Keiko tested me to see if I was only interested in sex (as per the Ground Rules she established during our first date).
For example, we would go out to lunch or coffee or for a walk in Ueno Park. Officially, sex wouldn't be on the menu. However, all it would take is one eye-to-eye glance or for me to hold Keiko's hand a certain way and then she would often ask me if I wanted to go to a Love Hotel.
Still, things seemed too good. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and discover some deep dark secret, such as blackmail, a criminal background, extremist religious or political affiliations or something odd. Nothing.
For Keiko's 22nd birthday, I gave her a silk Chanel scarf. She really liked it and immediately demonstrated her appreciation (we were in a Love Hotel at the time).
One week later, Keiko brought me to a stationary store. She asked me to look at the nicer selection of pens. When I found one I liked, she grabbed an identical pen and bought both: one for her and one for me.
Keiko said the pens were discreet items that we could both use in our daily lives and they would represent our special bond. We could think about each other when we use those pens and it wasn't an obvious gift that would make my wife suspicious.
Eventually, I discovered another minor flaw: Keiko sometimes has problems with her complexion when she experiences periods of intense stress (mostly job related). Not a problem.
As is the case with some girls her age, Keiko changed jobs a few times (which was stressful) during which time she worked at a few different boutiques in Shibuya (the Japanese Mecca for casual 20-something fashion). Eventually, she found something she really enjoyed: Fitness Instructor at a very popular Tokyo chain of health clubs.
At the health club, she started-out as a Weight-Training Instructor.
After Keiko earned a promotion, she became an Aerobics Instructor.
Keiko has the type of body that must make the J-Girls who belong to her health club say to themselves, "I want to look like Keiko-sensei!"
Keiko also continued to play basketball with her high school team; she functions as some sort of a graduate advisor. Sometimes when we were together, she would apologize for the bruises she received during basketball practice sessions. I assured her that it was okay, but I never mentioned that her Badges Of Courage turned me on.
Sometimes when we'd meet, we'd go straight to a Love Hotel. Other times we met for lunch, coffee or walks in the park -- often, the both of us would become so turned-on that we would have to go to the nearest Love Hotel any way. Keiko was perfect.
Many times she would phone me on her lunch hour: "Hi! I am shopping with a friend. She is helping me pick-out some lingerie that I will wear the next time we meet;" or "Hi! I'm thinking about what I want to do to you the next time we get together . . . "
The sensuous calls and internet messages continued. Demographically and geographically, we lived in very separate parts of Tokyo – that minimized the danger factor. She remained sweet and discreet; and she constantly looked for new ways to make me happy. I tried my best to reciprocate.
I have to assume that Keiko is too tall for most Japanese guys, which made me a good match for her. Still, I went to great lengths to try to make her feel smaller and cute, including patting her head and calling her "Chisaina Keiko-chan."
I also begged her to allow me to pick her up off the ground and hug her [known in Japanese as "dakko"]. It's a common request made by cute petite J-Girls to their Japanese boyfriends. She repeatedly protested that she was too big/heavy. Keiko finally let me do that after our 20th sexual encounter. It was fun – I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist.
Eventually, I began to have thoughts that are very dangerous for married men.
I started to fantasize about how our DNA might match and what kind of tall, athletic, attractive combinations it would produce. I wanted to attend her basketball practices and see if I could help her team. I wanted to play one-on-one with her. Post-up on me, Baby!
I started to fantasize about bringing her to formal events in Tokyo: me in my Tux and Keiko in a Neiman Marcus hot black cocktail dress that I would buy for her. I wanted to bring her to parties at the American Embassy. I wanted to bring her to the pool, and be seen poolside, at the Tokyo American Club. Hell, I wanted to be seen with her poolside at the Four Seasons Resort in Bali (Jimbaran Bay).
I felt like I owned a Lamborghini Countach and no one could see me driving it. It was a secret I had to keep from most of my friends in Tokyo and NY, although I know their jaws would drop if they met her.
Then again, I think jaws would drop if I walked with Keiko through Soi Cowboy in Bangkok, cool bars in Manhattan (such as Bryant Park, Luna Park or Pastis) or the nicer beaches of SoCal.
Meanwhile, Keiko experienced a bump in the road with one of her friends from high school.
Keiko repeatedly updated her friend, Chieko, on numerous details of our relationship. Chieko, who didn't have a boyfriend at that time, begged Keiko for an opportunity to meet me. Keiko distrusted Chieko's motives and they reportedly had several arguments. Chieko probably felt that as long as I'm married, she might as well have some fun too. I suspect that Chieko wanted to secretly slip her phone number to me.
Apparently, Chieko became relentless with her requests. One day while sitting in a coffee shop in Shibuya, Keiko asked me if I wanted to meet Chieko.
I told her the truth: I didn't want to meet Chieko because I wanted Keiko to be my only secret girlfriend. Still, I added, I would meet Chieko ONLY if Keiko wanted me to, but that Keiko would remain my one and only secret girlfriend. Keiko grabbed the check, grabbed me by the hand and walked me to the nearest Love Hotel.
Things were great and could have continued for years.
But many good things come to an end, as in the movie "9 1/2 Weeks."
I had to part ways with my firm in Tokyo and fly to New York to start a North American job search. Whenever I returned to Tokyo, we managed to meet at least once or twice each trip.
Since the time I left Japan and officially relocated back to the US, I experienced serious employment turbulence. My current job appears to be quite good, but I haven't been back to Tokyo in more than three years.
If I ever have a business trip to Tokyo I will make every effort to see Keiko. We have such strong mutual attraction and lust that I know it will be a great reunion. Still, I have no tangible claim on her and long-distances relationships based on lust often evaporate. If I never see her again, I will have incredible memories.
I miss Japan.
I miss Keiko.
I still have the pen that she bought for me.
"You don't bring your wife to Bali; you bring your 19-year-old girlfriend."
-- A popular Japanese male saying
=====================
J-Girls are different.
Yea, I know, call the Wall Street ****nal, stop the presses and change the headlines on Page One.
J-Girls have a special place in the world as they possess numerous subtle, as well as obvious, positive points. Charms that immediately come to mind include poise, grace and elegance. At the same time, flat-out attractiveness can't be discounted. One major reason why scans of J-Girls flood the Internet: Japan has an impressive number of attractive girls. IMHO, Japan leads the G7 in attractive women per capita.
Some J-Girls have no problems dating, or having flings with, older men.
Buddhism and traditional Confucian values cultivate and contribute to this phenomenon. Also, numerous TV shows, movies and commercials reinforce this view by portraying 40-something and 50-something husbands with wives in their early 20s. Some TV shows also feature 40-something and 50-something married men with secret girlfriends in the 19-to-25 year-old range.
The expense of real estate forces single men to live with their parents until marriage. Therefore, many J-Girls believe that older married men tend to more be worldly and sophisticated.
A certain percentage of J-Girls assume that older successful men, married or single, will pursue younger girls. Men who succeed in the business world will want to succeed in attracting young girlfriends, many J-Girls believe.
All these factors help to stack the deck in favor of older men, Japanese or foreign.
Let's get back to talking about Keiko.
As I said before, from the time of our first sexual encounter, things only got better. When I was with her, I seemed to have boundless energy and desire.
On numerous occasions, Keiko tested me to see if I was only interested in sex (as per the Ground Rules she established during our first date).
For example, we would go out to lunch or coffee or for a walk in Ueno Park. Officially, sex wouldn't be on the menu. However, all it would take is one eye-to-eye glance or for me to hold Keiko's hand a certain way and then she would often ask me if I wanted to go to a Love Hotel.
Still, things seemed too good. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and discover some deep dark secret, such as blackmail, a criminal background, extremist religious or political affiliations or something odd. Nothing.
For Keiko's 22nd birthday, I gave her a silk Chanel scarf. She really liked it and immediately demonstrated her appreciation (we were in a Love Hotel at the time).
One week later, Keiko brought me to a stationary store. She asked me to look at the nicer selection of pens. When I found one I liked, she grabbed an identical pen and bought both: one for her and one for me.
Keiko said the pens were discreet items that we could both use in our daily lives and they would represent our special bond. We could think about each other when we use those pens and it wasn't an obvious gift that would make my wife suspicious.
Eventually, I discovered another minor flaw: Keiko sometimes has problems with her complexion when she experiences periods of intense stress (mostly job related). Not a problem.
As is the case with some girls her age, Keiko changed jobs a few times (which was stressful) during which time she worked at a few different boutiques in Shibuya (the Japanese Mecca for casual 20-something fashion). Eventually, she found something she really enjoyed: Fitness Instructor at a very popular Tokyo chain of health clubs.
At the health club, she started-out as a Weight-Training Instructor.
After Keiko earned a promotion, she became an Aerobics Instructor.
Keiko has the type of body that must make the J-Girls who belong to her health club say to themselves, "I want to look like Keiko-sensei!"
Keiko also continued to play basketball with her high school team; she functions as some sort of a graduate advisor. Sometimes when we were together, she would apologize for the bruises she received during basketball practice sessions. I assured her that it was okay, but I never mentioned that her Badges Of Courage turned me on.
Sometimes when we'd meet, we'd go straight to a Love Hotel. Other times we met for lunch, coffee or walks in the park -- often, the both of us would become so turned-on that we would have to go to the nearest Love Hotel any way. Keiko was perfect.
Many times she would phone me on her lunch hour: "Hi! I am shopping with a friend. She is helping me pick-out some lingerie that I will wear the next time we meet;" or "Hi! I'm thinking about what I want to do to you the next time we get together . . . "
The sensuous calls and internet messages continued. Demographically and geographically, we lived in very separate parts of Tokyo – that minimized the danger factor. She remained sweet and discreet; and she constantly looked for new ways to make me happy. I tried my best to reciprocate.
I have to assume that Keiko is too tall for most Japanese guys, which made me a good match for her. Still, I went to great lengths to try to make her feel smaller and cute, including patting her head and calling her "Chisaina Keiko-chan."
I also begged her to allow me to pick her up off the ground and hug her [known in Japanese as "dakko"]. It's a common request made by cute petite J-Girls to their Japanese boyfriends. She repeatedly protested that she was too big/heavy. Keiko finally let me do that after our 20th sexual encounter. It was fun – I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist.
Eventually, I began to have thoughts that are very dangerous for married men.
I started to fantasize about how our DNA might match and what kind of tall, athletic, attractive combinations it would produce. I wanted to attend her basketball practices and see if I could help her team. I wanted to play one-on-one with her. Post-up on me, Baby!
I started to fantasize about bringing her to formal events in Tokyo: me in my Tux and Keiko in a Neiman Marcus hot black cocktail dress that I would buy for her. I wanted to bring her to parties at the American Embassy. I wanted to bring her to the pool, and be seen poolside, at the Tokyo American Club. Hell, I wanted to be seen with her poolside at the Four Seasons Resort in Bali (Jimbaran Bay).
I felt like I owned a Lamborghini Countach and no one could see me driving it. It was a secret I had to keep from most of my friends in Tokyo and NY, although I know their jaws would drop if they met her.
Then again, I think jaws would drop if I walked with Keiko through Soi Cowboy in Bangkok, cool bars in Manhattan (such as Bryant Park, Luna Park or Pastis) or the nicer beaches of SoCal.
Meanwhile, Keiko experienced a bump in the road with one of her friends from high school.
Keiko repeatedly updated her friend, Chieko, on numerous details of our relationship. Chieko, who didn't have a boyfriend at that time, begged Keiko for an opportunity to meet me. Keiko distrusted Chieko's motives and they reportedly had several arguments. Chieko probably felt that as long as I'm married, she might as well have some fun too. I suspect that Chieko wanted to secretly slip her phone number to me.
Apparently, Chieko became relentless with her requests. One day while sitting in a coffee shop in Shibuya, Keiko asked me if I wanted to meet Chieko.
I told her the truth: I didn't want to meet Chieko because I wanted Keiko to be my only secret girlfriend. Still, I added, I would meet Chieko ONLY if Keiko wanted me to, but that Keiko would remain my one and only secret girlfriend. Keiko grabbed the check, grabbed me by the hand and walked me to the nearest Love Hotel.
Things were great and could have continued for years.
But many good things come to an end, as in the movie "9 1/2 Weeks."
I had to part ways with my firm in Tokyo and fly to New York to start a North American job search. Whenever I returned to Tokyo, we managed to meet at least once or twice each trip.
Since the time I left Japan and officially relocated back to the US, I experienced serious employment turbulence. My current job appears to be quite good, but I haven't been back to Tokyo in more than three years.
If I ever have a business trip to Tokyo I will make every effort to see Keiko. We have such strong mutual attraction and lust that I know it will be a great reunion. Still, I have no tangible claim on her and long-distances relationships based on lust often evaporate. If I never see her again, I will have incredible memories.
I miss Japan.
I miss Keiko.
I still have the pen that she bought for me.
Here's a follow up question. How do you break it off once they have fallen in love with you. Eventually, they want to get married or have children. It always plays out badly in the end.