I need some advice on Alt. lifestyles and women in general

L

LostNewYorker

#1
#1
I need some advice on women... please - m4wHello ladies, I have been going crazy these last few months not knowing what's going on in my head. I'll explain as briefly as I can and if you have any idea whats going on let me know.thanks
Ok, first of all I'm Italian and Lebanese so I really do like both black and white women. My exgirlfriend has recently come back into my life and we've been having lots of conversations about domination and submission(I'm very comfortable talking to her about anything. In general I could never see myself as a submissive person in any-way however when she talks to me about dominating me I can't help but get extremly turned on(she's white just so everyone knows). I mean, she jokes around about her doing things to me that I know she thinks I would never do but when SHE says it I actually enjoy it, it's a turn on. I see myself as someone who would try anything once. However I know she likes it when I'm in control and just do with her what I want (sexually)
She does, however take the aggressive role every now and then. There is no way I can think of telling her that she can do certain things to me without it getting uncomfortable(no one likes uncomfortable). Sooooo I need some guidance in this matter and would have no problem telling other women what these certain things are in a more private ******. Let me know what you think..
Also I'm not very experienced with the whole sub/dom thing so I would need to learn more about it first, if somehow she was convinced to try it with me.

On another subject,I know she has a freaky side to her, how do I get it out without being too obvious? I mean, I don't just wanna say to her "I'm gonna take you in the a$$ then make you suck on it" or should i? help
 
W

Wandering Bull

#3
#3
You need to get on to some D/s sites...and learn...

BDSM 101
Meeting the Master
Hell.. Read Anne Rice "beauty" series...though under a different name...google it.

You can't fake it...and ..it's a two way street with one simple rule...Safe - Sane - Consensual.

be safe - be well.
 
W

Wandering Bull

#5
#5
Also do a search on the BDSM Bookstore --there's a lot of titles and "flavors" --- You may want to try Learning the Ropes...if that's in your interest.

alt.com is a "dating" service for the lifestyle...but it also has a lot of free information.

Stay away from the titles in run of the mill Adult Bookstores...for the most part the are just engaging in stereotypes.

There's a lot more mental to the "life" than physical. You have to find the zone you're ( both )most comfortable in.
 
C

capitan

#6
#6
You are either dominate or submissive....but not both.

I'm the dominate personallity...I like a woman on her knees in front of me with her hands behind her back while she sucks me off....and when I come, I want to shoot my load all over her sexy face.

Straight ahead,
Capy
 
W

westside

#7
#7
Hi Lost,

You should definitely check out some literature on Dom/Sub.

I'm sure there's plenty of stuff out there for you to read and ordering is very easy with the internet or you can head on down to the local Barnes and Noble.

I guess depending on how much you exert yourself in exploring this new sexual venture will tell you how long u planning on being with this girl.

As for pulling out the freak in her, you should just be upfront and tell her you're going to stick it in her bum and then make her lick it all off.....

Good luck..
 
C

capitan

#11
#11
You guys are probably right...there ARE those who can switch back and forth, but that would NEVER work for me.

I like to play the dominate roll...nothing too freaky..I'm not into cruelty, or pain, or anything like that, but I do like to take control, (but of course, ONLY with her consent).

For me, it's a good BBBJ delivered with a facial.

Straight ahead,
Capy
 
T

Truth

Arbeit Macht Frei
#12
#12
I think Lost should just book a session with any one of the BDSM places in NYC and go from there.

I once thought i might be into the "scene" cuz i would get excited with the idea, just like Lost, but when i tried it i realized it really didn't do anything for me.

I don't know what Lost might think he might be into but i doubt there's much they don't do at those places. They can be as tame or as wild as you want. You might find out, like me, it only sounded like something you'd be into, or, you might find out you're really into it and if you are you'll probably learn things about yourself you never knew before.

Good luck.
 
Slinky Bender

Slinky Bender

The All Powerful Moderator
#14
#14
There are a number of "open" parties which are fairly easily found. A good starting point is to go to one of these and watch, and see what might interest you. You can also probably get the numbers of some of the Pro-dommes who show up (but doubtfull you'll find any unattached submissives there).
 
C

Cookyman

#15
#15
There's a good website that caters strictly to BDSM but I'm not sure if I can post it.
Slinky???
It list all the dommes and subs all over the world.
 
C

ChuckUFarlie

#16
#16
Ok, here's where I get into trouble. I waited to post on this thread cause I was looking forward to a very entertaining Vermeer response and figured I would just be in the way. I guess he is not going to bite. Anway LostNYer, I will answer your post seriously. It may not sound serious as you read it but I assure U I am not joking or posting this as a goof or seeking any sort of response.

Here goes.

Don't feel any kind of guilt. Do not allow yourself to feel ashamed either. People play during sex, some just play more intensely. I'm not sure if you are leaning to be submissive or Dominant but whichever you choose, you will not learn it at these commercial dungeons here in NY. Before you make any appointment to see any girl at any dungeon understand there is no sexual contact, especially on a first visit. They expect $250 plus tip for a session that will not even allow a hj. I've been to all of the houses here in NY and am aware of their inner workings. You know how they find their mistresses? They put ads out like "Get paid to abuse men" or "Earn more than an escort without every having to touch a man." These are woman that want the money that one can earn from the sex industry but want to avoid any penis contact. Thats all these joints are. Don't kid yourself that it's anything else.

I'm Dominant and it's hard to find a submissive. But I managed to have some pretty good sessions at some of these dungeons where any form of vanilla was supposedly not allowed. I fucked some of the top mistresses at some of the more well known dungeons. How? Well it certainly wasn't $ as these bitches think their pussy is worth far more than what any non-billionaire can pay. I used what I learned with my girlfriends over the years not some bullshit they supposedly show you at a dungeon.

Here's where you all are going to disagree. Every girl I been with enjoyed being hit, handled, degraded etc. You don't just slap someone out of nowhere, you take the time to find out what turns them on even if they don't know it yet. It's a matter of control. You can be in total control or you can relinquish control. Outside of these dungeons, most women get more turned being submissive in the bedroom. One of my first D/s relationships began when a girl I was seeing was a little ashamed of being overweight. In reality she was 5'2" 125 pounds but she thought she needed to lose some pounds. She fell in the habit of putting her arms over her midsection to cover herself when we were having sex. One day, I just grabbed her wrists and held her arms down the entire time we "made love" She came like crazy. Eventually this led to me spanking her, slapping and she loved to be pulled by the hair. It got even kinkier, If you met the girl, you would never guess as she comes off as a prude.

Oh what was my point, oh yeah, Don't let some 'scene' or subculture tell you what your kinks are. Figure it out amongst yourselves before you head to some party and they give you a complimentary whip with your drink. Try to read your partner in the bedroom. If she gets wetter as you hold on to her shoulders doing doggie, try grabbing her hair, if she moans while you lightly slap her ass during sex, next time try giving her a spanking. C'mon take a fuckin chance! As this goes further, you may be able to switch things up a bit and maybe someday she'll fuck the living daylights out of your ass with a strapon.
 
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T

Truth

Arbeit Macht Frei
#17
#17
I'm not sure if you are leaning to be submissive or Dominant but whichever you choose, you will not learn it at these commercial dungeons here in NY.

Why not? Lost stated that he has fantasies, both sub and dom, that he would feel more comfortable divulging to a woman other than his SO. A commercial dungeon sounds like just the place for him to get his feet wet and see if he truly likes the scene.

Before you make any appointment to see any girl at any dungeon understand there is no sexual contact, especially on a first visit. They expect $250 plus tip for a session that will not even allow a hj.

1) Prices vary among Dungeons and he can easily get a session for no more than $200 for the hour.

2) You say "no sexual contact", but that's only half-true. The customer can't sexually touch the "mistress" but the mistress can do plenty. It's all so silly in that, as you said, she won't give a HJ but she will fuck you up your ass with a dildo or strap-on.

For all you know, Chuck, that might be exactly what Lost is looking for.

I've been to all of the houses here in NY and am aware of their inner workings. You know how they find their mistresses? They put ads out like "Get paid to abuse men" or "Earn more than an escort without every having to touch a man." These are woman that want the money that one can earn from the sex industry but want to avoid any penis contact. Thats all these joints are. Don't kid yourself that it's anything else.

This is true, but once again, we don't know what Lost thinks he might be into. "Penis contact" might not be that high on his list, but getting pissed on might be. If that's the case, he can definitely get what he wants there.

But I managed to have some pretty good sessions at some of these dungeons where any form of vanilla was supposedly not allowed. I fucked some of the top mistresses at some of the more well known dungeons.

COOL!!!!!!

I wanna fuck Delilah from DOI so bad!!!!!


Don't let some 'scene' or subculture tell you what your kinks are. Figure it out amongst yourselves before you head to some party and they give you a complimentary whip with your drink. Try to read your partner in the bedroom. If she gets wetter as you hold on to her shoulders doing doggie, try grabbing her hair, if she moans while you lightly slap her ass during sex, next time try giving her a spanking. C'mon take a fuckin chance! As this goes further, you may be able to switch things up a bit and maybe someday she'll fuck the living daylights out of your ass with a strapon.

Good advice, but like i said earlier, perhaps a single trip to a dungeon will give him a clearer understanding of what he might like and give him a bit more confidence trying it out back home.

That's all i'm really saying, not that he should become a regular at one of these houses.
 
Slinky Bender

Slinky Bender

The All Powerful Moderator
#18
#18
There's actually an awful lot of crossover, in both directions, between the women who work as "sex workers" and dommes. I agree that a lot of the women go into the "domme business" because they think it will be "easy money" in the sense that they don't have to have sex with the customers. but then an awful lot of them find that it's so mentally draining (the subs are always trying to top from the bottom and such) that they end up realizing that having sex with customrs can actually be a lot easier.

Plus the dungeon scene has gone down the tubes economically as much as a the high end agency scene here in NYC. At an awful lot of places, the head mistress skims the best clients and screws the workers because there's not enough business to go around. And Rel estate prices certainly have not helped, since it costs an arm and a leg to operate a fully equipped dungeon these days.
 
C

capitan

#19
#19
A sub act???

I like to get the girl down on here knees with her legs spread WIDE open, and her arms and hands behind her back, with her head tilted up and forward to take my load all over her face....to me, this is an act of female submission.

Straight ahead,
Capy
 
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C

ChuckUFarlie

#20
#20
"Why not? Lost stated that he has fantasies, both sub and dom, that he would feel more comfortable divulging to a woman other than his SO. A commercial dungeon sounds like just the place for him to get his feet wet and see if he truly likes the scene."


The reason I say this is that there seems to be a hustle at most of the NYC dungeons. In my experience the mistresses were not very helpful in exploring unless it was something they wanted to explore. I think LostNY might wind up spending a lot of $ before finding a mistress that will truly help him. Maybe it's different if the man is the sub, I donno.




"1) Prices vary among Dungeons and he can easily get a session for no more than $200 for the hour.

2) You say "no sexual contact", but that's only half-true. The customer can't sexually touch the "mistress" but the mistress can do plenty. It's all so silly in that, as you said, she won't give a HJ but she will fuck you up your ass with a dildo or strap-on.

For all you know, Chuck, that might be exactly what Lost is looking for."


Yeah I've seen sessions offered at $200 but not much lower. I know the mistress can do plenty but most will not use their hands or anything else on your cock. To me this is just ridiculous. I once fisted a girl's pussy, put 4 fingers in her ass, spanked her, dragged her around the room by her hair, came all over her and then pissed on her. However, a hj was out of the question.




"COOL!!!!!!

I wanna fuck Delilah from DOI so bad!!!!!"


Never did Deliah. The management at DOI btw seems hell-bent on making sure no man entering there dungeon will ever has his penis in one of their mistresses pussy, ass, or mouth. The dykes that run the show there want the girls for themselves.




"That's all i'm really saying, not that he should become a regular at one of these houses"

I guess I'm just pissed thinking about all the time and $ I spent at these dungeons when I would have been better off just going straight to providers and worked it out from there.





I agree Slinky, the dungeon scene seems to be going downhill. I never noticed much crossover though. Many girls have told me they actually preferred doing sessions as submissives because this way they didn't have to worry about the client being unsatisfied and bottoming from the top and such. I'm always looking for someone who will be submissive and do at least bj but it's so difficult to find. I must not be looking in the right places.
 
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