A question of etiquette

[trader1]

Last minute plans have me seeing an ATF out of town. Our usual get togethers are for 2 hours at my hotel. Our initial text convo confirmed date, approx time and her availability— Next day I text over a hello and tell her how excited I am to meet, but change of plans include a new hotel and she goes on to tell me that that is one of her favorites as it has great ambiance and great restaurants.. She suggests let grab a bite and have dessert upstairs.. of course, I respond...

The question...and I suppose, how would I ask it without insulting her.. ( I am most happy to take her to dinner), but am I compensating her for that time or just ‘dessert’, being she suggested this in the first place
TIA

 

[h50]

If it's at the same place and only to eat and then going straight upstairs I would think compensate for only desert but if your previous situation was agreed to as hourly seems you need to ask. Could have just maybe said "I'd be glad to cover the cost of dinner too." or something like that don't know if words to that effect at this point with be good or not.

 

[out of control]

Just pay her what you usually do for a session. Dinner was her idea obviously she enjoys your company. If you want , you can add an extra $50 for her tip but I wouldn't bring it up.

 

[billyS]

I would pay for the dinner but not her hourly rate while at dinner.

 

[The Cocksman]

After youre in bed tell her you enjoyed her company and didnt expect the ouay of funds for dinner. Tell her you expect anal, extra service etc. If she wants extra she will let you know at that point lol. Maybe she just likes you!!

 

[rufusrufus]

do not broach the subject. just pay for dinner and dessert. if she mentions, than you can act befuddled; you enjoyed your dinner togethe and hope she did too. thought dinner was inciuded

 

[trader1]

Thanks all for your feedback!!

 

[chevyman53]

I would pay for the dinner but not her hourly rate while at dinner.

Tried that already after we done in the gave her the standard fee then she said what about the other hour n 1/2 at dinner I aid I paid for the dinner you wanted she left in huff never saw or heard from her again never too another one to dinner again in fact it was a few months after that I stopped using SA

 

[billyS]

Tried that already after we done in the gave her the standard fee then she said what about the other hour n 1/2 at dinner I aid I paid for the dinner you wanted she left in huff never saw or heard from her again never too another one to dinner again in fact it was a few months after that I stopped using SA

Sorry to hear that. I've had different results.

 

[chevyman53]

Sorry to hear that. I've had different results.

There other things that made me decide to stop. I am sure that a lot of guys had different results in one way or another I guess mine was poor judgement on the girls I choose

 

[h50]

Tried that already after we done in the gave her the standard fee then she said what about the other hour n 1/2 at dinner I aid I paid for the dinner you wanted she left in huff never saw or heard from her again never too another one to dinner again in fact it was a few months after that I stopped using SA

That's why I asked if he normally pays hourly. Even if not (and I never do SB timed dates per se) it's worth finding out who you're dealing with so I would have made a statement at the request point. Not "I'll pay you extra" but maybe "Sure I enjoy your company I'll cover the extra dinner bill. I would like to treat you." that way it's clear that's additional and then we move into our normal plan. This is related to some aspects of the rough period I'm having with my ATF. The kitchen sink started getting added into things out of my generosity but it's my money and time and if I want to give it to you that's my choice not yours not a requirement like I'm not even there.

 

[chevyman53]

That's why I asked if he normally pays hourly. Even if not (and I never do SB timed dates per se) it's worth finding out who you're dealing with so I would have made a statement at the request point. Not "I'll pay you extra" but maybe "Sure I enjoy your company I'll cover the extra dinner bill. I would like to treat you." that way it's clear that's additional and then we move into our normal plan. This is related to some aspects of the rough period I'm having with my ATF. The kitchen sink started getting added into things out of my generosity but it's my money and time and if I want to give it to you that's my choice not yours not a requirement like I'm not even there.

There was a time where I did treat her to a meal (on my own ) then on to business in the room where she showed me how happy she was time ran over handed her what I thought would cover all the time spent together she replied that is way too much I explained dinner and the overage in playtime her reply was I enjoy our time together and dinner was a nice surprise and the extra time was my way to show you my appreciation so while I agree there may still be some nice girls there who enjoy being with a SD but majority are out for what they can get from them just my opinion

 

[h50]

So the same woman who said it was too much eventually left in a huff for not getting it. Noiissee. Ugh.

 

[Excitable Boy]

Since you have seen her before, it wouldn't hurt to confirm that dinner is off the clock so that their are no misunderstandings.

 

[chevyman53]

Sorry should have clarify it was different girl

 

[h50]

Well either way is Ugh. I'm all for equality etc and I don't know where society pressure come in but the more I delve deeper the more I'm convinced that there is definitely at least a tendency of there being a male brain and a female brain.