a cleint gets a bad rap unjustly
- Thread starter LIDAWN
- Start date
This is a sensitive subject, and a lot of this is "going around the boards" lately.
On one hand, I feel it might be the best thing to simply delete this thread, but then another would probably crop up, so instead I'll ask that those who don't know anything about the issue simply stear clear.
For the issue, I think it's being stirred up by a lot of folks who don't know what happened. I recieved a note, and had continued correspondence with, the lady in question. While I can't say what she said to anyone else, SHE MADE NO CLAIMS OF BRUTALIZATION to me. In addition, she did not want to make any of this "public", she just wanted a few people to know what happened. As usual, some people felt they needed to protect/support/whatever someone ( jus tlike in this thread ), even if it meant disrespecting that persons own wishes. The result is a lot of nonsense claims, which will do no good to anyone, and will probably do some harm to both the parties involved.
I personally think that everyone would be doing both these people a favor by dropping this, and if they want to say something, let them do it themselves. Third party information almost always gets twisted ( I'm sure we've all played "telephone" in high school ), contorted, and worst of all, amplified. Two weeks from now we'll be hearing about how this girl got murdered ( but she got better ), and that the client got some terrible diesease from her ( but no one else she saw did ). THIS IS BAD FOR EVERYONE.
When the board started, one of the first things I asked was that the guys try to refrain from being "knights in shining armor", trying to defend the virtue of any lady who anyone had anything to say which wasn't 100% flattering. The same goes for the providers here.
Let's refrain from the idle gossip, rumours and innuendo. Let folks speak for themselves from first hand information. And if someone doesn't want to air their dirty laundry in public, let's respect their wishes, please.
On one hand, I feel it might be the best thing to simply delete this thread, but then another would probably crop up, so instead I'll ask that those who don't know anything about the issue simply stear clear.
For the issue, I think it's being stirred up by a lot of folks who don't know what happened. I recieved a note, and had continued correspondence with, the lady in question. While I can't say what she said to anyone else, SHE MADE NO CLAIMS OF BRUTALIZATION to me. In addition, she did not want to make any of this "public", she just wanted a few people to know what happened. As usual, some people felt they needed to protect/support/whatever someone ( jus tlike in this thread ), even if it meant disrespecting that persons own wishes. The result is a lot of nonsense claims, which will do no good to anyone, and will probably do some harm to both the parties involved.
I personally think that everyone would be doing both these people a favor by dropping this, and if they want to say something, let them do it themselves. Third party information almost always gets twisted ( I'm sure we've all played "telephone" in high school ), contorted, and worst of all, amplified. Two weeks from now we'll be hearing about how this girl got murdered ( but she got better ), and that the client got some terrible diesease from her ( but no one else she saw did ). THIS IS BAD FOR EVERYONE.
When the board started, one of the first things I asked was that the guys try to refrain from being "knights in shining armor", trying to defend the virtue of any lady who anyone had anything to say which wasn't 100% flattering. The same goes for the providers here.
Let's refrain from the idle gossip, rumours and innuendo. Let folks speak for themselves from first hand information. And if someone doesn't want to air their dirty laundry in public, let's respect their wishes, please.
Assman- are you for real!!
How can you say something like that when Dawn is going out on a limb here, what she is doing takes guts and balls. She is just trying to protect the innocent party - no need to bring names into play here. Give her a break Assman! The only reason you wrote this is to create controversary! You should be the one not to say anything, not her!!
How can you say something like that when Dawn is going out on a limb here, what she is doing takes guts and balls. She is just trying to protect the innocent party - no need to bring names into play here. Give her a break Assman! The only reason you wrote this is to create controversary! You should be the one not to say anything, not her!!
First I would like to thank Dawn and Candie for coming to my defense and the fella's who emailed me with there concern and support.
I was going to keep my mouth shut about this situation but everytime I turn around someone else has an opinion about what happen.
Slinky - Your response was very professional and I appreciate that.
There is a vicious and extremely nasty rumor going around about me. If it were true my real name and my handle would be pasted all over the boards and details would have been released.
The person who started this rumor is NOT a provider and does not have the balls to stand up and apologize. They took something they heard and twisted it around. There is a on going attempt to clear my name.
Assman - Dawn was stating her support for me and letting other providers, who may have heard the rumor and read this forum, know where she stands. The rumor was only passed around to board moderators and providers. The providers and moderators who heard this rumor already know my handle. There was no need for her to mention any names. She put her reputation on the line by standing up for me.
Again I want to thank the people who came to my support.
I was going to keep my mouth shut about this situation but everytime I turn around someone else has an opinion about what happen.
Slinky - Your response was very professional and I appreciate that.
There is a vicious and extremely nasty rumor going around about me. If it were true my real name and my handle would be pasted all over the boards and details would have been released.
The person who started this rumor is NOT a provider and does not have the balls to stand up and apologize. They took something they heard and twisted it around. There is a on going attempt to clear my name.
Assman - Dawn was stating her support for me and letting other providers, who may have heard the rumor and read this forum, know where she stands. The rumor was only passed around to board moderators and providers. The providers and moderators who heard this rumor already know my handle. There was no need for her to mention any names. She put her reputation on the line by standing up for me.
Again I want to thank the people who came to my support.
proceed with caution
I don't think there is any need for assman to flame Dawn on this subject. She was simply coming to the aid of a reputable client, defending his honor and chastising the provider for being unprofessional. It could be potentially damaging to the client if his name were to be released. And since he is innocent until proven guity he is entitled to that right. On the same token it wouldn't be right to blast the provider because she was all gooned up. And again she is innocent until proven guilty. This is not the National Enquirer or Star magazine where we need to overdramatize the facts. Just a nice gesture on Dawn's part. Sweet and simple. Nuff said. Have a nice day!
I don't think there is any need for assman to flame Dawn on this subject. She was simply coming to the aid of a reputable client, defending his honor and chastising the provider for being unprofessional. It could be potentially damaging to the client if his name were to be released. And since he is innocent until proven guity he is entitled to that right. On the same token it wouldn't be right to blast the provider because she was all gooned up. And again she is innocent until proven guilty. This is not the National Enquirer or Star magazine where we need to overdramatize the facts. Just a nice gesture on Dawn's part. Sweet and simple. Nuff said. Have a nice day!
generally speaking...
i am not going to comment on this particular situation because quite frankly it's none of my business and any specifics i have "heard" are sketchy at best. i do not have enough information to form an informed opinion and any further comment would be unfair and downright stupid. however, being a person who has been the victim of an unfounded viscous rumor in the past and having had my name used on message boards(by another person) to slander other providers and clients(this was pre tbd registration) i do have a general opinion. in my experience i think that most of what you "hear" is very rarely 100% accurate. always remember that unless you were there to witness something with you own eyes your information is always 2nd, 3rd or 4th hand and often told to you by someone with an agenda. things are very rarely as they seem to be. no matter how solid you think your source is, always remember that the information is most likely handed down. i have had things told to me by many people about many things. and invariably they turn out to be skewed or downright not true. and these things were told to me by people whom you would consider to be rock solid sources from highly ranked tbd providers with connections up the wazzu to some of the most highly thought of moderators. what i usually do when i hear something is immediately take 50% of it and dismiss it out of hand. of the other 50%, take 49% and take it with a very large grain of salt. the remaining 1% might be true. there are always 2 sides to every story and the truth usually resides somewhere in the middle. speaking from experience... just my opinion
i am not going to comment on this particular situation because quite frankly it's none of my business and any specifics i have "heard" are sketchy at best. i do not have enough information to form an informed opinion and any further comment would be unfair and downright stupid. however, being a person who has been the victim of an unfounded viscous rumor in the past and having had my name used on message boards(by another person) to slander other providers and clients(this was pre tbd registration) i do have a general opinion. in my experience i think that most of what you "hear" is very rarely 100% accurate. always remember that unless you were there to witness something with you own eyes your information is always 2nd, 3rd or 4th hand and often told to you by someone with an agenda. things are very rarely as they seem to be. no matter how solid you think your source is, always remember that the information is most likely handed down. i have had things told to me by many people about many things. and invariably they turn out to be skewed or downright not true. and these things were told to me by people whom you would consider to be rock solid sources from highly ranked tbd providers with connections up the wazzu to some of the most highly thought of moderators. what i usually do when i hear something is immediately take 50% of it and dismiss it out of hand. of the other 50%, take 49% and take it with a very large grain of salt. the remaining 1% might be true. there are always 2 sides to every story and the truth usually resides somewhere in the middle. speaking from experience... just my opinion
you are right dawn
i had intended to comment about the spreading of rumors also, but in my haste i forgot. i feel that you are right in that what goes on in the room stays in the room unless something something tragic happens. it was bad enough that word was leaked out about whatever had happened. but for an unsubstantiated rumor like that to be spread around to all the moderators and providers(as slinky mentioned) is unforgivable.
i had intended to comment about the spreading of rumors also, but in my haste i forgot. i feel that you are right in that what goes on in the room stays in the room unless something something tragic happens. it was bad enough that word was leaked out about whatever had happened. but for an unsubstantiated rumor like that to be spread around to all the moderators and providers(as slinky mentioned) is unforgivable.
as someone who got caught in the middle of this very same situation by trying to do the right thing for a girl who made the exact same accusations about a fellow poster that i always got along with......EVERYONE STAY CLEAR OF THIS. there are only losers in this type of thread.......no one can win here. slinky is right to delete it.
EZ.....as some one who took the providers side in this same issue that you're involved in...let me say to you what i told this other fellow poster who was accused......
i wasn't there and neither was anyone else. just you and the girl in question so theres probably truths and untruths on both sides, it doesn't mean your wrong, doesn't mean she's wrong.....just that you can't possibly win. just cut your loses and let it go......everyone will forget it in a few. if you blow it up like i (mistakenly did) then NO one will forget it.
LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE!
EZ.....as some one who took the providers side in this same issue that you're involved in...let me say to you what i told this other fellow poster who was accused......
i wasn't there and neither was anyone else. just you and the girl in question so theres probably truths and untruths on both sides, it doesn't mean your wrong, doesn't mean she's wrong.....just that you can't possibly win. just cut your loses and let it go......everyone will forget it in a few. if you blow it up like i (mistakenly did) then NO one will forget it.
LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE!
